Adventures of an Old Dreamer
- Traumatising content
There once was a boy that lived in a village with no name in a remote corner of a province in a grand empire. Every villager had their place, and his was a shepherd's. Despite that, or perhaps because of it, the boy was an avid dreamer, yearning for adventure between each book he read.
Decades go by in the blink of an eye and the young boy grows into an old man, yet remains a shepherd, watching his flock live and die in an endless cycle of life.
Yet, the old man dreams on about adventure, never too old to indulge in his delusions.
One fateful night, however, his endless prayer gets answered. Two immortals fall from the sky, and from their corpses, the old man acquires the means to strength in order to adventure.
What does the world have in store for Lao Chen?
This story has undertaken the pledge, assuring that the story will be written until its natural completion. God help me.
A Xianxia with a little twist.
Rated gore and traumatising, potentially triggering. Enjoy!
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I'm actually shocked by the number of really good review on this novel, it is not a bad novel, but it is in no way the "great" novel people make it out to be.
The progression is confusing and unchallenging for the MC, we see him go from zero to hero in 4-5 chapters tops. The few fight are awkward and unfun to read about, a friendship is develloped in litteraly a single chapter and they are the best of friends already, the foreshadowing about the barrier and the expert of his country is very badly done.
The MC is also way too forgiving and accepting, i suppose this is intentional but it is overdone and when you add that to the cringy/more or less badly done interaction it takes away from the rest of the story.
The power spike was so sudden the reader doesnt have the time to get a feel for the power scale of your world, there is also the fact that your mc is a Mary Sue of cultivation encountering 0 difficulties whatsoever and the few he encounters are irrelevant or a setup for a instant arbitrary powerup.
Now even with everything said there is still potential as this is clearly a rough first draft, it should also be fairly easy to edit/rewrite the bad parts in the future when your skills have grown.
This is very good so far. I like how you made Lao Chen the way you did. In my opinion, there are too many Xianxia storys where the MC is a self righteous prick. Keep it up. I'd like to see where this goes.
This is a great start (first 6 ch). It is original, fun and the people in it have ethics which is very nice to see in a novel. I hope that the author does not give up and that he/she (probably he) has a great time writing this story.
I really like that the focus of this story is that even while starting late you can achieve great levels of cultivation.
taking the premice of many Wuxia stories is fun and great !
I like that old man taking the life smoothly and without many worries.
hope you'll be back
I give it 4 1/2 simply because while I love this story, it does have a few errors every now and then, one or two plot holes but nothing major enough to mention. The spelling errors are few and far between and usually corrected pretty quickly so if you’re a grammar nut then this shouldn’t be too bad.
Plot wise, it has a tendency to wander but I think that’s intentional, and in its own kind of adds to the charm. The characters, while ridiculous, are believable enough as opposed to the usual “I am powerful therefore fear me” and “young master samaaaaaa” that we commonly get.
Keep it up my friend, and I will continue reading. I wish you the best.
Since this is on hiatus and unlikely to ever be continued... just going to leave a short comment, but really loved the concept, the characters and the adventure.
I do agree that the plot was getting out of hand at the end of the first arc, if you do come back, I'd suggest focusing on some of the characters you've already introduced, the cultivation, maybe some sect feuds or some secret that gets out that they have to cover up... but whatever you do, would be great to see this old dreamer again!
This story is super fast paced for Xianxia. Everything that would take 200 chapters in a typical Xianxia happens in 10 chapters. This has both positive and negative aspects. A huge part of the negatives are the lack of logical character progression, which makes the 5 main characters flat.
One MC has huge psychological trauma which she immediately overcomes to become the most decisive and ruthless character in less than a chapter.
On the plus side, there are no fillers ar all. No excessive crowd jeering to fill out fight scenes. All of the young masters are logically placed. Etc.
Suggestion for improvement: Take the time to write a character sheet for each MC and Antagonist with an extensive bio. Use this as a reference to write an extensive background bio. Pick out 5 key traits of each character and stay true to those traits while guiding their growth.
Avoid sudden leaps in growth as much as possible, and save critical breakthroughs for dramatic moments.
These 2 things can help with pacing the story and directing towards needed sub-plots.
It is really nice to have a story like yours so you better continue as you are. I would say that your story is truly a dream come true ! *wink wink*
Im somewhat confused i thought i aleady rated your story but it seems i didnt post it for some reason.
To the story i really like it i feel right at home with it its comparable to many popular xanxia and wuxia over at wuxiaworld. Its fresh and your absolutly right novels like Martial God Asura, Against the Heavens, Coiling dragon, Desolate Era, Perfect World, I shall Seal the Heavens, Swallowed Star, Book eating magician, its always about a youth walking to glory sure hardship, woman and treasure make most of the allure for it but in the end they are all so similar to each other some like atg and mga where mc is sometimes a complete douche and chases every woman with above average beauty even building harems seems the norm.
It gets tiring to always read about the same overall scheme and your story is really refreshing instead of a young boy or even more a child its a old dude who lived his life mundane but kept a young heart its inspiring after the first few chapters i instantly associated with the mc i even thought when i grow old i should never forget to dream its inspiring.
I love the story i like the addition of his nascent soul beeing independent completly novel in any wuxia i ever read never seen something similar and her even becoming his daughter i love. Even though you added to her many hidden talents an heavenly potential which falls back into schema F its forgiveable and in the end at its core thats the reason we love wuxia so much power fantasies and such.
If i didnt know its a fan writen story at many points i completly forgot im on royal road and associated your story to the professional translators over at ww.
Now lets talk about the storys short comming after so many honey'd words some salt is neccesary grammar is somewhat lacking but good compared to most other novels here on rr you definitly need a proofreader or a second one if you have already one if you search for grammar errors too long you become blind for them its normal and happens to everyone, so a second pair of eyes is always a good choice also called peer review.
Story has its ups and downs start was stellar i litteraly got starry eyes after i read your first few chapters after that its a normal low story progression and such. the part where he was in the village you could have made him fight some minor troubles or something else in my opinion wasted potential there. The part in the froest was also nice the fight of those two core formation experts again wasted potential as he regenerated the forest again and i remind you part of the allure are "unforeseen consequences and hidden encounters" he could have caught the attention of a hidden entity which you can casually integrate into the story later ads some mystery.
The city ark was ok but it seemed to miss something not sure what, your story your imagination.
The rest of the story is still in developement and its fine rome wasnt build in one day.
So for the end i hope i addressed the major things i thought could change and forgive me if i forgot some story parts its already one or two weeks since i read your story. A tipp from a bored writer with regular writers block plan your story in with a rough outline major events and major charakters 10 chapters in advance if you dont its easy to write yourself into a dead end and you dont want to go back and rewrite major parts of your story jsut to make it plausible again alot of wasted brain power and time with that.
A wish from my side if you encounter a writers block anounce it and dont endlessly excuse yourself like many do tell us especially me :D so i am not so disapointed for checking the third consecutive week with no meanigfull update. I wish you many interessting thoughts and a good flow for your future chapters even if you quit now i wont forget what you wrote and will incorporate similar ideas into my own storys in the future.
I wish you a good day and btw im german pls excuse my horrendous grammar XD.
I love this story it really change from other xianxia.