Gray's Crucible

by alan0n

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Harem Magic Male Lead Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

“The value you have brought to trade is immense, more than a thousand fold what any other traveler to Crucible has ever produced.  More than even I produced during my journey.”  The old man paused for a moment here, seemingly reluctant to continue.  After a few seconds he begins again with weariness creeping into his voice.  “As the Messenger of Crucible I have received the value of your life.  You shall be awarded a body with potential equaling the value you have brought to this place in accordance with the laws of the higher realms.  Now you shall depart for Crucible, but first; I, Jaze, will give you some advice.”  The old man, Jaze, he had named himself paused a time.  Time enough that Gray began to wonder if he was still present, when he suddenly continued in a low and serious tone, “You will undoubtedly have great potential Gray of Earth, but it is still only potential.  What could be is not necessarily what will be.  If you step foolishly in my world, if you can not live up to the potential you have bartered for, Crucible will crush you mercilessly and tear away your very soul.”

A thought, cheerful and light was heard from Gray before his presence was sent rocketing away like a shooting star.  “I’m looking forward to it.”

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No Nonsence Introduction, Simple but Interesting

The details are minimal, yet provide the context of the story perfectly well. I didn’t feel the need to skip paragraphs and thoroughly enjoyed the chapters so far. Keep it up and I am liking it :)

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Gray's Crucible has a certain charm I can't really describe. The MC and general atmosphere of the story as it unfolds is very down to earth and realistic ( not sure I'm explaining this well).

You can connect with Gray, he has a certain mature feel. The closest I can come up with is that Gray has a no-nonsense attitude that I feel makes this story worth of a five star :)

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this story is really a hidden gem here on royalroad. I'm really fortunate to have stumbled onto it. I'm not good with reviews but ill give it a try anyway.


style: don't really know what to say here. its very easy to read and POV's are distinguishable, and its descriptive without being overbearing(y'know, too much detail). spacing is fine and its easy to tell who is talking/thinking.


story: can't really say to much here cause there is no main plot or goal yet. the MC's only been there for like 2 days. its intriguing so far though and i'm interested to learn more about the world and see what the MC will do in the future.


Grammar: very well done. Next to no mistakes. I'm american so English is obviously my native language. i make mistakes in my writing all time and yours is about as good as mine. only little mistakes like no commas when there should be, etc. definitely one of the best on this site.


Character: awesome! the MC is awesome. He is intelligent and can think on his feet. He has proved that time and again in his fights. he is fearless also. not back down from any fights even though it seems he's never fought before. He also doesn't take shit from anyone. a very likable MC IMO. The really isn't much to say about others cause there really hasn't been many to get to know them. Eri is Ok so far, I look forward to getting to see more of her personality in the coming chapters.


well i did my best lol. I'm not good at things like this. i hope it helps. i truly enjoy this story and can't wait to see what is in store for the future.