Elemental God

by krndark

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Martial Arts Supernatural
Azuel is a demon that had lived his life fueled by the urge of revenge....Finally fulfilling his goal, he embraces death but fate has another plan for him.....
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  • Pages :
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krndark

krndark

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20 Comments
Word Count (11)
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siox
  • Overall Score

another awesome story dropped without notice for no apparent reason...

Lynx
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One of the best Fan Fic, but....

Although i said that on the title. i also need to add that this fan fic almost look like Coiling Dragon with just a different MC background.

The magic test, the academy, the rich roommate.....almost like reading Coiling Dragon all over again

 

I hope the rest of the chapter will differ from CD

OverLordMaster
  • Overall Score

could you please update! or could you tell me if you are going to continue it?

Starlit
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I have really enjoyed your story! The way you developed your main character and his friends is great. I also like the fact that you have connected his past love with his present life even if she dose not remember him. please keep writing this i am looking forward to their further development. I hope that you continue to write your story and add more chapters soon.

John Kash
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Great story Great MC Really looking forward to how it progresses. 

DevilAsura
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The story is starting a little bit confusing but after the previous life everything makes sinn.

I really like the 3 elementals and the MC they are a really a nice and unique idea for a story!

 

Currently iam at the last chapter and hope you will continue your story with the same effort

And not to forget i will continue to read your Story

rowen12353
  • Overall Score

i read the description and then the prologue and just have to say this: it looks smells tastes and feels just like Forgotten Conqueror especially the first part of the prologue.

Aonte
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Not Enough Racism by Zed

The story itself is average, predictable to some extent and when it’s not, the story lacks proper explanation.

 

You write the idea and it’s understandable as it is, but adding a explanation, more descriptions (avoid Person’s style) and comparing it would make it better. Especially the comparing, the bird was magnificent and? Compare it, please.

 

The style is weird, it seems like you’re writing in present tense and rewriting it in past tense later. I recommend you to read some guides about the use of past tense and present tense in novels.

 

Past tense works better to describe events with a weird chronological order and gives more personality to the character. While Present tense works better for immediate events and helps to keep the reading pace.

 

The grammar, I prd some chapters and it was average, nothing bad with it as long as you fix the ratch’s style sentences.

 

The character, until now you had not described properly the MC’s emotions and the sides characters seems to be lacking. The MC that and this end, That’s how I see it. I think Yukino said it before, but I repeat it, I can’t connect with the MC.

AMP
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As one of the other reviews stated, I suggest you give the other characters more depth. I like the overall plot development even though sometimes it does feel it goes on too fast but it's still a great story! Keep up the great work and make sure you pace yourself so that you don't burn out. 

MouseG
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Review of "Elemental God"

The story so far is interesting, it has a lot of potential but I feel like the fast pacing is a obstacle. Obviously there is a reason for this, seeing as the author might want the "childhood period" over quickly, to let our MC out on his adventures.

 

Even if this is not the reason, I suggest to the author that he/she slows down the pacing a little, seeing as a lot of years had gone by in such a short amount of chapters. Develop the characters more, the twins for example, right now they just exist to give our MC moral support. Perphaps give one of the twins a chapter from their point of view, seeing their brother train, having their own thoughts about it and developing their own lives. Give their characters some depth. 

 

The chapters are coming out rather quickly, twice a day it seems. Which in my opinion is really fast, obviously a good thing that many chapters gets released but can you as the author keep up with the pace? If you have chapters prepared to be released then make up a schedule so that you dont run out of chapters to fast, leaving a huge gap. If you can keep up the pace however, thats great. As long as quality wise the chapters stay the same, I'm happy. +1

 

Grammar could do with some work, its not bad but there are some places in the chapters that need a little work. Nothing to worry about but I suggest that if you want higher quality releases, you should seek out a proofreader in the forums. It is not hard to find one willing to help, most of the people in the forums are nice.

 

I also suggest to give the MC a not too  easy life in the new world, dont make him too OP. He will just appear as a plain character that way, give him obstacles to overcome, friendships to be made. Dont be lazy and say "three years later, I am now God level rank". Show us how he got there instead.

 

Gahh, this review took the last out of me... Short as it is.

 

This review was made at the release of "Chapter 4: Anguish"

 

~ MouseG