Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

WARNING - Skully is a terrible writer who breaks without warning.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 0
  • Average Views :
  • 0
  • Followers :
  • 2,497
  • Favorites :
  • 1,037
  • Ratings :
  • 982
  • Pages :
  • 0
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Skully

Skully

Floating Skull L96

Achievements
250,000 Views
Word Smith (IX)
500 Comments
2,500 Followers
Author Premium Early Bird
3rd Anniversary
Premium Member
Advertisement
Remove
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Winged Thing
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Mechs, Exo Suits and Sci-Fi done right!

This novel is worth your time and you owe it to youself a read if you like one or all of the following:
-AI
-Mech
-Sci Fi
-Good Fiction

It may seem slow to start for some, but I enjoyed it from it's start to where it is currently. Authour has some things he can improve on but it's as close to a perfect novel as you'll find.

viewless
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Suspension of disbelief can only go so far

Despite being well written and with a compelling, intricately crafted world as a backdrop, you'd have to stretch your suspension of disbelief very far in order to take this story at face value. I was unable to do that. 

Some egregious examples:

-12 year olds caught up to current technological and scientific progress to the point of innovating/advancing those fields. (even if you're a supergenius, there's hundreds of years of science to catch up to)

-12 years developing technologies in days and weeks that billion dollar companies didn't  in ~40 years of mech technological development.

-12 year olds running a corporation, and making deals with other corporation, and being taken seriously by adults, and signing deals worth billions of dollars.

-12 year olds physically outperforming teenage kids several years their senior. 

 

-Despite being aware of an impending invasion for decades, for some stupid and incomprehensible reason the EU government has absolutely no military funding whatsover. I believe the value quoted is .25% of gdp? So 20x less than the current OECD average during the most peaceful period in human history.

-Instead, all military funding is done through tax credits to corporations(wat), who themselves get to maintain standing armies(wat x2) and those corporations publicly intend to fuck off the planet asap. 

Which of course leaves the 12 year old wunderkids to to step in and save the world! Yeah, this story is not for me at all. 

 

(i could actually see myself liking this story if it wasn't so unbelievable. The writing is good, the characterization is decent, except for Daedo (who became good at everything, even the things that he is stated to suck at), and the setting is for the most part very interesting and well imagined. I'll keep an eye on this authors next project, maybe it will be more to my liking)

Vaati
Overall

I enjoy the world and characters this author has created. Mecha stuff is pretty dope. I like how detailed he gets with it.

I am a big sci-fi buff so whenever royal road gets a good one its always a treat.

There were about four months where the author went AFK, and I was pretty sure this was dead, but he is back, and I'm glad he is.

Update 09/12/2019

It has been three months since this novel has gotten a new chapter. I hope the author will come back one day, but I am not holding out hope. As it stands, this is a dead novel which is unfortunate as it was terrific.

 

Daedalus is a good read, but as it stands, I have to revise my rating until/if the author comes back and also proves a consistent release schedule as this is the second time he has left readers in the dark.

 

 

Totchaa
Overall

The writing is good, and the grammar is not perfect but pretty good for this site. I’ve also been craving some good sci-fi stories, so I was hopeful when reading the positive reviews of this story. Alas, as often happens on this site I feel like the reviews are way too positive without a single critical mention.

My problem with the story is the characters. Not in their behavior or depth because I think that the characters are well described with different backgrounds and personalities that makes them interesting. The problem I have, which makes it impossible for me to get immersed in this story, is that they are 12 and 13 years old. Every time they do something genius, know how to build a railgun, super advanced AI or whatever I just can’t ignore that they are 12 and 13 years old. They seem to just be born with these concepts already in their heads because I don’t know how else they would have time to learn it all, even if they are super genius children. It takes decades to learn the things these children know about math, science and technology. Their personalities do not match their said age.

Maybe had the story taken place later, maybe at a University, which would make more sense since it’s a military school anyway. Then the setting would be more fitting, and it would make more sense for these people to know how to build these things if they are geniuses.

Since the setting is so alien and I have such a hard time getting immersed I had to stop at chapter 25. I don’t think I will be able to continue this story unfortunately.

 

 

Sorde
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A very good story with some major weaknesses

Let me begin by saying I absolutely love the setting and how the plot's progressed so far. This review will sound rather negative, but I want the author to take it as something to work on rather than a stranger saying they're trash at writing. 

The story is (nearly) all I could have asked for. It's got intense fights, smart characters, and semi-realistic mech fights set in a feasible future setting. The world building is pretty good, but could use some fleshing out when it comes to the backgrounds of companies and the actions of the rest of the world. It's also a long one, which is a plus in my books.

However, there are big weaknesses in this story which the author should work on. Firstly, the grammar is pretty atrocious. Periods are used instead of commas, there's a lack of punctuation in many of the longer sentences, and sometimes the writing is legitimately hard to follow due to the lack of commas or other issues. I'm a little confused here, too, because the author pretty consistently nails dialogue punctuation which is usually one of the harder things.

The word choice, I must admit, is varied and interesting, but it often sticks out like a sore thumb because of the frequency. For example, this sentence can be found in Chapter 92:

"Daedo wasn’t threatened by the aggressive tone, even if they were accosted by armed thugs; given their training, communications and proximity of friends let alone authorities, they could handle most situations."

I understand this may be an intentional choice to reflect Daedo's high intelligence, but it falls flat because of the awkward flow, the misuse of the semi-colon, and it seems like Daedo just regurgitated a thesaurus instead of forming a natural thought.

My second issue is that a lot of the characters seem to be very two-dimensional and don't really have a personality of their own beyond one or two major traits. This has started to become less of an issue as the story progresses and more personal life is revealed about the characters, but it really isn't enough. I feel like there needs to be more insight into the behaviors and personalities of the squad, past their defining traits. This could be fixed through more detailed descriptions of scenes, like describing the reactions of people throughout meetings rather than just focusing on the dialogue. From what I've read, this story has been improving as it goes, but it desperately needs more proofreading and more detail during scenes. They fly by too quickly, just hitting the dialogue.

As far as what the author should do, I may be in the minority and most like the way scenes are written, which means no reason to change that. However, there's no excuse for poor grammar and sentence structure after a thousand pages of writing. Perhaps English isn't their first language, and maybe they never learned how to properly construct sentences, but after more than a year of writing, I'm surprised how little has changed in their grammar.

To summarize, great story and great setting, but the characters need some development, the scenes should be more detailed, and the grammar needs a lot of work.

Apologies if this comes across as too harsh.

renoraider
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Excellent potential, not so excellent grammar.

To be brief, the idea for the story, the theme, and overarching plot are both interesting and well thought out. The approach to the academy system and the nitty-gritty when it comes to the tech and scientific aspects of the story are one of its main highlights.

However, the grammar suffers horrendously. Not in the manner of errors or the like, but to how it's used. This also bleeds into the characters and how they are portrayed. Take Daedo for instance. His intelligence and talent can be attributed to a personality and persona akin to Ender from Ender's Game, considered a genius and prodigy at such a young age. But the dialogue leaves much to be desired. One moment he speaks with little to no contractions and endearingly similar to Spock. Then all of a sudden he says 'hell' and calls his dad 'old man' like some 21st century suburban teen. It's utterly frustrating considering most of the squad ends up talking like this. Even Barran, who's supposed to be more laid back and normal in attitude speaks like a perfectionist in an English language course.

Another hang up I have is that every so often the sentence just runs on long enough or haphazardly enough that some form of punctuation is required much less a comma such that it feels like you're speaking on and on. And if you paid attention it's kinda like my previous sentence

So overall I'd give the fic a 3.5. Awesome theme and excellent detail curbed by atrociously lackluster approach to grammar.

BocaDeSiri
Overall

Really enjoying this story! I like how the backstories of the characters deliver the resources for the team to progress. Really looking forward to where this goes. Good Job!

Fnord43
Overall

The story starts off good and mostly goes up from there. Though there are a few serious shark jump moments, like the discovery of a new element that magically solves a plot point. But don't be fooled by the summary. While the author has come back to this story after a long hiatus before the most recently published kindle book goes past what is here on RR, That means he can't use any of that material here and has abandoned the community that got him started. I have no doubt that he will eventually finish the story, but it won't be here.

nf_zeta
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Overrated and therefore unhelped

This fiction is rife with the common errors of a novice author yet somehow has a high rating. Its either because of its isekai-esque wish fufilment or a case of Arcane Emperor.

 

Style: Simple, albeit not the most effective for this novel. Even in third person it obviously leans too much into the MC's perspective of things, especially his thoughts. The switches to conversations and narration are also sloppy and the writing around the character quotes is... plain for lack of a better word, at least given the happenings during them.

Story: This is one of the biggest problems. The base idea is okay, but the execution is where everything is left wanting. There is too much a need to suspend belief in this fiction, when it comes to both the character and the world he exists in. Lots of things happen or are brushed over that make no sense, even within the world when compared to scale and other instances of similar situations. The entire thing is filled with plotholes or unsatisfactory inputs of plot.

 

Grammar: It isn't overly obvious at first but between poor sentence structure and the abundance of mispelled or misplaced words it digs too much into the reading pleasure to be excused. The poor prose is especially problematic as it prevents the fiction itself from drawing you in enough to miss the small mistakes.

 

Character: Now this is just bad. I'm not only speaking about the main character but pretty much all the characters. They're all plot puppets and therefore interactions between them feel empty and they're for the most part not likeable either. Their motivations seem unimportant even to the characters themselves and there is a strong lack of consistency in their behaviour that only furthers the lack of belief in them being actual people.

blaze262
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A good story with 2 big loopholes and release inconsistently

Reviewed at: Book 4 - Chapter 130

A good story with a lot of detail and ideas put into it. There are 2 big loopholes to the story however.  The first loophole is that the characters do not act their age. If only one or two did not act their age, it would be reasonable, but all of the children did not act their age. The second problem with the story is that they are able to invent mechs and exosuits better than what the military around the world is able to as 13 years old.

 

The biggest gripe I have though is that the releases are very inconsistent. You never know when the author will take another long break, or stop continuing this story entirely.