{The Dragon Within} (Completed)

by SlyOkami

Original COMPLETED Action Adventure Fantasy Tragedy Anti-Hero Lead Magic Male Lead Reincarnation Secret Identity Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Meeting his fate at the hands of seven great heroes, the wicked drake now stands in Death's hall. Met with the Grim Reaper itself.

Defeated and its pride broken, the drake doesn’t beg or grovel, it simply awaits judgement. It waits for the God of the afterlife to send it on its way, to either the heights of bliss and peace or where it knew it would be sent. The depths of agony and torture, the halls of Tartarus, the father of monsters.

Grim looked up from its oaken desk and down at the creature that would have otherwise, if grown wiser and older,  matched the reaper itself in power. Its faceless guise, hidden by a black hood and whirling shadows, it briefly stared at the drake.

“You are unfit for the sky yet also too fit for the abyss,” Grim spoke, its voice a cracking whisper.

“Your time came too soon, the actions you have taken will lead your world to ruin…Be reborn, pitiful serpent. Yet remember what you have done, see what your actions have made that realm into. Let me show you, how your greed and gluttony have warped such a wonderful place and time.”

Grim raised its black-feathered pen towards the beast “Be reborn, as the weak pitiful creature you should have been born as. Take this both as a punishment and…a learning experience. For failure, can be the best teacher.”

The drake took a step back, hoping to escape this cruel fate. Yet none escaped Death, less so its embodiment. Screaming shadows engulfed his form, ripping away at his body and shape. Fangs of darkness sinking deep into his draconic flesh, warping it, changing him into something else…

Opening his eyes, the wicked drake felt none of its power, none of its magic and none of its might. As it stood at the edge of a cliff, looking down upon a ruined valley of rot and miasma. It glanced down at itself, seeing none of its sturdy scales or sharp claws.

The drake had been reborn...

As a Human.



Will also be posting on CreativeNovels found here; CrN

Where chapters will be posted earlier than RRL.

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue; A...Human!? ago
Ch 1 - Born Hunter ago
Ch 2 - His Roar ago
Ch 3 - A Dragon's Resolve ago
Ch 4 - The siege of Beckton ago
Ch 5 - Theaviss ago
Ch 6 - The past ago
Ch 7 - An age old promise ago
Ch 8 - Clash ago
Ch 9 - Xilfir ago
Ch 10 - Treachery ago
Ch 11 - Judgement ago
WriTEathon! ago
Ch 12 - A Warning, and the Melody ago
Ch 13 / Part 1 - Hell's Storm ago
Ch 13 / Part 2 - Hell's Storm ago
Ch 14; Interlude; Grim's Hall...Again? ago
Ch 15 - My way ago
Ch 16 - Solarion ago
Ch 17 - Ever Hungry Spawn of Nightmares ago
Ch 18 - The Last? ago
Ch 19 - Another... ago
The World So Far (Map! And 'Who's your favourite character? :D') ago
Ch 20 - Makaela ago
Ch 21 - The destined encounter! ago
Ch 22 - Brawl ago
Ch 23 - Pyra ago
Ch 24 - Interlude; Brewing Evil ago
Ch 25 - A Yearning ago
Ch 26 - Nerick ago
Ch 27 - It Begins ago
Ch 28 - Training, Day 1 ago
Ch 29 - Determination ago
Ch 30 - Interlude; Dangerous waters ago
Ch 31 - Progress, Week 6 ago
Ch 32 - Unleashing The Dragon ago
Ch 33 - Divine Plots ago
Ch 34 - Shizuka ago
More...Mappage? Mapping? Mapping! ago
Ch 35 - Magic ago
Ch 36 - Arrival at Sinbeni ago
Ch 37 - We shall spark the embers ago
Ch 38 / Part 1 - A Revolution ago
Ch 38 / Part 2 - The Twist ago
Ch 38 / Part 3 - Aftermath ago
Ch 39 - Shadows and their wielders ago
Ch 40 - Our Trust ago
Ch 41 - Interlude; The Night Hunter ago
Ch 42 - The Resolved, the Fallen, and the Vile ago
Ch 43 - Blades and Claws ago
Ch 44 - Before The Storm ago
Ch 45 - The Despair Before Resolve ago
Ch 46 / Part 1 - Who am I? ago
Ch 46 / Part 2 - I Am, Before Thunder ago
Ch 47 - We laugh, We cry ago
Ch 48 - A Forewarning ahead of Farewell ago
Ch 49 - The Crowning ago
Ch 50 / Part 1- Bonds We've Made ago
Ch 50 / Part 2 - Their Strength ago
Ch 51 - Breaking The Tension ago
Ch 52 / Part 1 - Monsters ago
Posting Schedule Poll ago
Ch 52 / Part 2 - The Blade Queen ago
The Character Death Pool (Not a chapter) ago
Ch 53 - Poking the beast ago
Ch 54 - A Dragon's Armoury ago
Some more mappage (Lahihr City Map + Death Pool hint/breakdown + Deadpool 2.0) ago
Ch 55 / Part 1 - The Dragon Empire Invades ago
Ch 55 / Part 2 - Last Words ago
{Off-topic announcement} ago
Ch 55 / Part 3 - It Breaks ago
Ch 56 - A New Age ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 57; The Great War - Part 1; Wingbeat ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 57; The Great War - Part 2; Djiin ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 57; The Great War - Part 3; The Deal ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 57; The Great War - Part 4; The Black Order ago
{Posting schedule, Joining a new site, and more :D} ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 57; The Great War - Part 5; Diplomacy?... ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 58; The Prophecy - Interlude; Insanity ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 58; The Prophecy - Part 1; Relationships? ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 58; The Prophecy - Part 2; Sending a Message ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 58; The Prophecy - Part 3; Makaelaryl ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 58; The Prophecy - Part 4; Plans ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 59; Collapse - Interlude; Messengers and Observers ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 59; Collapse - Part 1; Fairness of War ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 59; Collapse - Part 2; Ascal ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 59; Collapse - Part 3; Kailu and Z ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 59; Collapse - Part 4; A Hellish Duel ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 60; Pieces - Interlude; Believe Beyond Belief ago
Top Web Fiction listing- Accepted?! ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 60; Pieces - Part 1; Upon A Board ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 60; Pieces - Part 2; Fall ago
B2; Chaos - Ch 60; Pieces - Part 3; Come Together ago
B2; Chaos - Epilogue 1; Our Story ago
B2; Chaos - Epilogue 2; Our Dynasty ago
Novel Completion Interview with CrN~ ago
Ch Hype - Daughter of Storm ago
The Dragon Within; Daughter of Storm released! ago
Update ^ ^ ago
Three years ago, I had a mission. ago

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  • Overall Score

Credit where its due, the author has done a great job in the descriptive writing and also in making some really amusing characthers like our rude little wyvren. 

Unfortuley its not enough to support a story which seems rushed and in my opinion has a bad focus. 

The story is suppose to be about the redemption of the lead. However, when you actually look at his actions/personality at the beginning of the story and it at the end, they are functionally identical. He still proactively challenges the wrong/corrupt/evil and still protects/ignores the weak and innocent. This entire aspect seems pointless especially when you consider the thing everyone agreed he did wrong only occured because of special circumstances (no spoliers).

This questionable redepmtion is then made even less engaging by the fact everything seems rushed. Our weak protagonist becomes as strong as the elite within a few chapters and at that point is already saving/leading doomed communities. The initial big bad guy is resolved within a quarter of the story only to then be replaced by big bad guy but stronger and times 3. Furthermore rather then having the characthers fail/experience true loss in some of the confrations every single one of them is saved by some kind of plot device. Its so obvious that its going to happen it feels like the lead would have been able to face the biggest bad guys from chapter 3 and some how won in the first confrantation because plot armour. 

Ultimately I appreciate how difficult this focus was and cudious to the author for following up and developing further. 

  • Overall Score

The premise is interesting, the characters, specially the MC, are very good.

The MC is prideful as a former drake should be, he is not the type to go around helping people but he might on his quest for redemption, although he is definitely not a goody two-shoes. He is ruthless and also knowledgeable about a lot of things but doesn't anything about human, dwarven and elven society so it's going to be interesting seeing travel through those lands.

The grammar is also quite good, specially by RRL standarts.

I have high hopes for this story, we'll just have to wait and see.

Lord Vile
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

What makes this story better than most is the the main character, what a badass. He is a native of the world, hes not a whiney little child, and he has made mistakes that he is working to fix, while developing as a person

There are few grammer mistakes, and few spelling mistakes, so its a great read

The style is rather common, but well done, so again, easy reading

The story is slightly generic fantasy world, but with elements that go beyond the norm, and as the story goes on, show no sign of disappearing, so something to look forward to

The characters are solid, none are 2d, and the main cast is steadily being fleshed out along with the world and protaginist

All in all, a very good read and just keeps getting better and better.

  • Overall Score

Just the sort of thing that I've been looking for lately.

Great characters , and a well written tale. 

Looking forward to see what comes.

  • Overall Score

Once i started reading, i couldn't stop. Although i'm no author nor an editor, i have to say this is a very well written story!

  • Overall Score

Begins alright, grows infuriating.

The beginning is pretty nice, the MC is interesting and i feel like cheering him on, there's a few forced developments but the interesting parts carry the novel on and there's a big climax during a big fight where you feel like the MC's efforts have payed off. And then it all goes to sh*t at chapter 14.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 After that the novel takes a nosedive with the author forcing drama, repeated foreshadowing, boring combat and cringy dialogue. There was a little bit of all that earlier but didn't break the novel because of the interesting interactions of the dragon trying to understand humans and stuff but after the big fight the story just gets buried under paragraphs and paragraphs of self-loathing and foreshadowing.

Chapter 23 and 24 made me want to drop the novel, chapter 25 made me impatient with all the self-loathing and chapter 26 giving focus on a character i was never given a reason to care about was the last straw.

Also, author loves cliffhangers.

  • Overall Score

One of the better stories here.

-0.5 star from incorrect tags. (if author corrects tagging of the story in future i may correct scoring)

-0.5 personally, I dont like stories that include gods that "interfere" in mortal world. later chapters it becomes more apparent.

  • Overall Score

Very awesome idea. And the writing is way better than i expected. But I only gave is a shot because of the sexual content tag lol. I know. But it' what I was looking for at the time. Then the author in one of the later chapters said he wouldn' be writing those scenes. So I am giving it up. It's fun. And if it wasn't a bait n switch I would probably keep reading it.