The Last Philosopher

The Last Philosopher

by nickfeast

Before everything, it’s assumed there was nothing, but what if there was no real difference between the two? Just two extreme philosophies from the original conflict.

The planet Huom has been under observation for longer than should technically be possible. The primary watcher, a bitter black-hole, is excited to see that there is finally a proverbial Darkness at the end of the tunnel.

Meanwhile on the planet, in the freezing mountains of Empris, Lyeasrakardsul, the oldest living sorcerer suffers from devastating nightmares. At the same time — far away in the sandstone desert of Zenon — Herschel, a man filled to the brim with strange ideas is escaping a prison filled with strange old men.

What does all this have to do with arsehole Gods, hairy Dwarfs, frustrated Afreets, curious Knomes, lizard-women, and nude Áettar? Perhaps Nothing, perhaps Everything… but why can’t it be both?

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The Keeper

Group Leader (IV)
Word Smith (VI)
3rd Anniversary
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1, With a capital D ago
Insomnia in the sorcerers’ city ago
The rule of rules ago
Escape from Zig-Zig ago
What, is that the question ago
What about the hows and whys ago
Further than possible ago
Empris becoming a nation ago
The Khmur desert ago
Present in the penthouse ago
The spawning of an Afreet ago
Chapter 2, The P-wyrd ago
Finding Herschel ago
P-wyrds and fading stars ago
Crossing the Khmur ago
Frel in not Agalaland ago
Lingur's stories ago
Manhunt in Agalaland ago
Talkin 'bout Ms Skvosip ago
On the square ago
Twenty years a marshal ago
The P-word in Fenmark ago
Strange, stranger, Áettar ago
The plan ago
The order of perpetual drunkenness ago
Fetching Rascal ago
Left holding the bag ago
Is something really better than nothing? ago
Sulenthvorenth's agenda ago
Whose trap is it anyway ago
Merrywither farm ago
The plan ago
The trap ago
A traditional lynching ago
Between a Rock and P-word ago
The stench of a Knome ago
The administrators ago
Between a headmaster and a hard place ago
Less than possible ago
Who helps the helper ago
Saving an askhole ago
Ms Skvosip's, um, help ago
Dummies helping themselves ago
The strangest of meetings ago
Disrespecting the afterlife ago
Two wyrd ago
Three brothers and a baby ago
Good times ain't cheap ago
The judgening ago

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Everything works fine except for a few grammatical errors here and there. I know the struggle of writing and trying to get everything right because I also write. I have had two books receive less than positive reviews. But I digress, keep at it Author, you're writing and grammer will improve with time.


I recommend all new readers to give it a try, read about 5 or 6 chapters, then make your final decisions on the book. If you don't like it, you're missing out, if you do like it, then keep reading and enjoy.


I need to add more words for the review to be valid. Words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words.


Long names are cool, after all. Who doesnt want a size competition in that regard. I can hardly even remember anything about it, except for just who absolutely gargantuan it was. Truly impressive right there.

With that out of the way, I don't really have much to say about this story. It has humor from the start, with an arrogant astral ass spreading his unwanted wisdom everything, while also providing enough character depth that you can really feel how screwed some of the people in it are. Loved it.

5/5 from me


Initial thoughts before reading: This seems like a fun story, the potential for highfalutin jargon is a smidge high for my liking but that's the consequence of having a story that relies on philosophy as a main factor. 


Hook - It's exactly as a hook should be. It's brought in right away, it made me interested, and mentions of it kept me interested through the next few chapters. 

Characters - I assume we won't see Dick and Huam again but your personification of a black hole was hilarious while it lasted. Aside from those two and brief mentions of the Darkness, the only character we get a good look at is Lyeasrakardsul -- a grumpy old wizard. 

I mean... 

High sorcerer. 

I found Lyeasrakardsul concerningly relatable, as I too am a grumpy, achy old man who talks to his own reflection while in the throes of self-inflicted insomnia. 

Throughout the chapters I read he was written with stable and even characterization. His actions and demeanor made sense, everything you added about him worked with everything that had been previously established, and it all related back to the plot and setting well. The bunny slippers were a little out of place, but not jarringly so. It was just strange to imagine all the spooky atmospheric wizard stuff and then bam! Pink bunny slippers right in the middle of it. This is humour though, a little shock is good for that sort of thing. 

Style - I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of highfalutin jargon. Nothing to make my brain hurt. The deadpan humor was right up my alley and I did that little nose-exhale thing several times. That's good, you know, some comedians work hard for that. 

The humor element wasn't overpowering either; imagery and characterization are also both strengths here. It all mixes really well to carry moi, the reader, through three chapters of what was essentially worldbuilding. 

Grammar - Passed with flying colors. 

Formatting - The pictures at the start of every chapter were a nice touch, it shows you've put a lot of time and effort into this project. 


Final thoughts: 

9.5/10, would continue reading.