The World beyond the Veil

The World beyond the Veil

by Ayeba

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

After witnessing a brutal massacre, Martin's life would inevitably change. He just hadn't expected exactly how much it would change. How much he would change. How different the world really was, beyond the Veil. 

Slightly more in-depth spoiler-ish intro: 

Regarding genre

I find it hard to decide exactly which genres to apply to the story. The ones I have put on the story (Contemporary, Adventure, Fantasy) are the ones I'm certain about. In addition, it arguably contains elements of Drama and Psychological, at least according to their descriptions: 

Drama: Dramatic stories focus on emotional themes and interpersonal relationships. These stories feature realistic characters and their emotional development.

Psychological: Psychological stories focus on the inner action of the characters, including motives, thoughts and emotions from which plot events result. Characterization is particularly important to the story. (...)

On the topic of Gender Bending

There is a gender flip fairly early in the story (Male to female, chapter 7). This is an important aspect of the story that I want to explore with respect. If the very idea of gender-bending bothers you, please feel free to ignore this story. 

As a result, the story has a Male Lead up to chapter 7, and a Female Lead afterward. 

Release schedule

I post a chapter every Thursday at 20.00 (8 PM) CET. I may occasionally release two chapters at the same time if they're particularly short.

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Author
Ayeba

Ayeba

The vaccine is the best invention ever

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: Orchestra Seat for Mass Murder ago
Chapter 2: Run through the forest, Run ago
Chapter 3: In an ominous office somewhere ago
Chapter 4: Delaying the inevitable is not always a bad idea ago
Chapter 5: When in doubt, climb horse ago
Chapter 6: Sanity and Horsemanship not required ago
Chapter 7: Tampering with Fate for fun and survival ago
Chapter 8: Cart ride quiz ago
Chapter 9: Navigating the ocean of of stormy feelings ago
Chapter 10: The art of exposition overload ago
Chapter 11: Arbitrary female experiences ago
Chapter 12: Proper reasons to be paranoid ago
Chapter 13: Rain, fishing bobbers and bitterness ago
Chapter 14: Meanwhile, in an ominous van somewhere ago
Chapter 15: Varying degrees of girl talk ago
Chapter 16: Not your average tea party conversation ago
Chapter 17: Another day, another destination ago
Chapter 18: Case study of hormones vs common sense ago
Chapter 19: Terrible ideas and first impressions ago
Chapter 20: Meanwhile, in an ominous building somewhere ago
Chapter 21: Security and feigned insecurity ago
Chapter 22: Questionable treatment and punishment ago
Chapter 23: Fulfilled and undesired wishes ago
Chapter 24: The good, and the bad and horny ago
Discussion on chapter 24 and the story in general ago
Chapter 25: During an ominous PowerPoint presentation, somewhere ago
Chapter 26: Consequential Deals ago
Chapter 27: Lots of pain, little gain ago
Chapter 28: Indoctrinated gun control ago
Chapter 29: To bully or be bullied ago
Apologies and the fate of the story ago

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Reviews
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slatsau
Overall

As a 30's Male this is the first genderbending story I have read that takes the genderbending part very seriously. Martin did not harbour any desire to become a woman, let alone a teenaged girl. Now he has to deal with periods, crazy teenage hormones, different emotions as well as being in a semi-dangerous and somewhat exciting situation.

The latest Arc looks like a bit of a magic school element which I'm really excited about. Thoroughly enjoying this book, the writing, grammer and word choices are excellent. The characters are well done, I feel like Martin is an older man. I feel like Caroline/Britney are older women. The 'bad guys' are a bit 2D villainy but hardly a complaint, and we will probably get more depth to them as the plot progresses.

 

Thankyou for your creative efforts, please keep writing your great sotry!

Susurrus
Overall

Stumbled across this story yesterday and thought I'd give it a go. 

Am not normally into gender bending stories but this is done superbly. The detail actually helps you feel for the poor guy. 

Keep up the great work. And Moooooore please 

Polluaaaa
Overall

Interesting so far so keep up the good work

luda305
Overall

Technical Excellence Marred by Consistency/Hiatus

Reviewed at: Apologies and the fate of the story

The technical skill on a small and medium scale is very, very high.  The first chapter is probably one of the strongest I've read on Royal Road full stop, and would make a very good beginning for a published work.  The characters are deep and interesting, with the protagonist evolving in very interesting ways.  

Besides the story going on permanent hiatus, there are two main concerns that warrant demerits.   

First, especially in the early chapters when the protagonist is being pursued, there are several instances where various characters seem to know information that they shouldn't know or plausibly would not know.  The most obvious of these is Martin's absolute conviction that he was both somehow observed leaving the premises and that he would be hunted to the death.  Now that is what's happening, but there's no reason for him to know that. 

Second, the worldbuilding has consistency issues.  While the author has done an interesting job of subverting or avoiding various fantasy tropes, the choices that the author has made don't appear to have fully meshed together.  As a result, some action or decision is made by a character based on some part of the worldbuilding, but it seems to me rather obviously that there were alternative, potentially superior actions or decisions to make.  Missing those alternatives seemed less like a characterization issue and more of certain worldbuilding choices not being thought out fully. 

That said, neither of the two stated flaws would be enough to not recommend the story.  That the story went on hiatus so early (the plot hasn't progressed so far) means that the story really is quite a stub.  Actually, given the lenghty pre-school arc in the first Harry Potter book, a good analogy would be if you had to stop reading the first Harry Potter book after the first day of class.  Caveat lector.