SUPER! - A Medieval Superhero Story

by Elliot Moors

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Drama Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead Female Lead Grimdark Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters School Life Strategy Strong Lead Super Heroes Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

One-tenth of the population is born with special Powers. 

Some call themselves Heroes, striving to uphold justice and order.

Others are branded as Villains, those who wish to twist reality according to their own nefarious needs.

Paragon, queen of an empire spanning most of the known world, sits wounded upon her throne. She holds a tenuous grip on the peace she once created.

Ender, the Dark Lord of Villains, is thought dead, slain by the queen upon the eve of his greatest conquest.

Kiren and Lace know differently.

They both know he will make another attempt to throw the empire of Aribel into chaos. 

Young and untrained, their souls are entwined with one another. They have both vowed to stop Ender and his commanders.

Will they be strong enough to survive? Will they be prepared for the horrors the Lord of Villains has in store for them?

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Elliot Moors

Elliot Moors

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
0. The Day the World Died, Part 1 ago
0. The Day the World Died, Part 2 ago
0. The Day the World Died, Part 3 ago
1. Lace Amar, Part 1 (START OF 'LOST SOULS' ARC) ago
1. Lace Amar, Part 2 ago
1. Lace Amar, Part 3 ago
2. Kiren ago
3. Third Time Lucky, Part 1 ago
3. Third Time Lucky, Part 2 ago
4. Bits and Pieces, Part 1 ago
4. Bits and Pieces, Part 2 ago
5. Excelerate ago
6. The Hunt, Part 1 ago
6. The Hunt, Part 2 ago
7. The Limit, Part 1 ago
7. The Limit, Part 2 ago
8. "Master" ago
9. A Good Man, Part 1 ago
9. A Good Man, Part 2 (END OF 'LOST SOULS' ARC) ago
10. Evangel (START OF 'DARK TIDINGS' ARC) ago
11. Hone the Body, Part 1 ago
11. Hone the Body, Part 2 ago
12. My Blood for the World, Part 1 ago
12. My Blood for the World, Part 2 ago
13. The Grandmaster, Part 1 ago
13. The Grandmaster, Part 2 ago
14. The Doubt ago
15. A New Home, Part 1 ago
15. A New Home, Part 2 ago
15. A New Home, Part 3 ago
16. To Health (END OF 'DARK TIDINGS' ARC) ago
17. A Deal Gone Wrong (START OF 'CLASHING WILLS' ARC) ago
18. Fool Me Thrice, Part 1 ago
18. Fool Me Thrice, Part 2 ago
19. Recoup ago
20. Ugly Mug, Ugly Heart ago
21. Escalation ago
22. Split, Part 1 ago
22. Split, Part 2 ago
23. Restitution ago
24. Show of Force ago
25. Clash of Wills ago
26. Friend for a Day ago
27. Trials, Part 1 ago
27. Trials, Part 2 ago
28. Darkness Resurgent (END OF 'CLASHING WILLS' ARC) ago
29. Big Game, Part 1 (START OF 'RETRIEVAL' ARC) ago
29. Big Game, Part 2 ago
30. Pretty Birdy ago
31. Neutral Ground ago
32. The Master Thief ago
33. Difference of Opinion ago
34. Plan of Attack ago
35. Rematch ago
36. Gold Fever ago
37. Ugly ago
38. Night Out ago
39. Bird in a Cage (END OF 'RETRIEVAL' ARC) ago
40. Hardened, Part 1 (START OF 'CITY OF MADNESS' ARC) ago
40. Hardened, Part 2 ago
41. City on Fire ago
42. Night of Horrors ago
43. Desperation ago
44. No one Left Behind ago
45. Run! ago
46. Maxim's Wish ago
47. The one who Suffered, Part 1 ago
47. The one who Suffered, Part 2 ago
48. Khruj ago
49. The Chimera ago
50. Purity ago
51. The Broken Hero ago
52. The Riddle Tree ago
53. A Father's Memory ago
54. Catchup ago
55. One Last Push ago
56. The True Monster ago
57. The Battle for Goldbrand ago
58. Dawn (END OF BOOK ONE) ago
Reviews

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l nimbus
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Ah, Super. A story that took all of minutes to make me fall for it. And it was worth every minute it took to read through.

These days, the Superhero genre is actually quite high-quality, with good stories like Not All Heroes and Inheritors grabbing you and getting you addicted. Worm and Ward, Along with Anathema, continue as the undisputed champions of the genre, while Outliers and N. A.H race along close behind. So, What does someone have to do to make their story stand out?

Set it in a Dark Ages themed world, that's what.


Story:

Super takes place, as I said just above, in a Dark Ages themed world. It's a violent place, with the line between Hero and Villian firmly set. It's off to an intense start, with the first few chapters pitting an army of Hero's and Villians against each other, ending in a showdown that sets the theme for the rest of the series. Death, the supernatural, horrors, grey morals, pride and selfishness are all superbly portrayed in this well written and we'll thought out story.

Unlike many stories, the Heroes are not portrayed as uncaring assholes who only help people for because they have to. There are variables among them, but most do it to help the people, knowing full well they might die in the line of duty. The Villians are the evil here. They might, at times, be likeable.monsters, but in the end, they're still the monster.

Another factor here are the Beats, supernatural creatures that prey on humans, feasting on suffering and misery. So far, only Heroes have been seen exterminating them, but they pose a threat to all living things, Hero, Villian and civilian alike.

 


Characters:

Kiren, a young man driven by revenge. While many find him unlikeable, myself included, he is accurately written. His whole.life, he has been driven by revenge, and his goals are the pursuit of strength so that he may achieve his revenge.

At times, his stubbornness and near stupidity was off-putting, but those traits align with his character. He does get slightly better as the story progresses.

Lace: A girl who wants to live up to her father's legacy and protect her country as a Hero. She has her strengths and weaknesses, but I think her most well written one is her blindness to anything that might stand between and her dream. Again, this is a little infuriating, but very accurate.

She does come off a s a bit of apushover, though, as despite her best efforts, she is hindered by a weak power with a sever drawback.

There are many others here, the maniac Ripper, Forge, Titaness, the cold Excelerate,grumpy-ass Forge, Counter, the ever hateable Bits, the list goes on and on.

Super has a large, unique, and often likeable cast. The current villian, who I will avoid naming due to spoiler reason, does his/her/it's job of making you hate them excellently.


Grammar: Nothing to complain about here, folks. During all of Super, I noticed maybe one of two typos. While I could have structured a few sentences better, this story is far above the average for RRL.

 

Style: Elliot's style i well done, and remains consistent throughout the story. Not much to say here, other than the fact it gets the job done and the point across


Dialogue and Action:

Again, the author does a very good job on both of these. The dialogue feels almost real, making it easy to understand which characters are speaking. I might have been able to make a few improvements here, but nothing serious.

The action scenes are actually quite good, being well written and capturing combat and it's injuries acurately. Elliot manages to capture the confusion and desperation of the fight without confusing the readers themselves. Again, this is much better than I can say for most RRL writers, whose idea of action seems to be "swing a sword and slice entire armies in half." A step up from the usual, folks.


Ending note: Super is a story that has it's flaws. Flaws that are easily overshadowed by what the author has achieved so far. I whole heartedly reccomend it to anyone looking for a Superhero story with a few twists.

 

Wilberforce
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Up to chapter 13

Style

This is easy to read and gives a sense of immersion. My only problem here is that it gets flowery sometimes. The dialogue is quite good and straightforward, you don't have to think to know who's talking and how. 

Story 

From what I've read so far, this is a slow-pace, save-the-world, supernatural kind of story. The plot is conventional and there is so far no specific twist that can make the whole thing stand out. 

Grammar

This is almost perfect. I don't think many stories on this site have better. 

Character

The characters are well fleshed out, they feel real. I'm only taking a star from here because Kiren is an asshole and Lace is a crybaby that I believe people will hate. Also some of the characters decision is not logical. Examples are given in the spoiler tag 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

Professor Porkchop
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Much improved, and now with 100% less Infanticide!

You really have done well by rewriting the whole thing. It's clearly better writing. its fast paced, smooth. The dialogue pulls you in. and your descriptions support your characters well.

 

I like the idea of superheroes in a fantasy setting.

If you think about it, there always were, though. They were wizards and demigods and whatnot.

sorry I was so late on the review. ( i did do it, but It was as a comment I think? My bad)

I did notice one but that broke my immersion (it's a tiny niggle, so don't sweat it.)  when the boy was climbing the slate rooftop.  you said his feet curled. I recommend using toes instead.

 

-F

Letseatphil
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The author's grammar errors are few in number and his style is pleasant. His story is interesting too but where he shines is his characters. I fell in love with Lace in the early chapters during the scene with her mother.

Kiren is a bit dislikeable but that feels unintentional.

Glad it got recommended to me. Favourited.

blahblahblahblahblah
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It's interesting and fun. Has a popular theme but at the same time something completely different. You can't help but feel and go through the journey of MC as if it were your own. I have no major issues with the story: The pace is great, the characters are developing well so far, and it's pretty imaginative.

the_doctor
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Amazing ITS STAR LEVEL IS OVER 9000!

shut up and take my money-5 TARS!

grammar- i've only seen one or two mistakes every 5 or so chapters and those are usually minor. like leaving out a letter or something. amazing grammar 5 stars!

style score- turned a classic cast of 2d characters into living breathing humans with real interactions, the descriptive writing is waaaay on point as well. you can really put yourself in the story and see whats going on. 5 stars!

story score- i have not been dissapointed in the story. each arc brings something new to the table. each chapter has a story to tell and i'm listening. i only wish more people support this author. 5 stars!

character score- if i could i would award 100 stars! just on characters alone. they develop and we watch them go through these changes some good some bad but all are real. not just a stupid change in character to fit the storyline. i wish i could write this good

 please read

ROOQ
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Great Start to an Awesome Read

Style 4.5/5

Good, I like the flow of the story. Eliot’s writing works to pull you right into the world and is easy to read. The only problem I found was a few awkward sentences. The author could use more descriptions at some places to show more. But this would just push it over the edge, by RRL standards the author shows more than most.

Example is the very first line, “Kiren wandered through a city on fire.”

I felt that the author could really draw the reader in by describing shattered windows, flames licking at half burned houses. He could also use more here to describe the panic of the people in the streets. People in locked houses being burnt alive, screams of horror. Crows cawing above ready for when the slaughter was over.

These are just very very rough examples that I believe could help with emersion.

Story 5/5

Good, slow build up, but I like the direction that the story is going in. No spoilers but the hints at what the ‘bad guy’ will be, are promising!

Grammar 5/5

Good! Rarely did I find anything jarring that pushed me out of the story.

Character 4.5/5

From what I have read so far, the story is very character driven, which is a plus. Often on RRL, stories focus on a cool plot, and the characters become secondary. Not the case here I am happy to say. Both the leading characters are strong, and it is easy to understand their motivations. It helps to move the story along and makes you care what happens. I hope Kirin doesn’t change to much though, I like how he is disillusioned with people in power.

The only problem I could see was maybe some inconsistency with Kirin at the start. He wasn’t what I was hoping for, but this is more personal.

Overall 5/5

A great read that I strongly recommend to anyone who comes across this review.

Alphadragon
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Good story 

  • Minor tweaks for character creation required
  • Grammar is 👌
  • Style is good 
  • Story can use minimal tweaks. 

Overall a great idea and story. 

jpuntuned
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I've been contemplating starting a superhero project but don't like the idea of writing an urban fantasy. Elliot proved to me that one doesn't need to be limited to modern day to write about superpowers.

I'm hooked. I've followed and favourited.

Elliot's style is simple and familiar. It feels like I'm rereading a childhood favourite. The narration and protagonist reminds me of the Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson.

His story though great so far still feels like the typical saving the world, bringing down the big baddy fair which is common in the genre. Perhaps he plans to add more intricacies to the story but its too early to tell. At the moment it seems like a build up to a magic academy setting but more along the lines of the popular mangas Boku no Hero Academia and Black Clover.

What I do love about his story so far are his characters. Both protagonists are well written and deep. They're relatable and their backgrounds pull at the reader's heartstrings. I'm eager to see where the pair of them are heading.

I like Elliot's work so much, he needs to be worried about me ripping him off.

Onch
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This story has an interesting and original setting; superheroes in a fantasy world.

The grammar is great, and the good descriptions help the reader get immersed into the story, the characters are also pretty interesting and original. They are fleshed-out and their motivations are easy to understand.

The story flows well, although it has a few awkward sentences here and there, but it’s still a pleasure to read.

To conclude, I’d recommend this story is you like superheroes and fantasy!