My Bodyguard Can't Fight Girls!
by lemuelmoo
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
Clere Sigrun was a regular schoolgirl who was born into an extraordinary family of secrets. Her family safeguarded secrets and gathered intelligence throughout the world for authorities and organizations. One day, her mother informed that Clere was going to have a personal bodyguard because a criminal syndicate was out to kidnap her.
That bodyguard turned out to be Gale Gainsborough, a new mysterious transfer student in her school and he had a strange weakness where he becomes physically weak whenever he had to fight girls!
What would happen if the enemies were girls?
News snippet - 4th December 2019
Read my latest update: Tempus Fegit. It's already Feb!
Schedule Release Page: https://lemuelmoo.com/schedule-release/
Next Chapter Updates:
I have decided to reward all pre-released chapters at Patron. Updates will be bi-weekly as usual.
I have about 20 chapters ahead of the what is currently available but I have not done any proofreading or editing on them yet so they are not ready to be published. It will come speedily.
As we head to the wuxia portion of the novel, I have included my own glossary of terms here: Glossary of Terms
Release Schedule
This is my part-time gig, and I will be using much of the time to develop the story, get illustrations etc.
For the public:
- Once every 2 weeks, each update usually above 3000 words.
For Assassins (Patreon):
All updates will usually be made during office hours at Sat EST.
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- 36,630
- Average Views :
- 643
- Followers :
- 88
- Favorites :
- 35
- Ratings :
- 18
- Pages :
- 742
Leave a review
Personal opinion
For start this is my personal preference.
Read until chapter 3 and first paragrafes of chapter 4.
Lets start with the good points:
The story is good, really liked, the bodyguard is fun, the POV is really good, there is suspense to know whos is targeting her and why, the bodyguard is OP, the characters are not 2D. This was going to be the first story I would read with the point of view of a female, where the MC is a female....
Now I will start why I will not continue to read.
In the end hope you continue good work author-san, had fun but decided to stop
Peace.
Good story
Really loved it, i think you should keep going easy, take your time coming up with ideas, unless you already have a plan in mind, and write whenever you feel like it(or when the patrons donat to get a new chapter lol), there are some minor mistakes, like wrong spelling of a word or two, but still readable.
I think that you should also put a [Drama] genre, because of the scene in the prologue and all.
Keep at it!
The story is pretty interesting, I haven't seen any stories like this in awhile so it's kind of a nostalgia trip. The grammar and descriptions could use some work, but it's pretty early so keep it up!!
Good Start
Firstly I do want to say that I do like the concept so any critisim is purely in order to improve your story!
The style and grammar I'll talk about in this paragraph. I just want to say I have no issues with the style you have gone for I just find it's lacking in descriptive moments what I mean is I still don't know the surrounding setting, uniforms, weapons etc. I'm one of those people that's all for a bit of descriptive writing for fictional stories as I can engross myself in the world, the style you write in does make the story readable I just think you can bring more with just fleshing out your setting a bit more. As for your grammar I did notice issues here and there, we all do it so I suggest you proofread yourself or if your not comfortable in getting it right ask a friend or family member.
As for the story I like those type of military academy/school genres (granted I'm doing the exact same genre in my story) so I have no qualms with that front, but like a mentioned previously the story will benefit a lot with some descriptive writing here and there.
Finally I got to say I like your characters especially Gale and Clere as they do seem to have an interested relationship with one another and one that I hope expands and develops well in future characters. As for the other characters there's not really much I can say as I need more to make an opinion on them, except I agree with myself on the fact that Satori is one of those b***h's I hate in these types of stories haha!
Anyway keep up the good work, and I hope to see more from you!