Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

In a future where people still work 9-5 jobs and students wrangle with their unpayable debts, virtual reality has become an everyday activity.

Ryu, a typical teenage boy with not-so unique interests, is unnaturally average, and, unfortunately for him, this extends to the virtual world. However, where some would say “work harder,” Ryu says “work less,” and so he cheats. Or at least he tries.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 167,582
  • Average Views :
  • 4,297
  • Followers :
  • 613
  • Favorites :
  • 68
  • Ratings :
  • 88
  • Pages :
  • 99
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
ilikehentai

ilikehentai

I HATE NTR

Achievements
Word Count (VII)
100 Comments
Fledgling Reviewer (I)
5 Review Upvotes
Top List #1000
500 Followers
100,000 Views
4th Anniversary
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
GreenKing
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Story Requires a Specific Taste

I rarely leave reviews but I feel compelled to. The story lacks details, like a lot of them. If the main character is described as average and apparently is poor in math and other subjects why is he a master programmer in high school. The author implies that he wrote all the code on his own and unless hes a savant that is extremely unlikely. Since the entire story is built on this concept and 30 chapters in theres no explanation it already falters.

~Spoilers Below~

Now author my man I dont want to rip into you. I really think this story has some really good aspects enough that I tried to give it a shot. But you throw reason, rationale, and reality out the window in multiple places. You have a really cool VR concept and i think you really could have developed it more.

Lastly please write interactions between characters better.

Pros: Decent Grammer and a UNIQUE style

Cons: Not Everyones cup of tea.

Edit~ Believe aspects of the story have more potential and with polish could be better.

Saphyron
Overall

Pretty good so far. Good Grammar.

I will not do any review until this story has reached at least 15 or more chapters, but what I have read so far is pretty interesting and the grammar is above average.

Aselo
Overall

What a cool concept very interesting so far (chapter 15).

NeedsMoreSoySauce
Overall

A nice new approach in story telling. Frequent chapter releases which contrasts heavily with his more well known work "My Thoughts Exactly". The overall tone of the story is more darker and serious at different points creating an unknown and mysterious atmosphere, which draws in readers wanting more. 

Pros: Accurate grammer, excellent world building, relatable characters, Frequently updated.
Cons: No NTR 

Boss_of_life
Overall

For readers: "This story is a really good (at least for my twisted tastes) and I honestly recomend reading it."

For author of this story: "I love it and I hope you keep up the good job!"

Hevveh
Overall

I like the general concept, it separates itself from other fictions on this site. I look toward towards fire development and how the story progresses. Grammar is fine and there aren’t many errors, frequent updates keep me hooked. I hope this story continues.

BinLox
Overall

Funny as hell. I rarely bookmark, and this one got one.

Alexander Olive Oil
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The other type of novel I liked aside from immortal heroes are game elements and those with virtual reality premise.

The story is interesting enough while the grammar is considerable. It's better than most but not perfect.

Characters can be further developed to make them more relatable not unless that's not your intention then that'll also be fine.