エッセンス (Essence)

by ArcanePunkster

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

The year is 2042, 15 years ago, the Earth experienced a cataclysmic event that resulted in the invasion of an extraterrestrial species known as the Nebula. In response to this threat, countries around the world brought their resources together to create Familiars and Coordinators to combat the ever-rising threat of the Nebulae.

An original light novel/manga concept in the making. Contains mostly Yuri sexual content.

I want to credit phasmonyc for the cover art. She works through Medibang, and she's a member of RoyalRoadl

Volume One Complete

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
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  • Total Views :
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  • Average Views :
  • 1,151
  • Followers :
  • 102
  • Favorites :
  • 20
  • Ratings :
  • 23
  • Pages :
  • 205
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Author
ArcanePunkster

ArcanePunkster

Achievements
20 Comments
Word Count (VIII)
25,000 Views
100 Followers
5 Review Upvotes
Fledgling Reviewer (III)
3rd Anniversary
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Volume One | Chapter - New Beginnings ago
Volume One | Chapter - The Phantom Queen ago
Volume One | Chapter - Thank You Pt. One ago
Volume One | Chapter - Thank You Pt. Two ago
Volume One | Chapter - Thank You Pt. Three ago
Volume One | Chapter - Third Nebula Invasion Pt. One ago
Volume One | Chapter - Third Nebula Invasion Pt. Two ago
Volume One | Chapter - Third Nebula Invasion Pt. Three ago
Volume One | Chapter - Quiet Before The Storm Pt. One ago
Volume One | Chapter - Quiet Before The Storm Pt. Two ago
Volume One | Chapter - Unexpected Arrival ago
Volume One | Chapter - Revelation Part One ago
Volume One | Chapter - Revelation Part Two ago
Volume One | Chapter - Revelation Part Three ago
Volume One | Chapter - Aftermath Part One ago
Volume One | Chapter - Aftermath Part Two ago
Extra - 1 ago
Volume Two | Chapter - The Beast Part One ago
Volume Two | Chapter - The Beast Part Two ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Royale Preliminaries Part One ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Royale Preliminaries Part Two ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Royale Preliminaries Part Three ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Royale Preliminaries Part Four ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Royale Preliminaries Part Five ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Royale Preliminaries Part Six ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Summer Beach House Part One ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Summer Beach House Part Two ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Summer Beach House Part Three ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Summer Beach House Part Four ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Sun, Sex and...Bootcamp?! Part One ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Sun, Sex and...Bootcamp?! Part Two ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Sun, Sex and...Bootcamp?! Part Three ago
Volume Two | Chapter - Sun, Sex and...Bootcamp?! Part Four ago
Volume Two | Skirmish At Okinawa - Part One ago
Continuation ago

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Reviews
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lemuelmoo
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Background explanations for better story-telling

I like your style of writing as it is comfortable to read. You can describe your characters and scenes well.
 
However I couldn’t understand some of the terms you use, like what exactly are Coordinators? Essence Armaments? Spiritual Link? After reading some time I get the gist of what are these terms, but I wasn’t sure. I think a little background story-telling with some of these terms are needed as I was kind of lost when everything happened and I have to re-read it a couple of times.
 
Outside of that, your characters are okay. I presume that your setting is in a school so there are a multitude of characters to work with, however it will be nice to focus on a few so that I will know that character better. Overall you try to portray your characters with human interactions and I think it's a plus.
 
Onch
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This story is all right, althought it has a few flaws. First of all, the grammar is a bit spotty at times, and some punctuation is missing. But it doesn't detract from the reading experience.

The plot and the characters are okay, but they feel a bit cliché at time. Also the author dumps terms like Coordinators without any in-story explanation. The reader can understand what they are as they go through the chapters, but I feel like it would be better if the terms were explained as soon as they are introduced instead of a separate "Reference" chapter.

To conclude, I'll say that this is a good example of its genre, so you should definitely give it a go!

Heaven Dream
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Nice work. Keep it up.

You have a lot of words inside a single chapter. It's nice, compared to others, but personally, I think you must cut down the chapters. A chapter with 2000+ words will suffice. 

You just need some minor proofreading and you're all set. Just keep up the good work.

Sorry for the late review, I am quite busy with some matters.

 

Thanks!

Invayne
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Like the title says its pretty good! Just needs a few touch-ups from the author. 

There is an application called Grammarly which is what I use to help quickly edit what I'm writing it is a must-have for me.

Zatch
Overall

Seems like he copied the base abilities from the manga/anime series Freezing

Kazushi Tetsuo
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

 The story is interesting, as are the characters. The grammar could use some work, and some chapters seem quite long. A little more explanation of things inside the story would be great as well. So far so good though, keep it up!