The Games we used to Play
I tried playing REALITY once, and it sucks! The server is unbalanced, you cant choose where to start or pick the race that you want, and if your unlucky you end up with your character being ugly or worse, being born in a poor family with a physical disability aswell. Feeling like other people are born with cheat codes and walkthroughs in life, the unfair situations, treated less as a human being, ostracized by others around you. I finally called it quits, i give up, throw in the towel, kick the bucket, Log-out.....
Just when i had finally resigned to my fate, tired of living, sadness, loneliness, my entire life flashing infront of my very eyes, darkness overshadowing me, and the ground quickly getting closer by the second. I closed my eyes, the wind blowing on my face, waiting for the curtains to fall on my pathetic-solo performance. I hear a familiar sound, coming from my tablet PC.
* tring! *
a notification huh? who could be sending me a message so early in the morning. Its not like i'd be able to read it anyway( currently i was free falling head first from the top of our school building )
My life ended on that uneventful day, or perhaps not. [ .....Loading..... ]
Follow the journey of a girl through the vast world, trying to find the meaning in life. Looking for any means to keep herself moving forward. Meeting others, will it finally heal her broken heart.
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I'll be honest. When I read the title, i thought the content would be more mushy. Well there's less mushy and more action and mature content. Mushy content caters better to my interests, but they are really hard to pull off. Other content which you've put, well i think you can find it a lot of it on royalroadl. The fiction is unique, i won't disagree with that. I'm only stating why I started reading this fiction in the previous lines, but here is my actual review below. I've read all the chapters currently released till chapter 21. Based on further releases, the review may change.
Style provides a readable format and with little imagination, any reader can understand the plot you're conveying. I don't really have much to give review on style, but it's good enough to read. Also your way of explaining events are in good direction but require more description.
So for style I've provided with 3.5 stars.
Again, I only started reading this fiction because I'm the sort of person who sometimes likes to cry for no reason. But this fiction has mature content and action which is found in other fictions, so other readers can need not be misguided by the picture or the title( chances are I was the only one who got confused).
Story does have an establishment and mystery appeal to it. It will keep you interested to see what happens with the plot rather than relationships b/w the mc and co characters.
For the story I've given 3 stars, i'm quite picky with most fictions.
Grammar is well, neither good nor bad. There are noticeable mistakes, but your sentences are well formed with few mistakes. You can ask someone to proofread it. It's readable for me and it won't affect others( unless you're a grammar nazi, not saying that's bad but some people are usually alright with the grammar provided here. But that may also end up in them not taking the story seriously).
So for grammar I've given 3.5 stars.
From most fictions I've read, this one provides a good understanding of the mc's personality. But since the story is quite fast paced and cliched, the character development doesn't go very well. MC with an understandable personality from the provided back-story.
Spoiler at this point: " advised to not read"
Yuri development doesn't mean I can let you off on easily making the first character fall in love with the MC.
For the character, I've given you 3 stars.
In case someone decides not to read this, please be aware that this was only one opinion from one reader. The story may be enjoyable to your tastes. Although it isn't suitable to mine, since I'm sort of a mushy person. I'll continue to read this story, because I enjoy certain parts as well.
Advice to the Author: Don't feel disheartened, if my review did do so. But now you know what type of idea the reader may get from the title. I'm quite strict with the reviews on stories. Your story could improve with better representation and maybe if the relationships with the characters were to be slow paced and felt more realistic. No need to hurry with chapters, take your time and if you feel a chapter wasn't good enough then take more time to rewrite it. You can do it in parts as well. Well that's all the advice I can provide currently. Thank you for your work.
It can be a bit confusing at times; but I really like the premise of the story. We see mostly men being the sociopathic killers but I really like the main character being a woman. :)