Mystic: Mark Of The Demon

Mystic: Mark Of The Demon

by Grand Mystic

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

Colonel Lavitz Feld is tasked with hunting The Marked, individuals who have been cursed with ancient power that is tied to a single emotinon, for over 700 years they have been declared a blight upon the sentient races.  For 16 years a single marked has escaped trial, his name, Tubal the Pyre Demon.  Hundreds have fallen to this horrific man, cooking his victims alive 'marking' his victims corpses with a singled burned handprint.

Lavitz must hunt this scourge down and end his reign of terror.


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A diamond in the rough

I like the story, but I somewhat feel the MC is portrayed as a side character rather than a main one. But that's just me. 

Your most fatal flaw is your wording and sentence structuring. That needs some tweaking. 

I feel you should let the chapters sit in your computer for some time and return to them later on and read through them to discover where improvements needs to be made.  

But I like it. If you can fix all this, I wouldn't mind changing the score to four or maybe even four and a half stars.

I feel this story has potential.

Ps. Edit the synopsis and improve it. Not only does it somewhat sound boring, it needs a complete overhaul.