The Coming of Magic : A World in Chaos

The Coming of Magic : A World in Chaos

by Twin258

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Two brothers, far from home when disaster strikes the earth. Can they make it home? Will there be anything left to go home to? Who will they still be when they get there?

Magic has come to earth and Jack and his brother Bryan have to traverse a postapocolyptic U.S.A. All while making friends, meeting old ones, adjusting to the new world and of course making some pretty serious enemies. 

 

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This is my first book so bare with me here! Any input helps a ton! I do take suggestions seriously. I have 30+ chapters written ahead of time but they still need some polishing and editing to post each one. Please point out any errors you find in the comments! I read every one and reply to most! Release schedule is not set in stone right now as my schedule is very hectic. I promise I will not drop this and try to post at least every other day. Every 3 Days max. Thanks again for taking the time to read my story!

 

NOTE: THERE WILL BE COMBAT, BRUTALITY,  MINOR GORE AND MINOR LANGUAGE. Also minor romantic situations. If it gets out of hand I'll add the tags for it.

11/30/17 I just updated some middle chapters. There were some bad spelling and grammar mistakes. In my defense I posted those chapters on my honeymoon lol. It should flow better now. I know the prologue is still troublesome but give it a shot beyond that. It gets much better.

12/5/17 I have been updating some of the earlier chapters. Nothing canon changing but it’s fleshed out a bit and flows better. Also fixed some glaring mistakes. 

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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Twin258

Twin258

Twin

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EternityGamer
Overall

The story is quite interesting and the author has really good grammar also I have a feeling if the author keeps writing this it'll become a well known RRL book 

ByTheNumbers
Overall

This is a great story so far (ch 18) with the most real characters I have found on this site. Basically the characters feel like real people that anyone could know and the dialogue feels nature. Those two traits alone seperate it from most web novels I read on this site. Keep up the good work! 

Vylric
Overall

As of Chapter 8 I already find myself deeply interested in this book. I really hope the author doesn't drop this. I AM HOOKED!! 

Susurrus
Overall
Ok I stumbled across this wee gem and thought id give it a go. Now I know there is only 7 chapters so far but it's got me hooked! Ignoring the prologue which is more of a story set up and background than an actual chapter. The rest is both well written and a gold read. You start to feel for the characters from the get go (Who's not got siblings like that?). I'm interested in seeing where this will all go now. And why certain people are forming attachments so quickly (I'm guessing that'll come out as we go tho?). 
 
Anyway. Keep up the great work and I can't wait for more chapters! 
God_is_Good
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Facinating read, really gripping

Amazing work, a wonderful story that really grabbed me and drew me in.  I love it.  Let me give a brief run through of why I gave each score.  

Style score:  A really unique voice and facinating take on things, although as many people already commented, your beginning is very slow.  I feel like you spent too much time talking about your characters doing every day things.  On the surface, this is really good, because it establishes their lives and gives us a peek into who they are, but with too much, it gets to be boring and monotonos.  We want to watch stuff happen, and if the action takes too long to come, readers will get bored.

Grammar score:  Very solid grammar, very little improvement needed here.  I noticed mistakes here and there, but that's normal and didn't obstruct my reading experience at all.  No need to worry about this.

Story score:  Very intriguing plot and vivid and creative ideas.  This is perhaps the author's strongest point.  I won't give many details, because I don't know how much the author wants to reveal, but this is an amazing story that I very much look forwards to.  Strong, and well thought out. 

Character score:  Your characters were incredibly realistic and I felt like I could relate to both Bryan and Jack at a very deep level.  They are so well written and so well crafted, so great job there.  Facinating.  Absolutely facinating.