The Genesis System
Genesis. It is the end of countless stories. The end of thousands of universes, billions of planets, and trillions of lives. But what is taken may also be given, as shown in the story of Cael King. A young man of Earth, knowing only a life of study and work in the relentless and endless pursuit of satisfaction. This is the origin of his story.
Inspired by the system used in The Legend of Randid.ly Ghosthound. The system is an homage but the characters, world, and story are unique. I will post as often as I can and, given that I am not starting work until July, that should be pretty frequently. If you have any suggestions or comments please feel free to leave them as this is my first story and I'd love to improve both it and my writing style.
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So, this book has basically two people in it the whole time I could stomach it. In fact, most of that time it has a total of one person. So, this book is all about leveling and training and has almost no dialog at all. The dialog that is there sounds like me smash you hard if no listen, dweeb.
If you love just reading endless training and stat increases this is the book for you. If you want a story, the guy never started one that I could tell.
I got 48 chapters in before I gave up. My issues are that while the setting is interesting, the characterizations are disjointed and difficult to reconcile. The characters go through extremes of emotion at the drop of a hat and recover just a quickly. Many characters lack their own "voice" and even the main character suffers from inconsistencies in their presentation.
The author was inspired by The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound and does a good job of establishing his own world. Give this story a read if you are looking at something in that genre and character buliding isn't something you are hung up on.
The first fourty chapters are a pretty good grindy litrpg but once he comes back to earth things go downhill rapidly. It's been only fifteen days and yet everyone seems to have adapted and installed dictators. There is a stupid subplot about people hating and fearful of randomly selected people (which he is), stupid character motivations, bad mistakes (lying to his parents when they will find out in several days) and bad dialogue, along with several boring choices plot choices. 8 earth chapters convinced me to drop this story because they were so bad and bland.
The story was playing out rather nicely and the characters started to flesh out. The normal power creep started to go out of control which then led to plotholes and then logic the story used was twisted to forcefully reign in the main character's power. The author justified the MC's restraints as symbolism for something or other and just couldn't bring myself to care anymore.
This is well written, and while certainly this type of story has been done before, it is being done well here, and with enough originality that I can't wait to see where the author is going. Thanks and good luck on your journey.
Edit: Having read a bit more, this is becoming one of my favorite stories period on Royal Road. Always keep us guessing :)
This is a well written story that brings a sense of enjoyment to the reader like a good story should. Some inspiration has been taken from The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound in the term of paths, but nobody ever said an idea of paths was solely only allowed to be used by that story. It fits well with this story, and the original content is definitely there.
The story itself is interesting, but nothing new to royalroad. At this point in time, originality is really hard to come by, so it is up to the author to make their story enjoyable. They could write the most cliche story, but if they add new things and put twists in there, it will leave the reader satisfied. Gensis does just this. An MC being stuck in a dungeon and having to power level with a game interface and classes in a world of magic+monsters after being transmigrated is nothing new. However, the presentation and little twists make the story just so enjoyable.
I really wish this story had been going on for a year or so just to have that huge stockpile of chapters I would be able to dive right into, but believe me when I say that I will closely follow this one. It looks like it'll only get better.
So, once our MC came back from his dungeon world and arrived to Earth, things got a bit eh with the story. It seemed like it was going to become kind of boring because Cael was acting rather stupid. However, it seems like the author intentionally made it so and is progressing his character with the new realizations of the MC.
The story seems like it will be going in a very good direction, and may hit a five star mark, but for now and how so so the story is compared to before, I'm just going to keep a closer eye on it to see how it does. The recent introduction of future characters was rather generic, but we'll see how that ends up going.
The story is definitely worth a read.
the story is rushed and the characters don't really have any depth to them.
About 60% of the story is just skills and status screens and stops me getting into the story.
The main character has severe personality changes where he goes from a warrior one second to a useless baby the next who gets annoyed at someone breathing to loudly (not an actual example but i wouldn't be surprised)
Although there are some similarities between the system of attributes, skills, and ways (paths) in this story and the obscurely complex system of the well-known Randidly Ghosthound, the current protagonist has a very different personality (and, frankly, a much more likeable one). This gives the present story a sufficiently original flavour.
I also like the way in which increasing an attribute in this story has immediately perceptible effects whereas in RG the effects are frustratingly diffuse.
Confession: I began this story with misgivings and yet by chapter 5 was addicted. The author has the rare gift of storytelling.
This brings us to style. The author uses the sustained first person present tense. Generally speaking, the sustained use of present tense is a disaster, usually perpetrated by over-ambitious undergraduates to the despair of their teachers, who may find it difficult to grade their essays without sips of a malted strengthening agent. However, the present author manages to avoid the awkwardnesses that bedevil the present-tense style, a remarkable feat for which he deserves congratulations even as we quirk our eyebrows at his choice.
Finally, I love the author’s intelligent use of epigraphs. The 20th century’s greatest writer of English prose, Jack Vance, was a master of the epigraph — to such an extent that Baron Bodissey, a character known only via quotations from his Encyclopedia, became for many readers a favourite. I shall look forward to the clever world-building of the epigraphs.
I've been Randidled Gashoop for the last time.
Since I have read the bare minimum of required chapters to review this story (78) I feel that I can finally talk about it. Following this paragraph I will be breaking down my thoughts on each subject that RoyalRoad has for reviews. I hope you enjoy.
The style of the story is uninteresting. It isn't something that draws in the reader, or just catches the attention in general. Safe is what I would call it, but you need to add even a little bit of salt so it's not bland.
1.5 Quivering stars
There's honestly not much to say about the grammar. For the most part it's good, but a proofreader would be appreciated. Grammar mistakes are in every chapter, however, the grammar is fine for the most part.
2.5 Solid stars
Story is another lacking aspect in this novel. This is the same LitRPG story I've seen tens of times before, however, I am a LitRPG fanboy so that's ok with me. But that doesn't mean it's ok to lack a spark of author originality. As it currently stands this story feels like any other LitRPG, and it isn't even exploring tropes in the genre.
The excerpts at the beginning of the chapters are also a problem, as they are a lazy way for the author to tell you about the world without integrating into the story. I realize that many authors build these massive universes that they want to talk about and share, but just taking this information and inserting them as excerpts is not the way to go.
However, I do see aspects of a good story if there ever is a rewrite.
2 Unbalanced stars
This is the main drawback of the whole affair. All of the characters are flat, their changes don't feel deserved as there is almost nothing shown in the story as to why they would change. The Helldarvin arc is a great example of this as there is almost no struggle shown, and this makes the changes of the MC not seem natural.
Another problem is the panic attack he has early on. Why even have those when they get tossed aside incredibly quickly? Mental illness isn’t something that should be mentioned and then just thrown aside like it’s nothing.
I fully recognize that struggle isn't only physical, but not even mental struggle is shown. Another problem with the story is the lack of any real political discourse going on. There is no mention as to what the plans are for rebuilding the city, rooting out damaging parts like the criminals, or even how the citizens feel. The fact that the author tells us the citizens are dissatisfied means nothing when we can't see it for ourselves.
A lot of problems in this story just stem from the fact that most of the conflict isn’t shown, and only the aftermath is what the reader gets to see. I would’ve liked to see him really struggle on Helldarvin. Show him really trying to survive for at least a few days, and how hard it is only for then Berserker man shows up.
I honestly can't give the characters much.
1 Cracked star
The final result is is a story with a current value of 2 unbalanced stars. I hope this doesn't deter you from writing, but I had to give my honest review.
Now this i a good story all thing's considered,heck i was loving it all the way up to when he returned to earth, then his commons sense dropped a few points, he wears his emotions on his sleeves like no man's business crying and raging for all the sadness and injustice of the world, then there is the repetitive beating his head in for every "hard" decision he has to make, when we all know that in the end he's just going to do it anyway, he just keeps having the same internal dialogue over and over again till we wait for him to come to his grand epiphany "cael understood what he had to do now,it all made sense as he was one with the world and the world was one with him blah blah blah" ,then he proceeds to make the" hard " choice and starts shedding tears in the midst of the battle so that everyone can know how difficult and emotional all this has been for him and that's he's not really a monster but the bleeding heart saviour that carries the world on his shoulders😑 ...nobody said you shouldn't cry mate but save it for when your in polite company or preferably alone and not in semi hostile territory.
World building is nice , heck even the characters are okay but it's just not the story for everyone.so give it a shot, you may just like it.