NeoRealm - Staring back into the Future

by akhier the dragon hearted

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Reincarnation Strong Lead Supernatural Virtual Reality

Jason has just turned 18 and will be finally be able to play The biggest VR game out there, NeoRealm. Using a bit of knowledge from his past (life) he wants to start his adult life with a bang. Taking the roadless traveled will sound quiant compare to where he wants to go.

~NeoRealm~ the most realistic VR game to date. A Fantasy world which even after years of exploration is still mostly unknown. Want to experience the mysteries of the Arcane? Become one of the many types of Magic Users and work to improve your ranking till you can move mountains, or just flatten them if you prefer. Do you just desire to wield sheer physical power? Then train your melee skills beyond all others and decimate towns with a single swing. Or maybe you just want to know what its like to be a cat person. We have those too. Come on in and join us at 5x the speed of boring old reality (you heard us right, not your average everyday 4x time compression!). *WARNING - limited to those age 18 and up, we are not responsible for any minor losing their grasp on reality, sanity, or species

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akhier the dragon hearted

akhier the dragon hearted

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue - Wherein we get the whole reincarnation thing over with ago
Chapter 1 - 18 going on 36 ago
Chapter 2 - Completing the Tutorial ago
Chapter 3 - Punching and Kicking ago
Chapter 4 - Starter Town Choices ago
Chapter 5 - Into Town ago
Chapter 6 - The Request ago
Chapter 7 - Energetic Tortoise ago
Chapter 8 - Heartcore I Guess ago
Chapter 9 - Forming the Cycle ago
Chapter 10 - Adventure? ago
Chapter 11 - Goblins Goblins Goblins ago
Chapter 12 - Warg Fighting ago
Chapter 13 - Downside of Purity ago
Chapter 14 - Teaming Up? ago
Chapter 15 - Skill Talk ago
Chapter 16 - Movement Training ago
Chapter 17 - Skills Get ago
Chapter 18 - Out on the town for some Pots ago
Chapter 19 - Furry Distractions ago
Chapter 20 - Horned Rabbits ago
Chapter 21 - Boss Fight ago
Chapter 22 - Another View ago
Chapter 23 - Finally the Quest reward ago
Chapter 24 - Why Would We? ago
Chapter 25 - Meeting the Captain ago
Chapter 26 - To the Docks? ago
Chapter 27 - An angel and some chatter ago
Chapter 28 - Wasting Time on Paperwork ago
Chapter 29 - Pigs and Squirrels ago
Chapter 30 - Forest Knock Out ago
Chapter 31 - Let's Just Hide ago
Chapter 32 - Waiting and Paperwork ago
Chapter 33 - Physically Carried to Court ago
Chapter 34 - Shut Up Wolfkin ago
Chapter 35 - Lawyer Wolfkin Jumps Ship ago
Chapter 36 - Parting Ways ago
Chapter 37 - Penny's Magical Map ago
Chapter 38 - Finalizing the Travel Plans ago
Chapter 39 - Jogging All Day ago
Chapter 40 - An Enemy Appears ago
Chapter 41 - Warped Panther Fight ago
Chapter 42 - Nubbed, Fledgling, and Spiky ago
Chapter 43 - Punching and Rabbits ago
Chapter 44 - Long Legs and Insectoids ago
Chapter 45 - Variant Skill ago
Chapter 46 - Truth of the Body ago
Chapter 47 - Only Death or Rebirth ago
Chapter 48 - Taking Stock and Renaming ago
Chapter 49 - Picking on Birds ago
Chapter 50 - Fluffy Bird in Charge ago
Chapter 51 - Honorable End ago
Chapter 52 - Thinking about Stats ago
Chapter 53 - Impossible Creatures ago
Chapter 54 - Wolves but Different ago
Chapter 55 - New Skill Get ago
Chapter 56 - Not Going in There ago
Chapter 57 - Hypocrites' Cookies ago
Chapter 58 - More Animal Headed Goblins ago
Chapter 59 - Not a Quest ago
Chapter 60 - Trimming Buds ago
Chapter 61 - Buds the Morning After ago
Chapter 62 - Venom Made Him Flesh Again ago
Chapter 63 - Almost Fights ago
Chapter 64 - Considering the Future ago
Chapter 65 - Moving Further ago
Chapter 66 - Traveling Far and Vine ago
Chapter 67 - Electric Tricycle ago
Chapter 68 - Tired Jackalope ago
Chapter 69 - Forgotten Bonuses ago
Chapter 70 - A Kit ago
Chapter 71 - Totally a Normal Rabbit ago
Chapter 72 - A Serf ago
Chapter 73 - Scratchy Pinecone ago
Chapter 74 - She was here first ago
Chapter 75 - Jarr, Twig, or Nameless ago
Chapter 76 - Letters ago
Chapter 77 - Plants Unlimited ago
Chapter 78 - Judgy Nole ago
Chapter 79 - Volcanic Rose Creeper ago
Chapter 80 - A Log and Blood ago
Chapter 81 - The Spies Left Already ago
Chapter 82 - Rosha's Letter ago
Chapter 83 - James' Letter ago
Chapter 84 - Bunny Talk ago
Chapter 85 - Too Easy? ago
Chapter 86 - Not Many are Around ago
Chapter 87 - Follow Up Letter ago
Chapter 88 - Binding ago
Chapter 89 - Leather ago
Chapter 90 - Cool Scanner ago
Chapter 91 - Lily Hides ago
Chapter 92 - Squirrel? ago

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  • Overall Score
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There's quite a bit here to go over.

I'll start with the style. The story is written in the third-person present tense. As a rule, the present tense often makes for a poor medium of composition unless the writer is aiming for an extremely emotional and personal feel, which this story does not intend. It also locks the reader into the stream of consciousness of the perspective character and the elements of their immediate surroundings, which severely limits one's ability to get a feel for the wider world. This creates particularly acute problems in a fictitious world, as the reader is utterly dependent on the story for an explanation of how things work. Neorealm manages to overcome these complications, but at a huge cost. A great deal of the main character's mental real-estate is consumed explaining the world and its mechanics, leaving little room for introspection, emotional reflection, or internal character development.

The game-based elements are handled pretty well. The text boxes are large but they're well formatted, and the author does his best to avoid burying the reader in statistics. Early on in the story the action was cluttered with combat numbers, but the author made the wise decision a little later to remove them, and did so deftly without disrupting the story.

On the subject of the story: the foundation is solid. The author clearly has a huge world in mind, and the level of detail comes through both clearly and beautifully, although the mechanical explanations of certain plot elements can sometimes get a little dense. Sometimes an ounce of artistry is worth a pound of exposition. It's also worth notinng that the story suffers from the lack of a clear antagonist. The protagonit's short-run quest is original, creative, and does a reasonable job of maintaining the reader's interest, but without some kind of over-arching goal in mind, eventually the desire to keep reading wears thin. An earlier introduction to supporting characters might help correct this problem, as the story would be able to get some extra milage out of character development.

From a technical perspective, Neorealm does okay. There are some problems with poorly-handled fourth wall breaks and grammatical errors, but they're not terribly frequent and the text remains easy to read.

All in all, Neorealm is a reasonable read. The areas where the story and the composition fall short don't condemn it, but with a more directed plot and a little more focus on who the characters are, the story would graduate from an interesting diversion to a must read.

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Hace mixed feelings..

Have potential

Gramma nd vocabs errors are ignorable to ome extent but.... 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 Maybe recommend as time killer ?

I mean it is midly entertaining with such concep and all..