Painting the Mists

by redmirage

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Multiple Lead Characters Reincarnation Supernatural Wuxia Xianxia

Du Cha Ming was a normal person. Going with the flow, never making any real decisions. But then as Cha Ming begins to question his place in the universe, a fateful encounter gives him another chance at life. A chance that takes him to a place where he can make his own destiny.

Reborn in an ancient land filled with demons, devils, and angels, Cha Ming finds himself facing challenges he never imagined. He soon discovers that only the powerful get to make choices, and the rest don’t get a say at all.

Prior to his mysterious rebirth, he was left with a riddle, one that will change his life, for better or for worse. But who left this riddle? And why was he sent here?

Cha Ming sets out to find the answers, because if he doesn’t, he may lose himself and everything he holds dear.

Note: This is an Eastern Fantasy series, and the precise genre is Xianxia. It contains martial arts, cultivation, immortals, demons, Chinese culture, and elements of Buddhism and Daoism. The story will be split between several character view points, but the focus will be on the main character and his journey towards immortality.

Now I will tell you what this story isn’t about:

  1. Harems.
  2. Excessive face slapping.
  3. One unreasonable young master after another.
  4. Unreasonable villains. Therefore, don’t expect the MC to have his provoke skill activated at all times.
  5. Constantly underestimated MC.
  6. A morally questionable MC.

 

If all of these things about typical Xianxia novels bother you, you’ve come to the right place.

Disclaimer – This is a sample of Book 1. As this book is available on KU, exclusivity requires that I keep at most 10% of the book available on RoyalRoad. If you like what you’re reading so far, consider purchasing the book on kindle or reading for free on Kindle Unlimited. Many thanks for your understanding. Asside from this sample, I will be posting rough, unedited drafts prior to uploading onto Kindle and KU. Though it won't be in the cleanest form, this will give a chance for everyone who started the series to finish it.

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Redroajs1
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Awesome story and my criticism of it

Hello there, I'm a new reader of the story. If you are simply reading this to get a review of whether the story is good or not, I'll just say right from the get go that it is an excellent story with a very good pace, very interesting characters, and an intriguing plot. You should definitely go ahead and read it. Now if you are still reading this, then know that the criticism I am about to give does not mean that I think it's a bad story, not in any way at all, it is only given because I hope the readers and the author understands the type of impact certain aspects of this story can have. I think one of the fundamental aspects of the story, the concept of "true choice" seems a bit misguided. I mean, I won't go into philosophical or physics based debate on whether choice could or couldn't exist (there are very valid arguments on both sides) since this is a work of fiction, and as such obviously a degree of suspension of disbelief is required. But, I have a major issue with the way the concept is portrayed in the story.

True choice in the story seems to be portrayed as a way of choosing the "path less trodden" so to speak. The main character seems to think that the suggestions that society have, both on earth and on the cultivation world, are not the right paths to follow, simply since it would be "going with the flow" and conforming to the norm. The thing is, more often than not, those suggestions are there because of a collective wisdom of the society. Now, I would be the first in line to question societal norms, since I never accept anything without putting it through sufficient scrutiny. For instance, slavery and accepting that the sun went around the earth were societal norms at one point, and obviously those were not the right way to do things.

But, even then, most of the societal norms at the time, were effective for living in that time. Disobey the church in the medieval times in europe and you wouldn't live very long. Instead of following the traffic rules, carve your own path through the city, walk through alleyways and cross roads disregarding the suggestions of the traffic lights, and while there is a small chance that you will get to your destination faster, there is a much higher chance that you will end up dead. It is alright to deviate slightly from the well trodden path, that's what caused humans to progress so far so quickly. It's what caused us to find the new edible fruits, what caused the societal rules to evolve slowly for the better, what could get you to your destination faster if you cross the road at a green light but only after checking that there are no cars on the road.

Calculated small risk, arisen from taking a slight deviation away from the path well trodden, is what causes progress. The mc, on the other hand, seems to consistently keep taking the path right through the wilderness, well away from any path well trodden, and oftentimes while knowing why the path he is taking is wrong, and yet still forcing himself to take it, simply because doing otherwise would make him become one of those who only went with the flow, and we obviously couldn't have that! That'd make him too much like a mindless sheep that only knew how to follow with the pack! And yet even after consistently taking the path through the wilderness, it never seems to come back to bite him in any significant way and so he keeps on trodding on the path through the wilderness, with no consequences whatsoever.

People may say, "Well this is just a story, why do you have to be such a party pooper?" and I understand their criticism, I really do. But the reason I have such a big issue with this, honestly speaking, is because it is at the core of what has caused quite a few of the largest problems in modern society. The drive to be unique has become rampant in modern society, and understandably so, since in cities (where the majority of humans in modern societies live) there are simply so many other humans in such confined small areas that it is very easy to feel as though you are just one among many, severely insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

This couldn't be farther from the truth, since the reason you matter is not because you have to be unique to have an impact on society, but rather because you have a constant impact on those close to you. The effect you have on your friends and family ripple into having an impact on their friends and family, and this is at the root of individualism, the core of western democracies. You matter because you have a direct and significant impact on society at all times. All your actions matter and that's why you matter. There is no reason to constantly force yourself to strive to be different and unique at all times in all things, because being unique and taking the path through the wilderness is not what is required to have a significant impact on your or other peoples' fate.

Broader societal reasons aside, there are concrete issues that now happen on a regular basis that impact the lives of many youths today because media such as movies, games, and tv shows have decided to portray the mentality of the mc, the mentality of choosing the path less trodden and being unique, as the right mentality, and portray it without showing any consequences of such actions, as is similarly done in this story. There are many youths who get tattoos that they severely regret later in life because it hampers their ability to get a good job, there are many youths who try to do dangerous acts and record them to post online but instead end up in jail or severely wounded or dead, there are many youths who take majors like gender studies or religious studies in university and later severely regret it because they find that those majors do not help them find any jobs and instead only cripple them with debt, all because they want to be unique, because they want to be different, because they want to not follow advice, because they want to not follow societal norms, because they want to follow the path less trodden, because the media around them has constantly told them that being unique is the only way to have any impact on society and on their own lives. This is why I have an issue with the way "true choice" is portrayed in this story.

Now, I am in no way, shape, or form, saying that this is a bad story. Neither am I even saying that the author should stop portraying taking the path less trodden as being the right path and the path without any significant consequences. Not at all. I'm enjoying the story immensely as is and I once again recommend it to everyone. But, I think that both the readers and the author should be aware of the broader implications their actions have, because as I have already said, all of your actions have a direct impact on society, regardless of whether you are unique or not, and it is imperative to be aware of that before taking any action, because it is both a great power and a great responsibility at the same time. Anyways, I wish the author the best of luck and hope they keep up the awesome work! And if for some weird reason you are still reading this, I hope you have an excellent day! :)

Futhark the Elder
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Xianxia the way it should be

Like many on RRL, I read a lot of xianxia and wuxia. I must also admit that I give up on almost all of them because of the repeated use of idiot plot. (Idiot plot — when the protagonist does something stupid and the plot is then driven by his attempts to dig himself out of the hole he’s dug for himself.)

To my pleasant satisfaction, this xianxia story has a protagonist who is consistently sensible. He’s also loyal to his friends and doesn’t take advantage of the kindness of others. You’d think this is the way it should be. I also reckon it’s the way it should be, but it so seldom is in xianxia.

So far I’ve read book 1, which was excellent, and have begun book 2, for which I have high hopes. It is just so bloody nice to have a main character who doesn’t frustrate and disappoint you with attacks of utter imbecility.

The author also deserves a compliment for a good mastery of language and attention to detail. It appears he takes comments seriously and has edited text in response to feedback. This makes the man a treasure. Hats off, sirrah.

Finally, the cultivation system is a novel variation on familiar systems, and has the priceless advantage of being explained clearly to the reader. This is rare in xianxia, either because the original Chinese/Korean author was making it up as he went along or because the translator was incompetent or both. So once again, respects to the author of this story.

patlıcan
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Better than most xianxia stories

 

In conclusion: The story has its problems, especially when it comes to characters, but I still think it's worth giving it a try. It is definitely better than a good portion of wuxia/xianxia stories. And from what I've seen from him so far, author is genuinely trying to improve, so good luck and keep it up.

 

It's a bit more realistic take on xianxia stories. Some of the arguably annoying cliches of the genre are moderated, like people valuing 'face' more than life. It's refreshing to see such a story.

There is a weird seperate story-line going on with afterworld, mostly from the viewpoint of "King Yama", the apparent ruler of the underworld. I honestly am not a fan of this side story so far. I like neither the worldbuilding nor the characters of the underworld. It seems cartoonish and childish and comedic, but it obviously is important to the main story from what we've seen, and it's style doesn't fit the story in general.

The characters, as you can see from the scores, are my least favorite part of the story. Especially when it comes to female characters it'd honestly be better off if they were written off. The author is trying to redeem them but the best I can say about that effort at this point is that at least he is trying.

Point of view changes are poorly executed, and they suffer even more because characterizations of the side characters those chapters focus on are really not good. A lot of the time, pov changes are abrupt and distruptive to the flow of the story. A good way to judge different point of views for me, if a story has them often, is to isolate different povs and judge them seperately. Because in my opinion, if you are going to spend a significant amount of time on telling the story from a certain character's point of view, it should be worth reading; otherwise you're better off spending that time on other characters where the pov is actually enjoyable for the reader instead of just being something to tolerate because they enjoy the story at large. When you look at the different povs in the story; Cha Ming, Wang Jun, Gong Lan, Hong Xin, King Yama and Pet/Child/Compainon; Cha Ming and Gong Lan's are for me the only decent ones. I honestly stopped even reading Wang Jun's and Hong Xin's stories at this point.

Edit: moved the conclusion to the start for prospective readers that want to avoid the wall of text review. 

some_total_kretin
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Refreshing take on xianxia? HELL NO!

Boy, reading this again in the morning I realize that I was in a really bad mood when I wrote this. The author even wrote me to give this a fair chance and try it again and read further this time, vaguely talking about it getting better later on. Maybe I will. But I will still leave the original text here, under the updated version.

 

I should also clarify that I could not get over chapter 13 of book 1 and that the author seems to think it gets better. I don't know, didn't read further because I could not.

My original gripe with this still stands, so let's formulate it with less venom this time.

The characters might as well have been taken off of a steam press, as flat as they are at the start - basically a trope for everything. I will give it a chance and say that they might get better even if I don't think so.

When you start your charaters as cutouts of anime stereotypes, there is usually very little that can be done afterwards - you don't get savory broth from a base of a sweetcake. Not saying that sweetcake could not be done competently, but that would in my opinion require a little bit of rewrite and some fleshing out of characters when introducing them, so that the sweetcake is not done from a bought powder mix.

So far it's just meeting anime character 25-a, briefly telling us their name, hinting at their trick and rushing them off stage for the wish fullfillment to take place.

The saving grace for main character is that it's a grown man in tall muscular teenager's body (yahoo! the dream of every jaded adult!) with very handsome face.

There was pretty much no main character development up to this point, because the character is an adult, thus basically developed. He is not complete moron, nor is he a chyunibiu (or how is it written) or a dense mofo with a harem of eye candy. He is an engineer that decided that he will do thigs his way (and that is basically his only defining trait so far). There was no struggle for the character to go through yet, so it could develop further. Let's hope there will be later on.

As I wrote below, the thing that frustrates me the most about this is that this boasts of removing the young masters, demented decisions, the B class lineup of villains and so on - which I wholeheartedly approve. Yet the biggest childishness of the plot still remains in the wish fullfillment.

The start of book 1 gives me the feeling that you wanted to give it a nice slow atmospheric buildup, but also have a large overarching plot that will leave George Martin lost in the sands of history. In the end you chose to run through the first arc as quickly as possible so you could get to the "real stuff". Not realizing that the reader is left to go through the resulting quagmire of inconsistent pacing and world buildng up by giving main character everything he would need to survive the events up ahead out of nowhere.

Why the frack did you give him ultra super duper cultivation technique by going through the park just on a whim? You basically start nice and slow with basic cultivation technique, and suddenly the hero met an extremely mysterious old man that gave him a super duper ultra cultivation technique that basically removes any hardship he could ever face before he even has to face it. Really poorly defined cultivation technique, even. I had to read through it three times to get an understanding of it.

It seems to me that there was originally some hint of a long training montage and grind and school arc, but in the end it was overly long and an editor crossed it so you filled the important stuff by "fortuitous encounters" and it feels rushed. That's basicall why I stopped reading at chapter 13 of book 1.

If it takes 10 chapters of slowly building up only for it to be jumped over in the next three chapters then why do you even have them. Half of the stuff in the earlier chapters is rendered useless by fortuitous encounter and hint of larger plot in a restaurant dinner and meeting with an elder.

It might even get better with time, but criticism still remains. Why would I get to the later parts if I can't stomach the start. There might as well be the best chocolate cake at the end of this word feast, but I'll pass on it if it means that first I have to eat a cake made of cardboard and asbestos.

And I'm frustrated and mad again....

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ORIGINAL REVIEW:

WARNING! THIS IS A RANT!

So, let me summarize my feelings before i started reading this piece of literature. First thing I noticed was the marketing blurb on the cover, which was catchy. I have to admit that much. Reading about the "xianxia without the obvious cliches" (and then listing them...) and then seeing the avalanche of positive reviews.

That should have tipped me off. Because no matter what story, there should be some criticism to it (yes, even when you're Alexander Dumas). Especially here on RRL. But there is notning in the reviews that even resembles something like harsh critique. Only an ego strokes for the author about "xianxia as it should be" and someone being apologetic for saying that the side characters are flat. Right now I want to take that someone and shove some developed character up their bum.

 

Let's start with the main problem. Every genre, sub genre and niche has something that the readers like and what they come for. That's what I'd like to start with but I have to start deeper.A few thousand years ago there was a guy called Homer that told us about basic story structure in storytelling. Every stinking pulp has an introduction, struggle and an ending. Let's not talk about ending with internet novels, but what makes even the most atrocious slice of life novels radable is a FREAKING struggle with something.

So far (half of book I) I have not seen the main character struggle with ANYTHING. And if the buildup takes HALF of the first book, that means that the author has some serious issues to take up with a competent editor or preferably a shredding machine.

Do not take me wrong, I would love to have the xianxia with the most annoying tropes removed as the author advertizes, but you have to replace what you shear off with something else that represents the struggle or you just end up with not so well written biography.

In xiania, the arrogant young masters, unforgiving society, humble beginnings, secret potential and demented decisions are the spice. The most overused spice in the whole spice rack, but spice nontheless. It's like the embers that are used to grill my juicy tender steak. Lot of the xianxia authors overcook the my steak. You, my dear author, you instead cut off your balls and used a gentle gaze of a spring lamb instead of a fire. And after that you present the raw meat to me as "xianxia". Now that's a tortured metaphore.

You took out the struggle from your book and did not replace it with anything. You hero in the first THIRTEEN chapters got to the city, met subcharacter 32-a wise happy go lucky old man who immediately took him home to show him subcharacter 12-b potential anime love interest and then helped him reveal his "secret talent". After that he is accepted as rare prodigy in all but name in the academy, given rare technique, given superrare unidentified artifact nobody seems to notice, wins fight, is given rarer technique "in a dream sequence", meets subcaracter 64-b rich kid with dark secret who tells him he is not ordinary and is basically a chosen one. Ater that he meets his elder who after some gameplay where he praises him gives him supplies and tells him that making FIVE of the lowest quality talismans is fine to compensate him and we are hinted about some demon queen wife of his. After that I had to stop in disgust.

THERE WAS NO CONFLICT IN IT! NOWHERE IN IT! NO MOTIVATION, NO DRIVE!

Closest we got to conflict was in the beginning where he got kicked by a guard. And his teacher is away for a whole day but is also "so swamped by work he literally can't do anything else"?!

 

Now I have read bad xianxia and I have read this. And I can tell you, this is not a good xianxia, it is a wish fullfillment dream of a thirty years old slowly balding middle aged man, maybe older one who is getting through midlife crisis. One star for readability of text, not for content.

MaiMee
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A Refreshing xianxia. Imperfect, but Good.

Mish-mashing the more western style of story-telling with xianxia, though one that is very close to xuanhuan (fantasy), I might argue, is what made this story good, even with the many imperfections it had. 

While there are some inconsistencies in the characters' choice/actions that makes it seems forced, some obvious plot-hole patchings, and some places where conversations seems a bit odd (maybe due to the way this story is a xross between two cultures), the well–though some may argue not–thought out plot makes up for many of these things. I'm pretty sure the author at least put his thoughts into it though. (And seeing a xianxia that takes up the good points of other genres is just great.)

The author also seems to be improving as it goes. 

(As to why my score averaged to 5 stars, don't ask me. The ratings on thus site is severely bloated, in my opinion at least. This is how I'm trying to make up for it.)

aorel
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A refreshing take on the wuxia genre

I bought and read throught the books on amazon and I enjoyed it all the way. I liked how the author managed to write wuxia without falling in the far to common cliches (like unreasonable young masters, cut and paste side characters only there to marvel at MC power, among others)

The author as obviously gotten better over the course of his series. Book one is a more realistic view on common wuxia story structure and introduces a few mostly generic side characters, but it the story doesn't really go beyond that yet. As book two progresses, the side characters get more fleshed out and the story stucture start to divert out of the common wuxia themes. But book three really feals like the start of a grand advanture. There where some choices in story in the thrid book I wasn't sure I would like, but I like where the arc ended. At that point, it feels like the story so far is only the prologue to a greater story, as the characters finally grow into their own and are set on their respective paths.

I think it is really worth reading. Keep it up!

kao
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First book was binged like crazy! 

I liked the good editing, the grammar usage and the idioms. 

MC was likable and not too overbearing. He does have a small slight cheat ability. But the writer does well enough to build up his powers and skills. So it's not like wham! bam! op ta dah! 

 

Support Characters may need some more work. But still different and distinct enough to stand out. 

World building is like most xianxia or cultivator worlds. So the writer didn't try to be too different from the genre. So if you like cultivator stories its still that. 

You will still have your arrogant people and good people. Like any world. 

My only pet peeve, maybe personal, the MC still retains his memories of old Earth, BUT he doesn't share any of the innovations or changes to the new world. If he doesn't, what's the point of keeping his memories?  In reincarnation transmigration stories, the purpose of keeping old memories is to offer perspective to innovate and allow for change in the new environment. Or at the least, some meaningful impact of the old vs new. Etc. Perhaps I will see that in book 2?...

 

Sure, I'll still give this a 5 star rating. Even in light of that glaring issue. Since the overall story is still very enjoyable. 

 

 

 

Calavente
  • Overall Score

A story really well written, with endearing characters.

I really love the world, the plot (chap 86 atm), and the way magic or cultivation is thought up.

on the narrating side, either the chapters are not long enough, or the narration is too well done that the time doesn't move much, but I feel that "separate-characters-chapters" end too quickly and the character switch is a bit too brutal.

Further, as much as the secondary character get their win-times, the MC rarely get to enjoy a win.

As a commenter said, as soon as he grows (approaches a breakrthough in training), he get a set-back and as soon as he get a win, he get a further set back. (this might not be true for the character himself, as there are some time lapses, but is clearly true for the reader)

On the other hand all of that make him grow and all of that make him feel more real...but still, as a xianxia -litrpg and LN reader I like a bit of enjoyment for the MC and pure training for growth... not only "forced-training just to get out of the pit that the author put the MC into"

roarkindrake
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Pretty great read all things considered. I will say that you may almost stop reading in a few points because the story can be kind of slow but with Wuxia novels thats fairly common.  Cant wait to read the rest of 4 and on to 5 :).

KaapstadMK
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An expertly-written cultivation (xanxia?) story.

RedMirage deftly navigates the cultivation genre, cutting tropes that detract from the genre as a whole and doubling down on its strongest merits.

Gone is the amoral, dog-eat-dog world seen in so many other cultivation novels. Instead, the author utilizes a more functional, worked-through example of Daoist and Buddhist philosophy.

Gone, too, are the overpowered children (or developmentally stunted adults) running amok. This is no Lord of the Flies with cultivation powers. Instead, the main characters are well-actualized, reasonable, mature adults, who are seeking not only what is best for themselves(in the long run, nogal, not merely being short-sighted in their pursuits), but also what is best for their overall society.

Indeed, this story is like a perfectly-aged pu-erh of the finest tea buds.