Mana is no longer capitalized (was annoying to look at (might have missed a few, so some may still be capped))
Drastically reduced number of ‘Shits’ overall
Increased the role/power of the church, only slightly, but the church (and priests) are far more apparent than before, instead of just being an afterthought
POV changes - now have headers to indicate the POVs character
Removed “total level” from classification tab
When increasing multiple levels of the same classification, it no longer adds the information separately. Ex: Leveling Rev from 2-4 would no longer say “Revenant has reached level 3… Revenant has reached level 4” but will now just say “Revenant has reached level 4. +2 strength +2 cons, skill description updated”
Changed a lot of reactions, or words that describe reactions to be more accurate or less exagerated… Hard to explain, but this can kind of change the ‘feel’ of the characters. It was mostly things that I felt were overreactions, or just cringey (was especially bad in earlier chapters). A good example: I swapped the word ‘shocked’ to describe Dante’s reaction, to something else like ‘surprised’ or ‘thoroughly surprised’ in a lot of places, especially when the surprises were minor. Something like that might seem small, but it makes dante’s character feel more… competent?
Changed academy ‘quarters’ back to ‘semesters’ (yes, I realize that it isn’t technically correct, but quarters just sounds completely stupid to me, so I switched it back xD)
Prologue: Got his status
Changed Dante to give him a more “’this is just how it is’ attitude” (slightly more than before)
Made it so priests spread superstition based on his looks, which is what led to him being treated so poorly, Alazel’s head priest has a slightly more hands-off approach toward him (like a ‘who cares’) which is why it is safer for him to live there
Made it so people have the option to show their classification or not when they get them, but they all choose to reveal them because none of them are leaving Alazel, and don’t need to worry about being farmed for exp (world essence)
Head priest was so astonished that Dante didn’t get a classification and he said “No classification?” without Dante’s permission, which is how it was found out. (sounds bad, but that is just a summary xD)
Made Dante’s past less clear. “First memory was of rummaging through trash years ago, before that he remembered nothing.” Gives some wiggle room with where he came from.
Took out any mention of Classification name changing through specializing (when I did warrior -> Knight -> etc)
Instead of weird smile when Dante sees that he can choose four Classifications, he now wonders where he really came from.
Chapter 1: Got his glove
Changed the description of mage classification in the beginning of chapter. Was, uses their power to affect the world in various ways. Now, uses their control over mana to impact the world around them (mana manip)
Changed Greggory’s father’s overall feel. No longer was a minor noble in the Outer region – no longer makes sense with how the world developed – just mentions him getting kicked out of the Outer region because his family was slaughtered by a rival (aside from Greggory) and thanks to his power as a specialized combatant he is able to rule over a smaller town like Alazel
Added a thought of “I could tie a rag around my wrist to hide my classification, but it would be too suspicious”
Made it that people wouldn’t sell to him because the priests had the business boycotted for a week after it sold to him, before they were just boycotted by the town as a whole with no real reason
Changed the encounter with the old woman who gave him the glove. Pretty much the same, but added some surprise from dante because he had thought that the shop was run by an old man before he met her.
Chapter 2: Chose Classifications/skills
Redid the rationalization for the class choices, basically just redid the thought process, nothing too major of a change, and he still doesn’t have some mentor or figure/hero he looked up to that influenced his choices, thought that would ruin the feel of Dante’s character so early in the book
Changed the definition of Int and Wis. Int just gives better memorization skills, Wis gives better understanding. Basically, Wis just increases your ability to understand the world around you. (not on some microbial level, just helps draw conclusions if that makes sense)
Teleportation is now a known thing (mostly just rumored to be an ability of rare artifacts, which is how Dante knows. He thought that it was just a rumor prior to actually seeing Blink)
Changed Charismas early definition. Dante’s early understanding of the attribute is now; based on both looks and charm.
Blink has an initial cost of 30 instead of 20, will no longer increase when leveled.
Create Blade now has a starting cost of 50 instead of 40. It didn’t have a real affect on the skills usefulness, so my OCD made the change (cost a max of 75 at level 10)
Time acceleration and deceleration skills nerfed. Acceleration now 1.2 times normal speed. Deceleration now .9 times normal speed.
Chapter 3: Leave Alazel, kill Isaac/Roderick
Added a bit more forethought before he killed Isaac when the fight started. (“should I really do this?” moment). Also, made it so that when he Blinked behind Isaac when Roderick attacked him; was to escape from Isaac’s line of sight, in case he unslung his bow from his shoulder. Makes the opportunity to kill Isaac (blinking behind him) something more of an opportunistic moment rather than just going for a kill.
Chapter 4: Wolf fight
Didn’t mention him ‘cleaning the rabbit’ for you complainers
Changed the number of wolves from 13 to 9 because Blink cost more now. World essence gain from fight will remain the same.
Foreshadowed both the effects of the glove (very slightly) and the effects of rebirths downside at the end of the fight
Chapter 5: Greggory and innkeepers daughter/rebirth of rev making Dante tired/eating wolf
Greggory no longer did anything to the innkeepers daughter (too dark for beginning of book xD). Now, he gets angry that the innkeeper is keeping his daughter hidden, and also angry when he sees the innkeepers relief when he about to leave. So, he shoves the innkeeper to the ground. when the innkeeper cowers, he is happy with the reaction he got and drunkenly stumbles to the door. Greggory sees a lantern sitting on a table on his way out, he gets a ‘brilliant idea’. One thing leads to another, sets inn on fire, innkeeper rushes over to put it out. He knocks the innkeeper unconscious for daring to put out his fire xD. (drunk logic)
Made it so when Dante tried to feed mana into Blink after his rebirth of the rev passive made him too tired to walk after the wolf fight, channeling the mana into the skill was too painful. (I don’t know how no one pointed this out. He crawled on the bank for hours without using blink xD)
Creature meat no longer decreases the more you eat of it (like a building resistance kinda thing), and now, the world essence slowly leaks out of the creatures body after it dies. (fresher the kill = more world essence)
Wolves no longer gave him 6-7 world essence and now gave him 8-9 world essence. Overall gain is the same, but I shrunk the total number of wolves down and kept the total world essence gain the same because it would have required needless changes
Chapter 6: Greggory’s father having Greggory flogged/Dante meeting Edward and Sam
Some overall changes to Greggory’s father. First, his name is Edwin. He is mad at Greggory for burning down half the city. The riots started because the fire touched the merchants district, causing the merchant guilds to setup the riots in an act of retaliation for what Greggory did.
Now, the reason why he wont just go out and put down the riot himself is because he is afraid of the church taking advantage of the situation if he tries to rule with an iron fist. Thinking that they will take the moral high ground and try to abdicate him. This is an overall change to his demeanor, making him far more pragmatic overall, instead of how emotional the response might have seemed prior to the edit.
For the most part, the trip with Edward/sam was relatively the same. But when I re-did the dialogue (just cleaned it up) I added a bit of foreshadowing, very minor and not noticable, but emphasis on some of the things Sam said to Edward, to make it fall in line with the way things go.
Took out any mention of ‘total level’ required to join the party.
Chapter 7: Tracker finding Isaac’s corpse/dungeon party camp/clear dungeon until boss fight
Only real change this chapter was the dungeon party itself. Made the other members, aside from sam Edward and lance, seem like rugged looking bandits when Dante walked into camp. Makes it so Dante has no interest in getting to know them at all, so that they didn’t feel so NPC-like without me going in and adding names/personalities, only to kill them in the next chapter.
Chapter 8: Edward inviting Dante to compete in tourney/Dante experiment on corpses/Sam and Edward convo
After desecrating the bodies, Dante is so sickened by what he did (after throwing up a few times) that he chooses not to loot the bodies, because he had just thoroughly desecrated them
In the convo between Edward and sam at the end, I took out the ominous “you don’t mean?” and “to achieve greatness, there must be sacrifices” or whatever it was before I changed it. Now it just cuts off with sam thinking that Diana will be a nightmare if Edward forces her into a marriage. (I had a plan for that, and I could still do it, but I doubt I will)
Chapter 9: Killing goblin dungeon boss
Nothing really changed here.
Chapter 10: Greggory on his way to academy, meeting Alexander/Layla/Sir Andres, joins them in carriage
Greggory and Herman are now travelling to the academy, and not Kenguard xD
Adjusted a lot of dialogue, and power dynamics of the group to fall more in line with how they should. Layla takes charge instead of Alexander, and Alexander has a brief moment of hesitation when she invites Dante to go with them, but ultimately wants Dante to go (not reluctant for Dante to join yet because he doesn’t know Dante’s classification, but hesitates nonetheless)
Knight, is now a title for specialized close combat classifications. Has nothing to do with warrior classification. Changes Sir Andres’ potential Classification(s)
Chapter 11: Layla/Alexander talking to him. Sir Andres is about to test him.
Mostly just tweaked the dialogue. Tweaked who said what, rewrote things to make things clear… etc. Pretty much just made Layla the one who was trying to find out his Classification instead of Alexander. There was also a brief moment of alexander saying. “Sir Andres said combatants in the outer edge don’t like to reveal their classifications” to try to secretly stop Layla, but other than that, no changes. Same result.
Emphasized that lords are bought off to send their combatants to the academy
Chapter 12: Fight sir andres, carriage ride continued, sees destroyed caravan at the end of chapter
Changed some wording in the fight with sir andres. “reverberations of the swords clashing almost made him lose his grip” to “impact of the swords clashing”. Dante’s weapons are made of a certain type of magic metal, no reverberations.
Tweak dialogue roles for Layla/Alexander
Added section in there where Layla hints that academy is dangerous, but not as dangerous as being a solo combat classification leveling on your own (small justification on why people might go there)
Chapter 13: Sent off sir andres to find bandits, rode in carriage, fought off ambush
The reason Layla needed to get Alexander to order sir Andres was because sir andres received orders from Layla’s mom (andrea) not to listen to Layla’s orders if it went against his judgement on the trip to the academy
Layla’s reason for sending away sir andres to search for bandits is because he doesn’t have to follow her orders
Chapter 14: Last of the carriage ride, mention of the campaign, ended at the academy
Sir Andres was no longer injured as a result of putting down the brigands (6 guards who were with him were still killed)
Added some more foreshadowing to academy’s brutal fighting:
The group that attacked them is now a group rebelling against the calmans, and targeting any supply/group heading to the academy. (Dante notes it to be an alarming sign, but after the way the attackers desecrated the corpses of the people they killed, he doesn’t see it to be a substantial warning because of how little he thinks of them)
Alexander now states that their primary reason for going to the academy is to get experience in leadership, secondary is combat experience.
Layla says that training at the academy is effective because you can fight against people of equal skill/level with a lower rate of casualties - from restrictions of the arena. Dante has a moment of “Shit’s more dangerous than I thought (pretty much)” Still justified under the ‘better chance of living than trying to level alone’
After Dante finds out about the credits, he notes that the strong eat weak mentality of the academy, mixed with the credit system will make the competition between students extreme, therefore increasing the overall risk substantially when fighting. (his reaction is: I can’t just jump into the arena headfirst)
Chapter 15: Enrolling with sir andres, going inside of his apartment, sleeping on the bed for the first time
Name of swordsmanship training is now world essence manipulation training, which focuses on swordsmanship - unless they practice a different kind of weapon.
Chapter 16: Mia POV meeting Dante
No big changes here.
Chapter 17: Getting shoulder healed, getting measured by seamstress, mia walking in bathroom, mia pov after
Seamstress tells Dante he needs to cover his gloves ‘decoration’ as per the academy rules and that she will help him do that.
Took out mention of the nobles being ‘minor’ nobles in Mia’s POV… because Jack isn’t. Mentions that – for the first time in years, Mia wanted to go against her orders so that she could kill them
Chapter 18: Wearing combat uniform, meeting Archie, blowing up sword
Changed description of combat uniform to match the cover art for the book… lol. Only really notable change was an added belt around his combatants glove to cover over the dragon symbol.
Swords can no longer be thrown with world essence. As soon as they are let go, they would just explode. (Dante will still be able to weaponize them by blinking them into enemies)
Chapter 19: Archie’s first lesson, Dante/Will getting the shit beat out of them
Small change; when Archie hands them the manipulation orb, he says that the orb has a few other uses, but they are only for pretentious upstarts, and have no place in a real combatants training regiment.
Chapter 20: Aiden v Bennett arena fight
Nothing really changed here.
Chapter 21: Greggory/Dante being forced into a fight by Layla
Hinted that Layla was having issues with the Headmaster.
Fixed the attendants excuse of going to check inside of the arena to be more plausible. (Since its your first arena fight, I’ll need to register you before you can enter) Attendant still messes up when he comes back, indicates that the entire thing is set up.
Chapter 22: Killing the Greggory
Nothing really notable changed here… some cleanup work here and there, but nothing really worth mentioning… well, I made his question at the end with Mia slightly less strange (her response to the question I mean) might have a little impact.
Chapter 23: More world essence manip training with archie, ends in explosion… again
Nothing really changed here… hopefully this becomes a pattern (writing these edit notes as I go along lol)
Chapter 24: Going to the enchantment room, seeing Kayla with jack and the other two from the seamstress shop
No real changes here.
Chapter 25: Skill testing in fight simulation room
Took out a random thought of “I should go look at metal to see wtf my swords are made from”… since that never happened lol (soon though…)
Chapter 26: Edward learning that Dante is at the academy from Varik, Upset Mia because Kayla
Nothing really changed
Chapter 27: Dante and Will practicing in the yard, Will giving Dante advice
Nothing really changed.
Chapter 28: Kayla and Dante walking to the party
Very slightly cleaned up the conversation where I thought it was bad
Added a – too nervous to be attracted to Kayla’s charms – thought
Chapter 29: ‘Party’
Made Jack and Bridget killing the noble seem slightly more consequential by rewording it… (slightly)
Chapter 30: gold arena fight, getting hit by fireball
Added a section that changes Dante’s looks… hard to summarize it and get an accurate picture, so here.
“He had to be refitted by the seamstress several times so that his uniform would fit properly. Mia seemed to make it her goal to change his physique. He wasn’t sure what exactly she was feeding him, but the rare plants, foods, and pills had a dramatic effect. His figure was now more in line with some of the other nobles who had eaten well and trained vigorously for years.” (… had a good reason for this…)
Took Dante 20 seconds to form world essence sword -> 5 seconds (long time in a fight)
Chapter 31: Walking to the place where they pick classes for new semester, talk about taming
No real changes.
Chapter 32: Choosing classes for second semester
No real changes.
Chapter 32.5: New character building subchapter I added to 32
Go read this, its at the bottom of 32.
Chapter 33: Going to all of his new classes, getting manip tab in status
Only real change that has any impact was a small offhanded remark by Kayla
(Kayla shrugged. “The academy is a place to gain strength, naturally that comes with a few inherent risks. Commoners generally aren’t treated well.” She winked at him. “Not everyone is as nice as I am.”)
Chapter 34: Edward learns about Mia from Varik, Dante fights platinum tournament with Haden and Jaseni
A bit of foreshadowing should go a long way here. When Mia explains mana contracts to Dante, she guesses that either Haden or Jaseni have a contract buyer that is “unfavorable”, and therefore fighting in the arena to get a better buyer in better circumstances.
Chapter 35: Fighting bridget, Jaseni and haden dying
Decided not to change anything here, and just cleaned up some of it. The foreshadowing from 34 should help with any rushed/suddenness feeling it had before.
Chapter 36: Killing Bridget, Layla sending people to collar dante
After the fight Dante had an empty feeling, like the entire fight had been meaningless, I added a bit where he thinks. “It was strange though, his desire to fight wasn’t stopped, if anything it was still growing.” Alluding to… ya know.
Chapter 37: Mia and Dante chase, Mia died, Dante collared
I actually reread this and decided I didn’t want to change much lol (sorry). There were a few different sentences I tweaked, mostly just for larger impact, or to get across a point. (like slightly more emphasis on the suddenness of it)
Chapter 38: Dante in prison, visited by Layla/kayla, Edward with Varik sending out orders
Two changes to Edwards POV.
Sir Andres was able to make the fighting come to a standstill with his defensive skills in particular, and the Ramotar’s didn’t have anyone who could kill him.
Edward found out that Dante was collared because he was standing by the information relay when the report came in.
Chapter 39: Emotional breakdown from collar, assigning world essence from fight, sam pov
No significant changes here
Chapter 40: Dante escaping, Alexander trying to free him
Tweaked alexanders POV very slightly to fall in line with the way things went during the carriage ride.
Chapter 41: Escaping academy, walking with small girl (eliza), small girl sends Tabitha
Made Eliza seem more erratic/bipolar from emotional trauma. Before, she didn’t like her dad so she ran away, but I made it so her mother sent her to get water from a well, and when she got back her house was crushed, after that she couldn’t find her parents (who were in the house when she went to go get water)
Here are Dante’s thoughts on it. “He looked at Eliza for a moment, wondering if she understood the possible implications behind her house being crushed. It was even possible that she knew that something had happened to her parents and was just blocking it out. It would make sense, her personality seemed to erratic and bipolar for someone so young.”
Chapter 41: Layla sending out trackers
Added this when Layla said to abandon the academy to send out more combatants to search for Dante. “Layla nodded. Abandoning the academy wasn’t much of a setback. The academy had stopped being a pillar House Calman’s fighting force long ago, it was why they were so lax about deaths in the arena.”
Took out the phrase ‘trigger happy’ for you purist
Chapter 42: Getting tracked by tabitha’s group/archies group
Nothing really changed
Chapter 43: Archie/Tabitha killing their groups, Archie giving him gifts
Nothing really changed
Chapter 44: Killing pursuers, testing dye on tracker he captured
Nothing really changed
Chapter 45: Grimspeak, having a map made
No real change here.
Chapter 46: Getting map, going to sleep, andrea sending out combatants and bounty
I assigned the world essence he had here (about 3.4k) it leveled his rev and blader classifications from 6-8 and 7-9 respectively.
Chapter 47: Buying food, getting discovered for 1k gold bounty
Added a bit of talk about what happened at the academy by those around him. Like some muttering in the crowd. Dante has a moment of, ‘news must have just arrived that morning’
Chapter 48: Escaping grimspeak, running into the guards and escaping on a horse
Nothing really changed here.
Chapter 49: Horse chase, getting stuck in grass with Jared and Arron
Redid some of the fighting so that Dante never threw a mana filled sword, blinking them instead. Made the fight seem slightly easier, but that’s the cost of less variation
Chapter 50: Predatory dungeon, essence crystals, Jared/Arron fight
Added dialogue from Jared mentioning that the dungeon was older than they thought, and therefore far more dangerous
When Arron talks about Jared’s monster crystal skill, I emphasized that it was an active skill
Chapter 51: Killing Arron/Jared, specializing Blader
When he couldn’t crush Arron’s monster crystals, but could crush Jared’s he had a wondering thought on why ownership wouldn’t transfer to Jared, and then him after he killed Jared
Redid the numbers on world essence because I assigned world essence in ch 46
Chapter 52: Status management, new skills testing and stuff
Nothing really changed that is worth mentioning
Chapter 53: Predatory dungeon boss fight
Nothing really changed
Chapter 54: Killing dungeon boss
Nothing really changed.
Chapter 55: Getting monster crystals
I changed the oppressive will skill he got from the monster crystal. Its still the same skill, but I made it a passive skill that is toggleable by channeling mana through it. (Reasoning: constant mana drain. Active monster crystal skills will now be defined as skills with a mana cost instead of a mana per second drain.)
Chapter 56: Vicar Edward and Andrea POVS on fight stuff
Added a tidbit that mentions that Edward and Arthur (Archie) knew each other in the past, but hadn’t seen each other in years
Chapter 57: Going over the border wall, Victoria POV
Nothing really changed