Behold, Journal, the culmination of several days of trying to recover found-but-damaged-papers. I did manage to keep up individual pages for the previous days, but recovery is more important. Probably.

As I write this, not all of the pages have seen my eye, so I may be premature in celebrating the recovery of lost days. Well, if nothing else, the first few days were mostly good.

For the day of 1/30, I had the first real battle of my career. I did not recognize the demon then, and still have little clue now. There was nothing memorable about it and that showed me the grand power of the knight armor Linorm. I think I described it in much more glowing terms then, but I can’t quite recall what words I used.

Then I believed it to be the largest of all of them; now I merely think it as the most brute-ish. Twenty feet tall, gorilla-wide, it glimmers like false gold, and it has as weapons a long spike-tail and an axe blade out of the almost spherical right hand it has. I think I described the features it had as finely made but scant.

There is just the suggestion of a human-like face now that I think of it. Of course, I haven’t seen it again to refresh my memory. I believe it is en-route to the purchasing nation’s army yards.

I had 2/1 as a training day, but it was honestly more of a meet-and-greet day because of the absence of enough knight armors. The one I complained about the day after was actually the armor assigned to Ike.

I still don’t know the name for certain, but I believe it has the name ‘Hofut’ or something like that. Very angular like some dueling dandy in full finery. The swords it have are thick enough to be a small spear and a large spear, yet the base staff insist that it has two swords.

I think I noted that Ike wasn’t that appreciative of my jokes of it having one and him the other. I still think he was embarrassed that I wasn’t quiet about it with Jeri in earshot. Most of the pre-practice stuff was lost, and I don’t remember a lot of it.

Going from a masculine armor to a feminine one was very tiring back then, and has become only a little better now.

I do, though, remember that the Hofut was not for me. The swords were too big for me to use them like swords and too flexible to use like spears. Oh, yes. I think I put down a description of it in the original pages. I mentioned the height, look, and weapons above, it’s pure white, and I can not think of anything else that I remembered about it.

It has a face, like all the other armors I’ve seen so far, but I couldn’t describe it to anyone even if death was on the line.

Jeri’s armor was called Nyx. I liked Nyx. It had cannons and that the workers called mere guns. Fools. Mere guns could not match that world shaking sound. It was also much more human than the Linorm, despite the even more ape-like arms.

I’d wager it was both the less rounded body shape as well as the rather cheeky attempt to ‘clothe’ with black paint. Any battle would strip most or all of that ‘clothing’ from the frame, so I don’t envy the ones that keep trying to give it clothes.

The arms also did well in the test fight at keeping a ‘demon’ away from me.

Despite my best attempts most of the rest of that day escape me. I know I made some kind of comment about suddenly being a succubus that got explained away as a joke and then came the stream of faux-magical terminology that they used to explain why I could use both positive and negatively charged armors.

I still don’t remember it all and don’t care to.

I would prefer to remember how Ike and Jeri reacted to my change, but I was too tired. All I can remember is that it was far more entertaining than I’d ever expected to see. But again, this world’s legends (legends!) of succubi and incubi are quite different from the truth of me.

Oh, and for some reason, I’m getting sent to the last years of mandatory schooling as cover. Or I think. I haven't really looked up too much on where that wonder ends.



Today I discovered two important things. One is that somebody on the staff has a sense of humor. And didn’t share that with me. Ike’s name is not Ike; it is Harold. Ike is apparently some reference to a joke about some story. A lord with two swords or something. I didn’t really pay that much attention to the quick explanation, instead wondering if my code name was also a similar reference.

Jeri’s probably was, considering the speed with which she approached me and mentioned her actual name. Presumably she also did the same to Harold. In a better run organization, I’d have been angry about the breach of rules.

But it’s unlikely that anyone knew about, much less instituted the code names seeking to avoid name based magics, so I’m at a loss.

The second discovery I was shown was that the small miracles called smart phones can record both sound and sight. I’ve a great deal of use for both, although I’m unable to record at all times, sadly.

Both for reasons of batteries, but also because of rules about recording things in public. The first can apparently be fixed with portable chargers. The second, well, I still have my memory and a fast hand at writing in condensed form.

I didn’t have much happen today to put my phone to work at aiding these entries, but that’s fine. Something’s going to happen and it’ll be of such benefit then.



I have to say, the education system of this world is an amazing thing. Being able to teach not only the highest branches of maths to people whose jobs may never need them is amazing but the building and the verification of other branches of maths I’ve never even heard of is perhaps even more amazing.

That I could have an age to study those things and KNOW.

Yet another day of little happening. Harold and Jeri seem to be asking the wrong kinds of questions about me. The last two of the ‘to be kept’ knight armors are just starting production, and I was unable to participate in the demon attack.

I believe that this one was one of the higher ranking, but less martially adept demons because despite the lack of attention from the demon, I was unable to actually leave the detached building that served as changing rooms while my fellow pilots had to do some trickery to get the knight armors out of the silos to attack.

Perhaps one of the ascended sons or daughters of a greater demon? The way that information is kept under lock and key here would impress the most miserly of gods and demons if it weren’t so uneven.

I can find plans for the Martian and Adante, but getting anything more than ‘we were attacked by a demon today’ has been about as enjoyable as milking a rukh’s claws. Admittedly, far less dangerous to my person, but about as enjoyable despite that.

I think I’ll ask Harold and Jeri about something enjoyable to do when we meet tomorrow. I’m going to need it if the keeps up.



So, yesterday, I found out that my transformation was somehow kept a secret from the people in the labs. The people who, as far as I can tell, literally have a job where they are supposed to be monitoring physical health, mental health, and (though they don’t know it) magical health for each of the pilots. They also have some work with the raw number crunching on the knight armors.

But getting back to my current source of great surprise. Apparently, nobody in the labs was given the slightest hint that my change could happen under circumstances other than enter golem, turn it on. (I say golem in this case because I have been used to test the unfinished knight armors and ensure things are working. Also to get on record if what kind of charge they have. And unfinished, a knight armor ranges from a particularly ugly doric golem to aegyptos golem in terms of comparative appearance.)

As a result instead of actually getting to do some kind of team bonding thing while there was an unplanned long week end, I got to get poked, prodded, tested, and got to practice the strangest version of the birds and the bees for young succubi and incubi ever.

My master would have found humor in these days and also would have liked how I found out that a penny ante succubus trick for fashion could be used as birth control. I would have liked to have my phone on hand to record the conversation because of all the medical stuff I knew nothing about, but that’s secondary.

Apparently the flush, maintained properly, will do some kind of hormone regulation that leads to greatly suppressed fertility. I’m going to have to read up on this stealthily, as I get the feeling that this would be another one of those questions or gaps in knowledge that makes me look like I’m from the hinterlands of the worlds.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the recording smartphone conversation that started that. It was, of all things, milk. I mostly managed to save myself by quickly turning it about the quality of the milk rather than my actual surprise at how available the stuff was, but it was quite close.

I would go so far as to offer, at least here in secret, most of the credit to others, classmates whose names I didn’t really remember except when I had to.

Back then, I wish I had the opportunity to have backed up the idea even further; perhaps with something ‘Ike’ and Jeri making an assertion that money to get out of crushing poverty was why I volunteered for the job I had.

Of course, that wouldn’t have made sense until I attended class female (but in a male uniform) once, had revealed the change to my fellow pilots, and also had the ‘official’ story for my background told to me.

It’s surprising how long it took for that to be passed to me. They apparently thought that my name would give me a hint through the dream teaching. Nuance such as that is not going to get through anything but the most explicit of dream teaching, and possibly not even then when for my culture it’s mostly man’s name. Of course, we’re something of a small culture within a greater one that considers it a unisex name, perfectly valid for men and women. Although the next royal child is definitely going to sway that.

But that’s fine. It gives me some freedom, a few jokes, and the opportunity to try and figure out sexual mores without seeming as ignorant. Here my changes is a thing that just flat out doesn’t happen twice or more a day to a single person.

Back home, well, incubi and succubi are known and that’s been a thing that’s changed mores over the centuries and probably also more immediately. I am not that much of a historian.

Unless I can re-rail my plans, I’m going to be spending tomorrow reading up on medicine and probably being under-amazed because there’s too much I can’t understand.


I have somehow managed to perform both choices I mentioned yesterday. It seems that all the pilots ended up in the same place, same time, similar reasons, and so on down the line. There was not nearly as much connection as I’d wanted but getting any done is fine.

I had the reason for why I kept on switching knight armors, she had a bit more understanding of the medicine, and he had the better group skills than I did. Much as I hate to admit it, Harold was a more charismatic person than I.

On the other hand, he’s also terminally weak to risque jokes. My offer to equalize things made him blush hard enough to set Jeri laughing, and really it was all down hills from there. With any luck, he’ll never have to fight against one of the lewder demons.

Of course, the overload and crossload short problems put a damper on their good moods. Jeri didn’t make a thirst joke, or even an earthy comment when I tried to push the upsides of size enhancement, health benefits if you can rest, and impressive issue.

That last one might have just gone over both their heads, but by the time I could have considered that, I was already suiting up to fight in Nyx. And in that case, it had seemed to fall under the heading ‘definitely a not good idea to attempt’.

Ultimately, it was a false alarm, magic building almost to the heights needed to rip open a portal but not reaching over. If I weren’t available, then it would have made a good tactic. The waiting and the flood of magic from the collapsing portal would have, in a few more attempts, hospitalized one or both of the pilots.

I wondered how long I would stay a secret. (As of finishing this journal’s pages, the answer is ‘still seems to be a secret’. More people helped keep it.)

Harold was a little disappointed by my sudden masculinization. It may be because the flood of magic gave me a fleeting increase in size. It was probably something else I’m not thinking of now.

Jeri at least liked how none of my clothes fit right for a few hours. It made for a few jokes at Harold’s expense that she enjoyed. Mostly, I’m guessing, because Harold didn’t make a proper rejoinder or even an attempt at a response.

C’mon Harold! The obvious responses are easy to see, like my tits would be if I had been in your knight armor. Literally no effort there and it’s still better than your non-response would have been.

Later this night, I fear I will make a horrible blood oath with Jeri to get the stick out of Harold’s ass.


2/15 Addition

I basically did.


The demons again waste time. Unlike the last time, this one wasted nearly the whole of the day and almost to the middle of night. It greatly indebted both Jeri and I to Harold, because he was actually able to do his assignments and we (to different degrees) took notes from him.

In short, fuck the demons. My ass is sore from sitting in a seat not made for me, changing more and more while sitting in said seat, and


Making me so tired that I can’t remember the rest of my sentences.

I will hope for an easy class in the morning, that I may recover more.




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