The Genesis System

by ProfoundMagician

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Genesis. It is the end of countless stories. The end of thousands of universes, billions of planets, and trillions of lives. But what is taken may also be given, as shown in the story of Cael King. A young man of Earth, knowing only a life of study and work in the relentless and endless pursuit of satisfaction. This is the origin of his story.

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Inspired by the system used in The Legend of Randid.ly Ghosthound. The system is an homage but the characters, world, and story are unique. I will post as often as I can and, given that I am not starting work until July, that should be pretty frequently. If you have any suggestions or comments please feel free to leave them as this is my first story and I'd love to improve both it and my writing style.

This is my Patreon. Please join if you'd like to read a few chapters ahead and be part of an interactive community

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ProfoundMagician

ProfoundMagician

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 ago
Chapter 2 ago
Chapter 3 ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
Chapter 9 ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Interlude 1 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Chapter 16 ago
Interlude 2 ago
Chapter 17 ago
Chapter 18 ago
Chapter 19 ago
Chapter 20 ago
Chapter 21 ago
Chapter 22 ago
Interlude 3 ago
Chapter 23 ago
Chapter 24 ago
Chapter 25 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Interlude 4 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
Chapter 38 ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chapter 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Chapter 56 ago
Chapter 57 ago
Chapter 58 ago
Chapter 59 ago
Chapter 60 ago
Chapter 61 ago
Chapter 62 ago
Chapter 63 ago
Chapter 64 - Metal and Ink ago
Chapter 65 - Past and Present ago
Chapter 66 ago
Chapter 67 - The Return ago
Chapter 68 - Two Beginnings ago
Chapter 69 - Two Journeys ago
Chapter 70 ago
Chapter 71 - One Ending ago
Chapter 72 ago
Chapter 73 - The World and Universe Beyond ago
Chapter 74 - Friendship and Recovery ago
Chapter 75 - Decisions and Growth ago
Chapter 76 - Training Squared ago
Chapter 77 ago
Chapter 78 - An Economy Grows ago
Chapter 79 - The Expedition ago
Chapter 80 - Recovery ago
Chapter 81 - Stories ago
Chapter 82 - The School ago
Chapter 83 - The Academy ago
Chapter 84 ago
Chapter 85 - Trial of Justice ago
Chapter 86 - Confrontation ago
Chapter 87 - Putting A Team Together? ago
Chapter 88 - Manipulation ago
Chapter 89 - The Conflict ago
Chapter 90 - Sacrifices ago
Chapter 91 ago
Chapter 92 - Emotions ago
Author Update ago
Chapter 93 - Heat ago
Chapter 94 - The Final Trial ago
Chapter 95 - A Bear, Some Blood, and Fire ago
Chapter 96 - Recovery ago
Chapter 97 - Disruption ago
Chapter 98 ago
Chapter 99 - The Primus Battle Begins ago
Chapter 100 - The End of Book One ago
Chapter 101 ago
Chapter 102 - Loyalty ago
Chapter 103 - The Market ago
Chapter 104 - The Goal ago
Chapter 105 - Time Heals All Wounds ago
Chapter 106 ago
Chapter 107 ago
Chapter 108 ago
The Post I Never Wanted To Make - Taking A Step Back ago
The Past Two Years ago

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crpgnut
Overall

No story really, just training and leveling

So, this book has basically two people in it the whole time I could stomach it. In fact, most of that time it has a total of one person. So, this book is all about leveling and training and has almost no dialog at all. The dialog that is there sounds like me smash you hard if no listen, dweeb.

If you love just reading endless training and stat increases this is the book for you. If you want a story, the guy never started one that I could tell.

 

WednesdaysJest
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I got 48 chapters in before I gave up.  My issues are that while the setting is interesting, the characterizations are disjointed and difficult to reconcile.  The characters go through extremes of emotion at the drop of a hat and recover just a quickly.  Many characters lack their own "voice" and even the main character suffers from inconsistencies in their presentation. 

The author was inspired by The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound and does a good job of establishing his own world.  Give this story a read if you are looking at something in that genre and character buliding isn't something you are hung up on.

Daniel Vickerman
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Turned bad very quickly after the return to earth.

The first fourty chapters are a pretty good grindy litrpg but once he comes back to earth things go downhill rapidly. It's been only fifteen days and yet everyone seems to have adapted and installed dictators. There is a stupid subplot about people hating and fearful of randomly selected people (which he is), stupid character motivations, bad mistakes (lying to his parents when they will find out in several days) and bad dialogue, along with several boring choices plot choices. 8 earth chapters convinced me to drop this story because they were so bad and bland. 

Misery's End
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Interesting, but to much plot armor.

The story was playing out rather nicely and the characters started to flesh out. The normal power creep started to go out of control which then led to plotholes and then logic the story used was twisted to forcefully reign in the main character's power. The author justified the MC's restraints as symbolism for something or other and just couldn't bring myself to care anymore. 

Ringostrauss
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Only downside is the writer just started.

This is well written, and while certainly this type of story has been done before, it is being done well here, and with enough originality that I can't wait to see where the author is going.  Thanks and good luck on your journey.

Edit: Having read a bit more, this is becoming one of my favorite stories period on Royal Road. Always keep us guessing :)

DrSupbro
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Promising (Updated as of 7/1/18)

 This is a well written story that brings a sense of enjoyment to the reader like a good story should. Some inspiration has been taken from The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound in the term of paths, but nobody ever said an idea of paths was solely only allowed to be used by that story. It fits well with this story, and the original content is definitely there. 

The story itself is interesting, but nothing new to royalroad. At this point in time, originality is really hard to come by, so it is up to the author to make their story enjoyable. They could write the most cliche story, but if they add new things and put twists in there, it will leave the reader satisfied. Gensis does just this. An MC being stuck in a dungeon and having to power level with a game interface and classes in a world of magic+monsters after being transmigrated is nothing new. However, the presentation and little twists make the story just so enjoyable. 

I really wish this story had been going on for a year or so just to have that huge stockpile of chapters I would be able to dive right into, but believe me when I say that I will closely follow this one. It looks like it'll only get better. 

7/1/18

So, once our MC came back from his dungeon world and arrived to Earth, things got a bit eh with the story. It seemed like it was going to become kind of boring because Cael was acting rather stupid. However, it seems like the author intentionally made it so and is progressing his character with the new realizations of the MC. 

The story seems like it will be going in a very good direction, and may hit a five star mark, but for now and how so so the story is compared to before, I'm just going to keep a closer eye on it to see how it does. The recent introduction of future characters was rather generic, but we'll see how that ends up going.

The story is definitely worth a read. 

MyNameWasStolen
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

It's okay. Very good for a royalroad novel

the story is rushed and the characters don't really have any depth to them.

About 60% of the story is just skills and status screens and stops me getting into the story.

The main character has severe personality changes where he goes from a warrior one second to a useless baby the next who gets annoyed at someone breathing to loudly (not an actual example but i wouldn't be surprised)

 

Futhark the Elder
Overall

Although there are some similarities between the system of attributes, skills, and ways (paths) in this story and the obscurely complex system of the well-known Randidly Ghosthound, the current protagonist has a very different personality (and, frankly, a much more likeable one). This gives the present story a sufficiently original flavour.

I also like the way in which increasing an attribute in this story has immediately perceptible effects whereas in RG the effects are frustratingly diffuse.

Confession: I began this story with misgivings and yet by chapter 5 was addicted. The author has the rare gift of storytelling.

This brings us to style. The author uses the sustained first person present tense. Generally speaking, the sustained use of present tense is a disaster, usually perpetrated by over-ambitious undergraduates to the despair of their teachers, who may find it difficult to grade their essays without sips of a malted strengthening agent. However, the present author manages to avoid the awkwardnesses that bedevil the present-tense style, a remarkable feat for which he deserves congratulations even as we quirk our eyebrows at his choice.

Finally, I love the author’s intelligent use of epigraphs. The 20th century’s greatest writer of English prose, Jack Vance, was a master of the epigraph — to such an extent that Baron Bodissey, a character known only via quotations from his Encyclopedia, became for many readers a favourite. I shall look forward to the clever world-building of the epigraphs.

TheFisher
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Conflict Can't Be Skipped

I've been Randidled Gashoop for the last time.

Since I have read the bare minimum of required chapters to review this story (78) I feel that I can finally talk about it. Following this paragraph I will be breaking down my thoughts on each subject that RoyalRoad has for reviews. I hope you enjoy.

Style:
The style of the story is uninteresting. It isn't something that draws in the reader, or just catches the attention in general. Safe is what I would call it, but you need to add even a little bit of salt so it's not bland.

1.5 Quivering stars

Grammar:
There's honestly not much to say about the grammar. For the most part it's good, but a proofreader would be appreciated. Grammar mistakes are in every chapter, however, the grammar is fine for the most part.

2.5 Solid stars

 

Story:
Story is another lacking aspect in this novel. This is the same LitRPG story I've seen tens of times before, however, I am a LitRPG fanboy so that's ok with me. But that doesn't mean it's ok to lack a spark of author originality. As it currently stands this story feels like any other LitRPG, and it isn't even exploring tropes in the genre.

The excerpts at the beginning of the chapters are also a problem, as they are a lazy way for the author to tell you about the world without integrating into the story. I realize that many authors build these massive universes that they want to talk about and share, but just taking this information and inserting them as excerpts is not the way to go.

However, I do see aspects of a good story if there ever is a rewrite.

2 Unbalanced stars

Character:
This is the main drawback of the whole affair. All of the characters are flat, their changes don't feel deserved as there is almost nothing shown in the story as to why they would change. The Helldarvin arc is a great example of this as there is almost no struggle shown, and this makes the changes of the MC not seem natural.

Another problem is the panic attack he has early on. Why even have those when they get tossed aside incredibly quickly? Mental illness isn’t something that should be mentioned and then just thrown aside like it’s nothing.

I fully recognize that struggle isn't only physical, but not even mental struggle is shown. Another problem with the story is the lack of any real political discourse going on. There is no mention as to what the plans are for rebuilding the city, rooting out damaging parts like the criminals, or even how the citizens feel. The fact that the author tells us the citizens are dissatisfied means nothing when we can't see it for ourselves.

A lot of problems in this story just stem from the fact that most of the conflict isn’t shown, and only the aftermath is what the reader gets to see. I would’ve liked to see him really struggle on Helldarvin. Show him really trying to survive for at least a few days, and how hard it is only for then Berserker man shows up.

I honestly can't give the characters much.

1 Cracked star

The final result is is a story with a current value of  2 unbalanced stars. I hope this doesn't deter you from writing, but I had to give my honest review.

thejoker195
Overall

Mc's heart is just bleeding all over the place.

Now this i a good story all thing's considered,heck i was loving it all the way up to when he returned to earth, then his commons sense dropped a few points, he wears his emotions on his sleeves like no man's business crying and raging for all the sadness and injustice of the world, then there is the repetitive beating his head in for every "hard" decision he has to make, when we all know that in the end he's just going to do it anyway, he just keeps having the same internal dialogue over and over again till we wait for him to come to his grand epiphany "cael understood what he had to do now,it all made sense as he was one with the world and the world was one with him blah blah blah" ,then he proceeds to make the" hard " choice and starts shedding tears in the midst of the battle so that everyone can know how difficult and emotional all this has been for him and that's he's not really a monster but the bleeding heart saviour that carries the world on his shoulders😑 ...nobody said you shouldn't cry mate but save it for when your in polite company or preferably alone and not in semi hostile territory.

World building is nice , heck even the characters are okay but it's just not the story for everyone.so give it a shot, you may just like it.