(Oneshot) I Shouldn't Have Pretended to be the Female Lead

(Oneshot) I Shouldn't Have Pretended to be the Female Lead

by ars

Some dude falls into another world and decides he’d rather live as the Heroine than go out and fight to death as the Hero. He might have changed his mind if he’d read the terms and conditions, though.

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Author
ars

ars

Simple-Minded Trash

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Word Count (6)
10 Comments
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Table of Contents
1 Chapters

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Ararara
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A short story about the (male) MC getting isekai-ed into the [Mistress of Light] in a fantasy world. It's inspired by anime, short, sweet, and really funny. Might just be one of the funniest works I've seen on Royalroad, and that's saying something.

Style score: first person present tense. We're immediately thrust into the MC's mind, which makes it easier to keep track of his thoughts and feelings, where around 50% of the jokes lie. 5/5

Story score: even for a one-chapter short story oneshot, there is a complete plot, with a clear beginning and a climax. This alone is impressive. There's also twists, and all in all the world feels real, and the story is well executed. 5/5

Grammar score: I didn't find any mistakes whatsoever, the writing is competant. It feels a bit like a light novel, and uses anime tropes to great comedic effect! 5/5

Character score: I love the MC, and could definitely emphatize with him right away, his personality is shown in a great way. He's also pretty funny, and also naive. Very entertaining. The other characters aren't too important, but we got a feel for each one. 4.5/5

Too conclude, this is definitely worth the five minutes it takes to read through, and is likely to give you a few chuckles. Very entertaining! It doesn't take itself very seriously, and this only serves to make it more charming.

Roof Monster
Overall

A very short work where a person is isekai'd and decides to take the female's much easier job in a standard JRPG isekai of hanging around the temple acting as the motivation for the hero to go out and kill the demon king.

The Pro is that it's short, sweet, to the point, and the grammar and spelling and tone is all on point for an anime-like story.

I think my only sticking point is that the ending, after he learns what the catch is, feels abrupt, and doesn't give us a sense of the character having the full weight of their choice to weasel out of the adventure bite him. I feel like it's trying to do Jo-Ha-Kyu pacing.We get the 'Jo' of steady building up to the crisis with some archtype characters, the 'ha' of him having the moment where his mistake is illuminated, but not the Kyu of what feels like an appropriate struggle or return on the character trying to bail from the story.

He doesn't have that critical moment of sweating it out, which is where the MORE uncomfortable the character is, the funnier the story is and the more impact the ending has.

Here's what I spitballed as things I felt could have been added, alone or together. Any of these could be as brisk as the set up for the crisis in the story:

a) MC really considering the embarassment and possible criminal consiquences of getting caught taking the holy priestess role

b) MC endures the stress of having to do the entire adventure in fast forward, two paragraph tops and in a dress trying to avoid a)

c) Imagining actually going through a wedding, possibly with him somehow having man kids, maybe a japanese wife joke with the otaku.

d) a sequence where he tells the priestesses that he can't marry any of them because he's a guy, and they laugh (in a very older sisterly friendly way) and tell him 'They know, why do you think they are so fired up?'

e) super happy ending one of the heroes is a cross dressing girl who didn't wanted to fight rather then be protected.

 

B as an example would match the ending given pretty well. I think there's just a little more that could go into properly capturing that feeling of just barely avoiding disaster.

KoboldPatrol
Overall

This does what a short story should: Start with the plot already moving, touch a few topics, then end with a conclusion, all the while entertaining the readers. Even with only ten pages, this isekai short story is very enjoyable. The author manages to take half a dozen clich├ęs and combines them in a very funny manner that seems to go the cliche way but then cleverly turns everything around in the last few paragraphs.

LiteraryWho
Overall

Can you see the punchline to this joke coming a mile away?
yes

Does that fact at all detract from the journey?
not in the slightest.

It's short, funny, and surprisingly clever, in a stupid sort of way.  I was skeptical, but I'm glad I gave it a shot.  If this caught your eye enough to check the reviews, then it's well worth the time to read it.

Macbethinstien
Overall

Something of a suggestion... but if the author is reading this, I'd like to suggest making this a full-blown series, cause this stuff has potential, at least in my view. Overall worth reading, interesting plot and nice cliffhanger. This. This is good.                        ..............w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w I I I I I I I I I I I I

nehon
Overall

Author does a good job with scope. They tell the story they wanted to tell. Details provided wete succinct and salient.

They managed to fit a lot of character into a very small space.  I also appreciate their sense of humor.

The scene transitions could have used an indicator (e.g. an extra space between paragraphs).

starvingsloth
Overall

This is a good short story with a fun little plot twist at the end. You should read it, it only takes ten minutes, max. 

The story is basically about a lazy guy pretended to be a maiden princess because he's afraid to be the hero. Based on the cover image and the story title, I had some expectation about the ending, but I was pleasantly surprised with the end. 

The author has stated that this story is prompted by his friend's challenge: to write a story about, and i quote, 'my phobia, a significant event, my fetish and a genre that I normally avoid'

Icura
Overall

Loved this short story. It was so hilarious.

Amethyst Saphire
Overall

The title of my review says it all. The story was also very hilarious. 

I would have made the exact same choices as the main characters. The stories grammer was also very nice which I assume happened because the author actually listened to the corrections the readers gave.

I also like the writing style( I'm not a reviewer so I really dontknow what to say)

The only thing I disliked as that the story is a one shot. Genuinely wish it was longer

nevermorecalls
Overall

I decided to go into this story blind and I'm glad I did. There are many laughs to have in this one. The concept is reminds me of an almost reversed Mulan-like tale which is not something I have seen before. It was a great twist on it.

Overall, it is a fun short read. The twist at the end and that final line really made the story for me. Great job.