Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

For centuries, the Lord-Inquisitors of the Church of the Holy Ark have hunted Mindrippers with a single-mindedness that bordered on obsession. In an age of musket and cannon, the hunt leads them to the ancient city of Dilgan where women are being butchered by an unknown killer. Here, Enk Gueye, the young scion of a noble house, wakes from a nightmare to discover he can read—and control—other people’s minds. He thinks he’s a god, but the Lord-Inquisitors have another name for what he has become: Mindripper.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 9,428
  • Average Views :
  • 725
  • Followers :
  • 95
  • Favorites :
  • 22
  • Ratings :
  • 29
  • Pages :
  • 65
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report


Word Count (VII)
Fledgling Reviewer (II)
Top List #2000
6th Anniversary
10 Review Upvotes

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Sort by:

i think it's pretty good, but it is hard for me to follow. One moment were talking about the main character, next were jumping to a group of people who seemed to be after the main character? then we hop into another area in an instant.kinda like this: at main characterr's house. then off at some other guy POV, then the MC is at a prison??? then he's running. then he's with his friend. then he;'s back at his house. then he sees mom having sex with someone. then were somewhere else. even though you explain it at some point later, someone who is not reading cloosely will miss stuff. it feels like you just decided to skip over parts of the story. as i read it i feel like parts are missing. I'm not someone who can read closely, as a tend to forget as i read, but with this i feel like if i forget something. I'm going to have to comb through with a fine comb and read closely to see if i can find something that I missed. other than the fact that the story seems disjointed like there were pages ripped out of the book, i enjoy it.


Style: 3.5 of 5

The very first chapter was highly reminiscent of Brandon Sanderson's writing style and called to the use of metals dusts to resist the influence of the Mindrippers (super powered telepaths). There is an unknown setting balance that presents as the author is trying attempting to go in two directions at once. For example, the main character – is he the light in a dystopian world? Is he an anti-hero in a world with a complicated environment?

I’m even a bit confused if he is strong of mind or weak of mind. The text of the story alludes to him being intelligent but his actions are hard to understand in that light. Hypothetically, you wake up with a superpower – What do you do first? I think we’ve all plotted this out at some point in our lives. Step 1: Call in sick to school/work until we are sure we can control ourselves. Step 2: Research. Step 3: Tell NO ONE. This MC follows a different tact.

There is also some difficulty with telling which are the MCs thoughts and which are other’s thoughts and which are other’s thoughts that the MC is picking up.


Story: 2.5 of 5

The story is very new and not fully fleshed. Not able to rate the plot until it is revealed further. Leaving rating neutral.

Grammar: 5 of 5

Author strives to use advanced word choices and composition style – it is evident that they’ve sought tutelage in creative writing techniques. Occasionally, the wrong word is used but that is an editing thing, or a second language thing, and easily forgiven. (ie. symphony where sympathy should be)

Character: 4 of 5

The author is very focused on giving characters body – an admirable direction to go in the inception of a story. The actual settings are suffering for it a bit – which is fine if they are going places quickly but as things stand I don’t know if the MC resides in a big house, a little house, has many servants, one servant, etc – Does the MC live in a big city? Little city? Do they live outside of town? Or a large estate in town? Are there 10 people in each of his classes? Are there other classes occurring concurrently? The building of the school is probably a single floor or there would have been section regarding the MC climbing stairs.

Summary: I’d say the story is worth reading – I’ll be back in another 5 or so chapters to see what directions things went!


This started out as a review swap and turned into a binge reading session.

Style: The author writes with a style that doesn't always flow smoothly for me. By that, I mean that there were times I found myself re-reading paragraphs every so often thinking I had overlooked some information, only to find the information in the next paragraph. As long as you read the story slowly and carefully, you'll get exactly what the is saying.

On a side note, it was hard for me to keep names straight because I'm not used to the type used in the story. That's really more on me than anything.

Grammar: Impeccable.

Story: If you asked me to describe where this story is going, I would honestly have no idea, but I'm really enjoying the ride. The author does a great job of starting small and expanding the world chapter by chapter rather than dumping overloading the reader in the beginning.

There are some details that I would like to know, as mentioned at the end of LECOMPTE's review, but given some of the themes, it makes me think of a Paris/London-like city in the late 1500s-ish, which seems to fit with how I visualize the story.

With a murderer thrown into the mix, the story seems to really be heating up in its 9th chapter which is really interesting me. I'm finding this hard to put down. 

Character: The author does a good job of fleshing out some initial characters and establishing how they relate to the main character. One thing that made me pause was that between the MC's discovery of his power and 1.08, he seems to grasp what he can and cannot do very quickly, without much testing. That's not necessarily a bad thing, just seemed like sudden progress.

Overall: This is a really well-written story that interested me early on and is only deepening that interest as it goes on. I'm very curious to see how it progresses and am eagerly awaiting the new chapter. Give me more, because I need a fix.


Good story.  Now completed.  Basically, a psychological thriller.  A bit of "acid trip", due to nature of magic portrayed (mind mage, open to "spiritual stuff", hence "abyss stares back"), etc., but still.