I can’t believe… that happened, Nelson thought as he closed the door of his bedroom. After he parted ways with Cris, he had walked all the way from the indoor pool to the boys’ dormitory. He did his best to try to keep his head empty, but it was impossible; no matter how much he wanted, he couldn’t stop his mind from relieving the moment.
Just the memory of Cris looking at him with that sly gaze and then bending his knees before putting the manhood in his mouth was enough to make the swimmer’s cheeks blush and his member rise. Stop thinking about it! Just because it felt too good…
Damn it! How can a guy pleasure another so well? Cris wasn’t lying when he said I’d never forget his mouth… Aaahh! Stop thinking about the ora… about it! Nelson shook his head and messed his hair at the same time.
How the hell can I face him now? How can I look him in the eyes when every time I think of him, I can only see him with his knees bend and his mouth around my dick… ah, stop remembering, damn it! I’ll get a boner again!
With more force than necessary, the swimmer took off his clothes, threw in the dirty laundry basket and went to the bathroom to take a shower. But even the cold water wasn’t enough to make his mind stop picturing his manager.
Damn… I can’t stop remembering… But what truly bothered Nelson wasn’t that he couldn’t forget; it was the fact that he wanted Cris’ mouth again. The idea made him show a tiny smile. Like he said, I can’t forget him and his skill…
Rubbing his face, Nelson shook his head and exhaled until there was no air left in his lungs. He held his breathing until his body demanded more oxygen. Then he breathed deep. He repeated that until his mind was clearer.
Even though I want him to suck me again, I’m not gay… But I have to admit, Cris is cute and cool… I mean, for a guy. But tonight, he was… I hate to admit, but he was sexy… Is it okay for a guy to say that another guy was sexy?
When I watched him dry himself in that tight swimsuit, I lost control of myself… Doesn’t that mean that I’m attracted to him?
He does make my heart race a bit a few times, but that’s not fair. I mean, how can a guy be cute like a girl and then have a cool side at the same time? Isn’t that cheating?
And that’s not the only thing… Cris has been by my side whenever I needed someone the most. He’s a good manager and a friend… but is he more than just that? Do I want anything else from him? Do I just want another… that… or I want to… kiss him…?
Nelson stopped to consider. After a long pause, he still had no answer. I’m still attracted to girls… and I can’t imagine letting any guy beside Cris do… that to me… But even so, when I think about Cris… now I can’t stop thinking about him bending his knees and… Stop remembering that!
The swimmer lied on his bed naked. How I feel about him or if I wanna do something else with him doesn’t matter right now. I can’t lose my concentration because of that… even though it felt too good… stop it, Nelson! You just recovered from a major injury. You need to focus on recovering and start practicing again.
He tossed around, but no matter how much he wanted, he couldn’t fall asleep. His mind was too full for that. Giving up, Nelson put on his workout clothes, stretched and went for a light jogging in the night.
Despite doing his best to clear his head, his manager and his smile kept entering the swimmer’s mind. I have no idea how to face him now…
After a few laps, he gave up and headed back to his room. After he took another shower and changed clothes, his phone rang. Opening his eyes, Nelson turned towards the sound. Is it Cris? He picked up the device right away. But when he saw who was calling, he dropped his shoulders. “Hey, Marcelo,” he said in a tired voice.
“Is that how you greet your best friend?” The voice on the other side was full of energy, the complete opposite of Nelson.
“Sorry. It’s just that… it’s been a long day…”
“Yeah, I know. Congratulation.”
Nelson widened his eyes and sat up. “Congratulations for what?” His voice sounded more nervous that he would have liked. Does he know about me and Cris…? There’s no way.
“For what…? Your complete recovery, you idiot. We wanted to throw you another party, but the club found out…”
Oh yeah. So much happened that I forgot there was that… The thought made him smile. He’s an idiot, but a great friend. I wonder what he’d say if I told him about Cris… but even I don’t know how to start explaining what’s happening between us…
“Hey, man… I saw the interview…” Marcelo’s voice lost all the enthusiasm. There was that too, Nelson thought with a bitter smile. “I can’t say that I know what you went through, but I can tell you that it’s in the past. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you, but right now, you can stop looking backward. You should look forward, to your dream. To our dream of competing together in the next Olympics. We both failed this year, but there’s always next.”
Nelson felt grateful for his stupid and yet great friend. Before he noticed, he was smiling. “Thanks, man. I needed to hear that.”
“No problem.” His voice was back to its usual enthusiasm. “I just hope you don’t get depressed when I beat you in the Rio.”
Nelson let out a snort. “I thought the higher-ups didn’t let the party, and yet you’re drunk and spouting nonsense.”
“At least I see your sense of humor hasn’t been affected. It still sucks,” Marcelo reply before they said goodbye.
With a smile, Nelson lied down on the bed again. After everything, there’re a lot of people supporting me… I shouldn’t… I won’t let them down. For them and for me. Even Cris… he’s been helping me out…
Even if he had no idea what kind of face he would show when he saw him the next morning, no matter if he had strange feeling for him, there was one thing Nelson knew; the last thing he wanted was to avoid Cris.
No matter what happened, he’s my manager and friend… Even if it’s awkward, I wanna see him again. I wanna talk to him again. No matter if… that… happened.
But wait… tomorrow’s Sunday… there’s no practice, appointment or anything… doesn’t it mean that we won’t see each other?
Nelson covered his face with both hands. I wanna see him tomorrow, he admitted to himself, his heart thumping louder.