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A note from Idlefiber

Dante's Immortality was fully edited on 12/31/2017 - if you started to read it before the edit, i would recommend that you check the edit notes for the chapters you've read.  Be VERY careful not to read too far down, or you will be spoiled to death.  Edit Notes

Dante’s Immortality – Chapter 38

The first thing he was aware of upon coming into consciousness was a hand slapping his face.

“Wake up.”

Dante opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was Layla’s blue eyes staring back at him.

He recoiled from her touch. It was hard to believe that he found someone who was so beautiful to be so repulsive.

He inspected himself. They hadn’t even chained him up.

Of course they did.

He laughed grimly and inspected the black wraith collar that covered his skin.

Thankfully, he had been completely healed, and his clothing hadn’t been touched. Even his combatant’s glove was still on, which was both a relief and confusing.

He looked around, taking stock of the room he was in. It wasn’t a prison cell like he thought it would be, but more of a storage cellar; dark, damp, and made from solid stone walls.

Layla saw him looking around the room and frowned. “Yes, quite unfortunate, but things didn’t go as planned…” She cleared her throat smiled. “Anyways, I just came to check in on you. How are you doing?”

How am I doing?

He was having a hard time processing her words, and it wasn’t just his momentary anger. It felt like his thinking was slower. And every emotion drained away as soon as it came, he was still sad about Mia’s death and angry, but something was holding those things back.

Regardless, he saw no benefit in angering Layla and going through that tortuous pain again. “As well as could be expected.” He did his best to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but some of it seeped through.

Layla’s grin seemed to be far more genuine now. “Excellent! If you continue on with this attitude, I’m sure you will assimilate rather quickly.”

She paused to check his reaction, and he tried his best to remain expressionless. “That actually brings me to the reason for this little meeting.” Layla gestured to the room around them as if making a joke. “We have run into some complications. Usually, when someone is collared they are immediately sent off for training in one of our camps, but your trip will be delayed… hopefully for only a few days.”

“I came to give you a little bit of motivation before you leave.” Layla flicked back her golden hair. “The training will be… challenging, but if you do well, your life won’t be all that bad. In fact, it will be far better than it was before you received your Classifications.”

She paused for his reaction, and if she was looking for surprise, he wasn’t going to give it to her. How could her knowledge of his life Alazel surprise him after the fight with Greggory?

“As I was saying, all you need to do is prove that you are loyal, or obedient, and you will be awarded certain freedoms.” Layla tapped on his collar. “I’m sure you would like for me to turn off the restraint.  Although I can’t say that I’ve tried it, I’m sure having your connection to the Goddess cut off is frustrating.”

No wonder his thinking had seemed foggier, his Wisdom and Intelligence must have been lowered to what they were before he got his Status. On a whim, he tried to manipulate the world essence in the room around him. Nothing happened.

Layla saw the realization dawn on him. “Our most trusted… servants get the best assignments, and can even go entire assignments with their collar’s restraint deactivated.”

Was that what Mia was, just a ‘trusted’ slave?

His anger flared, then disappeared. Up until the moment he saw Sir Andres standing over her with a wraith leash, he had thought that she was just an agent of House Calman. Any other possibility didn’t make sense, she was so… normal. And powerful.

Layla patted him on the head like one would do with a pet. Then she slid down his combatant’s glove so his Classification symbols could be seen. “I’m sure you won’t let me down.”

After saying those words, Layla walked over to the stone wall and fed world essence into it. A hidden enchantment lit up, and a portion of the stone wall opened to reveal a dark tunnel.

Without being able to manipulate world essence, he wouldn’t be able to leave

I’m not sure how, but I’m going to kill her.

 


 

Edward Ailloss

“What do they mean they can’t find him?” Edward paced by the relay enchantment, reading each report from the academy as it came through.

Varik stood next to the relay, trying to appease him as he sent and received messages. “My lord, he slipped away before Sam could reach him after his fight in the arena, and now the academy is in complete chaos. And after he was… captured, the Ramotars made their move.”

Edward slammed his fist into the wall, sending cracks through the marble. “The bastards actually collared him.” He breathed heavily for a moment. “What about a wraith key, have you acquired one?”

“No, my lord. I can’t find a key close enough to the academy for it to be useful, if we sent one it would take at least a week, even by raptor.”

Edward let out a curse, then increased his pacing. “What about Damian? I’m sure that he had a key prepared for his niece, he won’t be needing it anymore.”

Varik cleared his throat. “Are you sure you want me to ask Damian for the key that he was going to use on his recently passed away family member? You know how emotional he is.”

Edward scratched the back of his head, slightly embarrassed. “Probably not a great idea… Spread your agents around the academy’s perimeter, no one leaves unless we know about it.” He paused in thought. “How is the fight progressing?”

“It’s reached a stalemate. House Ramotar started off with a huge advantage. They had agents embedded as Instructors, so as soon as Mia Went was killed, they turned on the Calmans and wreaked havoc through their ranks. Things progressed well after, at least until Sir Andres from House Calman joined the fight. He was able to bring the fighting to a complete halt. House Ramotar didn’t think to send a twice specialized combatant that could counter his defensive skills.” Varik scratched his chin in thought. “If we have Sam kill Sir Andres, Damian may be willing to give us their key.”

Edward paced for a moment. “No… the Calmans are too deeply entrenched in the Outer Edge region, it would be best if we remained hidden, at least until we locate Dante. Until that happens, keep searching. The Calmans must have a few keys at the academy.”

It was fortunate that he had been near the information relay when the news came in, it allowed him to act immediately.  No matter what, he would get Dante out.

 


 

The enchanted door activated, causing Dante to perk up. He had already been stuck in the room for four days, and aside from his visit from Layla, the door was only opened four times. Once a day to empty his chamber pot and give him food.

But this was the second time that day.

Dante held his breath, it was likely time for him to start his ‘training’.

The door swung open, revealing… no one. The only thing he could see was the dark tunnel behind it.

There was an echoing laugh. “You’ve certainly seen better days.”

He knew that voice. “Kayla?”

That’s when he saw it, a shadow sliding across the room. Only stopping when it was right in front of him. Then, without any warning, Kayla appeared in its place.

It was hard to believe, but it was her. Same brown hair and eyes, slim figure, and she had that mischievous smile on her face.

Since when has she been able to do that?

Kayla leaned down with her hands behind her back until their eyes were only a few inches apart, then inspected him. “As if you weren’t pale enough before they locked you in this room for four days.”

He looked back at her emotionlessly. “Are you here to take me to my ‘training’?”

Kayla snorted. “I’m not quite sure what you mean, but no. I’m here to help you.”

Dante let out a large breath. He didn’t trust Kayla, at all. He wasn’t sure if he would trust a noble ever again, but if she was telling him the truth it meant that it wasn’t time for his ‘training’.

Kayla saw his relief and apparently misread the reason for it. “What are friends for? Of course I’ll help you, I’ll just need a bit of help in return.”

His eyebrow quirked up. “Oh?”

Kayla held up one hand in mock surrender, while the other was still behind her back. “Don’t misunderstand. It’s something that we both want, but only you can do.” She pulled her other hand from behind her back. “This is a wraith key, it’s exceedingly rare and expensive. Created by artificers as a one-time use item to remove wraith collars.”

The orb was bright blue, similar to the color world essence, but was etched with layers of runes.

His eyes lit up, now taking Kayla far more seriously.

Seeing her desired reaction, Kayla’s smile broadened. “Since we are such great friends, I would give it to you for free if it were anything else. But to get this wraith key I had to steal it from Jack Daynard, then I had to sneak in here.” She gestured to the room around them. “Which was far more challenging than you think.”

“What do you want?” He wasn’t in much of a position to bargain, but wanted to be free of the wraith collar by any means possible.

Kayla’s smile hardened. “What I want is for every member of House Calman to be tortured slowly in front of me.” She took a deep breath to calm herself. “But I’ll settle for their deaths instead.”

Dante snorted. “I’m not sure if I can help you with that, I couldn’t even touch one of their knights.” He pointed to his wraith collar.

Kayla rolled her eyes. “Obviously, I didn’t mean now. I’m taking a bet on your potential.” She pointed at his combatant’s glove.

His eyes narrowed, that answered one question.

She saw his glare and held her hands out in surrender. “I’m sorry I drugged you.”

Dante’s eye twitched, he had been mentally beating himself for getting drunk at the party, but Kayla had drugged him… and now he was supposed to make a deal with her?

Kayla cleared her throat. “I won’t ask you to sign a mana contract, I just want a promise. Promise me that you will wipe out House Calman when you have the strength, and I’ll set you free.” She held the key up.

Dante hesitated, trying to think of how he was being tricked. It was possible that this was an elaborate setup by the Calmans to test him, but what else could they do to him after they enslaved him? Maybe hurt him with the collar, but there would be plenty of that in his future.

Kayla’s expression hardened. “They deserve to die. Think about what they did to Mia, they did the same thing to my family.”

Hearing Mia’s name sent a spike of raw emotions through him, but as soon as he felt them, the feelings quickly diffused until they were gone.

She was right though, the Calmans deserved to die. “If you set me free, I’ll kill the Calmans... when I’m stronger.”

Kayla’s smile came back. “That’s great! I’ll leave this key with you then.” She tossed the orb to him, and he inspected it. He was ready to use it, but she cut him off. “Don’t use it yet. Your emotions are going to be a bit… strong after being bottled up for a few days.”

Kayla walked to the door. “I’ll leave you to yourself. Two specialized Warriors are watching the other end of the tunnel, so be careful.” Without another word, Kayla disappeared from his sight, replaced by a shadow that walked through the door and closed it by activating the enchantment.

I should have asked her how to use this key.

Dante stared at the orb, then after contemplating it, he pressed it against his wraith collar.

 


 

 Kayla Stavins

Kayla lazily walked through the tunnel, bypassing the two guards with her Stealth skill.

That went better than I thought it would.

Her months of effort had finally paid off, and all it had taken was two hidden shots with a bow. It was hard not to take the chance while Mia’s restraint was activated. She was easy pickings for an arrow led by mana manipulation.

She did feel bad about killing Mia, but it was worth it.

Just the thought of Dante tearing apart the Calmans because of her brought a smile to her face.

She may not have the power to crush House Calman herself, but they would still fall by her hand.

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Idlefiber

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egnallime ago

I feel that this isn't worth reading when you gut the readers(my) feeling every other chaper. A song of ice and fire have many plot twists where I just wanted to stop reading but it was a nice build up for it. Here it is just high octane ride for the next blind corner and you go thru the guard rail every time. It's so annoying at the moment that I will stop reading it for a few chapters and come back later for an update. Just because you can end the chapter with an cliff hanger or a plot twist doesn't mean you should do every time.

Deadman ago

Bunch of world essence from all those guards makes for a few more levels and two dead specialized Warriors time to kill his way on out.(or get rescued up by the infiltrators...)

Osborn ago

And what a way to kill a story... Lol

I can already see that after this chapter, this story is going to lose many readers, and there is a good chance that I'm included in that group.

I'm sure the author had some plan in mind when he decided to pull this shit, but what I don't think he took into consideration is that this shows his style, and what happened once will happen twice.

This is such a let down... Honestly, I would advice the author to redo the last 2 chapters, otherwise I see no way to salvage this fiasco.

    Author

    Idlefiber ago

    i felt that killing Mia was necessary, she wasnt someone who could be dragged around for the entirety of the story, and killing her would be a big help in launching some long term goal for Dante as well as a little character progression

    That said im not planning on doing this to every friend he makes, but this was something that has been in the works to launch the story forward

      CCaprice ago

      Fair enough, I think you played it well. I think you played the Kayla angle excellently and it does explain somethings.

      Osborn ago

      I would rather have Mia alive, but that's not the point. Worse than that is having the mc enslaved and played like a fool... once again. That's why this creates a patern in the story. Now I can say that this story falls oficially under the "tragedy" genre, and that's why I say this story is going to fall quite a lot, cause I, like most people, don't like that genre. We read to have some fun, not the opposite.

      Author

      Idlefiber ago

      slavery isnt going to last long, but if you mean at all, yea thats a thing... sorry xD

      i didnt have room for the tragedy tag, (4 max) but i took off action and added it.

      i think it comes down to - how much plot armor do i want to give the mc in the brutal world i created? everything will be a series of learning from his mistakes and gaining power, so there will be less mistakes/tragedys in the future.

      eersc ago

      just a bit though, i think people are mainly irritated with how naive the MC is more than anything else. He knows the likelyhood of shit going bad when he reveals his cards but he has made no preparation towards it, whether it be an escape route or a bag with supplies or a route to lose himself in the city. He just gets pushed around, now I know you made it that the city is free from poverty or whatever but for such a brutal world the MC being naive is a major discordant tone. IT's liek you're saying he will elarn but he never does.

      Don't take what people say here with too much weight. People can get tempremental and the reaction they show is mainly because they care about the characters and the story so I think you are doing somehting right.

    CCaprice ago

    It is a hard blow I'll grant you that, but having read authors like Matthew Reilly I can except important characters dying.

    It's better if the readers know from the start that this is a novel where anyone can die so they don't react too drastically.

    I can live with the loss of 2 good characters but like you, I would rather not have to.

    I think the most surprising thing is that it got to this stage considering both of the other main houses should have had people at least as close as Kayla to act and help those two.

    The hardest thing to believe isn't what happened with Mia and Kayla but that the other two houses didn't have people close enough to help and that they lost track of Dante.

    zeel steel ago

    What? Bad things happening to a character and forging them into better, stronger people is a staple in good books. Books need to be like rollercoaster, or else what's the point? Life isn't a straight line, life isn't easy, so why would that be different for the lives of main characters? Besides, one character thats important to an MC dying isn't an indication that everyone close to them will die. I've read very few books like that. I believe the last two chapters are integral for the furtherment of this story. They just need to be polished (done better).

CCaprice ago

Thanks for the chapter.

I really thought he would learn to blink the collar off.

Mezhanos ago

Well Ive never been this horrified , impressed and loathed a character this much since Jofrrey so kudos to u Idlefiber. I wont say I like that Mia is dead but damn if this story isnt one of the most engaging stories in this site. Thank you and keep up the hard work

zeel steel ago

I'm genuinely surprised. This chapter was nicely set up. It could have been done better, but you can say that about most things. I thought kyla coming out of nowhere with a key was a deus ex machina type of situation, but it was all planned. Nice.

Rellian ago

Kinda hate it when the author kills off a developed, interesting and one of the best characters in the book, purely to give the MC some incentive for revenge. Didnt realize this was going to be a story where the author just wails on the MC and the readers. Probably going to drop this if this continues. Its just infuriating to read this shit and I dont read to be mad.

    Author

    Idlefiber ago

    it wont be this bad in the future xD im sorry

    Mahesvera ago

    It is just added reason for revenge - I would exterminate that pieces of shits Calmans just for trying to enslave me, not to mention killing my only friend. At least from my POV would be like that

      Premium

      Feuer der Veraenderung ago

      I on the other hand love it if an author decides to kill good characters off. The point is that the mc needs to have time to recuperate before the next tragedy hits, if a character is hit with one tragedy after another he will break and the reader will get sad/"depressiv" or bored, but a tragedy once in a while keeps the reader awake and invested, while allowing the character to grow.

      Even if some reader may decide to stop reading other reader will come and replace then.

      What I want to say is keep the good work up idlefiber

simian56 ago

Please let him leave captivity immediately

Bartimaeus ago

Well, I saw some of it coming and Dante being drugged was always a possibility, I first thoght of it when Mia made him his meals and then the party was fairly obvious one for me.

However to have dante act so out of his personality

Okay first of all its your storry however I feel the need to point out.

  1. Up untill now you pictured Dante as a fairly smart man, that could even in dicey situations make "rational" and fairly sensible choices from the information he was given.
    • Why then does he act so 'stupid' in chapter 37 and 38, he was clearly told by Mia to escape; and for reasoning, he knew she was working for house calman (willingly or not) every smart human could decduce that the calmans would only in the most adverse situation kill their own asset. (Mia in that case) Moreover since they already have full autority over her, they dont even need to get into a fight with her they can just leash her witht the 'orb' /wraithcollar.
    • And even then, when they capture her again (and that was certain they do) it is higly unlikly that they will kill her immeadiatly afterwards, probably she will get punished, yet I seriously doubt, that they would kill her after all, even if she helped dante to escape.
  2. Then that he went back to save Mia who wasnt in any lifethreatening danger all along, without any sensible reasoning, but being selfish? Thats not how you had Dante act all the time. Furthermore, if he didn't went to rescue her, Kayla wouldnt have had a chance to kill Mia, that means the "fault" of her dying lies more by Dante and not by Kayla alone.
    • I do understand that you wanted to move the plot along and that you intended to have him experience a lifechangeing moment, after all there were better tools at hand that you didnt use, no idea why you made the decisions you made as the author, yet it is what made this change quite forced in my opinion.
    • Alone in these two chapters, there was so much potential that you just wasted away as you killed Mia, since all that you build up has only left him with; revenge on calman, mistrust agsint nobles (other humans in general), and even more grief and misery when he ever finds out he was betrayed by Kayla even Layla/ or her brother can tell him, it doesnt even matter if she/they know('s) the truth, just planting the seed of doubt will be enough. (Though I think it is easy for them to find out)

So what are your thoguhts? Some I can understand, others I can't. I would love to get a reply soon, since I can't hide it, but I am disappointed in how this played out.

Sincerely an addicted reader.

    Bartimaeus ago

    As I promised I would edit it later, I did. Late, but better late than never.

    Bartimaeus ago

    ++++++
    [Edit; Edit:]
    ++++++

    I suggest you change your tags from
    Original, Fantasy, LitRpg, Romance

    to

    Original, Fantasy, LitRpg, Tragedy

    or

    Original, Fantasy, Tragedy, Romance

    Since I don't know how big the romance part is, I can not say for sure, but how the story is now, I can't imagine him entering a romantic relationship ever again.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++
    [4th Edit:]
    ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±

    If you are interested in what I would change, how, where, and why you can send me a pm.

     

    Author

    Idlefiber ago

    1.) i went with fueled emotions. he turned back because he heard his first real friend screaming out in pain, not just get captured.

    2.) the idea wasnt to just to save her life, which might not of been in danger, but save her from slavery

darkpoint ago

Thanks for the chapter.

No, I didn't expect that. But that's why I like the last two chapters, it is often too easy to predict how a story will continue. Mia's death was especially surprising, I was sure she would be able to escape too and maybe after some time reunite with him again.

Though, be careful with killing characters, not all readers are as understanding and just want to have their pink, fluffy, HEA story.


I see one problem with Kayla though. If her stealth skill is so high, shouldn't she be able to sneak in and kill the Calman's herself? At least Layla and her brother should be easy targets. Maybe you could say that she has signed a mana contract, which makes her unable to actively harm the Calman's? Helping Dante to escape doesn't count as harming House Calman.

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