New Legends: A New Chapter in an Old Book

New Legends: A New Chapter in an Old Book

by ManeReader

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Extra Tags: Age Progression, Kingdom Building, Kingdoms, Multiple Races/Nonhumans, Monsters, Political, Wars

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In the world of Ethel, sahir dominated. Towns, cities, regions, whole countries were engineered for the single purpose of producing malsirs. Their ability to wield sahir was paramount. Those who could wield it the best accomplished unimaginable feats. They shook the mountains, they froze the seas, they stilled the winds. They were legendary.

Today however, those feats are mere myths. Malsirs no longer command the same strength. Sahir, as a result, was steadily losing its luster, losing the limelight. A new age, an age of industry, was on the horizon and it threatened to revolutionize the world. Sadly, there were many who would never see the benefits of this new age. Caught in between the new and the old, fitting into neither, they were cast aside. Left to wither and die, they begin a revolution of their own.

Enter Kain Basileus, a boy who finds himself caught in the midst of these turbulent times. Ripped from the shadows he found comfort and thrust into the light, what story will he write?

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Updates Every Tuesday And Friday W/ Potential For More. 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

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This is my first time actually putting words to the ideas I've always had swirling in my head. As such, I can only assume its terrible. Hopefully by the time I've finished writing the first major arc I'll actually know how to do this whole writing thing. 

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ManeReader

ManeReader

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 0: Legends ago
Chapter 1: Kain [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 2: NonHuman [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 3: Prodigy [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 4: What's the Cost? [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 5: GoldenHeart [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 6: Hostage [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 7: Protect Your Own [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 8: Awakening [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 9: Sahirlah [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 10: Olin Cassel [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 11: The Garrison [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 12: Settled [The Eyes] ago
Chapter 13: The Eyes Part 1 ago
Chapter 14: The Eyes Part 2 ago
Chapter 15: Martha ago
Chapter 16: Pieces ago
Chapter 17: Burdens [The Blood] ago
Chapter 18: Relief [The Blood] ago
Chapter 19: New Horizons [The Blood] ago
Chapter 20: The Fortems [The Blood] ago
Chapter 21: Martha 2 ago
Chapter 22: Hollow Walls [The Blood] ago
Chapter 23: Raezel Meyner [The Blood] ago
Chapter 24: Fall [The Blood] ago
Chapter 25: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing [The Blood] ago
Chapter 26: Training 1 [The Blood] ago
Chapter 27: Training 2 [The Blood] ago
Chapter 28: The Baron [The Blood] ago
Chapter 29: Bluffs 1 [The Blood] ago
Chapter 30: Training 3 [The Blood] ago
Chapter 31: Training 4 [The Blood] ago
I'm Not Dead! ago
Chapter 32: Bluffs 2 [The Blood] ago
Chapter 33: Bandits [The Blood] ago
Quick Formatting Question. ago

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Reviews
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SuperbSchtick
Overall
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Story
Grammar
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Wonderful Worldbuilding Held Back By Sloppy Start

Reviewed at chapter 30.

Like the other reviews said there's a lot of potential here and it's clear that a lot of time and effort went into crafting the world the story takes place in. That hard work is betrayed by the inconsistency of the authors writing at first but as each chapter goes by it slowly improves. The second arc is a much better read than the first so the author is definitely headed in the right direction. My only major gripe at this point would be the pov changes. They aide the world-building but the frequency of them make it hard to keep track of the plot. Those could be worked on. 

 

I recommend getting to chapter 6. I enjoyed the slow burn at the beginning but if you don't I'd say get to the second half on the arc before you judge.

chrisnorcras
Overall

The author really takes time building his world. I've currently read through the first ten chapters and have enjoyed it, although there is occasionally what seems like a little too much information to digest at one time (ie. a couple paragraphs about the school ranking system and another about the correlation of monetary values and different types of coins). While I enjoy the detail, it stuck out as too much to remember at the time, as I was trying to get into the story.

Grammatically and story flow-wise the work is exellent, and I will update this review as I continue reading!

MoonWatcher
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Interesting and Promising Beginning

From the small amount of chapters I've read so far from this novel (I've reached chap. 10 recently) I can say that it has a lot of potential to grow into a captivating and interesting tale. What I've seen so far includes a bit plain, but well-working style, a grammar on a good level and a story that definitely intrigued me.

Style - It's nothing spectacular, but it's on a good enough level for the reader to go through the story with ease. It gets things across easily and it stays consistent when it comes to POVs, POV shifts and tenses. There is some info dumping that can be reworked and better implemented into the story, though.

Grammar - There are some noticeable mistakes, but they aren't many and definitely don't make the story less enjoyable.

Story - The prologue manages to capture the reader's attention in a magnificent manner. The chapter that follows can be a little bit confusing, as it quickly presents a lot of characters and new places. Eventually, every confusion disappears, though, and the setting unveils, creating an intruguing picture. There are questions to be answered here and that is a good way to move the story forward, although the world is a bit bland at first. The plot itself quickly picks up and unfolds in both unexpected and interesting ways. 

Characters - The cast isn't too broad and huge, but it really doesn't need to be. The MC is interesting and far from the usual cliches that fill RRL and its friends and family are vibrant enough to feel distinct. The side characters and the antagonists are also vivid, but there are cliched ones and it definitely holds back the novel a bit.

Conclusion - This story is very promising and I hope it can grow into something epic and beautiful, despite the few problems it now has. I think it deserves nothing less than 4/5. 

wslwrites
Overall

The dialogue is crisp and to the point, and the windows into your character's thoughts using italics is also a very nice touch. O

verall, I think you have a good sense of storytelling and it shows - each chapter leads on seamlessly to the next, and there is a good ebb and flow of dramatic tension in your writing.

ArcanePunkster
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

As a heads up I read to chapter six.

Overall the novel is very promising.

The style can sometimes be jarring switching between many perspectives in the story, and you can sometimes lose track. The author has a tendency to bulk together loads of sentences into a single paragraph, which can make it also jarring to read.

With all the world building and lore that has been put into this story. You can tell that the author has investing a lot into making something out of this. Many of the features intrigue me more regardless of how little of a role in plays in the main story.

The grammar is solid albeit few mistakes with punctuation, use of words and missing words.

As of this moment the characters are likable. I haven't found any problems but because it' so early in the story for me, I can't really comment on more than what I said.

If you're looking for a good fantasy story with some elements of modern technology thrown in with it. This is one of the better examples of those genres.

J Pal
Overall

A good story but needs some work

Full disclosure my review is based on the first ten chapters.

Though the story so far is interesting (predictable but by no means a poor read) the quality suffers due to the very inconsistent pacing. 

However, the dialogue is well written and natural which a lot of authors on Royal Road struggle with. Good job on that front.
 
Most of the fiction's issues can be addressed with the help of a good editor. 
Mrsrodgers
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I made this account just to review your novel :p I found it on reddit yesterday and just finished binge reading it I love it! My only complaint is it has some pacing issues it feels slow but when it speeds up it feels too fast. If you could fix that it would be perfect! :)

Onch
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

An interesting read

This story is pretty interesting, even if the start is a bit slow. The plot is pretty generic, but it’s not a deal breaker since the story is still enjoyable to read, even if it’s a bit predictable. The characters also feel a bit bland at times.

However, the story is otherwise well written and the few grammatical and punctuation mistakes here and there are not too noticeable.  The actions scenes have a nice flow, and the descriptions are detailed enough without being too verbose. But the author also sometime focuses too much on things that are not very interesting.

To conclude, I’ll say that this story is pretty all right, even if it still has room for improvement.

TheWillThatWont
Overall

Im just here for balance. Its a great story though. 

investing
Overall

I’m changing this review because I was really lazy while writing it.

I only read the prologue and 1st chapter because it wasn’t great.

I could find probably 5 novels with very similar first two chapters. It’s very generic.

I didn’t learn anything in these first two chapters and there wasn’t nothing to make me care about the world the author created.

It wasn’t intriguing and the author should read some books on how to keep the reader engaged.

When I was reading I was constantly spaced out.