Radioactive Evolution

by Balr0g

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi Cyberpunk Male Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

Want to hear Jared and Scarlet come to life? Here's a direct link for the YouTube clip where he starts my book! 

 

https://youtu.be/wYu-0RvalW4?t=1814

 

The world as humanity knew it was gone. In its place was a radioactive wasteland, scorched by nuclear furnaces. The third millenium passed unmarked and uncelebrated by those in the safezones. The rich took to the oceans, and to the skies, leaving everyone else behind. Stranded in the isolated "safe zones", with no knowledge of the worlds above their heads.

Igor Jonovich changed everything.

Nanotechnology, long thought to be impossible, flourished under his genius. Even as the walls of their radioactive cage closed in, humanity pushed back, harnessing Jonovich's creations to explore the radioactive wastelands. To challenge the twisted creatures that lurked in the ashes of their former glory. Humanity thought they, at least, knew this scarred earth.

It turns out even that was a lie.

Yesterday Jared found a message hidden within Professor Jonovich's greatest work that changed everything.

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Balr0g

Balr0g

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  • Overall Score
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Good read with room to grow

Summary for Readers:

  • Cyber punk / litrpg story reminiscent of the Merge by MICKR4
  • Diction and grammer are much higher than RRL norm
  • Starts w/ normal MC that luck-falls into world-changing secrets/gains
  • Pacing is a little fast but not jarringly so
  • Overall fun and solidly good read with potential to be one of the good ones.

Critiques/suggestions for author:

  • Although the framework for solid characters is there, i.e. the how's & why's, please spend more time on allowing readers to develop more emotional connections w/ characters. For instance, I felt like I could have appreciated the Queen's actions more if I were more emotionaly vested into her character.  In the same way, if I had seen more interaction with the MC's parents and their life together before the chaos, I might have felt more a part of the story rather than a distant voyeur.
  • Don't stop. Although not currently at the level of the top RRL stories/authors, you have skill and potential.  
  • Take suggestions and critiques, like this one, with a grain of salt. Ultimately you write for yourself, don't let us dictate your story's worth. 
darrasdave
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By rrl standards its not bad.. not a fan tho

The setting is good. The grammar has no mistakes that I noticed, apart from whole sentences in capital letters. (The author pmed me to say he will fix that). The things that brought my rating down are the lack of investment I have in the characters. A good way to improve the characters would be to describe their personality along with their appearance. Such as `he had a stern expression and weathered hands`. As it stands the dragons get the most description by a longshot. I think the character scarlet put me off the story a bit. I like the nanites, monsters and radiation. Thats awesome. I dislike op dragons that help him out for no reason other than he bumped into them and needs a reason to be op. Most stories with op pets tend to have terrible endings in my experience because the main character ends up out pacing them or uses them as an excuse to survive disasters instead of using ingenuity. Overall the story stands out on royalroad because there is not many apocalypse stories set in nuclear fallout and the cover is awesome.

Tycka
  • Overall Score

It was interesting to read at the start chapters, but later it got really bad... At first, I thought that Mc will be cruel to other humans considering that they responsible for his family deaths. But later he just saved a total stranger in front of him... And believed some naive lies, I just hate that kind of idiotic mc's, world setting is post-apocalyptic and taken that in consideration mc automatically should be cold-blooded and focused on surviving at any cost, and not risking his well being for some random people. 

Anyway if you like "good" mc that rather let be injured himself that hurt other then, maybe you like this one as well.

Alexis Keane
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Nice, and with a great deal of potential

TL;DR good, fun, post apocalyptic litrpg. Definitely worth a read.

So... this is pretty good. I, personally, love post apocalypse stories and this one really does tick all the (blue... well, gray) boxes. The grammar is well above average for RRL, although you will find the occassional mistake or two. However, this doesn't really have much of an impact on the story and in no way breaks immersion. The story is just getting started but seems interesting so far and there seems to be a great many options for the story to go down (which is awesome, because I want MOAR). Even with my favorable predisposition towards apocalypse and litrpg novels, this one stands out due to its abundance of imagination. The characters are few so far, but they are enjoyable to read about, my one criticism would be that they are somewhat one dimensional at infrequent intervals and have no distinct persistent and consistent driving force, although this may change as the story progresses. Still, the characters are engaging and a pleasure to come to know. The style is pretty sweet and well above RRL average. It is obvious that the author has spent a good deal of time honing the story to display its full potential, and this shows. There is a slight preponderence on flashbacks to tell backstory and past narrative (which I am personally not that fond of, but to each their own), regardless it is easy reading and the story flows really nicely in a way that compliments the author's long chapters.

:)

Humshell88
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What’s on your dinner menu!!?

Will there be a Gray Goo nightmare?!

Love the nanotechnology, the detailing on how each process works, how the mind, the body all work as one, what your mind and physical body is capable of doing in these type of scenarios and end of the world disastrous events.

Kolt 45-70 and Dragons..what?!
Now this book just got even better! Keep writing more, I'm anxious!!

Crimefridge
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Inflated rating. Not a good read.

Pacing is awful. Setting could be interesting but it is poorly executed. Generic character design. Illogical leaps and plot conveniences to a disgusting degree.

Do not recommend; low potential to be salvaged.

SamHaine
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Could have been interesting, but bad conversation, an overreliance on the rule of cool and oftentimes faulty logic ruin it. 

Zarek212
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a great read and rather enjoyable. has lots of potential to grow and become even better.

Geoffre
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It has a plotline that I've not seen combined before, used separately but not together. It's definitely a hero novel which I personally enjoy and find It harder to find. This can lead to a lot of bad reviews from your antihero fans. One way you can maybe avoid this is making it clear in the prologue what kind of protagonist you're writing about. This will allow those who don't enjoy those type of stories to just skip it. I appreciate this consideration myself as I hate antihero stories. Like others have told you work on character development more. I've seen improvements as you've progressed, so I gave you a three. I hope you keep up with the story but a rewrite is definitely in order before you publish. My review is based on a work in progress not a finished novel. Good luck.

MisterX96
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They harden with physical trauma. 

On all seriousness though, cool story concept, I can get behind it. It's realistic and reflects the current state of our world.