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A note from Anonymous Buttfart

It would be lot helpful, If you guys find any error or critics. Thank you

I am standing on a magic teleportation circle like those in the mangas. It’s about 5 meters in diameter.
I am wearing the white robe and the God also gave me a mysterious magical staff.

“Is this safe, right?”, I asked nervously.

“It is. You should learn to have faith in God! I can’t believe, such a young human being as my companion but I still believe in Lord Yahweh.” scowled the magical staff.

Yeah, God bestowed me a magical staff!

I was pretty excited first.
Then it started to talk, I was more impressed.
But then he kept on talking which became a bit annoying.

He is like, my class teacher who always nagged around!

“GOD!? Could I have any other weapon? I don’t like this nagging old fart!”, I asked Lord Yahweh.
He was standing just outside the magic circle as he channeled mana through his palms.

“HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME! I have escorted about hundreds of Prophet in my life! But none of them had a terrible personality, like you! I have even accompanied prophets on earth as well! They were a lot well mannered than you!”, scowled the magical short-tempered talking staff.

“Shut your yapping for a second, will you”, I replied smugly.

“How dare you, you insolent brat-”, the staff continued.

I ignored his rambling,
“God? Will I get any magical power? Something like the heroes in Marvels comic? Or something like an overpowered anime character?” I asked cheerfully.

“Yes, indeed you shall be bestowed with a power!”, God replied.

“WHAT POWER?! WHAT IS IT? Something like Superman or Goku? Can I vomit fire?..”

“Shut your barking, arrogant brat! Let lord Yahweh decide what’s good for you!”, interrupted the annoying staff.
He is the one who barks the most.

“You shall find out yourself when you reach! Good luck!”, answered God.

“But still God-”, before I could finish, the magic circle started to glow.

A disk of light emerged above my head which had the exact diameter that of the magic circle and my body started to levitate. A force began to pull me towards that disk like portal.

I glanced at God, who stood smilingly.
“By the way, I am straight.” was his last words. The next second I was inside another dimension.

I knew Lord Yahweh is kinky.

The current dimension I am in, was similar to the first one when I died.
Except the colors are little vibrant. The constant white waves swayed towards a white hole that was pulling us in the same direction.

The hole grew brighter and bigger by every time it reached closer.

I tried to ask my staff but failed as the dimension seems seized my voice.

We entered the white hole and the light was very bright that I was blinded and couldn’t see anything at all. I closed my eyes shut for about a minute or so.

The light started to fade and then I slowly opened my eyes.

A beautiful scenery appeared out of nowhere!
A beautiful green forest with trees that were bigger than any buildings. There was crystal blue lake which shined as it reflected the sunlight. Mountains whose tip disappeared behind the clouds. Some flock of birds just passed beside me that I have never seen that one on earth tho.

Then my eyes fell on something.

WAIT A SECOND?! Is that what I think, That is?
There I saw an enormous beast whose red scales glittered returning the sunlight. It was pretty far away but I could still identify it clearly!

A FUCKING DRAGON!
It flew in the midst of the clouds towards the mountains.

Is this really happening!? Am I in a fantasy world that all the fiction and anime lover urged for?

OH, my GOD! I am so happy that I can even eat noodles from my nostrils!
I shall stuff it inside my nose forcefully even if it didn’t reach my stomach.
This is so unreally, REAL! That it didn't feel real!

“Hey, brat are you alright!! If alive, say something!”, the voice of the talking staff interrupted me.

I realized that I was in mid-air.
The light disk was above my head but this time it pushed me down slowly towards the ground.

“Hey don’t disturb me while I am midst an important conversation!”, I frowned.

I was still holding on to the annoying magical staff. If it wasn’t God's will! I would have dumped him in the oceans with heavy stones tied to it. Just so no one else has to suffer his nags like I am doing, right now.

“Conversation? With whom? You didn’t even say a word since we came out through the portal. Just glared around.”, said the staff.

“This is called self-monologue conversation within my head! It's forbidden to eavesdrop as well.”, I replied.

“What a strange guy, you are!”

That’s right having a monologue is spooky but it’s common for me. I had no friends so I used to talk to myself many times!
The servants in the mansion used to get crept so I started to talk inside my head, instead.

We soon landed on the ground.
The portal disk shrunk and disappeared!

We landed on an unpaved road that runs through a forest. The roads seem desolated and I can’t see any passerby near.
Guess people don’t travel through here, much often.

Anyway, the first thing I need to check out that which power am I having.
Something like emitting fire, or superhuman strength or I can fly or both.

I am really excited!

“Umm brat? Are you alright?”, asked the staff worriedly.

“Wow! What’s with the worrywart, all of a sudden? Hey wait for a second-” The staff seems taller than before.

What? The forest also seems growing!

What’s happening?!

“Okay listen brat don’t panic just take it easy and look at your feet.”, said the staff.

I did. My legs started to sink into the ground while the ground cracking up.

“Quicksand?!”, I tightened my grip on the staff.

“Hey don’t grab me tightly like that! I shall be buried as well.”, shouted the staff.

“If I die! You die! Who the fuck lands on a quicksand! I am out of here.”

My legs were already knee-deep in the ground.

I tried to walk but instead, I lost my balance and fall on my back.

“Damn it!”, I shrieked.

“Listen, kid! This is no quicksand work but it's your own fault!” said the staff in a deep serious voice.

“Are you, nuts? Have you lost your mind while traveling through the portal or what? Save me! Aren’t you supposed to be magical staff? Do some magic beside talking and save me”, I cried out.

The ground underneath started to pull me. The ground dirt started to flood my ears.

I used my hands to take support on the floor and lifted my head to clear out that dirt inside my ear.

Strangely it was very different than the quicksand on earth. The ground looked pretty hard and sturdy and it started to crack open where I was.

“Boy quickly lay on the ground and stretch out your legs and arms.” screamed the staff.

I did.

The sinking didn’t stop but slowed down a lot.

“I should try to roll away from this pavement and get on the grassy forest?” I said.

“STOP! Don’t dare to move a muscle and hear me out first.”, screamed the staff.

Well, the staff really seemed very serious.

“Listen up boy! The forest floor won’t save you either! This is your power that’s making you sink into the ground!”,

“What shitty power is this?”

“This is no ordinary power! You have been bestowed with the power of mass and density from Lord Yahweh.”

“Power of mass and what?”

“The ability to increase and decrease the mass and density of your body. According to your free will! Currently, the mass and density of your body are very heavy that the ground cannot withstand it. Hence the ground below your feet started to submerge you inside!”, explained the staff.

“What kind of trash power is this? Just stop it, already! The dirt has already started to enter my ear.”

“This power ain't no trash! This is the rarest ability that the first prophet and only a few other prophets had. You should be merciful that you received this power. I don’t know why Lord Yahweh chose you, but I have faith in his judgment. So don’t dare to insult this power or else you-”

“For fuck sake! Get me out of here, first!”, I interrupted.

He was so immersed in his monologue conversation.

“Oh, my apologies. I almost forgot about our situation.”

“It’s about time that you could do something magical and save me, other than talking.”, I asked eagerly.

“Once again I have to apologize. I can’t save you”, the staff replied.

“Oh great ... wait, what??”

“Yes, this is your power. So you, yourself has to solve it on your own.” , said the staff bluntly.

“Stop shitting me! What is this shitty power which makes me overweight?!”

“You're lucky that Lord Yahweh even gave-”

“Shut the fuck up! Could you really do anything magical besides babbling!? What a worthless piece of stick, you are!”

“How dare you to insult me with the abusive words. I am the most -”

I looked up at the empty sky and screamed top my lungs,
“CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE ME!”

So thus my adventurous began in the new and mysterious world called as Estayphus.

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About the author

Anonymous Buttfart

  • The day I start earning through writing, I will finally find humans dumb enough than me :3

Bio: I didn't fart.

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