Brave World Online

by zenihzwei

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Drama Fantasy Romance Sci-fi Tragedy Magic Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Revolving around a new VRMMO Game which was called Brave World Online at 2045, the game quickly stole the attentions of millions and was flooded with constantly increasing popularity for the past three years. It was a fantasy themed online game in which Players found themselves in a large floating continent called Daedalus.

And in this game too--a youth called Steve Westdale entered. A cowardice one both in real life and in game. Sunk deeply after so many malice directed to him, he stayed submissively and pessimistic as if neither alive nor dead. What kind of thing will await the Greatest Coward in this brand new world he escaped to?

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Author
zenihzwei

zenihzwei

Spiraling Madness

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riles656
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This story is full of cowards. The mc who whines and bi**hs and moans every few paragraphs. The mc's parents who don't kick their worthless 20 year old shut in son out of their house. The mc's brocon sister who is afraid to hurt his feelings,although she is the main reason why he is like he is by "betraying" him and saying he isn't her brother anymore because the mc changed in "THE EVENT". Seriously tho,that whole "after the event I did this" or "after the event I saw the world like a 5 year old emo keep d on steroids" thing gets really annoying. Also,the mc is named Steve. His sister is named Angelica. Those sound like American names to me(besides Angelica,someone was on crack when they named her) The mc picks the name of yuuya for all his characters. The sister picks minisuki for all her names. The mc is very self conscious about weather people bow or use honorifics. Author is blatantly mixing cultures and that really ruined the story for me. Either pick one or the other,not both. The mc speaks in riddles( or extreme gibberish). Here is what he said to Alice before he starts to choke her---"You said you wanted to kill me? You didn't even try to see people's hearts. You never even know what humanity could do when greed overlook them..."  Ok what?? This is what he says in chapter 16. I have read and re-read that whole segment and still can't get it. Aside from that,and the stupid thinking of our emo mc to "let's kill everybody cause somebody hurt me(in "THE EVENT") and I want to be them instead of the one bullied" and the author not doing his research (chick getting choked and she's talking all calm like)(nun blaspheming and saying her god is ok with nuns falling in love) and blood magic. Oohh blood magic. So awesome!!  It uses blood not mana. The mc makes all of these cool stuff and attacks.......BLOOD IS NOT INFINITE!!!!! So to sum it all up,don't bother wasting your time unless you like pointless slaughter,emo mc,unnecessary drama,and no actual real facts, then by all means,waste your time. 

Aethric
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Caution: this is not your typical anti-hero fiction where the hero is a somewhat irascible rogue or a just-minded individual who chooses to work from within the shadows. The "hero" in this story is nowhere close to what a lot of people think of an anti-hero, a category we might refer to as Chaotic Good, but instead leans towards at best Lawful Evil, something rare amongst the fictions I've read so far. His mentality is well fleshed-out and not just some sort of deus ex machina, happy-go-lucky ninny or cuckolded ball of emotion resulting from a single action, but is instead someone who, upon realizing the depth of humanity's depravity, came out broken but strong. This is an individual who gazed into the abyss and had the abyss gaze back. This alone makes this fiction well worth attention.

What's more, while the rest of the story has yet to progress terribly far, the story to-date and the unhurried, quality development of our main character and sub -characters herald great things to come. I look forward to seeing where the author goes with the story. The only caution I would grant the author is that there can be no darkness without light for darkness itself is a contrast.

A+ so far.

Revias
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Complete madness with no purpose other than destruction

Spoiler

I read all the chapters until now (18.08.2015) and it all is about a mc, that is too much of a coward to kill himself, and now that he got power he wants to kill everyone else, just because of his past.

He can KILL peaople for real in a VR game, the company apparently is killing all the people they do not like, and generally it looks like the story is one whole huge slauhter, with no purpose other than killing all people in the game. And the best is that noone notices it. Hundreds of real players die by the hand of the mc for real and nothing is reported about that.

This story just seems to be there to satisfy the authors desire for blood and carnage.

I cant't bring myself to call this a serious story, because a story needs a thought out plot, but this is just pure carnage from minute one.

But that is only my opinion.

 

NinjaKittens
  • Overall Score

A incoherent story about whiny emo mc

Poor character development and a story that has gone nowhere slowly.

Kept at it because I wanted to find what the “tragic event” that happened in the past was and who “they” were that did terrible things…

 

After 30+ chapters, when you are still hiding the backstory and reason for your emo characters actions, you are not being intriguing, just annoying. Tell a damn story or  get out.

 

“you don’t know me, you don’t know what I’ve been through”

– whiny emo kid (i.e. mc)

Shidi86
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Hell of a job bro..keep it up..never ever stop.

 

Been searching for a while now for a MC like this :)

 

Found it and in love with it hahahaha

Kirito Kirigaya
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i have read 3 chapters so far , and it’s not bad ,but why did you have to tease me with the gender bender possibility , damn youu :( i would of loved that .

IronDragon
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This author understands how it is to be truly alone. This work resonates with me because he understands the lack of energy to leave bed, he understands how it is to be overshadowed to the point of desperation, he understands the numbness and pain that comes that comes to those who feel alone in a crowd.

I don’t know if the author has dealt with depression personally or has witnessed its affects up close. But this story unlike any other has truly spoken to me.

KingD
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It might just be because Im a sadist but I absolutely Love your vivid descriptions of the battles and the gore scenes. Keep up the good work

katate
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I am really interested in how this plays out.

Derp
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I have read untill : Second Shift  Chapter 4 - into the darkness.

so far i really enjoy the story and the grammar is easy to read. the MC is cool,  I like 'Devil' Best :3 

Keep up the good work.