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For 16-year-old Aya, life was simple. Academically gifted as one of the top students in the nation, and heralding from the renowned and wealthy Kuramoto family, it was like she was playing life on easy mode. Oh, and it didn’t hurt that she was also a complete beauty by all standards of the word, catching the heart of almost every guy in the school.
Everything was going according to plan, until the new transfer student arrived...
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Aight theres only 10 chapters but I feel theres roughly enough to give a decently detailed review, can come back later anyway ;p.
Now theres 15 oh boy :O
THE STORY THING (4 Star)
Alright so basically its a story about some rich kids in a rich kid school and one of said kids is basically the second coming to jesus for these people, hello MC, she see`s a new girl falls in love then antics happen.
Not really an original consept, ive read a manga with the same kinda idea except both are the second coming to jesus, but the author has done this well so far so cant really fault them for anything so a solid 4.
THE STYLE STUFF (4 Stars)
I just always put this at 4 since I dont know what a good style story is¯\_(ツ)_/¯
THE GRAMMER YAY (5 Stars)
No spelling errors from what I see or none that are noticable enough to care about.
THE CHARACTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS (3.8 stars)
Ok let me make this straight the two main characters are realy enjoyable and are like 4.2`s but all the other characters, extras, side characters etc. drag this score down since there kinda pretty bad like a 3.5 in my book.
Anyway more in depth for each of them.
AYA- She starts off a rude prick but becomes more loveable pretty quickly. Also her libido is higher than a rabbit in heat which is pretty bloody funny and leads to amusing moments... also molesty moments but whatcha gonna do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
UPDATE: Ok I found some issues with Aya, shes too perfect. As of Chapter 15 she is rich, popular, second coming of jeezus, beutiful, strong as fuck she took out 4 dudes unharmed and intelligent and im worrying that shes becoming a bit of a Mary Sue.
HIKARU- Hikaru is the love interest and her character design is about as original as a Call Of Duty, sorry to say. However that dosnt mean shes bad though. She is the "Cute, innocent, naive, flat as a board" character trope which I personnaly enjoy and the author did well at making her C U T E A S H E L L so she is my favourite character so far, though I have issues with her which I will mention in a minute.
Update2: K minutes done.
Hikaru is best girl, fact, but at the same time she has a VERY annoying trope. The "I'm so nice saints seem like pricks in comparison" trope. When people get bullied they hold grudges get angry etc.
When Hikaru gets assaulted and mentally abused she gives 0 fucks and just wants to be friends with the person who was holding her down while she was getting beaten... wat.
I know the author wants her to be the nice, cute, "where is my ironing board my clothes are wrinkled oh wait there is Hikaru" character but NO ONE can be that nice.
She would be more of a believable character if at first she was like "Fuck you >:(" then she sees, the one who shall not be named, get bullied and decides "Aight she may be a prick but I am not, pls staph"
Its not too big of a deal but it makes her feel like less of a character during those chapters and more of a stereotype. However this is remedied fairly quickly as she is then made so cute that I want to combust into rainbows. Once Aya and Hikaru get alone time though she becomes an amazing character, so good job there Author.
SANA- She exists... thats it, she exists. She dosnt add anything to conversations it seems and dosnt really do anything important either. Nothing irritating about her character like the next one but nothing likeable either. A flat 3 character
FUCKING FUMIKO- And that is the last time her name will be used and she shall be known as "That Other Fuck". Hate is a strong word, still not strong enough for how I feel about Fumiko. I think the author wanted us to dislike but if thats the case they did too good a job since whenever shes mentioned in the story I just want her to leave. She does nothing but be rude and at one part cockblocks the fuck out of Aya one of the bro code sins and bullys Hikaru for fuck all reason. And no I dont find "Aya said she was annoying" a reason for mild kidnapping, mental abuse and restraining her so she cant escape as she gets beaten up. Why does she exist? If she dosnt learn to not be a fuck boy soon Ill have a rage based aneurism.
And after 20 minutes still havnt finished my review... so umm 60% finished review ill finish it later I have work woops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So this is the end of the PROPER reveiw and I reccomend you read it, however the next part is me mainly bitching to get it off my chest and mainly complain about the black sheep of this story in my opinion Chapter 15.
WARNING FOLLOWING CONTENT INCLUDES MASS AMOUNT OF BITCHING WITH LITTLE TO NO FLOW WITH PERSONAL GREIVANCES THAT WOULD PROBS ONLY MATTER TO ME, PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK
I COMPLAIN ABOUT CONSEQUENCES AND CHARACTER GROWTH AND SHIT FOR X AMOUNT OF WORDS
Ok I like this story I really do but there is one, in my opinion, M A H O O S I V E issue with it. There are no consequences.
Now I dont just complain about this since im an asshole that wants metaphorical blood, I do this since consequences shape people and without them nothing will really ever progress.
And 2 people in this story who need the most character growth have the least consequences.
Aya and That Other Fuck.
Aya is a rich, proud, vain girl who fell in love with nice girl. Aya does whatever she wants wether it be assault or sexual harrasment/kinda rape.
That Other Fuck is a mean, rude, violent piece of work that seemingly solves half her problems with assault.
Now normally people like these would change because
A. Somone would show them being nice and not a fuck wit is pretty good (Hikaru to Aya)
B. They Get into a fuck load of trouble and realise its time to change their ways (That Other Fuck)
Aya has a good few times been made by Hikaru to stop bad shit from happening to people. Normally in plots this person would slowly understand the reasoning why they do this under contemplation and hanging out with the nice person.
However all Aya thinks of is how being nice will get her in Hikarus pants... ok. She dosnt contemplate at all and even being around Hikarus SAINTliness nothing has rubbed off at all it seems. However this novel is in very early days atm, tho it seems to move at a mile per minute at times, so this is kinda understandable.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut the second category is veeeeeeeeery not understandable.
Over the period of this novels existing 15 chapters a mininum of 5 assault crimes have happened, 2 sexual assaults, good amount of harrasment and probably other stuff that I missed.
That Other Fuck has started two of these assaults, is most of the harrasment, and one of the sexual assaults.
"Holy shit" you may think "She is like in Juvy now right!?" Nope.
Nothing at all has happened to her except the mild disaproval of Aya.
And because she at all isnt punished for this her attitude has not changed in the slightest from when she bullying Hikaru. She did not feel any guilt remourse or anything. Also Aya gets away with whatever she wants like kind of Raping Hikaru and kicking a guy in the dick for no reason but Fuck me this shits getting long and im getting tired.
I really like this novel and im really bad at articulation, but I hope the author can see what im trying to get at here. Even tho this is a slice of life comedy THERE NEEDS TO BE CONSEQUENCES for proper growth.
Also ima just state off a few plot holes and general grevances here
1. Where the fuck are the teachers in any of these incidents
2. Why does Hikaru have the mental age of a 11 year old. Was she a shelterd child, I want to know please tell me :C
3. WHY IS SHE SO NICE!?
4. Why are these kids insanse, I get what your going at here but a whole classroom just letting this girl get stripped or let bullying happen is kind of ridiculous.
5. WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS!?
6. If these kids are that bloody rich and powerful why dont they simply sue whoever looks at them funny let alone tries to cut them with a box cutter
7. After the big bloody fight in chapter 15 and the stripping in front of a class how did the school just go on like normal
8. Is stripping somone in front of a class and holding them down as you beat them sexual assault? pretty sure it is. 9. Anyone else feel bad for Hikaru when Aya is groping her? I mean we think it's neat at the time but when you think about it that shits a lil fucked when from memory Hikaru was scared shitless.
Again author, I love your story but some parts of it SERIOUSLY hold it back from the MASTER PIECE I know it can be.
Lord Of Mild Interest Signing out for now with another reveiw I spent too fucking long on its been like 2 hours.
Found this story and read it all in one day. I really loved it. Lots of drama in this story for those that like it that way. Writing and grammar is good only a few mistakes here and there. Reading about Aya's developing feelings for Hikaru was enjoyable, but I do hope that someday this story will have an ending.
I absolutely Love your book! It's The Best "Yuri" type book that I've read so far. It's very well written, and if you made any mistakes.. I hadn't noticed because I was too busy being sucked into your Story. It was purely Captivating! I have to admit that it also turned Me on sooo much. ^.^ I love the Characters that you have created. The Comedy and the Drama is perfectly placed. I'm excited and anxiously awaiting for more Chapters. Thank You for writing such a wonderful Book. I hope you intend to sell it in the future on Kindle or turn it into a paper novel, or something. Because even if I finish reading it. I still want to be able to buy it, to own and read it again and again. So... "Thank You" for writing. :)
I loved this, by far one if not my favorite story I've read, I had to recommend it to my friend, if you love romance and fl/yuri you're going to love this, the relationship is a bit unrealistic as you expect with any story but it's erotic, but the emotions conveyed well enough that I felt like they could be real people, I loved everything about this, i love reading every single page usually in this site I skip over champters or pages that are just clumped in or seem out of place but I actually read every single page and chapter and word I couldn't put it down spent 11 hours reading and re reading in a day, sadly the ending doesn't feel completed :( but either way wonderful story will re read again and again anytime I need a story to go to, loved this I'm glad I found it. I'd prefer if the ending felt well like an ending and the bullying felt so fake like no one would ever bully anyone like that, the length they go to for bullying is actually silly and made me laugh as to how stupid it was, the only thing that saved this was the relationship and once it got past all the dumb bullying plot that led no where and didn't have to be there at all
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there was a new chapter 12 days ago after 14 months of waiting !
okay so i never reviewed this fiction when it was originially coming out and i forgot about it after but i honestly love it !
i was sad that the author took such a long break but omg you're back hopefully !
this is more of an encouregement to the author to keep writing this than an actual review so sorry
but yeah, this is a really cute and wholesome story and is honestly one of my favourites on the site
please keep doing what you're doing author !
The story follows the shenanigans of aya as she falls in love with her new classmate hikaru and their daily life.
the story is masterfully writting to make all reasonable, apealing an give the reader a fluffy and happy time depisate the fact that other poin of view would give this story a grimdark, tragedy and psychologycal tag.
as for why... well lest say aya will never be able to do a detailed explanation of why she as some would say have to "take responsability" for hikaru without going to jail