Rebirth Online II
Warning:this story may have some spoiler for Rebirth Online...
Here's the link for the original novel. http://www.royalroadl.com/fiction/1409
On hiatus/on holiday because the writer is immersed in ecchi story..
I currently writes a new series called summoned hero. Here's the link http://www.royalroadl.com/fiction/1618
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I will give you some advices
1. Try to make the mc do the action do not speak for the action.Example: He was a noob that acted like a pro.You should let that get understood by the reader.Don’t use the author voice because that sucks.
2..It is better if you make your mc more op than weak and stupid.
3.Add tables https://www.royalroad.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=5897