Original ONGOING Comedy Fantasy Female Lead GameLit High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation School Life Slice of Life Supernatural

Be careful what you wish for. Jade has spent her life fighting boredom in the terminally ill ward by surfing the net and envying the ability and energy of others to go out and live. So when she wakes up with a weak, but healthy body in a magical world with blue game-like system notifications filling her vision, she'll have to adapt quickly in order to survive. Thankfully, she has a bit of luck and an ability that will let her reach for the stars. 

This is Andara, where her adventure finally truly begins.

Author's Note: This is my raw, unedited text. In order to comply with my contract, book 1 has been taken down from RR except for the beginning, unedited preview chapters at this point. The edited book 1 is on Amazon! Thanks for your support!

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Jaybird

Jaybird

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EverShadow
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First off, the overall story is enjoyable. It's reasonably fun to read, and the plot seems interesting, if a bit unoriginal as well. All my later comments are critical, but it isn't a bad story.

 

My main two complaints are on the author's style and character development. Jade, the main character, seems to have everything handed to her on a silver platter with no struggle. Not only that, but the way she accomplishes things is often in a quite rude manner that should set people against her. Unfortunately, they all seem to love her for some reason. There is very little explanation as to why this is, and most of her interactions follow this structure:

1. Person does something slightly rude, 2. Jade flips out at them because she doesn't want to be a pushover, 3. Person is shocked, 4. Person loves Jade, 5. Jade is proud of herself.

To be honest, it's kind of boring and also very unrealistic. Try to make the characters and their interactions more believable.

projectoffset
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Enjoyment will depend on what you're looking for.

 I'm about 45 chapters in and I think it's about time to drop this. I was hoping there would be a shift in how things are handled and a shift in the main character but I'm sorry to say that it probably won't happen. 

As the review title states, what you think of the story and how much you enjoy it will depend on what you're looking for. 

I would classify this piece of writing as mainly slice of life and heavy on the fluff. My main issues are with the MC and the world around her and its supporting characters. For all intents and purposes, the MC is essentially a privalged golden child once the story starts. Her past is different but we aren't really exposed to it in any meaningful way. Everything goes her way, everyone likes her (more or less), the whole world revolves around her. I think it's unrealistic in a somewhat jarring way. None of the events and reactions come across as believable, partially because they are all the same. The main character basically just imagines or does things and they work out and everyone is amazed, rinse and repeat. Her attitude is also somewhat like that of a spoiled child. Despite her former tragic life, she sort of comes across like a sociopath to me. 

The magic system is somewhat interesting but very underdeveloped. Skills and stats exist, but no background or underlying technicals are given. How the MC handles the system as a whole also doesn't help this at all since any sort of struggle is apparently forbidden in this world.

It's a light hearted story that is high on the (blind) wish fulfillment. A lot of the chapters so far have been filled with (what I consider) meaningless fluff and observations/conversations. This may change later but if it does at least know that it the first 50 chapters or so are basically what I have described above. 

kiwi
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Good, but not great

I like this story. The way Siphon is written is very cute and I would recommend it as a light read.

However there are a few problems that hold this story back from being great. The most blaring problem lie in the supporting characters. There is not enough variance between characters. Many of them are too conveniently placed to act as a sponge for an emotionally unstable main character. Do not take that the wrong way. The main character as she is, is entertaining. The childishness adds onto her lack of social experience, but It would be great to see some significant character growth. All of the supporting characters unrealistically throw down everything for a girl they met at most a few days ago. There is frankly nothing interesting about the side characters as every new character will most likely throw themselves on the ground to help the main character. Too predictable. The repetitiveness is making the story dry.

As of chapter 36, this story desperately needs a hurdle that is not easily resolved by the convenient plot or the ever helpful, poorly built side characters. I hope to see growth in the main character and progress in the story.

Hoping from the sidelines that my comments are helpful and this story becomes great. Goodluck Jaybird.

 

Graestra
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It’s very difficult to like the mc.

This is a review up to chapter 20

Overall the story is pretty decent, but the main thing I think is holding it back is the main character. 

It’s very difficuly to like the mc. She’s 18 yet acts really childish most of them time, bouncing around singing and doing whatever she wants. She’s arrogant and self-centered, and doesn’t seen to care about inconveniencing the people around her and expects them to cater to her whims. She’s openly hostile to people if they annoy her, and threatens them.

A few examples of these things: when she’s scheduling classes she threatens to throw a tantrum with magic to annoy the professors if she has to attend an early class. She grabs the prince’s special library card out of his hand and demands he give her one, and when he refuses she blatantly steals it in front of other people, despite only knowing him less than half a day. She deliberately yells loudly in the middle of the library to get someones attention. She threatens to smash a girls pretty face when she trips her.

Basically she acts like she knows she’s the main character and does whatever she wants with no regards for consequences.

And despite all this pretty much everyone likes her. The reasoning why she’s like this is that she’s spent her whole life in the hospital so she’s never developed social skills, but I really don’t think that’s enough of a justification. She apparently loves to read and has watched D&D campaigns online, as well as watched some anime I believe, so she should have learned some common sense and basic manners from them. And she doesn’t come off as socially awkward, just obnoxious.

And even if the reason she’s like that was perfectly explained and totally justified, it still doesn’t make her more likeable.

halycon404
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The first... 10 or so of this isn't bad. Now I'm on chapter 60 and I'm just done. Adversity went away, everything works out for her. It's become downright boring. I think my last straw was the contract with the a royal cousin or something. Basically a royal was a jerk to her for half a second in a chapter, and her answer was using the newly introduced idea of contract magic to create a contract that limits what they could do. And the King and the Queen of the story were all, "What a lovely idea! Let's bind our nephew's actions to a person who's been in this world for less than 2 weeks and we've only met once!".

No. Just no.

I'm done. The MC can do absolutely anything they want and everyone falls in line, there's no adversity to be seen anywhere past the opening. It's outright stupid and boring. There's not even a cliched outright mustachioed villian. Everyone thinks she's amazing, and for making base observations about a world she's been in for, again, less than two weeks people praise her for her genius. Everyone is subserviant to the MC to the point of outright stupidity.

I had hoped the story would change, it'd move back toward what t was in the begining, it's not. It's getting worse. She has basically one real weakness, and instead of having to learn how to manage the weakness and ability the author gave her a skill to remove it and boost her power. I'm not kidding, character is already super powerful, let's make her more powerful for no personal cost. It just happens. "Oh, I got this skill now that makes me even more cheat than I was yesterday.".

I can't even say it's a great female character, there's a lack of strong female leads in fiction in general. This doens't help it. There's no adversity for her to overcome to be that strong female lead. It's just an idiotic character who happens to be female.


I'm serious, this is stupid. I'm done with it.

Killashard
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A bit of wish-fulfillment, but a great story

The story is overall, quite great.  The premise isn't new, nor is the ability the MC has, though it is expressed with a slight twist that I particulary like.

Grammar is fantastic.  The overall style is quite refreshing actually.  Many stories are much more dark and grim.  This is very happy-go-lucky and sweet. 

The conversations seem well written and you can feel the differences between characters.  This is a nice plus as many stories it can be difficult to tell the difference between side characters.

My only constructive critique is that things seem to be a bit too easy for the MC.  Many things are handed to her.  This is where I feel the story is a bit of wish-fullfilment, but it's nothing bad.  It's a story about a girl that never left her hospital bed and only met nurses and doctors and now can walk and is meeting new and important people left and right. 

Update on Chapter 79

Wow!  It has definitely had some darker undertones in the last dozen or so chapters.  It started out small, but it is becoming a lot more "realistic" in the relationship side of the story.  At first it was everyone wants to be her friend and they are all beautiful people that can do no wrong.  Now we see past their public personas and see a hint of darkness. 

I'm enjoying the story even more as it goes on.

ronrironin
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Power Creep!! *shakes fist*

Reviewed at: Sense Chapter 27 - Help

I think I'm done, Ch 27 of book 3. This has been a long time coming, but I guess there's nothing interesting left for me here.

I reeeeeaaallllllyy like the premise of this story, and the first book was very enjoyable. It has its quirks - my major caveat is the plethora of characters with generic names that I'm expected to remember, leaving me to spend half an updated chapter going "who is this?" when I should be enjoying the read - but it is so well written I found myself enjoying the ride. Yet those first few chapters were the best, what I felt was going to be a great setup for a great story that...never really happened.

First, the aforementioned bloated cast of characters. There are about 10x more characters with names in this book than a Jane Austen novel. The low character score isn't (mostly) for the MC, its for all the others who pop in for a plot point and then pop out, then another comes in and is important to plot, but I can't remember who they are before a group of a dozen are in a room and all talking as if they were introduced earlier and...well, it got confusing.

Then there's the MC. She's a Mary Sue, but you shouldn't hold that against her. I actually like Jade, her personality feels real even if she can come off as entitled more often than not. The author plays this off by giving her a tragic backstory and early in the chapters a power that comes at the cost of pain, but as the chapters continue and by the time of book 2, her powers have zero drawbacks and she is essentially a goddess at that point.

Which is my biggest problem with the series. I want to read about a heroine who has to struggle, who has powers but also weaknesses. Right now, at Jade's level of power, she is more wish-fulfillment than character and it makes anything she does feel uninteresting.

As for what makes the series great, there is actually plenty of that to go around. Jaybird is a fantastic wordsmith, the grammar and prose and pacing are all top-notch. I would probably still be reading this if I felt there was something left to offer, but I'm not reading that. At this point, I'll wait for Jaybird's next series and hope it has better character development than this one.

Aspartame
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Was enthralled with this at first. A jack-of-all-trades heroine without adversity is called a Mary Sue character. She had a little bit of adversity starting off, in a I-need-to-adapt kind of way, then all adversity vanished. All downhill. There is a background feeling of, other people are dying in the endless fight against monsters while Super-Mary-Sue tries to figure out how to invent a better magic refrigerator. The rejection of the call of destiny is generally the start of the hero's journey, but the way it's portrayed here makes the MC look particularly vile.

Inslayer
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At the beginning? It was great. Then as time went on some problems started to become more apparent.

Story wise it's not perfect, but it's not that bad either. There is no clear cut goal for the main character and she just lives her new life as it unravels. There is adversity and as far as I can tell, although not perfect, the story is just now starting to pick up.

The stylistic part of the story is also great, although it was better at the beginning, with my main issue being with how the character sheet of her abilities at one point just became a mess. It's just annoying to even gloss over that massive pile of words. Other than that, everything else is mostly fine.

Grammar is good enough to never notice any mistakes while reading.

Characters on the other hand, as I said, are a different rant all together. Character development is a bit sped through, but it is there, and it is noticeable.

The main character goes from being unable to even watch a fight, to outright starting one to save her friend (not quite a fight, but it's to avoid some spoilers)

Each character is different and well fleshed out. You will not find any one or two dimensional characters in this story.

Of course, however, for me to rate it so low there must be a problem... and there is. The problem is with the main character, and how she behaves, with everyone just accepting her behavior because she's important.

Anyone who checks Character ratings will see it's the only one not 4 stars, and that is because of the main character's behavior. It's not something that will show up all that much, but if you reread it once, you will surely notice it.

I will just copy a part from a previous review and fix it:

1. Person does something slightly rude

2. Jade flips out at them because she doesn't want to be a pushover 

3. Person is shocked

4. Person doesn't hold any bad feelings for Jade because he "was in the wrong"

5. Jade is proud of herself

6. Everything continues like normal

7. Rinse and repeat

 

That's not to say her character is all baddie and stuff, since there are also a lot of positive things to say about her, something that's been ignored in all those low rating reviews.

She is a charming character and worries for her friends when they are in trouble. She's a lovable and nice character, and would be even greater if the author could balance out some things. 

You can picture exactly the person the main character is if you imagine a warm and likable woman, previously  stressed out a ton from her work, having now this whole new adventure where she is free from all constraints, with her fair share of power and good friends. She will remember your mistakes, she will find you, and she will kill you.

Alkhazix
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The happiest MC makes me warm inside

Chapter 18 at this point....

Let me tell you, this is the greatest thing since garlic bread!

A really happy-go-lucky mc who makes you warm inside at her simply being over the moon for walking, a nice touch of OP-ness that while not too pronounced yet, isn't over the top either....I like it anyway.

Seriously though.....she's so cute and cuddly...I feel like skipping right now from her being so happy! Keep this up.

Grammar's great too! Always a nice plus. Keep this up author!