Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Sucked into the void without warning, a handful of people from around the globe suddenly find themselves in the foreign world of Scyria, a place filled with people who can jump three times their height, conjure fire from thin air, and perform any number of other inhuman feats.  Scattered across the realm and armed with newfound powers far greater than those of the native Scyrians, they each struggle to find their path in this unfamiliar reality.  Their unforeseen arrival sends tremors throughout the world, toppling a centuries-long age of relative peace, prosperity, and progress as they each leave their mark on the world in their own ways.

But Scyria has its own share of intrigue, even without these unwelcome guests.  A major metropolis is wiped from existence out of nowhere, triggering a manhunt across the continent for those deemed responsible.  Two feuding nations decide to bring their hostilities to a new level.  Blades clash, nations fall, and plots years in the making begin to reveal themselves.

This is the story of some unwilling trespassers, taken from their lives against their will and thrown into situations they barely understand.  This is the story of some unfortunate Scyrians, their lives blown apart by the newcomers’ sudden and destabilizing existence.  This is the story of Scyria, a world with a lost past buried beneath millenia.  But as both the Earthlings and Scyrians are about to find out, sometimes the past doesn’t stay buried forever...


I marked the story as having Gore, Sexual Content, and Traumatising content because it does contain a bit of all three, though not what I believe is a significant amount.  Just wanted to be safe.  It does contain a whole lot of profanity, though.  That one is very much deserved.

I post one chapter ahead on Patreon here, you can get it for a dollar: https://www.patreon.com/IrateRapScallion

My Discord server for discussing the story and whatever else: https://discord.gg/uycZBbv

Please vote for my story on Top Web Fiction by clicking here: http://topwebfiction.com/vote.php?for=displaced  Thanks!

Cover by Jefferymoonworm

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IrateRapScallion

IrateRapScallion

Master Procrastinator

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
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Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Chapter 16 ago
I am not an artist... ago
Chapter 17 ago
Chapter 18 ago
Chapter 19 ago
Chapter 20 ago
Chapter 21 ago
Chapter 22 ago
Chapter 23 ago
Chapter 24 ago
Chapter 25 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
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Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
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Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Crirada Map ago
Chapter 52 ago
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Chapter 81 ago
Chapter 82 ago
Chapter 83 ago
Chapter 84 ago
Chapter 85 ago
Chapter 86 ago
Chapter 87 ago
Not a chapter: Cities Map ago
April Fools Chapter ago
Chapter 88 ago
Chapter 89 ago
Chapter 90 ago
Chapter 91 ago
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Chapter 99 ago
Chapter 100 ago
Chapter 101 ago
Chapter 102 ago
Chapter 103 ago
Chapter 104 ago
Chapter 105 ago
Chapter 106 ago
Chapter 107 ago
Chapter 108 part 1 ago
Chapter 108 Part 2 ago
Chapter 109 ago

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Not my cup of tea, but it might be yours

Reviewed at: Chapter 100

This is an odd story to review, because it’s the first story I’ve read on this site where I feel that one person could legitimately give it a five-star rating and a different person could legitimately give it a half-star rating.  This being the case, I’ve invited my two friends, FiveStar and HalfStar, to help me review this book.  Hi, guys, what do you say?

FiveStar: Oh my gosh, I can’t wait!  I’m super-excited to gush about this book!

HalfStar: Ugh.  I can’t believe we’re wasting our time with this dreck.

BookReviewer: Now, HalfStar, some people will genuinely love this story.  Let’s not discourage them.

HalfStar: People who were dropped on their heads as babies?  I can’t imagine there’s very many of them.

BookReViewer: Let’s not be judgmental.  Our goal here is to encourage the people who will like this book to read it while discouraging those who won’t.  That’s a win-win situation for everyone involved.  So let’s begin.

Style

FiveStar: Me first!  I love this style.  Five out of five stars.  The combat is just excellent!  Combat scenes are difficult to do well, but this author makes them vivid and exciting!  That’s a rare thing.  But it’s not just the combat that’s great, the interpersonal banter is also excellent, and good dialogue is also rare and impressive.  Put them together, and you have a very special story that can create tension at a moments notice, leaving you always eager to read the next chapter.  There’s rarely a dull moment!

HalfStar: Lots of tension, maybe, but there’s never any true resolution.  Win one battle, fight another.  Resolve one conflict, start another.  Wait, do interpersonal conflicts ever actually get resolved?  Because right now I’m having difficulty thinking of even a single disagreement that was resolved amicably.  The story excels at piling on tension, that I’ll grant you, but there’s never any resolution.  All it does is pile on more conflict.  Granted, doing so does keep the reader engaged; but eventually the discerning reader will realize that he’s just being strung along.  Three stars.

BookReviewer: I’m going to side more with FiveStar than HalfStar on this one.  HalfStar, you do have a point about the characters and story, but we’ll get to that in later sections.  The fact is, even if the story occasionally uses a few cheap tricks to keep things moving, which does indeed get aggravating after a while, nevertheless the style does what style needs to do – keep the reader engaged and interested.  It’s not always perfect, especially during transitions from one viewpoint character to another, but keeping up reader interest after 100 chapters is no mean feat.  Four and a half stars.

Story

FiveStar:  Me again!  The story is great.  It’s just epic battle after epic battle between nations and individuals, mostly starring super-powered Earthlings who’ve been isekai’d into a fantasy world.  There’s action!  There’s adventure!  There’s even more action!  There’s no black and white here, no good or evil, it’s all varying shades of grey.  Overpowered humans transported to a fantasy world, who then upset the balance of power and spark ultra-violent wars between each and every nation?  Five stars again.  What’s not to like?

HalfStar:  Everything!  That’s what’s not to like!  You know what’s wrong with a world where everything’s grey?  It’s all grey!  That might sound good in theory, but it turns out to be boringly monotonous in practice.  This whole entire story could be summed up as “Bad people doing bad things to each other for bad reasons.”  It’s frustrating and sad more than anything else.  When almost every single character is some version of a sociopathic, hypocritical jerk, you just can’t—

BookReviewer: HalfStar, characters are still two sections from now.  Please stick to story issues for now.

HalfStar: But it’s all related!  You simply can’t divorce the story from its characters!  If the characters are bad, then the story is going to be bad as well!

BookReviewer:  We’ll get there, I promise.  Talk about battles, pacing, or overall plot for now.

HalfStar:  …fine.  I’ll talk about all three, because they’re all related.  The overall plot…there just isn’t any.  Or if there is, after 100 chapters it’s still not clear what it is.  This story isn’t going anywhere.  It’s just battle after battle after battle.  Sometimes big battles that last for dozens of chapters, sometimes small battles that don’t even last one.  But that’s all it is, battle after battle after pointless battle.

FiveStar:  But, you gotta admit, each battle individually is usually pretty good.

Halfstar:  Individually, sure, but a story has got to be more than just a sequence of individual scenes.  It’s not just the characters which are boring, monotonous, and depressingly consistent—the story is, too.  And it’s not like every battle is some perfect masterpiece.  That stupid siege dragged on for, what, forty chapters or something?  That was at least thirty chapters too long.

FiveStar: I will admit that the siege could’ve been a lot shorter.  That did drag on a bit, even for me.  But there were other stories mixed in there, too.  Like Sebastian and—

HalfStar:  Ugh, Sebastian.  Don’t get me started on Sebastian.  What a waste of pages.  You realize that literally everything related to Sebastian could have been cut and the overall story wouldn’t have changed a single bit?  Arliette’s backstory was sort of fun, but all the Sebastian stuff just turned out to be a waste of time.  Much like the siege itself, now that I think about it.

FiveStar:  There were a couple good fight scenes in there.

HalfStar:  And a whole bunch of boring, frustrating, pointless ones.  Realistically, given the powers involved, the entire siege should have been an unstable equilibrium and quickly resolved one way or the other, but it was stretched unnaturally by authorial fiat.  For forty chapters.

FiveStar:  It did kind of drag a bit long for no real payoff, didn’t it?  Can I lower my rating?

BookReviewer: Sure, go ahead.

FiveStar:  Okay, upon reflection, I’m rating the story section at four-and-a-quarter stars.  Can I do that?  It’s better than four stars, but some of it was kind of pointless and dragged out, so not quite four-and-a-half.

BookReviewer: That’s fine.  HalfStar, what’s your rating?

HalfStar: One star.  And that’s being generous.

BookReviewer: Okay, I can see both of your points of view.  I’ve got to agree a bit more with HalfStar on this one: a story should be more than a sequence of individual events, and “bad people doing bad things to each other for bad reasons” describes a depressingly large amount of what happens in this tale.  Two and a half stars.

Grammar

FiveStar: Can we at least agree that the grammar is perfectly fine?  Five stars.

HalfStar: Yeah, I’ve got no problems here.  It might not be 100% perfect, but I don’t require perfection.  Five stars.

BookReviewer:  I’m glad we can all agree on something.  Five stars it is.

Characters

(spoilered for spoilers)

BookReviewer: I’m definitely expecting some conflicting opinions here, but just to make sure we’re all on the same level, I’m going to make a list of the major and significant minor characters for everyone to reference, along with a brief but spoiler-filled description.  Locked behind spoiler tags, of course, and sorted from most selfish, hypocritical, sociopathic, and despicable to most generous, honest, empathetic, and admirable.  Here you go:

Gabby the Blood Queen—The ultra-strong, unkillable single mother from Mexico.  While Gabby the Blood Queen’s personal body count can only be guessed at, fifty thousand seems too low and a million probably too high.  How many deaths she’s indirectly responsible for, by allowing the Ubran army to invade almost uncontested across three or four kingdoms and crush all in their path, can only be imagined.  Her reason for doing this?  She wants to get home to her two kids, and by virtue of being a stupid, amoral sociopath, she’s both idiotically convinced that slaughtering her way across the known world will achieve her goal and sociopathic enough to believe that the cost is worthwhile.  Who cares about personally creating a million orphans if it means your two kids will get their mother back, am I right?  Actually, does it count as making orphans if you kill the kids, too?  She’s probably still at under a million orphans if the dead ones don’t count.

Akhustal the Warlord—The Chos earns her second-place spot on this list for being just as bloodthirsty and amoral as Gabby the Blood Queen.  Even more bloodthirsty, really.  The Chos loves fighting and killing, but being a native-born beastkin, she simply can’t match the body count of someone like Gabby.  She’s personally responsible for probably a thousand deaths during the story so far and maybe ten or twenty thousand over her lifetime; but if you count all the deaths from the armies she personally commanded to wage unnecessary battle, expect those numbers to increase fivefold or more.  Her reason for doing this?  She likes fighting and killing her enemies (and most of the known world is her enemies, as far as she’s concerned).

Pyria the Conniver—Just as nasty as Akhustal in her own way, Pryia at least has the excuse of not being the aggressor.  If she has any redeeming feature, it’s that some of her nastiness is devoted to improving the lives of elvish women.  That’s not really an excuse, especially given how willing she is to resort to torture for questionable gains and for plain old-fashioned amusement, but at least it’s better than killing just because you like combat.  Probably.

Rudra the Pseudo-Pacifist—Unlike most of the other characters in the top half of this list, Rudra almost certainly isn’t an actual sociopath.  On the other hand, other than Gabby he’s probably the most hypocritical and after Gabby and the Chos, probably the most selfish and self-centered as well.  He’s also the only character on the list other than Sofie way down at the bottom who doesn’t have blood directly on his hands.  He’s swimming in it indirectly, though, because although he claims to be such a pacifist that he won’t even spar with another person, he apparently sees nothing wrong with resurrecting the Chos’ armies again and again so they can continue their rapine and slaughter unabated.  Or, actually, it’s not so much that he doesn’t know it’s morally abhorrent; he totally knows it’s wrong, he’s just too selfish to care.  The first time he does it because he wants a nice house, the second and presumably third times, it’s because his girlfriend of not quite twenty-four hours is being held hostage.  Oh, and he also screws over thousands of noncombatants in the process, who he had personally helped incite into a slave rebellion, before utterly betraying them for, you know, the girlfriend thing.  The irony is that even his girlfriend begged him to let her die instead; but again, he’s too selfish to care about anyone’s wishes except his own.

Samanta the Literal Backstabber—Do you think that the appropriate response to being saved from being raped and murdered is to literally stab your savior in the back?  Samanta certainly does, and she’d sleep like a baby that night, too.  Given her upbringing and given that her effective body count is actually pretty low, Samanta could arguably be lower down on the list; but her sheer self-righteousness and unrepentant assholery raises her despicableness level just barely enough to beat out Hector, though it’s close.

Hector the All-Around Jerk—Hector basically is what you’d get if you took every negative stereotype about Mexicans and made a character out of them (plot twist: he’s actually South American!).  He enjoys sex, sexually harassing women, and humiliating and killing people for fun and profit.  Mostly he kills enemy soldiers because his allies are happier that way and they reward him with lots of fame, women, and respect.  He’s living the life.  Are all the women in his bed willing?  Probably, but you can bet that Hector doesn’t bother to find out.  He doesn’t even bother to ask their names.

Blake the Tyrant—Blake is both a tyrant and a jerk, though at least his tyranny is mostly benevolent, so long as you don’t get in his way or the ways of his plans, in which case he will likely crush you without mercy.  Ruthless to his enemies and distant towards his subjects, Blake is no one’s idea of a hero, but at least he’s more-or-less working toward the common good.  He’s either jaded, sociopathic, or high on the autism spectrum; whichever it is, whether Blake had any friends back on Earth or not, he certainly doesn’t have any here.  His body count rivals all but the top names on this list, and he figures they basically all deserved it.

Jaquet the [redacted]—[Description redacted due to spoilers.]  He’s a jerk; but at least, like Blake, he’s a somewhat believable jerk.  You can’t really admire him or his decisions, but at least you can see his point of view.  If you squint hard enough, that is.

Pari the Munitions Savant—Pari the beastkin boasts an impressively large personal body count for an eight-year-old girl, owning entirely to her delight in making things explode and not caring much whether those things are people or not.  Her indirect body count is way higher, probably in the tens of thousands, because she also has no compunctions against supplying explosives to the commanders of whatever force she happens to be with at the time.  They give her the materials to make huge bombs, so she makes huge bombs, and then she gets to watch them explode!  It’s win-win!

Arlette the [also redacted]—Arlette is basically the everyman of this story, if your everyman was a [redacted] who was also a [redacted].  Still, no matter her history, Arlette can’t really hang with the big boys.  You can tell this, because her personal body count is probably only in the low hundreds and her total body count not much higher.  I mean, which of us doesn’t have a body count in the low hundreds, am I right?  Cut a girl some slack, reaching quadruple digits can be hard.  At least she’s not terribly selfish, hypocritical, sociopathic, or despicable, which puts her pretty low down this list.

Sofie the Idealist—The one person on this list without any sort of body count at all, Sofie plays the token “good person” in this story.  While it’s nice to have someone in the story who is actually generous, honest, empathetic, and at least sort-of admirable, it’s also kind of hard to see how anyone could go through everything she did and not become totally jaded by the experiences.

HalfStar: Did you just call Gabby ‘the Blood Queen’?  I like it.

FiveStar: Wait, I thought you were supposed to be unbiased!

BookReviewer: I never promised that.  I also have some…issues with the characters in this story.

HalfStar: I know!  They’re terrible, right?

BookReviewer: Well, I wouldn’t got that far, but there are some issues.

FireStar: No, there aren’t!  What’s not to like?  We’ve got a wide, interesting, and diverse cast.  The single mother from Mexico, the old woman from Japan, the programmer from the States, the girl from Belgium.  The list goes on.  And that’s just the Earthlings!  What about all the people from Scyria?  You’ve got beastkin, religious zealots, fanatical warriors…how could you possibly think this isn’t some five-star quality characterization?

HalfStar: Because they’re all the same!  Look at that list again, and count up how many of them have a body count fewer than a hundred.  Two of them.  Look at the list again, and count up how many are, if not literally sociopathic, at least effectively so.  The answer is seven, and that’s giving one or two the benefit of the doubt.  Every single one on the list except Sofie is a terrible person, because normal people don’t intentionally rack up double- and triple-digit body counts, to say nothing of the true monsters like Gabriela.  Take a look at that list again.  The guy in the middle, the one who sexually harasses women and enjoys humiliating and killing men?  He’s the median.  Half the characters are worse, and most of the rest not much better.  Like I said before, this whole story is nothing but bad people doing bad things to each other for bad reasons.

FiveStar: But some of them have good excuses for their behavior, like Blake and Pari and Samanta.  They’re products of their upbringing or, in Blake’s case, of the terrible things that happened to him.

HalfStar: That’s maybe true, but the fact is, no matter how or why they became ruthless and amoral, they’re still ruthless and amoral, just like everyone else.  This isn’t good and varied characterization, it’s terrible and monotonous characterization.

FiveStar: I think you’re being too critical.

HalfStar: BookReviewer, back me up here.

BookReviewer: Honestly, I see both your points.  The characters are amazingly varied in some ways, but depressingly similar in others.

HalfStar: I thought you said you had an issue with the characters.

BookReviewer: I do, but its not about the diversity as such.  My main issue is the lack of development.

FiveStar:  Lack of development?  What in the world are you talking about?  Look at Blake in chapter 1 and Blake after chapter 5.  That’s a ton of character development!

BookReviewer: I will admit that every character gets between two and five chapters of backstory/introduction during which character development can happen, just like you mentioned with Blake.  But now look at Blake after chapter 5 and Blake at chapter 100.  They’re basically the same exact character, with exactly the same thought processes and ways of looking at the world.  There was change in the first five chapters, but no change in the next ninety-five.  Or look at Samanta.  You know what she did at the end of chapter 5.  She thought her actions were justified.  Now look at Samanta in chapter 100.  She still thinks she was justified.

FiveStar: Okay, that is a bit weird, now that I think about it.  But I mean, to be fair, Blake was rather harsh with her for a while afterward.  Not saying he was wrong, but at least she had some reason for her outlook.

BookReviewer: Maybe she had good reason.  Personally, I don’t buy it, but that wasn’t my point.  My point is that, regardless of whether the reasons are good or bad, the characters themselves just don’t change.  This homeostasis is doubly important frustrating to me because I’m usually not a fan of reading about brutish, nasty people.  I can put up with it for a little while, if the characters improve or if the story is communicating some vital insight about the human condition, but I just don’t see that happening here.

FiveStar: Maybe that was just those two characters, though?

BookReviewer: It isn’t.  Look at everything Gabby did.  Now look in chapter 100, where she literally thinks that she’d do it all over again if it would actually work.  She’s…how did you put it, HalfStar?

HalfStar: A bad person doing bad things for bad reasons.

BookReviewer:  Yes, that’s it.  It’s what she was and, despite everything that’s happened, it’s what she continues to be.  I find it both frustrating and, frankly, unbelievable.  It breaks my suspension of disbelief, because I don’t see how anyone could be such a terrible person that they could possibly believe that price to be worth it.

FiveStar: Maybe just those three?

BookReviewer:  Look at Sofie, then.  See how upbeat and optimistic she is when she first is brought to Scyria?  Since then she’s been enslaved, sold to a brothel, rescued from a burning building, had a price put on her head, and that’s just in her first two chapters!  Consider all the stuff that happened to her over the next ninety-some chapters.  How can she possibly keep the same exact outlook on life?

HalfStar: Can I give a zero-star review?  How about negative stars?

BookReviewer: Let’s try to keep it positive.  Even you need to acknowledge that the characters aren’t entirely bad, right?

HalfStar: I dunno.  I was pretty ticked off about just how identical all the characters were once you look past their surface differences before you brought up the whole stasis thing.  That just reminds me that we’re a hundred chapters in, and we still have no idea what Sofie’s superpower is.

BookReviewer:  Predictable, unfortunately.  Like I said, the characters change at a glacial pace, if they even change at all.  But this discussion’s gone on long enough.  What are your ratings?

FiveStar:  Four and a half stars.  The characters might not be perfect, but they get the job done.  And there is some change, like with Arliette and Jaquet.  Even if it did take ninety-three chapters.

HalfStar:  Half a star.  Though I’d give it less if I could.

BookReviewer:  This is tough.  I’d have given the characters five stars early on, but eventually the brutish characters and unrealistic repetition just began to drag on me.  I’m going with two and a half stars, because the characters keep making the same mistakes and the same stupid decisions over and over and over again, and I’m just sick and tired of it. 

 

Overall

BookReviewer:  Okay, guys, what are your last impressions and overall ratings?

FiveStar: This story might not be perfect, but it reminds me of the best of stuff like Warhammer 40k, only in a fantasy world.  You’ve got your overpowered antiheroes and your even more overpowered antagonists meeting in epic and exciting battles.  This is a page-turner novel if I’ve ever read one.  The cast is diverse and I don’t care too much about character development, anyway.  Give me shades of black and grey rather than the stupid good/evil any day of the week.  Five stars.

HalfStar: Do you even have to ask?  I read 100 chapters of this garbage and only the first five or ten were interesting.  That stupid, pointless siege and all the characters’ moral failings during that period stretched on for like fifty chapters, which was at least forty too many.  Honestly, I’d have dropped the story then and there if I didn’t have to help with this review.  A half-star might be a bit harsh, but one star is clearly too many, so half a star it is.

BookReviewer: Well, no surprises there.  I’ll leave my own rating and closing thoughts below.  Thanks for helping out, guys.

FiveStar: No problem.  I loved the book.

HalfStar: You owe me big for this.

Closing thoughts

Hopefully I’ve been able to highlight the best and worst of what this story has to offer.  If you find that you agree more with FiveStar, then there’s a good chance that you’ll love this book and you should at least give it a try.  If, on the other hand, you think you’ll agree more with HalfStar’s complaints, then you’d probably be doing the author, the other readers, and most of all yourself a favor by staying far, far away.

If anyone cares what my overall rating for this story is (and you really shouldn’t, because if I’ve convinced you of nothing else in this review, I hope I’ve convinced you that people’s opinions on this story can vary widely), it’s two-and-a-half stars.  That’s the rating that I would give to a book which is recognizably competent in technique but nevertheless seems ultimately rather pointless.  Some books are enjoyable to read and when I close the book I walk away with a smile on my face and perhaps a tear in my eye.  Others have darker subject matter and are far less enjoyable, but when I finally reach the end, I feel that the author has still made a powerful statement about human nature and I might be just a little bit of a better person as a result.

Still other books feel like they combine the worst of both categories, leaving me neither with enjoyment nor any feeling of growth.  Displaced numbers among this latter category, and thus despite its technical competence, I personally assign it two stars and a half.  Whenever I finish a chapter, I have generally learned nothing new and oftentimes feel nothing but anger, sadness, or plain emptiness.

Why, then, the three-and-a-half star rating?  I have added a star because I recognize that books like this can and should exist, if only for the sake of the people who do enjoy them.  Do I think most people will enjoy it?  No, I do not.  But I do acknowledge that among those people who do enjoy it, some of them will enjoy it very much.  Even should those people number only a few percent of the general population, that’s okay.  Those people will have a book they love, and everyone else can hopefully read something more to their tastes.

This isn’t a book for me, but I’m absolutely certain that it’s a book for somebody out there.  Many somebodies, in fact.  Even I’ve been enjoying the story somewhat as of Arc 3 (starting chapter 87), now that it’s focused less on senseless violence.  So I’d like to thank the author for writing it and encourage him to continue to do so.  This story may not be my cup of tea; but it could very definitely be yours!

Azcheron
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Almost didn't continue, but its still really good.

I won't lie, shifting the focus off of one main character to a whole new one only a few chapters in really had me questioning why I should read more. Especially when its been around 8 or so chapters without word of the old one (who I still prefer #BringBackBlake :P ) but ,well, I guess you need to introduce characters however you want and we're finally getting there so its OK. 

Story: 4/5 For now there's 1 star off because its just SO, SO JARRING when the main character seems to take a step back for another main character who is just... less interisting, less talented, less action-packed, less emotive. Its really annoying after the reader invests themselves, and I suspect a lot of readers will have dropped the story for a while after a few chapters without a hint of the first MC, hopefully now that they know they'll see him again people will stick with it, but I know I nearly didn't.

Style: 4.5/5 0.5 off because that MC swicheroo stuff still really annoyed me, and I just don't like Sophie as much as Blake. I mean goddamn that last chapter with Blake was just PERFECT, I hadn't felt emotion like that from a story on RRL since /that/ chapter from Gamer of the Dead, and thats saying something. Stylistic choices otherwise are great and it flows very well. Loving it.

Grammar: 5/5 Perfect, 'nuff said.

Character: 5/5 Blake is so good, I guess Sophie could be as good one day, eitherway your characters are  3 dimensional so far, so its 5/5 here. I mean for me the MC is still Blake but even in the few chapters I've seen of him so far there was a LOT of characterisation which I loved.

Overall: 5/5 Love it, just almost didn't lol. Thankfully it seems like we might be seeing more of my favourite character soon so that's nice. Maybe an idea would be interspersing some Blake chapters amongst all the Sophia ones, because going from one to the other for such a long stretch was not very enjoyable.

Shuvo
Overall

The author has a clear idea where they want the plot to go.  I liked the ideas at the start, but later it felt kinda forced to me.  There were encounters they clearly wanted to set up in certain ways, but I was slogging through multiple chapters for them to just get to the point.  I mean, I appreciate how they tried to make things symbolically meaningful: love beats even the pinnacle of violence, or a character's true enemy being fought in a climactic 1 on 1 fight where they show what they've learned.  But it's just so obvious that's what'll happen, so I'm left reading page after page of nothing, waiting for them to set everything up.

The characters are the best aspect I think.  At many points they're genuinely enjoyable to read, to perceive the world through, and to root for.  There were several stretches early where we get sidelined for a couple chapters to introduce a new character, but most of the content of those chapters we already know or could guess or otherwise don't need to be told.  The author does a good enough job of conveying what kind a person someone is from other characters meeting them, I don't need a new chapter from their pov to spend pages explaining the same thing again.  The weakest characters in this story are probably the villains.  Every villain in this story is characterized like their last name is Malfoy, and not a single good character shares their traits.  As soon as the verb "sneer" is dropped you know they're going to be beaten by a protagonist at the end of a dramatic battle.

I kept going with this story for a long time because I'm unafraid to skim past heaps of boring stuff (if you're going to describe ancient military matters without at least reading acoup, you're going to be both boring and wrong) to read the stuff I want, and what I ultimately want is characters discovering how to better use what they already have.  I want them to use their powers and enviroment smarter to pursue their goals, not just try and hope it works out.  More critical thinking, more lateral thinking, less wishful thinking.  There were some sparks of this with Blake earlier in the story, but it seems by and large that flame has gone out.

Dorrin
Overall
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Grammar
Character

Why isn't this in the top 10?

I do not review often.  When I do it is because the story is something special.  The quality of this story is up there with professional writers I count as my favorites, for example: Jim Butcher, L. E. Modesitt Jr, Brandon Sanderson, Anne Mcaffery, and Mercedes Lackey.  While thie story style has the danger of following the path of George RR Martin, who while good at first turns into a crapfest of character juggling and a complete lack of progress, which is what I believe turns off many readers from this author, those who have those concerns should take note that the individual times spent in a POV grow in length and the story has grown more coherent, not less. That this story is not in the top ten on this site reminds me of the old adage that people are stupid little shits.  

I strongly urge IrateRapScallion, should you read my review, to keep writing.  I love your work and want to see more of it.  If you publish I will buy your stories and share them with my family and friends so that they too can enjoy your worlds.  

o7

altoroc
Overall
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Character

This is one of my favorite stories on all of Royal Road. The author puts a lot of work into his wide range of characters. Personally I disliked it at first when the story shifted away to new characters after a few chapters but now many chapters later I appreciate the move more than ever.

The characters are all well written and have depth. Their interactions are often amusing though never unrealistic. Even the character I hate the most has a consistent character who plays their role well.

The world however is where I believe it really shines. Feeling and Observing are the two kinds of magic in Scyria. Everyone can use some amount of either and can train to become better however people are also more inclined towards one.

Feelers are people who have superhuman strength and or agility. While Observers are the more typical spell flinging magic you're likely used to. Think internal vs external or body enhancement vs traditional magic.

For those who are worried about the story after the first 5-8 chapters don't fret! The rest of the story only improves. I implore you to continue if you liked the first chapters the rest only gets better! Especially once the characters meet up.

Rascozilla
Overall

Multi-lead characters story is both good and...?

At chapter 30. 

The world building is a little slow and confusing ( multi-lead characters each start in different parts of the world).   But by chapter 30 i'm sold on this world.  The magic is interesting and different but feels like it has a solid system behind it.  The world feels big  messy and interesting.  Each of the MCs feel unique, and have their own voices.  

The Author is building a big complex world and switches between different MC.  Personally i'm not a huge fan of switching from one character to another.  But now that i've gotten to know Rudra, Blake, Arlette, and Sofie, i like them just fine.  It was just a little rough going.

Zethuron
Overall
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Grammar
Character

Would say this is among the best stories on this site.

 

One of the best qualities of this story is just writing, and it is seriously well written.

Not only that, but theres a actual interesting world all built up, the differences between it and Earth, the ecology, the nations in the world and especially the powers and the different kinds of powers one can have.

 

But the thing where this story does truly excel are its characters.

There are a lot of actual characters that you can feel with, and every new perspective switch does reveal a LOT of suprising information. None of the characters are actually perfect,  they have a quite large amount of flaws, but that makes me like them even more.

A problem could be through that the first character shown in the story is one of the most likeable, and that the pov switch can turn some people off.

 

I seen zero problems with grammar, which says much about the author and the editor, keep it on!

 

So overall, id recommend to read this story, and atleast keep trying even if you reach a point you do not like, it will improve.

Forksandknives
Overall

To be frank, most of the stuff on this website sucks bad. Most people don't bother to proofread, have stories entirely comprised of cliche and wish fulfillment, and/or just really need to learn how to read before they try writing anything at all. Occasionally, though, the gods of Roalroad come through, and deliver upon a special few the blessing of grammar and plot. Congratulations! You don't suck! Your characters aren't a poorly made facsimile of a cardboard cutout. Your language is accessible, and your setting, while somewhat... commonfare (not that I mind. I love this shit) is more well developed than 99% of other "Isekai" stories I've read in the past. You have writing skills, humor, fanatic religious empires, a (presumably) interesting system of magic, and a main character that (hopefully) behaves like a human being from this point forward (there are only 3 chapters out, so it's difficult to gauge consistency). I could see this in publication, man. You've got skillz, and I'll definitely be reading.

Edit: Spoiler

 

Dagles
Overall
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Character

That's it!
In my humble opinion, everything about this fiction is just impeccable!

 

Since I actually have to fill 200 characters, let me elaborate: Every word feels deliberate and well thought through, which is sadly also represented in the time it takes for this fiction to progress. The grammar is flawless and I do not recount a single instance where I thought to myself that there is something funky with a sentence or a word.

All of the characters are developed and have depth (and let me change the capitalization: I really mean ALL). They have reasons for their behaviour, they have flaws and they do not deviate from their personalities for plot convenience.

The story is on the same level, where it is rich in content and itricacies, and everything feels connected and important (which is significant because as is seen in the tags it is a ”multiple-lead-characters” -story and thus jumps a lot between actions an places).

All in all a 100% recommendation to read!

slyevil19
Overall
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Grammar
Character

I started reading this story due to an amazing action scene way into it. I was hooked right after. It does have some slow moments due to switching between points of view, but if you persevere, you will be rewarded with a well thought story of fleshy characters and interesting interactions. The good news is that it all connects and doesn't bring out some deux ex machina moment into it. If you are into fulfilling stories with adventure then you'll like this a lot. The author is quick on fixing grammar and interacting to comments as well so I gave him a 5 on that too since he fixes quick. Realistically, a lot of stories have some grammar issues, but this wont hinder the reading. You'll come to love Jaquet too I hope as his wee personality touches your belly. Would definitely buy a book if there is one in the future! Keep it up Irate!