When I woke up I was greeted with the twitching face of the Blondie. It seems that I missed a part (90%) of the meeting. Well, personally I value my sleeping time and relaxation much more so that's that. Still, I might have missed something important going by the panicked Gaurdians running around and consulting each other. Though, it would look more impressive if the meeting area wasn't just a ginat blank space, aside from some chairs and a stage. Which was weird just floating around there I guess...but I should probably ask somebody.
I just realized, but I have no friends....and like 'stranger danger!' so randomly asking somebody certainly isn't happening. Mostly, because communicating with people without somehow offending them is hard...stupid society with its manners and 'correct' behaviour.
"Hey, could you at least pretend to care? Falling asleep like that is not helping my self-esteem!"
The neglected Blond-oh wait Courage suddenly starts.
"You are a lazy introvert, I know this from your file-"
Wait what! The heck? There is a file on me!? Yay! No wait, boooo! Why is my file making me sound so pathetic!?
"-but, you are still a 3-digit Gaurdian so I expect more from you. More importantly, I need your help with the problem I was speaking of earlier. Mortals aren't ascending as much anymore, and as I explained to the other Guardians already, all Guardians must try to increase the mortals ascension rate within their assigned territories."
The blo-no Courage, remember me, I can't prove that file right!!!! Still, this job seemed like a pain, but if I'm interpreting this right...I have an excuse to go randomly cause trouble for the mortals and have fun right!? As for being a 3-digit Guardian...I could care less. Technically, it's an honour, since the number is basically our ranking and a higher ranking is impressive. Especially when you have those poor saps with a name like 'Guardian 8973456780987654321E2R4G7H8', I mean that's not just a mouthful...it's just sad and pathetic. However, in my case I could have a higher ranking if I wanted! That's totally not an excuse or anything!
"So does that mean I can like...I don't know, legally blow up the mortals kingdoms for fun!?"
My question seems to have mentally disturbed Courage as he looks at me like I'm a mental patient or something...
"HEY! I-It's totally logical! If the mortals have an enemy to try to kill (not as if they have any chance of hurting me) they will work harder and grow faster right?"
Courage seems to still think I'm an idiot and now a physco if his overly exaggerated reaction is anything to go by.
"Why the hell would you even suggest that!? We are Gaurdians we are not supposed to interfere with mortals so explicitly, and we certainly aren't allowed to do mass exterminations like that! Not to mention, those are living things, have a consciense!"
So? I don't particularly care. That kind of thing like caring about mortals is too much work. Plus, if it works it doesn't need to be changed right? Not to mention...I don't owe those greedy b*****ds anything.
As I contemplate telling him this, another Guardian interrupts, "I have a question! Can I expect a promotion if I do well?" I sigh as I hear this, no shit you're going to get a better ranking if you perform well. Rookies are so annoying, but I will take advantage of this momentary distraction to tactically withdraw (run away) from this unfavourable (too much thinking required) situation.
I hear Courage shouting "Don't you dare!" as I quickly make a portal and go back to the safety and quietness of my home.