A Gentleman's Curse

by Vistiel

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Anti-Hero Lead Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Reincarnation Secret Identity Slice of Life
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

 

Living a calm life in the States, Vistiel hadn't expected his situation to change for a long time. When his soul is stripped of his body, however, his plans had to change. Thrown into a new world with his old regrets and the memories of a life that is no longer his, he can either embrace this new environment and make a new one here using his old knowledge, or suffocate under his past. 

 

 

Hey! Author here. Chapters post every other week and are anywhere from 3.5-6.5k words apiece. This'll be the first story I've ever written but I have a plot in mind and a plan in place. Just let me know if there's anything you'd like to see or if something about the grammar is bugging you. Thank you for reading!

Please keep in mind there will be some minor adjustments made to the earlier chapters as the book progresses. I'm building a story chapter by chapter, so I may/will need to go back and touch up some things.

If you like the story, please consider supporting me on Patreon!

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Vistiel

Vistiel

Grunt

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: Accidents Happen [E] ago
Chapter 2: Coming to Terms [E] ago
Chapter 3: Mana [E] ago
Chapter 4: Change is good [E] ago
Chapter 5: Wrong [E] ago
Chapter 6: The "Talk" [E] ago
Chapter 7: Dynamics [E] ago
Chapter 8: Dungeon [E] ago
Chapter 9: Dungeon 2 [E] ago
Chapter 10: Dungeon 3 [E] ago
Chapter 11: Pain Is Weakness Leaving The Body [E] ago
Chapter 12: Plans [E] ago
Chapter 13: Double Edged Sword [E] ago
Chapter 14: Breakfast [E] ago
Chapter 15: Breakfast(finished) [E] ago
Chapter 16: In-Transit [E] ago
Chapter 17: Home [E] ago
Chapter 18: Spar [E] ago
Chapter 19: Words left unsaid [E] ago
Chapter 20: Thunder[E] ago
Chapter 21: We Do What We Must [E] ago
Chapter 22: Rewards? [E] ago
Chapter 23: The Gathering [E] ago
Evening Stroll(short bonus) ago
Chapter 24: Tisnart-Ni [E] ago
Chapter 25: Home Sweet Paradise [E] ago
Chapter 26: The Clock Ticks [E] ago
Chapter 27: The Clock Continues [E] ago
Arc 2, Chapter 1: New Beginnings [E] ago
Arc 2, Chapter 2: New Companions [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 3: Arrival [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 4: Initiation [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 5: First Tracks [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 6: First Communion [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 7: Orientation [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 8: Advanced Sadist [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 9: Break [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 10: Knowledge Is Power [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 11: Tours [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 12: Advanced Manipulation [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 13: Advanced Manipulation 2 [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 14: Beast Handling [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 15: Cheaters Get Special Love [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 16: Death Alley [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 17: Calm Before The Storm [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 18: The Storm [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 19: The Storm Pt. 2 [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 20: Excursion Pt. 1 [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 21: Excursion Pt. 2 [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 22: Excursion Pt. 3 [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 23: Rest Day [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 24: Woodcutting [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 25: New Things [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 26: Sound Decisions [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 27: Crouching Tiger Hidden Damien [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 28: Intermission? [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 29: Training [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 30: A Day In Town [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 31: Angry Hippies [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 32: Decisions [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 33: Conductor [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 34: The Whole Family [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 35: Savior [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 36: In-Laws [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 37: Party Time [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 38: Breathless [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 39: The Shadow's Company [E] ago
Update: Not a Chapter. [E] ago
Chapter 40 Info update(its done) ago
Char list: Arc 1 only ago
Arc 2 Chapter 40 : The Fallout PT 1 [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 41: The Fallout PT 2 [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 42: Planning [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 43: Parting [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 44: The Fae and Iron [E] ago
Arc 2 Chapter 45: Revolution [E] ago

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Xen3n
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I definitely recommend this.

"A gentleman's curse" - a typical RRL story tinged with nostalgia.

While the premise of the story is nothing to write home about, a fairly generic reincarnated into another world with a cheat that's not really a cheat, it invoked in me a sense of nostalgia. The beginning really reminds me of Mushoku Tensei. It invoked in me the same kind of feeling as Mushoku Tensei did when i still did not know what a japanese light novel was. 

There are only 11 chapters released, the latest being "Pain is weakness leaving the body" so i can't really say anything substantial about the plot. It seems like there are a few things in play already, but in my eyes they seem a bit forced. What i mean by forced is they are too generic and are set up artificially for the main character to overcome. It's not bad by any means, but it's nothing anything special either.

The grammar is spectacular by RRL standards. 

Now, what really makes this story shine in my eyes, the characters. All of the characters, except the father, that have been introduced by this point feel alive. The female characters and main character are written very well. The father feels lacking in comparison. I noticed that you tried to let the main character and the father experience a "moment" and try to get them closer, but it felt lacking. Like, something you want to quickly get over it to get to something else which you find more interesting. The father isn't "dead" by any means, but compared to let's say the three female characters he's somewhat lacking.

Overall, in my humble opinion, i think that the story is well written. Even more so, since this is your first attempt at writing. It has potential.

PS: i'm giving you all 5 stars, cause fuck that garbage person who gave you 0.5 stars. The real rating is: style 4 stars, story 4 stars, grammar 5 stars, character 4.5 stars. Do please keep in mind that i'm a harsh judge, but for your first story you really did impress me.

Keep up the good work and good luck!

yeetmin
  • Overall Score

 

spoilers

This is a subjective review and I am pretty sure I have an unpopular opinion 

 

everything as of arc-2-chapter-6 has been okay, nothing amazing but nothing horrible, I loved the relationship development between Damien and his new parents and the fairy stuff. I liked the way Damien uses his magic. I understand that Damien was a billy badass in his past life and he wants to move away from that lifestyle but I don't think that being the kind of kind guy that comforts your attempted murderer is a sound alternative. as for Alexa, she is what I hate the most about this story, first of all, she is either a psychopath or a terrible person. pretend you are a celestial 6-year-old girl, you are visiting your aunt and her friends and their kid, the kid (I think he was like 2 at this point) walks up and touches your wings, you are embarrassed.            do you

(A) ask him to stop

(B) push him away

(C) punch his fucking jaw out

(D) try to kill the 2-year-old child with fucking magic

I think that only two of those options are acceptable. but this is not the end of her violent escapades oh no no no   because after this business of her trying to kill an infant she starts to live with him, and unless I read it wrong she continues to beat the shit out of him on the daily, no sane person acts like this, also she is a bully and a coward, no qualms with fucking up a 2-year-old but as soon as danger is afoot the powerful magic girl balls her eyes out because she is scared. but besides Alexa, this book is pretty good so far definitely worth a read.

 

pastey5
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Decent for a first attempt at writing

I tried reading this due to Ruffwriter's mention.

The writing style isn't the worst, but it suffers from trying to use anime/manga like expresions in text. Things like *BOOOOM* *KRRRAGFCHH*. Signs of beginner writers that try to express a wacky zaney feeling through text rather than express it through words.

In the same respect, the logic of characters is sometimes 'silly anime' like at times with characters acting unrealistically or how you'd expect them to act in a comedy manga. Even worse is the massive jumps in reasoning the characters take in order to get where the author wants them, which is very visible early on when he's younger.

Another thing: The author tries to make the character young early on to show how skilled he is by being able to train at 2 years old, but it's obvious the author has literally no idea how children and toddlers act or are treated. A recommendation for any author, if you haven't had a kid, had a relative with a kid you've seen frequently enough, or at least researched developmental stages of kids, then PLEASE LEAVE THIS OUT. It's so jarrying to read stories with things so blatantly wrong. It's obvious the author isn't even that comfortable with topic considering how much effort he put into mentioning the MC wasn't breast feeding.

Finally, the author ended up defining a bunch of world plot points early on like the empire and different institutions, but then went on to have no interaction with them. It didn't really serve to teach the reader anything important, but it did limit what the story could do in future chapters. This is something a lot of low quality isekai manga do because they're in such a rush to show the reader how their story is different from the basic "rpg fantasy world isekai" mold.

Overall the story suffers from lack of understanding on subjects and poor character interaction. But I think the author has some good potential. 

My recommendations would be to

  • Write about topics after researching them. Don't use age as a way to discern skill expertise unless you actually go learn how people act at those ages normally. Babies say their first words around 9 months old and start talking 12-18 months old...
  • If you find yourself using *these* to describe sounds or actions, instead try to describe the scene. If you find yourself writing "?!?!?!?!" instead try to convey that in writing and words. Using those shows poor writing skills and everyone interupts them differently. Personally I almost dropped the story immediately when I first saw those.
  • Don't define things in great detail if it isn't needed for the story. Things should be left open ended unless they aren't supposed to be. There was no point in going into so much detail on the adventurer's guild or whatever, but I already explained why I think you felt the need to.
  • As I mentioned in the title, I came here from Ruff's recommendation. I suggest you reread his early chapters (if you read them) and see how he builds the world. Look at what he explicity says, implies, and more importantly what he leaves out. If you're up to date with his story, you'll be able to see just how little he needed to spell out in the first 15-25 chapters to start building his world. And the things he does spell out are almosts spelled out with uncertainty (the chapter narrator isn't 100% sure and it shows)
DrSupbro
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This Will Be Another Royalroad Great

I have read many stories on here through the years, and from the many many stories I have read, only a few have been given 5 stars by me. These include such stories as Don't Fear the Reaper, Re: Write, Change: New World, The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound, Everybody Loves Large Chests, Godslayer, and a few more. This story has the potential to get one as well. 

This story is only getting better. The character development is there. There is plot, and behind the scenes detail. The characters are fleshed out, and the world itself isn't ignored. There are many secrets yet to be discovered by the readers, and this is a story that contains an MC that will be overpowered soon, but it isn't as if everything is thrown to him. 

I LOVE stories with main characters that are overpowered. I wish there was more to read out there. One of the bad things people do with these types of stories is just give them too much power way too soon in the story, making the rest all bland and meaningless. Just filler for the reader to waste their time on. This story eggs you on as you read everyone wondering just how powerful a human learning magic at the age of 2 will be when the previous record was 8. This is without them even knowing that knowledge is power, and he has a lot of it as I'll explain in a bit.

This story will not be a waste of your time whatsoever. The absolute only reason this story has a 4.5/5 right now for me is purely because I want to see it fleshed out a bit more. I don't want to rate it 5 stars only for the author to go somewhere bad with the story. I value my 5 star ratings extremely, and this story is definitely going to be worthy of it once some more time passes. 

The idea that knowledge is power that comes up again and again makes the story unique. It isn't some inborn talent. No, it is the knowledge the MC had as an electrician. He is going to eventually be the only one to commune with lightning by getting struck by lightning because he KNOWS things. He knows that filling himself up with negative charge like every other lightning mage out there does will only result in death, and he has a leg up on others. His rise to power is nearing, and we haven't even gotten to the school arc yet! 

Please just read the story. You won't regret it. It is far too amazing and detailed to pass up. There are only so very few like it on this site. 

-I am also dying to know if the MC is going to get wings like the story picture shows, or if that is a Celestial from the story. Having it be the MC somehow would probably be amazing. 

dark asura
  • Overall Score

Good stuff highly recommended

  1. Likable characters
  2. Good grammar 
  3. Nice writing style
  4. Keep it up author
  5. Wish there was more chapters
  6. Looking forward to where this is going
shachlo
  • Overall Score

THIS IS SOMETHING..

Its amazing! Reading about boys getting hit by flustered/angry girls is so much fun! I love all of it, in every chapter! I even stopped to follow the story, just waiting how and which one of girls gonna smack unsuspecting male in this particular scene! It even has full chapter of girl beating the shit out of MC because he didn't let her kiss him!

SlimeAction
  • Overall Score

Same Ingredient, Different Flavour

Into another world story, but stay for family (or people) drama. No, not power strugle or jealousy one, but having lost your family and trying to accept your new home. I'm not staying because of how OP or great our MC progress, but because I care and want to know his daily live. It build into epic story but their family woven into main stage, not as a perk or back story. But as family.

That, in my opinion a worth reading.

Lordofthepies
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Honestly, I think I have too high standards for grammar sometimes.  But, apart from mixing up tenses a couple times, the grammar is very good.  Also I think in reincarnation stories the psychological impact of losing your entire family/world is never really stated.  In this one it's done pretty well.

Silet
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The title and Picture are Deceptive

This is a review from a passionate story enthusiast. To be quite honest author, I am a bit dissapointed with how this story has been written so far. The story has barely lived up to the tags that are in the bio of this story. So far it has played out like a third rate soap opera that has constant conflicts in order to distract the readers from the flaws that are hiding in it.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

I don't like giving harsh reviews on stories but since this is your first one, it has to be this way for you to learn about pacing yourself. Don't write down everything that comes to you out of the top of your head. Think about it first "Does this sentence advance the plot/imagery/sound/etc.. of the story." "Is this chapter relevent to the bigger picture?"

Look at novels like "Luck Lockyer" "The Forgotten Conquerer" and "The Arcane Emperor". With all of them having low amounts of pages plus chapters, while still being able to make their audience feels like they have come a long way through a journey on multiple worlds. With the amount of pages your story has, it makes me feel like the characters moves from 1 room to another, and never really experience the world as they are tied down by the most random evil plots and the most random events that can ever be conceived.

I hope you read this and consider what I have said. If you like the current way you are writing this story, please put a disclaimer at the bottom as I came for something exciting and a thrilling new adventure but left with a tired soul and a headache from all the chatter of the charcters in the book. I really hope this story improves the next time I decide to re-visit it cause it came with me asking for something but leaving empty handed.

Par0xysm
  • Overall Score

IMO an amazing fantasy, worth your time

25/04-18 Edit: The story had a great start but is falling off lately, there is too much focus on the lovey-dovey between the mc and his waifu's, and the school arc has been a boring filler so far. (like they always are) But i wont change my rating because it's only a minor problem so far, which is easily rectified, the rest of my review still stands.

This has been an immense enjoyment to read for me, even from chapter 1-2. There has literally not been even 1 moment i've been bored or annoyed. The story is flowing nicely, the writing is incredibly well written and formulated. I like all the characters we've gotten introduced to so far. Very fleshed out personalities, and this has been the first time i've read a transmigration story with such a realistic take on loss of family/life, and the reality of being sent to another world against your will.

Without spoiling too much, i enjoy the lore and thought put into the faeries, which has been both fun and pleasant; What an amazing fantasy creature not getting it's due, before now.

I do hope that you'll put as much thought into future antagonists and world building, because the level of detail and realism in the characters and setting, has been very good. And a interesting antagonist would be equally amazing.

Words for the author: You should honestly weight how much you enjoy writing because imo you have a bright future with it. And i can only imagine how amazing your storytelling will become with time and practise.

5 stars from me eventhough i normally wouldn't give a perfect score, since there's always details to improve. But honestly this author deserves it.