The Dungeon Calls for a Sage

by docemoon145

Original HIATUS Action Fantasy Psychological LitRPG Magic Multiple Lead Characters Non-Human lead Reincarnation Strategy
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

Archimedes was the ego behind one of the most powerful dungeons ever created. He grew and developed his halls, filling them with powerful monsters and beasts, over the course of thousands of years. He was a grand structure of ten thousand floors which even heroes had failed to defeat.

However, an Evil God had come from another world, calling himself the Demon King, and a party of heroes were sent to do battle with it. They were victorious in the end and obtained enough strength to breeze through Archimedes' dungeon like it was nothing. Forseeing the end of his life, and realizing how pointless his pursuit of power had been, Archimedes destroyed himself to prevent the heroes from having the satisfaction. As an added bonus, his collapsing dungeon killed the hero party that had even defeated an Evil God.

Still, Archimedes felt despair that he had lived a worthless life as something as pitiful and futile as a dungeon. Sensing his regret and potential, the voice of the world presented Archimedes with the chance to start anew and live a more meaningful life. Thrilled and hopeful for the first time in eons, Archimedes accepted the offer, only to be reborn again as a dungeon core with not a single room or monster to his name.

Just what was the meaning of this?!

Archimedes couldn't figure out what the voice of the world was thinking. Somehow, he would have to draw a sage into his dungeon to figure it out for him.

_______________________

DCS is now a member of the WriTEr's Pledge, which means I have sworn to see it through to a satisfying end.

https://forum.royalroadl.com/showthread.php?tid=97007

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docemoon145

docemoon145

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morkdallah
Overall

This is lovely. the charactarisation of Archemedes is delightful, its internal war with itself is a joy to read the cofusion over long ears behavior all in all a compleate joy tho read. Thank you.

Fyrefly
Overall

Very Interesting Dungeon Story

As of Chapter 1-9

For me at least, one of the best out there. I'll be eagerly waiting for new chapters whenever you have the time to push them out.

Archimedes really is an interesting character. His internal war between his instincs and his emotions is something I don't think I've ever seen in a dungeon novel before, and it adds a whole new level of complexity to his character. It feels like he's sitting on the verge of an epiphany if he'd only reach out and grasp it.

I feel like coming up with more difficult and interesting puzzles as the dungeon grows deeper is going to take a lot of creativity, and writing about them in a way that most readers can visualize is going to take a lot of skill. Good Luck, hope to see progress in one of my favorite stories soon. 

Keifru
Overall

I'm always interested in a Dungeon Core story thats good, and Dungeon Calls for a Sage fits the bill in my book.

 

If No Epic Loot, Only Puns can be described as 'empathic', then this would be more an 'intellectual' direction of a reincarnated Dungeon Core. Thus far, it hasn't had the seriousness of something like Dungeon Heart but its incredibly enjoyable to follow. Doesn't bog itself down with exacting number crunch, the world is fantastical despite the few chapters and only the wisps of information provided thus far.

 

I hope the Author finds a steady update schedule with their muse so this can continue to rise.

Tekknos
Overall

this is one of the best starts

so far one of the best starts for a dungeon story so for i have read in a long time.

(i read most  tongue-out ) whould not mind more blue screens but ive read that they are annoying to make. so keep up the good work.

bor902
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The style of writing in itself is nothing special, it is simply there, an average combination of words and sentences that despite mediocracy serve their purpose well. Due to the style being simple, the grammar can be said to be almost perfect, there are not many things to screw up and the author evidently either has an editor or uses spellcheck.

The characters are quite flat and fall into the pitfall of telling instead of showing when the attempt is made to show it, it isn't very good except in some few cases.

This is all brought together to a solid 4-star story though by the plot and fresh concept of a trapmaking dungeon. This is something I haven't seen before and it is certainly pleasing in its originality.

 

The only reason the story-specific rating is not a full 5 stars is due to the fact that the author is rather unimaginative in the trap and puzzle creation. Maybe the simple puzzles are made to represent Archimedes newness in the subject since he is said to have been a power-reliant dungeon in the past.


There are several suggestions for improvement I can offer to the author. Firstly I do not know if your original style of writing is this bland or if it's intentional. If it is intentional I would insist on more of a free rein on your part, if it is not intentional I can only say that more books need to be read. Books with very conceptualized styles of writing, Dostojewsky, Kierkegaard and Twain come to mind.

The grammar can be corrected so as to deserve 5-stars with a better implementation of the different tenses.

Characters can definitely be improved, by the scaling up of their positive and negative attributes and a better showing of these.

The last suggestion would be to read up on puzzles and traps, if not on the technical side, then on the psychological.

Roxt
Overall

This is shaping up to be a very good story. Written in understandable english with a minimum of typos and grammer flaws... practicaly makes it to the top stories list with that alone.

BoredBeyondBelief
Overall

Updates are slow but this is one ranked #3 on my best dungeon story list

#1 Dwarf's dungeon

#2 Boundless Dungeon

#3 this

#4 Slimes Dungeon

#5 Instinct Dungeon

Anyways, I prefer this over his other novels.

Lawkz
Overall

Very Good, but too short

The only reason i don't give it 5 stars is that there are too few chapters. (22 by the time of writing and the last chapter is from 5 months ago) Once the story is more substantial (between 60 and 120 chapters) i will reconsider the score.

I feel that the dungeon core wishing to be reborn as something other than a dungeon core to be somewhat forced, he doesn't give the impression to know enough about other lifestyles to be atracted to them and i feel he wouldn't feel comfortable without a high intelect so i would expect him to actually shun being reborn as anything that isn't very smart.
The call for a sage also seems slightly forced but less so, since it matches up with the MC's desire to change his path in life.

But those complaints are just nitpicks and aren't even worth half a star imo. The rest of the novel doesn't give me the feeling of forced progression. The tension buildup is well paced and doesn't linger enough to turn into anxiety (something many webnovels do) and as long as the author can keep making entertaining situations without turning to cheap plot progression (end of the world threat, evil religions, misunderstandings, that kind of thing) i can see this becoming one of my all time favorites.

Also, please, PLEASE be careful with the chapter sections not focusing on the MC, that can get really really boring, i've seen many novels become unbearable by giving tons of attention to characters and events that the reader was never given a reason to care about.
So far it's been rather swell since you have focused on characters nearby the MC and the MC's lack of mobility kind of limits his proactivity, just please remember that sometimes it's better to just let the reader find out about things together with the MC.

Minor spoiler ahead
Spoiler
: Spoiler

 TL;DR: Wait until there are more chapters and read the sh*t out of this story 

Drasius
Overall

Sadly, i was heavily invested in this story.  It started out excellent, building up an interesting world with interesting characters and getting me invested in the development.
This changed pretty much in the final released chapters, in a way that i feel undermines all the good points before it.  The specifics are heavily spoilery, outlined below.

 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

OregonBlue80
Overall

Good story - hope author will continue

Reviewed at: 1-1: Starting Over With Nothing

I really am enjoying this story so far, I like the variety of characters and also like to mystery behind the voice of the world. Some concerns that the author has abandoned this story but I can keep hoping that the author will pick back up with the story. I usually avoid blue screen stories as I find the blue screens to be opposite of what a fantasy story should be but the mystery behind this one makes it all worth it. 

Appealing to the author to keep writing on this one.