Did the lights go out?
Why it’s so dark and cold.
I am scared.
What is this place?
Where am I?
How did I reach here?
There isn’t even a speck of sound either.
What the heck is this place?
It’s very lonely.
But at the same time I have a nostalgic feeling.
Why do I feel vague connection with this room?
This place reminds me of myself. This place is where I belong.
This similarity between me and this room is that loneliness is common between us.
I feel like this is my home except it was not dark as this place tho.
My home has the similar atmosphere.
I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I lived in a huge mansion with several dozen of maids and butlers for my service just with a sound of my finger snaps. It seems very luxurious easy going life, but it wasn’t.
My father went missing when I was 3-year-old and was never seen again. No one knows his whereabouts. So my mom stepped up his in his stead and took over his company. She raised me as a single mother but was never home. She was out of the country most of the time. Hence, I was raised by the maids and butlers.
My mom used her money and fame to enroll me in a prestigious school but I never wanted to go in one. I never wanted to attend school at all.
From kindergarten, I never had a friend.
No one wanted to be my friend, everyone avoided me because I have a scary face.
My teeth are sharp as if it belonged to a carnivorous beast and my eyes were broad which made me look as if I was angry even tho I am not. This looks were passed on me by my mother. There was a rumor, people say that father ran away because my mom looked scary. My mom took it as a joke but I know how she feels when such arguments about her face were made.
The same thing repeated with me.
They looked me like if I was infected with disease. They thought I could eat people if they ever try to pester me.
I tried to make a friendly conversation, but they just made an excuse and ran away.
I read many books and researched about “how to interact with people”, “how to make friends”, etc books. But everything I do, resulted in a failure.
“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” -Thomas Paine.
Yeah I believed it, a smile would solve everything. But it did no shit. Just worsen my condition.
Every time I smile at people the more feared and distant they become. My smile was more like an evil grin which was never my intent. The smile backfired and then many weird rumors also started circulating about me.
I am named Freddy, the baby eater.
Hence I gave up on myself, and abandoned any hope of ever making friends.
Just became shut-in otaku. Playing games and watching anime. I even behaved like a delinquent. I became what people thought, I was.
Than mom came back in an urgent business trip near hometown. She was disheartened to see my condition.
After meeting mom, I suddenly cried and told her everything, like a baby. Complained and complained about everything and everyone, how they treated me. I almost blamed her for giving her looks.
I don’t know what I was saying, I know it’s not her fault, if I had her looks. But I wanted to relieve my anger, so I chose her. I cursed her and even my grandparents. I told she looks like demon and because of that I was born as demon. I was pissed and my mouth went out of control. I told her that because of her scary face, even daddy left her and she deserved it.
When she heard this she held me by the shoulders. I got scared and closed my eyes shut, thinking I would be slapped. I restrained my left cheek muscles ready to take the beating.
But instead, she hugged me.
She wept along with me.
I don’t know what just happened but, the sense of guilty overwhelmed me. I huged her back and cried.
“Sorry my son, I know. That because of the ugly scary face have made you an outcast. But remember this. ‘People don’t change for people. People change for themselves.’ So no matter what you look like, always follow your heart. This world will judge you by your looks but there will be a time when people see through your scary face and see the real you. When those people come, they will respect you and will be your ally. They are the real friends, who shall fight with this world by being on your side.”
She wiped her tears and gave me a gallant smile. Although it looks scary but I could see the warmth in that smile, that I never saw before,
“Your father saw the real me, and that’s the reason he made me his wife. Never ever he will abandon me or you for such petty reasons, he must be in trouble and I know that one day he will return. So don’t change yourself because people think you are evil. You must have patience for the day when real friends will appear.”
She returned back to her business trip after that. She stayed over for a just a night but it felt as it was life times worth. I gained a ray of hope and again set my motive to make friends.
She told me stories about herself and my father all night. We didn’t had a wink of sleep. She told me how she helped her father, fight thugs who had ganged up on him. She beat the crap out of the thugs and that’s when father fall for her and proposed in that instant.
The story doesn’t sound romantic at all. Wasn’t it supposed to go other way round? But my eyes glittered with respect towards mom. And that motivated me.
I devised a plan to make a friends.
People think I am an evil delinquent thug in his teens, which I am not. So to change people’s perspective and to show the real me. I came to a conclusion.
I shall perform a heroic deed, people will stop thinking ill and instead shower me with respect. I shall become famous and everyone in my middle school would try to befriend me, just after seeing how nice person, I am and not an delinquent thug. All people would praise me and I can even score a girlfriend if all went well.
My plan was made with pure and noble intent. I thought I would reveal my inner self and everyone will respect me instead.
But I never thought my plan to become hero would backfire as the same way as did my smile.
Well worst case, scenario. I thought this plan would fail miserably.
But I never thought I would DIE.