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A note from l nimbus

Thanks for giving this a try. Read on. 

 

Dis chapter haz been kleened by da great PlasmaticPI

 

 

//Kleyu Tomb, Ilmara, The Exiled Kingdoms.//

Hooves clomping against the stone floor, Garok dashed towards the [Skeletal Evoker]. Lifting his shield, he deftly deflected the undead mage's Blightbolt, slammed his greatsword into its head and sent the grinning skull flying. Using the momentum, he ground his hooves into the floor and whirled in place, catching a single arrow with his tower shield, while his leg armor stopped another.

For a second, he glared at the [Undead Archers] but focused on the foe before him. A [Tolssian Champion]. A giant, armoured, skeleton. A visible aura of death surrounded it, and his nostrils could smell the wrongness of the Thing. Black armour covered its body, and in its hand was a giant Dual Sword, made of a single handle and two blades. A ruthless killing machine, it was the reason this tomb had never been fully cleared, and Tol's dark energy continued to gather here. But that would end today.

Steadying himself, the Minotaur [Cleric] hefted his shield before him and slowly advanced. As long as the [Undead Archers] were active, he could not risk exposing himself. A single lucky shot at the wrong moment could cost him his life.

"Come, Tolssian filth, today you perish."

The abomination opened its mouth and ROARED, a sound so loud it shook the walls. Swinging it's sword before it, it strode towards the Minotaur. Momentarily dazed, Garok barely had time to recover before it was on him, slashing at his legs, intent on crippling him. Stepping back, he swung his own weapon out at it, catching and deflecting the things blade, but it instantly reversed the movement and stabbed towards his head with the rear mounted blade. Ducking under its attack, the [Cleric] exploded forward, his muscles straining as he slammed his shield into the skeleton, forcing it back and denting the chest plate.

Garok knew better than to let the Tolssian attack him more than thrice, thus activating its [Duel] aspect, a skill which would increase the power of every consecutive attack. Carefully circling to the left, he kept the giant undead between him and the entrenched archers. Many considered Minotaurs to be berserkers, but Garok had learned to fight differently. He would never have become a [Cleric] otherwise.

As the Tolssian recovered and strode towards him, he activated his own skill, [Arbenos's Might]. Pale flames wreathed his blade, and he felt energy flowing Into him as the warrior God's power was granted to his faithful. Lashing out, he swatted the Tolssian's blade away mid swing and rammed his shield into him again, sending it skidding back across the stones. He moved forward, Intent on pressing the advantage, but the champion was relentless. Before it had even stopped moving, it was already raising it's blade and striding towards him, determined to end his life. Garok drew back a gauntleted arm and threw a haymaker at it, and promptly felt an arrow sprout from the gap where the gauntlet ended.

Gritting his teeth, he abandoned the attack. Raising his foot, he kicked the Tolssian, sending it flying back. whereupon he promptly retreated. Keeping his shield in front of him, he backed out of the room, into the corridor. Reaching over, he grabbed the arrow, prayed it wasn't barbed, and yanked it out. Snarling with pain, he wasted no time casting [Heal] on himself.

Wound closed, he looked back into the room. A high stone ceiling and gray walls lit only by some sort of artificial light, a central dias was raised above the floor, and multiple balconies contained archers. Theoretically, they should have contained the [Skeletal Evoker] too, but for some reason it had been near the dias instead, and made for an easy kill.
On the dias glowed a single black energy structure, sucking in mana from the surrounding area and converting it into energy for the undead to survive on.

Renewing his Might spell, he dug his fingers into the rock on the side of the tunnel and began prying out the somewhat loose stones. A few minutes later he had a small pile. The undead wouldn't bother him as long as he didn't enter the room, so he was mildly safe here..for now.

Hefting a decent rock. he took aim at an archer on the balcony closest to him, drew back and hurled it, activating [Unerring Throw]. And watched, satisfied, as it's head was blown off. a few minutes and a fair sized chunk of wall later, only the Champion remained in the room.

Wasting no time, he entered the room again, determined to finish the job. Pumping his legs, he barreled across the floor. The Tolssian lifted its sword and again strode forward, intent on meeting him. Garok closed the distance, stepped into the Tolssian's attack and put all of his considerable weight into a roundhouse swing that cleaved through the undead's armour and bones, killing it. And was promptly blown backwards as the spell holding the skeleton together gave up and expended its power outwards.

Landing with an audible crack, he slid backwards across the dusty floor before colliding with the wall, leaving a nice, minotaur sized indent in it. His shield had taken the worst of the blast, now sporting several dents and leaning back at a slight angle, but his back was bitching too. Staggering up, he cast [Heal] and felt the pain slowly begin to exit him.

Picking up his greatsword from where he dropped it, he stomped towards the dias, in a foul mood and longing to get this mission over with. Moving past the Tolssian's body, he drew back and kicked its head, then watched it sail across the room and collide with the wall. Gaining a small amount of satisfaction from that, Garok approached the dias and swung his sword, bringing it down on the carefully laid runes. there was a crack, a flash, and Garok disappeared.

//Unknown.//

"Fail this task, and your life is forfeit."

Dumrye swallowed his saliva and nodded at the Mutyra's statement. Returning what passed for his eyes to the floating gray screen before him, he read it again, just to be safe.

{"Congratulations, Sapients. As of right NOW, Earth is the 37,531st planet to receive the gift of the System. Each of you will have a chance to prove your worth to your viewers on the Tiipenet. Your struggles for survival shall bring us many Krolls, and provide our subscribers with quality entertainment. Earthlings can now gain levels, classes and skills. Become strong, battle monsters, thrive, and most importantly, be amusing."}
{-The Tiipenet team.}
{"Bonus: Five thousand boss class monsters have been imported from various worlds, slay them for fantastic rewards."}

He had already checked it thrice, but one could never be too sure when a Mutyra was watching. Even the slightest error in the wording would null his contract with Tiipenet, and thus his life. A new planet was being inducted into the System, and that first impression was the most important they could make.

Where the System had come from, no one knew. But it was agreed upon by most that it provided a way for all to grow stronger. It favored no one above another. The Mutyra had found a way to roughly guide it to new worlds, and made themselves rich beyond belief by providing entertainment to the rest of the Universe. They also made a killing by selling various powers and skill ups to the inhabitants of newly inducted planets.

Dumrye's job was simple. All he was required to do was send the customary message to every sentient being on the new planet just as the System began initializing, a job even a Cronk could do, while the other workers would make sure everything proceeded smoothly. Normally, this wouldn't warrant the Mutyra's attention, but ever since one lazy Shneck had fumbled shit up during Gsatury's Initialization, they had been watching. A planet core gaining sentience and access to the System was not something that should ever have been allowed to happen.

"System transferring to new world in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6"

Sensors alert, Dumrye focused on the screen before him, as soon as the countdown hit zero, a mental command would send it to this new world.

"5, 4, ,3, 2, 1, ......Initializing System."
With a though, the screen vanished, hitchhiking onto the System. His job was done, for now.

//Thyr Ridges, Ilmara, The Exiled Kingdoms.//

The Hill Giant grasped the dead Voraptor lying before it, wrapping one hand around its neck, and the other around its feet. Pulling it into the air, it lifted its meal to its cavernous mouth, already savoring the fire infused meat. As it's teeth bit down to sink into the pungent flesh, there was a flash, and the Giant disappeared. The Voraptor's corpse dropped to the ground, with a single bite mark in its side.


//The Sewer of Horrors, beneath Icemist, Thuram, The Exiled Kingdoms.//

The [Demi-Lich] stared into the darkness, watching through the dripping, stinking walls as the mutated rats moved through the tunnels. If it was possible for a skeleton to be bored, the demi-lich would have lost its mind long ago. For decades now, the Wizards of Thuram had dumped their failed experiments into the sewers, and nought else. Its [Life Sense] let it see what came through these fetid tunnels, and no human had been here for nearly a century. Inside its mind, it yearned for something to do.
Other than guarding this blasted tome.
And killing the rats that got to close.

A short while later, there was a flash, and the demi-lich disappeared.

//Near Lannengar, Kingdom of Varsillia, The Exiled Kingdoms.//

The goblin [Flamedancer] crept towards the sleeping town. For too long had it gone unplundered, for too long had it provided adventurers to hunt his people. Tonight he would set it ablaze, kill the guards, take the women, loot what he wanted.....providing the guards didn't see him first. As he drew back his hand and summoned a fireball, there was a flash, and he disappeared.


//The Forbidden Pit, Mount Orogg, Ilmara, The Exiled Kingdoms.//

The [Shadow Dragon] waited, had done so ever since it was sealed here centuries ago. For what, it didn't know. For the Seal to one day break ? Perhaps. It was patient, it could not die, not when the magic of the Pit sustained it. There was a flash, and it too vanished.


//Dead Space, Unknown//

It watched, so it had for eons, waiting. Waiting for the slightest tear, the smallest rift, to let it through. To walk once more among the living. To devour life itself. Time meant nothing to it. Here, it was invincible, immortal. But that did not satisfy it. It could not create, only destroy, and it had already destroyed all in this small world. It should have left, devoured more, but something had sealed this space away. But it could not stop it from observing. It watched a world where it had once walked, where it did not consume all. It had meant to let them regrow, then come back again. And now, life was being taken from that broken world to another. To a full world, and it wanted a taste.

 

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A note from l nimbus

Editing done. 


About the author

l nimbus

  • Asskicker

Bio: I write. You read. Maybe you enjoy it. Maybe you don't.

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smuggles999 @smuggles999 ago

This kind of surreal since I just started playing exiled kingdoms a few days ago. The only minotuar I've seen was the unstable experiment after being locked up in prison. Gonna probably buy the full game at some point.

    l nimbus
    Author

    l nimbus @l nimbus ago

    DO that, the full version is worth every penny, the amount of content ( well written Btw) is staggering, and each class provides its own unique playthrough. Cleric class 4ever for me though.

    Currently running a Lvl 14 warrior.

    Lvl 19 cleric

    and a lvl 6 mage.

      smuggles999 @smuggles999 ago

      The secret rooms being essiential for some quests is annoying though since I feel like I'm missing the solution to some quests and makes me want to pull out the wiki. Currently trying to get a ruby for that cloak guy in kingsbridge but I sold the few I found before since no wolf pelt now that I have the pelt I seem to get every gem but ruby.

      l nimbus
      Author

      l nimbus @l nimbus ago

      Sometimes, it's like that. One of the reason's i love the Cleric Class though. The Skill Thelum's Wisdom reveals every secret and trap within 20 feet of you. Ultra useful for some of the later Dungeosn. and almost essential for getting through the Maze of Lamath. ( The Minotaur dunegon. )

      smuggles999 @smuggles999 ago

      Well I DID use the wiki a little bit and found out that a secret door I knew exists since I could see the tiles behind the wall would only open if I was level 9 was irritating, especially since I even went back with a scroll. Feel like secret rooms and traps should have random spawn points in the dungeon.

      l nimbus
      Author

      l nimbus @l nimbus ago

      *Wiggles eyebrows* they do. even with an Op exploration skill, it can get hella frustrating.

      also, do NOT enter Kingsbridge with Adaon set as you compaion or it WILL Null the quest and give you - 40 Rep with the Wizard's guild.

      He stole something he shouldn't have.

      smuggles999 @smuggles999 ago

      Well I finished the quest but does that still apply? Still tempted to start a new game and attempt to leave him in the cell.

      l nimbus
      Author

      l nimbus @l nimbus ago

      Yes. it still applies, also, Adaon might be a dick, but he's damn useful as a long range attacker if you give him a bow and stack on poison damage with his skills. the faster the bow's firing speed the better.

      instance: The Jester's bow has a damage rating of 1:1, but a firing speed of 18, with the right skills. it becomes the 3rd strongest bow in the game, dealing maasive damage at overwhelming speed.

Oninomad @Oninomad ago

Phones acting up so I can't copy but so far

Catch in first paragraph should be catching, formatting error at dual swords, capitalization on the paragraph the starts with "the abomination", the word raisimg,capitalization on the sentence starting "a few minutes later", capitalization on the sentence starting "his shield", capitalization on the sentence "perhaps.", capitalization on the sentence starting "here, it was invincible" ,capitalization on the sentence starting "but it could not stop"

Sorry I don't normally point out errors like this and I won't continue to unless they're glaring mistakes. Honestly grammar and spelling are above par here but since it's the first chapter and I like what I'm seeing I thought I'd help make sure it gives the best possible first impression.

Jeff091 @Jeff091 ago

hi,

thanks for the story

typo

if you what i'm delivering, help me by pointing out typo's

if you like/enjoy what I'm delivering, help me by pointing out typo's

#############

Using the momentum ,he ground his hooves into the floor and whirled in place, catch a single arrow with his tower shield, while his leg armor stopped another.

Using the momentum, he ground his hooves into the floor and whirled in place, catching a single arrow with his tower shield, while his leg armor stopped another.

Sazer @Sazer ago

So, I just started reading this. The chapter is well-written, definitely, and it grabs your attention, but I feel all the unique titles/words might overwhelm readers who don't have a background experience with Exiled Kingdoms. I know I found it a little hard to keep track of the bracketed words, but perhaps those will simply ease in over the next chapters.

As for your request to point out typos, I'll copy paste the ones I noted with corrections.

-

If you like what I'm delivering, help me by pointing out typos and let me know what you think in the comments. And most of all, give me honest reviews.

... slammed his greatsword into its head - its instead of it's and you might want to change slammed into a synonym, since you already used the word slamming earlier in the sentence.

Using the momentum ,he ground - the space should always be after the comma. There are a few other instances of this, I won't copy those here.

... he swatted the tolssian's blade - I'm not too sure about this but I assume Tolssian needs to be capitalized.

... back across the stones. He moved forward, Intent on pressing the advantage, but the champion was relentless.

Gritting his teeth, he abandoned the attack. Raising his foot, he kicked the Tolssian, sending it flying back, whereupon he promptly retreated.

Theoretically, they should have contained the [Skeletal Evoker] too, but for some reason it had been near the Dias instead, and made for an easy kill.

A few minutes later, he had a small pile. The undead wouldn't bother him as long as he didn't enter the room, so he was mildly safe here... for now.

Hefting a decent rock, he took aim at an archer on the balcony closest to him, drew back and hurled it, activating [Unerring Throw]. He watched, satisfied, as it's head was blown off. A few minutes and a fair sized chunk of wall later, only the Champion remained in the room.

Staggering up, he cast [Heal] and felt the pain slowly begin to exit him.

Gaining a small amount of satisfaction from that, Garok approached the Dias and swung his sword, bringing it down on the carefully laid runes. There was a crack, a flash, and Garok disappeared.

If it was possible for a skeleton to be bored, the demi-lich would have lost it's mind long ago. For decades now, the Wizards of Thuram had dumped their failed experiments into the sewers, and nought else. It's [Life Sense] let it see what came through these fetid tunnels, and no human had been here for nearly a century. Inside it's mind, it yearned...

For what, it didn't I know. For the Seal to one day break? Perhaps.

Here, it was invincible, immortal, but that did not satisfy it.

But it could not stop it from observing. It watched a world where it had once walked, where it did not consume all. It had meant to let them regrow, then come back again. And now, life was being taken from that broken world to another. To a full world, and it wanted a taste.

-

Hope this helps!

PouchCotato @PouchCotato ago

multiple *blaconies with skeletons

Fl1pstre @Fl1pstre ago

Still a couple of typos. Very minor tho

Hooves clanging against. Clomping might be better.

Dias should be dais I think

37,531th should be 37,531st

An other should be another

Also don't use comma before and unless appropriate.

Do far so good. Sorry for being nitpicky tho

TiredGun @TiredGun ago

That damn parasite.

Thomas Loud @Thomas Loud ago

That poor giant, you should never leave for work with a full stomach.

Whassup @Whassup ago

Garok knew better than to let the Tolssian attack him more than thrice, thus activated activating it's [Duel] aspect,

Thus [past] doesn't really work well.