Beta Zero

The language, grammer, and story is fine.  It is well written.  Reading it however leaves you with a feeling of missing whole chapters.  There is so much missing story, and the pace moves so quick it is hard to keep up with.

From what I understand, I think it's better than before, but there's still a disconnect between our minds and the authors mind. He doesn't do a good job conveying information and by chapter 9 I have no idea etc is going on. It's rather frustrating tbh.

I only got 6 chapters in. Your story is very hard to follow. Honestly i thought the story would follow troy since you started from his prespective in the prologue but you switched to someone else. Your system is even worse. Things seem kind of jumbled together.

A simply written complex story that oddly reflects a realistic world view. This story is written like a zip format of missing yet compressed data, sure more could and should be added to, but you would not miss out so long as you read a few chapters at a time. This would make an awesome comic book.

Im like 13 chaps in and its good. Little to no grammar mistakes and story is good. First few chaps were a bit hard but i got through them. Only issue i have is MC trying to play hero and his naivety even after suffereing the consequences, yet not wising up and realizing he wont have another chance. His self destructive behavior, even if it’s out of his good naturedness, is not suitable for his situation and he will ultimately pay a price. It just doesnt seem realistic, atleast his reasons for constantly trying to help when it could potentially kill him. I hope he changes later, as im only on chap 13, so i will see.

Tldr: Enjoying the story just not MC. 

On of my favorite stories on this site. This story hooked me won't let go! Just masterful. Thankyou for making this story!!!! Seriously I don't usually review stories but I had to with this. Thank you!