The Scourged Earth

by Mirrored

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Horror Sci-fi Cyberpunk Grimdark LitRPG Magic Male Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

 Derrick is no ones hero.  He is barely dealing with his mundane life when all of humanity is forced to confront the extraordinary. Overnight, all across the world, mysterious machines appear. They offer people the chance to purchase almost anything they can think of. Weapons, medicine and even super human abilities are offered, seemingly for free.

But following these machines, come the Scourges. The most dangerous creatures, diseases and machines that infest the universe. Ever growing and battling, these empires of horror and hunger will overhelm and devour the Earth and its inhabitants. Unless Derrick and humanity can stand against all the horrors that battle between the stars.

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My first Story, an attempt to turn the standard fantasy litrpg apocalypse into a Sci Fi. Trying for a slower build to power for the MC, so don't expect him to have cheat powers. I delight in helpful crticism so no holding back plz.

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Mirrored

Mirrored

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
1.1 The World Changes ago
1.2 Hitting the Gym ago
1.3 Whet the Blades ago
Interlude: Gods and Monsters ago
1.4 Me and you in the Melee ago
1.5 Explosive Situation ago
1.6 Rest and Recuperation ago
1.7 Hunting Grounds ago
1.8 The Next Level ago
2.1 A New Day ago
2.2 A New Battlefield ago
2.3 Cakewalk ago
Interlude: Gods and Monsters II ago
2.4 Human Nature ago
2.5 Social Creatures ago
2.6 Moves ago
Interlude: Ghost Town ago
Just a Poll and some music suggestions. ago
2.7 Questions and Answers ago
2.8 Dark Gifts ago
2.9 Scavengers ago
2.10 Pull of Greed ago
2.11 Tyranny ago
3.1 Standing Out ago
3.2 Temptation and Meditation ago
3.3 Plots and Armor ago
Interlude: Hierarchies ago
3.4 Trust and Trials ago
3.5 Support ago
3.6 Confidence under Fire ago
3.7 Progress ago
3.8 Alien Rules I ago
Interlude: Subtle Beasts ago
3.9 Caught in the Fold ago
3.10 Alien Rules II ago
3.11 Talent ago
3.12 Commitment ago
4.1 The Basics I ago
4.2 The Basics II ago
4.3 Personal Growth ago
4.4 Personal Growth II ago
4.5 Personal Growth III ago
4.6 Oil and Water ago
4.7 Undercurrents ago
4.8 Faces and Voices ago
4.9 Seizing Power ago
4.10 Meeting New People ago
4.11 Meeting New People II ago
4.12 Making an Impression ago
4.13 Unneighbourly ago
4.14 Tools and Traps ago
4.15 Nemesis ago
Interlude: Priorities ago
4.16 Nemesis II ago
4.17 What Lurks Beneath ago
5.1 Wake Up Call ago
5.2 No Good Deed ago
5.3 Goes Unpunished ago
5.4 Bargains ago
5.5 Responsibility ago
5.6 Rushing Ahead ago
5.7 Heart of the Matter ago
5.8 Under your Skin ago
5.9 Under Your Skin II ago
5.10 Fog of War ago
5.11 Fog of War II ago
5.12 Party Tricks I ago
5.13 Party Tricks II ago
5.14 Deleterious ago
5.15 Celebration ago
Interlude: Complications ago
Editing, Scheduling and Patreon Announcement ago
6.1 Without a Hitch ago
6.2 Limits ago
6.3 Litigation ago
6.4 Helpless ago
6.5 Innovation ago
6.6 Abomination ago
6.7 Complications ago
6.8 Breakneck ago
6.9 Moving Targets ago
6.10 Moving Targets II ago
 6.11 Recoil ago
6.12 Wild Theories ago
Reviews

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Synaps
  • Overall Score

8/10 pretty cool but stay away from me.

This story has an interesting setting and conciet for the nature of reality; It has decent dialogue and fewer grammatical errors than might be expected. It has pretty good pacing and some fun action.

It's a little lacking in charm. Comes off as a little dry. I find myself forgetting side characters and recent developments quickly. The tone is bleak, but not in a "the end is nigh and there's no hope" kind of way. It's more in a "My most valuable skill is violence. This is my life now, oh boy, here I go killin' again." Kind of way.

The undermining and shattering of human society seems to have gone unexpectedly smooth. People seem to be taking the sudden disappearance of loved ones and the cessation of their daily comforts and habits like they've been preparing all their life.

The MC especially started out really detatched from any hint he might have had a life before it all came crashing down, citing a life history of popping out of the ground and running off to work in IT. Which I like because it foreshadows a twist that the apocolypse actually started decades before the setting, when everyone's parents mysteriously disappeared.

 

RokudoMukuro30
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First time I rage quit a story with so much potential

This review is up to chapter 3.5

Grammar:
Despite the fact that the author has supposedly 'revised' the chapters and all of them are the second version/revised version, I found 1 up to 14 grammar issues in every single chapter. Every single one up to the last one I read had issues.

Its extremely distracting and it takes you away from the whole thing when you have so many errors. Even more so when sometimes you find three to four in the same paragraph.

Story
This novel has way too many inconsistencies. Many people found several of them and I made sure to comment every single one plus extra ones I found a long the way, yet the author never addressed this issues. I rage quit the novel once the MC was 'saved' for having a Trait he never bought. That is literally the definition of armor plot or whatever, idk. I just can't handle that much.

The plot is good u know, overall, but the inconsistencies happen far too often to not notice them.

Style:
I like the style in general. But there were some 'coincidences' throughout the story that just looked kinda cliched or too plot-armor-ish.

Characters:
The characters are not horribly fleshed out or anything, its just that they leave no real impression. It takes several chapters to get a grasp of a characters whole personality. The MC also acts like "You haven't seen what I have seen" quite sooner than you would expect without going through any kind of dark phase of sadness/horror/depression or anything like the others do. 

munch
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Has great potential, but errors with execution.

The story is good. Holistic plotline, good motivations, nice worldbuilding.

Unfortunately, some things are poorly done. Grammar has chronic mistakes. Phrasing/general writing quality is mediocre and/or awkward. And due to those two problems and characterization that lacks sufficient coherency, many of the characters feel stilted or artificial.

Also some minor but annoying errors with internal consistency. Though that's not nearly as important as polishing the writing in regards to grammar, articulation, and characterization.

I'd give it a chance if it gets cleaned up, but until then it's not really worth the headache of parsing through the mistakes and disjointedness.

Zethuron
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Apocalypse LitRPG without Fantasy

I first have to thank the author, for being able to create this sort of novel.

 

This novel features a unique combination of story elements, a Apocalypse system sci-fi without any Fantasy elements. And that makes this novel really great.

 

The villians, the Scourges are just so alien,  and do feel threatening through the story so far, with far more dangerous Scourges being hinted at.  On the other side, the system does seem well made, some sort of AI, but without actual consience, it requires other people to take decisions that require such.

 

The story so far has been interesting, developing enemies, restoration of  human civilization under the system. The way the characters act in the current apocalypse. All of this has been well done.

 

The grammar used in this novel has been overall constistent, with some mistakes here and there, but they do not hinder the reading experience at all.

Keep this on, you have created something truly special and i cant wait to see how this does develop.

 

Steve Moss
  • Overall Score

Excellent Alien Invasion Post Apocalyptic LitRPG

Well written and engaging story.  Recommended. 

Bjorn Dragonwing
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Weeeeeeeee (review titles dont matter!!!!)

Howdy, so first off i have really enjoyed it so far, incredibly excited for more!

Style: this is hard for me to judge, and seems mostly based on opinion, and I liked your style so... yeah

Story: So far, good, some nice foreshadowing of future events, the plot is advancing in mostly natural ways. Be careful of how well your mc does, as while it is entertaining and enjoyable to read you mentioned in the synopsis that he was average, which has not been the case.

Grammar: i sorta suck at jidging the other parts but not this one! As one of the other reviews said (quite harshly) there are errors, the main consistent one I notive is your misspelling of We're as Were, it messes up the flow of your story, which is really important in this case as We're is usually a word used in dialogue.

Character: You have done this alright, however some problems, biggest one in my opinion is Greta, i would suggest either adding more backstory for her, or changing her interactions majorly. Sheseems to be a ruthless mastermind that wants control of the city, yet her actions do not always fit with that. Though it may be my mistake in interpreting her actions. *Wittle SPOILERS Examples are how badly gaurded auvril(?) Was guarded, and then her appearence in the medical tent.

Alright, I hoped this helped, as that is what this was for, if it didnt or I messed up my critisicms please pm me. Other than that I am definitly looking forward to more!!

Skuzze
  • Overall Score

5/5 grammar reviewers are liars.

Bad usage of "your", "to/too", "were/we're" and "an/a" throughout the entire story.

Some random searches below to prove my point:

-

Chapter 1.3:

"your exactly still the same breed"

“None of us are volunteers if that's what your asking."

"The modern world left no place to run too."

"Could he kill some person even if it essentially forced him too?"

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Chapter 1.4:

“If you want our help your going to need offer something”

“your so out of your league it's hilarious”

"Planning like that is probably why your cowering ”

"Tie him too a mattress"

-

Chapter 1.6:

"and your surprised they can manage first-aid?”

"if your lucky”

“I don't pretend to know why your such an asshole,"

"Ambition if your dumb enough to fight."

"Good too know about though,"

“But if you have too ask, than don't bother.”

"They decided too just do that."

"all the way too the lobby"

-

Chapter 2.1:

"Less reassured too see a "

“I'm going too be too busy”

"he didn't want too."

your actually shit”

your back too being”

your really not a people person”

-

The majority of the chapters have similar mistakes, I only chose 4 random chapters to prove that the grammer isn't 5/5 like some of these fake reviews claim it to be.

There's a guy who found the majority of the errors in the early chapters but stopped doing it after chapter 1.3 because the author isn't reading comments. Check it out for yourselves.

oli0202
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This is an ok story but it does not seem to excel in anything, the characters are ok but not the strong point, the worldbuilding is ok but nothing special, humor is there but it's rare. I didn't really have any emotional reaction when reading this story, it's just bland and even after reading this up to 3.17 i can't think of anything that happened in this story that stood out to me. 

 

Grammar errors did not stand out to me so they may have gotten fixed or i may just be good at ignoring them, i read a lot of translated novels and barely notice errors anymore, i wish i could just remove grammar part of this review because i don't feel like i'm fit to review that part 

whoever
  • Overall Score

nice world building, but low quality writing

If you are interested in apocalypse litrpg stories, then this is a must read for the world-building, especially the unique and innovative mechanics used in it. The story is also not bad.

Sadly the writing does not match the ingenuity of the mechanics at all. The low quality of the writing make it quite an exhausting read and reading it as web-serial will not be fun unless the world you are burning with enough passion. Without enough passion for the story to have all the previous chapters memories or managing to be immersed into each chapter starting from the first line, the inconsistent ways to refer to characters alone will make you stop reading almost instantly when trying to resume reading later (like after waiting for the next chapter).

Rhythm
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DO YOU LIKE HUMANS KICKING ASS? DO YOU ENJOY A MAN FIGHTING AGAINST ALL THE ODDS? DO YOU LIKE BLOOD AND THUNDER? DERRICK THE RED HAS GOT YOU COVERED!

A grim dark Humanity FUCK YEAH! GAMELIT sci-fi post apocolytic world with a unique magic and setting. 

Its like cocaine. 

Style- Great. Long chapters, well done plots and storytelling. Creative enemies and abilites. Real danger and threat to every character. Author isn't afarid to cripple is main character for development and will keep you on the edge of your seat about it. 

Grammer- Haven't noticed any issues yet. For a native english speaker without an english degree i think this is fine. 

Story- Hooo boy, I love seeing humans fight and struggle and WIN. We are the top of the food chain currently, what if something came along we had NO CHANCE of beating but were told by an omnipresent being to try anyways, while it gave us some tools and help along the way. Well, i'd like to think we would stand up and fucking FIGHT. Thats exactly how humans act in this novel, granted, its mainly our good MC here, but its still great. Its so nice to see humans not just roll over and die. We are born fighters, its in our nature, all we knew before the 21st century was war and conflict. The Author seems to understand that. The scourges are unique and all come with different flavors and styles. The magic/ability system still confuses me a tiny but, but damn if it isn't neat. I imagine its supposed to be a little confusing, because lord knows, the characters sure as hell don't understand it. As of the latest chapter, I think 62? I'm finally starting to understand the difference between them. 

 

 

Character score- Motives, plots, a likeable Main character with Brains. The Author didn't fall for the trope of writing a character thats smarter than him, which is awesome. He makes mistakes, but also has some really good ideas and plans. The side cast is all fleshed out and well written with motives and plots as well. 


Overall- Read it. Its great. The magic system might confuse you but it starts to make sense later.