The Genesis System
Genesis. It is the end of countless stories. The end of thousands of universes, billions of planets, and trillions of lives. But what is taken may also be given, as shown in the story of Cael King. A young man of Earth, knowing only a life of study and work in the relentless and endless pursuit of satisfaction. This is the origin of his story.
Inspired by the system used in The Legend of Randid.ly Ghosthound. The system is an homage but the characters, world, and story are unique. I will post as often as I can and, given that I am not starting work until July, that should be pretty frequently. If you have any suggestions or comments please feel free to leave them as this is my first story and I'd love to improve both it and my writing style.
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I got 48 chapters in before I gave up. My issues are that while the setting is interesting, the characterizations are disjointed and difficult to reconcile. The characters go through extremes of emotion at the drop of a hat and recover just a quickly. Many characters lack their own "voice" and even the main character suffers from inconsistencies in their presentation.
The author was inspired by The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound and does a good job of establishing his own world. Give this story a read if you are looking at something in that genre and character buliding isn't something you are hung up on.
The first fourty chapters are a pretty good grindy litrpg but once he comes back to earth things go downhill rapidly. It's been only fifteen days and yet everyone seems to have adapted and installed dictators. There is a stupid subplot about people hating and fearful of randomly selected people (which he is), stupid character motivations, bad mistakes (lying to his parents when they will find out in several days) and bad dialogue, along with several boring choices plot choices. 8 earth chapters convinced me to drop this story because they were so bad and bland.
The story was playing out rather nicely and the characters started to flesh out. The normal power creep started to go out of control which then led to plotholes and then logic the story used was twisted to forcefully reign in the main character's power. The author justified the MC's restraints as symbolism for something or other and just couldn't bring myself to care anymore.
So, this book has basically two people in it the whole time I could stomach it. In fact, most of that time it has a total of one person. So, this book is all about leveling and training and has almost no dialog at all. The dialog that is there sounds like me smash you hard if no listen, dweeb.
If you love just reading endless training and stat increases this is the book for you. If you want a story, the guy never started one that I could tell.
This is well written, and while certainly this type of story has been done before, it is being done well here, and with enough originality that I can't wait to see where the author is going. Thanks and good luck on your journey.
Edit: Having read a bit more, this is becoming one of my favorite stories period on Royal Road. Always keep us guessing :)
This is a well written story that brings a sense of enjoyment to the reader like a good story should. Some inspiration has been taken from The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound in the term of paths, but nobody ever said an idea of paths was solely only allowed to be used by that story. It fits well with this story, and the original content is definitely there.
The story itself is interesting, but nothing new to royalroad. At this point in time, originality is really hard to come by, so it is up to the author to make their story enjoyable. They could write the most cliche story, but if they add new things and put twists in there, it will leave the reader satisfied. Gensis does just this. An MC being stuck in a dungeon and having to power level with a game interface and classes in a world of magic+monsters after being transmigrated is nothing new. However, the presentation and little twists make the story just so enjoyable.
I really wish this story had been going on for a year or so just to have that huge stockpile of chapters I would be able to dive right into, but believe me when I say that I will closely follow this one. It looks like it'll only get better.
So, once our MC came back from his dungeon world and arrived to Earth, things got a bit eh with the story. It seemed like it was going to become kind of boring because Cael was acting rather stupid. However, it seems like the author intentionally made it so and is progressing his character with the new realizations of the MC.
The story seems like it will be going in a very good direction, and may hit a five star mark, but for now and how so so the story is compared to before, I'm just going to keep a closer eye on it to see how it does. The recent introduction of future characters was rather generic, but we'll see how that ends up going.
The story is definitely worth a read.
the story is rushed and the characters don't really have any depth to them.
About 60% of the story is just skills and status screens and stops me getting into the story.
The main character has severe personality changes where he goes from a warrior one second to a useless baby the next who gets annoyed at someone breathing to loudly (not an actual example but i wouldn't be surprised)
A well rounded story, even if on Hiatus. However, like most stories, it is sadly not perfect. While I enjoy the system, it seems far too complicated too properly work, and I dislike how random people have knowledge of him, right out of the gate.
The grammar is above average for a novice writter, however nowhere near what a published book from a well-seasoned author would look like.
The Skill System is far too amobugous, and not defined anywhere near enougj, mainly because any random action can cause a skill, and yet he doesn't have skills like butchery, cooking, or tailoring (Unless he went a year naked?)
Overall, I found Arc 1 particularly enjoyable, and Arc 2 very subpar, I for everyone to try it if they enjoyed Arc 1 - or mentally unbalance characterizations
The universe Profound has built is truly intriguing and has so much potential I could see a lot of side stories being brought to life around it. To me this is the strongest point about this fiction. The little epitets at the beggining of the chapters make me extremely curious about this universe, wanting to know more in depth about its inhabitants.
The author has clearly evolved throught writing the fiction, his ability to use grand descriptions vastly improved from the beggining of the story.
Grammar-wise I have no complaints but I don't usually pay attention to that unless its something really grotesque since I'm not a native speaker.
The one downside for me is just how bland the MC is. To me he is the weakest point in the story. He has some personality and a sense of moral compass but I just can't really connect to him. He feels like an object created to convey what the author feels are the best choices in a given situation, not an organic individual. The best way I can describe it is as if thr author is is playing the character like a video game, which limits the organic expression of him.
Overall though incredible story. Would recommend to anyone interested in LitRPG like Ghosthound and ELLC.
This review was written by myself after I had read the entire available chapters (93), so it is with this in mind that I write this.
It is completely in a league of it's own in the capacity it has to tear itself away from the stigma of a genre known as litRPGs. LitRPGS in general tend to be very geared to the japanese way of writing in very short yet not entirely concise methods that arise from the failings of translation. Having works that progress at breakneck speeds without giving the reader the true experience of the work itself. The author, ProfoundMagician, whom I will refer to as Profound has created a way to give the characters enough detail that they aren't always impactful yet never unnecessary.
While plot is phneominal, I sometimes wince in the melodramatic character development that plays out in the 90+ chapters so far. Characters tend to take the more "dramatic" and "stimulating" responses which leave them little to no room to grow. It's similar to drowning a plant in too much water. There has to be a balance drawn in how much drama they can create. Too much and you get a predictability that the characters will always pick the most extreme or controversial choice. Too little and well no real story.
I would love to see this work continue to grow and with it the style of Profound's writing but as stated right before the 93 chapter, the author has other things cropping up. I won't lie it took me the better part of my saturday to entirely read the 93 chapters, no skimming or anything of the sort. But a thorough and in depth read that had me backtracking to make sure I could produce the best review possible.
While what most of this review may seem as attacks on the author, they are just my personal opinions and do nothing to take away from how skilled Profound is in his writing abilities. Most people may think that I have something against the Japanese derived litRPG genre, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Seeing as I am an editor and translator for those kind of works, that handles them on daily basis. While I see this story being truly amazing the one flaw that I would have to say is concerning is the fact that the arcs have no discernable end except for when the MC leaves his "starting zone" the figurative Tutorial Island.