In 2144 an experiment on wormholes that was intented to find a solution for interstellar travel opened up the door to new possibilities, a world that we thought only existed in books and in our imaginations. A world of magic and dragons.
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I have thouroughly loved reading your work from chapter 1 till the most recent addition.
The world building has been absolutely superb!
Though if i must write one small thing that bothers me, it is that i wished the chapters were longer - i find them somewhat short.
But overall i feel it has been eons since i last found a story of this caliber and that this story is a must read on this site.
Keep up the good work!
Using the words of a modern day philosopher : ,,Very nice''
The style of writing is not quite my favorite,dialogues are sometimes clunky but it gets a pass.Kinda slow paced,like before the meeting of the king and Nelson,everything might aswell be the prologue(15 chapter-ish').This has tons of potential and i can't wait to see more,keep up the good work Heswe.
Title: Ambassadors to another world
Genre: Fantasy, Sci-fi
Protagonist: [none] or [too many to mention here]
Setting: a fantasy world and a sci-fi world that got connected.
Tension Level: Low-Medium
Basic Premise: the earth was connected to another world by a wormhole that they made. now they had to explore the new possibilities. while the fantasy world had to cope with the outsiders that appeared.
Chapter Content: how each world deal with the other world. how the village near the wormhole had became a big town, how ambassadors and scientist negotiates with the nearest kingdom for material, knowledge, and goods.
Chapter Reached: 30
Personal Opinion: feels like nihonkoku shoukan. pretty good. but somewhat slow at the beginning. it's good that the release frequency is high at this time...
Wow a really great story. I love it. Like one of the anime. Hope they don't bulky the local legendary creatures. They are just trying to make babies and live so don't C4 them .
The story follows a bunch of Scientists that are specialized in various fields and the ambassador Nelson as they establish diplomatic relations and explore “Nelithea” - A fantasy world filled with monsters and magic.
A story so enamoured with detailing everything perfectly that critical elements are sometimes forgotten.
Overall Score: 3
Fans of fantasy or Kingdom Building may enjoy this. Unfortunately the aspect of management is severely underdeveloped despite how often the author goes more into detail than necessary at times and could break ones suspension of disbelief
Style Score: 3.5
Quite often minor details are explained in narration with more detail than necessary, even extraneous things, which becomes a minor annoyance at times. The rest of the writing is fine - it is rather plain, which does not make the many descriptions any better, but it gets everything across.
Grammar Score: 4
Unfortunately the Writer makes a single consistent mistake: He writes properties extending into the present in present tense - which, while correct in dialogue, is wrong when the narration is set in simple past.
I did not deduct additional points for this, as it is very readable story with relatively few typos aside from this. (But you should keep it in mind)
Story Score: 3
Character Score: 3
The story starts two years in, with an already established outpost in the new world and the troupe we meet presumably consists of the first non-military personnel allowed there.
But despite this there are no decontamination protocols, they get to explore the world without being surveilled or even accompanied by military personnel and a supermarket has already been built in the nearest village.
As you may already be able to tell the story continues to throws up a lot of question marks in terms of administration or operation of the military base.
The situation of the main characters is not much better.
Aside from the actual ambassador and the teacher none of the scientists have special qualifications outside of their respective fields… On top of this they all have weird quirks which should immediately disqualify them from a public position. Something is going wrong when the Physicist tries to calm the concerned Wizard by explaining to him that science knows no bounds and the wormhole they created for FTL travel even could have destroyed their entire planet.
In spite of this the story or characters are not really bad. They just suffer from gigantic oversights and their particular nature. The author does a good job at making them feel alive and human otherwise. It also does not get in their way as scientists and they act professional during their research. It is just that the way the story was set up completely clashes with their personalities.
Alright, I'll be clear. The readers need to stop claiming this work here is incredible because it is anything but that.
Everything is wrong. I'll get grammar and style out of the way. Grammar is simply a fucking slaughter. "But- but balblabla english not my first language blablabla." Don't even try that with me. Grammarly, oxford dictionary, suplementary classes in english I don't care: there are plenty of way to get better. I'm not a Grammar Nazi but that is just too much.
As for style, well apart from there being none, it's simply ruined by the quality of the above mentioned point.
Let's shift to the characters. They are out of any world you can imagine. Nobody, and I want to be clear so I'll say it again in bold NOBODY behaves like this. I get enthusiasm. I get it. But the main cast of scientist? They are just absolute nutcases. Is it supposed to be humor? It failed.
I can accept Nelson, the ambassador a little more but he is nothing more than a prick at the end.
As for the story, I don't even know where to begin to show the world it's wrong to give this a five star. I know I will need to spoil though and here it begins.
First : the timeline and the roles. So two years happened between the opening of a portal between Earth and generic fantasy land (GFL). Two years during which nothing happened. Nothing. So much of nothing, in fact, that the cast is a team comprised of scientists tasked to explore GFL and one ambassador to negociate with king of a part of GFL.
If you have the shadow of a brain, you should already be saying "what the fuck, why did they wait two years? But anyway, the critic must exagerate. Things must have happened."
No. cast n°1 is an engineer sent to study adamantium and mithril. Which makes no sense. It's like going to the moon to study moon soil. No. You go to the moon, grab a sample and go back to Earth and to your lab. In the same fashion, you acquire a pound of adam. one of mith. and go back to Earth to run it through your equipment. In 2 years, no one thought about that, and 2 years later, they send someone on the other side of the mirror when it's the samples which should come to Earth.
Cast n°2 is a physicist. tasked to study magic Same problem here.
Same problem overall with Steven Irving Cast n°3 and Cast n°4 who is a physician who author seems to dump in the same category as a biologist, but hey that's just a small mistake compared to the rest.
Only cast5, who is a teacher tasked with humanitarian relief makes sense. NOT! Why humanitarian relief?
The point of contact is some village which 2 years prior, was attacked by [evil]. 2 years ago. Since then, no more attack. I think the ship for sending humanitarian relief has sailed.
And last comes the ambassador who should be negociating with Random King since 2 years already (minus six or seven months to learn the language).
Second: the objective. What is the overall fucking point? Why does Earth even bother? Does Earth need ressource? We don't know. Does Earth want ressource? We don't know. What's the point of the mission? Seriously, if someone can answer that, kudos. It's not like Jietai: there was no attack so it's not about retribution. So just exploration and first contact? Fine, albeit made completely irrelevent because of the unexplainable time gap. Nelson's behavior hints at some greater plan on Earth's side but we don't have the shadow of a clue. What is he even here to negociate? We don't know.
So we don't care. It brings to the third point.
Third: the story and the characterization. We have vague personal motives from the cast, except it does not make any sense for them to be here in GFL. And this cast is defined entirely by these motives, so much that it hurts. It makes tham behave in a totally unrelatable manner. Other than that, they are bland. Which is pretty difficult when you have a more or less character driven story, rather than a plot driven story. Which begs the queston, what is this about? Contact between two civilizations? Then it's rather poorly done as, apart from magic, Earth bridged with GFL. It's like exploring our own imagination. There is nothing weird, nothing surprising. The world building is absolutely LAME.
Lastly, the humor. Let's read chapter 21. Physicist takes the last sugar cane before Female Mage during a kingly reception. Female Mage decides to cry to accuse Physicist of being... I don't know. Anyway, the blame, rather than being directed at the stupid woman who decided to cry like a child during a royal fest, is directed at Phycisist.
So, I assume it's supposed to be funny. Except, if you're a liiiiittle older than 3 years old, it's not.
I could continue forever.
All in all, for RR's sake, stop rating that more than a three stars, it does not deserve it right now.
I'm very much in love with this story!
Thank you so much for blessing us with such an amazing read!