Supervillain

by ginobi47

Original ONGOING Action Comedy Fantasy Sci-fi Anti-Hero Lead Cyberpunk Harem Magic Male Lead School Life Secret Identity Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

The world is broken and rotten.

It's supposed defenders are too weak willed to do what is necessary.

It's leaders are too corrupt to care for those beneath them

If they wont fix this world, then I will!

I will make the world a better place ..... by any means necessary!


Nice to meet you all. My name is Ginobi47. A lurker of fanfiction.net and now a writer of original fic.This is my first original work and I do hope you enjoy it!

Do remember that this is a fiction in the Superhero genre. Please expect the craziness that goes along with it.

 

NOTE: English is not my maiden language.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: As I went through the other fictions of Royal Road, I noticed that my style of writing style (slow release, 1 big post) doesnt work well in this site. As such, I'll be experimenting on releasing smaller chapters more often, as this seems to be how the authors of Royal Road does things.

Mind you, my release speed will still be very slow compared to others, but I'll churn out chapters more often than what I used to do.

DISCORD SERVER: 

https://discord.gg/M7bmjTH

ANOTHER NOTE: Some of my readers convinced me to set up a discord server. While I have absolutely no idea what to do in a discord server, but if you're interested, just join in and go nuts.

Suggest some storylines or characters, seek advice in just about anything or tell me your deepest darkest secret (you can PROBABLY trust me ^.^).

Feel free to do whatever is fun

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 - The Red Pill ago
Chapter 2 - Part Time Job 1 ago
Chapter 3 - Part Time Job 2 ago
Chapter 4 - Part Time Job 3 ago
Chapter 5 - Part Time Job 4 ago
Chapter 6 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 1 ago
Chapter 7 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 2 ago
Chapter 8 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 3 ago
Chapter 9 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 4 ago
Chapter 10 -The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 5 ago
Chapter 11 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 6 ago
Chapter 12 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 7 ago
Chapter 13 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 8 ago
Chapter 15 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 9 ago
Chapter 15 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 10 ago
Chapter 16 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa 11 ago
Chapter 17 - The Mass Murder at Dionaea Salon and Spa Epilogue ago
Chapter 18 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 1 ago
Chapter 19 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 2 ago
Chapter 20 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 3 ago
Chapter 21 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 4 ago
Chapter 22 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 5 ago
Chapter 23 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 6 ago
Chapter 24 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 7 ago
Chapter 25 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 8 ago
Chapter 26 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 9 ago
Chapter 27 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 10 ago
Chapter 28 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 11 ago
Chapter 29 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 12 ago
Chapter 30 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test 13 ago
Chapter 31 - The Lord of Vermilion’s Test Epilogue ago
Chapter 32 - Heroic Bloodshed 1 ago
Chapter 33 - Heroic Bloodshed 2 ago
Chapter 34 - Heroic Bloodshed 3 ago
Chapter 35 - Heroic Bloodshed 4 ago
Chapter 36 - Heroic Bloodshed 5 ago
Chapter 37 - Heroic Bloodshed 6 ago
Chapter 38 - Heroic Bloodshed 7 ago
Chapter 39 -Heroic Bloodshed 8 ago
Chapter 40 - Heroic Bloodshed 9 ago
Chapter 41 - Heroic Bloodshed 10 ago
Chapter 42 - Heroic Bloodshed Epilogue ago
Chapter 43 - Wild Hunt 1 ago
Chapter 44 - Wild Hunt 2 ago
Chapter 45 - Wild Hunt 3 ago
Chapter 46 - Wild Hunt 4 ago
Chapter 47 - Wild Hunt 5 ago
Chapter 48 - Wild Hunt 6 ago
Chapter 49 - Wild Hunt 7 ago
Chapter 50 - Wild Hunt 8 ago
Chapter 51 - Wild Hunt 9 ago
Chapter 52 - Wild Hunt 10 ago
Chapter 53 - Wild Hunt 11 ago
Chapter 54 - Wild Hunt 12 ago
Chapter 55 - Wild Hunt Epilogue ago
Chapter 56 - Termination 1 ago
Chapter 57 - Termination 2 ago
Chapter 58 - Termination 3 ago
Chapter 59 - Termination 4 ago
Chapter 60 - Termination 5 ago
Chapter 61 - Termination 6 ago
Chapter 62 - Termination 7 ago
Chapter 63 - Termination 8 ago
Chapter 64 - Termination 9 ago
Chapter 65 - Termination 10 ago
Chapter 66 - Termination 11 ago
Chapter 67 - Termination 12 ago
Chapter 68 - Termination 13 ago
Chapter 69 - Termination 14 ago
Chapter 70 - Termination Epilogue ago
Chapter 71 - The Dark One’s Respite 1 ago
Chapter 72 - The Dark One’s Respite 2 ago
Chapter 73 - The Dark One’s Respite 3 ago
Chapter 74 - The Dark One’s Respite 4 ago
Chapter 75 - The Dark One’s Respite 5 ago
Chapter 76 - The Dark One’s Respite 6 ago
Chapter 77 - The Dark One’s Respite 7 ago
Chapter 78 - The Dark One’s Respite 8 ago
Chapter 79 - The Dark One’s Respite 9 ago
Chapter 80 - The Dark One’s Respite 10 ago
Chapter 81 - The Dark One’s Respite 11 ago
Chapter 82 - The Dark One’s Respite Epilogue ago
Chapter 83 - Beginning’s End 1 ago
Chapter 84 - Beginning’s End 2 ago
Chapter 85 - Beginning’s End 3 ago
Chapter 86 - Beginning’s End 4 ago
Chapter 87 - Beginning’s End 5 ago
Chapter 88 - Beginning’s End 6 ago
Chapter 89 - Beginning’s End 7 ago
Chapter 90 - Beginning’s End 8 ago
Chapter 91 - Beginning’s End 9 ago
Chapter 92 - Beginning’s End 10 ago
Chapter 93 - Beginning’s End 11 ago
Chapter 94 - Beginning’s End Epilogue ago
Chapter 95 - Unsung Heroes 1 ago
Chapter 96 - Unsung Heroes 2 ago
Chapter 97 - Unsung Heroes 3 ago
Chapter 98 - Unsung Heroes 4 ago
Chapter 99 - Unsung Heroes 5 ago
Chapter 100 - Unsung Heroes 6 ago
Chapter 101 - Unsung Heroes 7 ago
Chapter 102 - Unsung Heroes 8 ago
Chapter 103 - Unsung Heroes 9 ago
Chapter 104 - Unsung Heroes 10 ago
Chapter 105 - Unsung Heroes 11 ago
Chapter 106 - Unsung Heroes 12 ago
Chapter 107 - Unsung Heroes 13 ago
Chapter 108 - Unsung Heroes Epilogue ago
Chapter 109 - Left Hand of God 1 ago
Chapter 110 - Left Hand of God 2 ago
Chapter 111 - Left Hand of God 3 ago
Chapter 112 - Left Hand of God 4 ago
Chapter 113 - Left Hand of God 5 ago
Chapter 114 - Left Hand of God 6 ago
Chapter 115 - Left Hand of God 7 ago
Chapter 116 - Left Hand of God 8 ago
Chapter 117 - Left Hand of God 9 ago
Chapter 118 - Left Hand of God 10 ago
Chapter 119 - Left Hand of God 11 ago
Chapter 120 - Left Hand of God Epilogue ago
Reviews

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Mirrored
  • Overall Score

A decent start. The following criticism is meant to be helpful and Ihope doesn't come off ass too critical. 

1) Way too casual with the mass murder. Your main character kills as easily as he brushes his teeth, even when its too his detriment to do so. Even cold blooded murderers dont kill that easily, is actually the oposite of his supposed paranoid mindset. Also killing should have some emotion tied to it, if only contempt or impatience. "These thugs were just like those who terrorized his family back 'third world country'." If they fall like flies and even the main character doesn't care, why should the reader?

2) Hes poor but has a secret base full of billions of dollars woth of equipment? Also hes super smart and a magical alchemist but can't figure out he should sell stuff? Doesnt even have to be weapons, he could sell tv's or even cars on the blackmarket. Nevermind the fact he can probably just turn fridges into gold.

3)He so paranoid he doesn't trust heroes or business transactions but immediatly gives a underground doctor all of his secrets? Even though it's totally unecessary and he gets nothing from it? Especially stupid when you know hes activally being blackmailed by Crow; a hero that maniuplates others and deals in secrets. 

4)Please just name the third world country he comes from and give us a general idea of what life is like there. Stop saying "In the third world country he was from" its super offputting. 

Haterbaiter
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The MC can recover from brain damage... I can't...

I went into this story assuming, like most people who read the first chapter, that it was going to be a serious story. It wasn't. This story was the sole reason I made an account. You have absolutely no idea how much I wanted to rate this .5 out of 5. (stopped reading at chapter 9)

Okay, into the good stuff:

-It starts off with the main character angry about his situation and pissed that the villainess he fought against in a mall got put into prison, and not sentenced to death or something worse. This is good, very good, in fact, I found myself looking forward to reading this steaming garbage fire after seeing the reasonable motivation for him to become a bad-ish person. This sets a tone for the rest of the story to follow, right? No, actually it doesn't, and while I may like this introduction, it pains me to see the lost potential and doesn't go at all with the rest of the story. (I read up to chapter 9)

-The grammar is pretty good.

-That's it... that's literally all the good in this garbage story.

Bad Stuff:

-The MC. Everything about him sucks. First off, don't try and make your MC seem smart by making his powers revolve solely around his mind, and make everyone, aside from him and a few slightly important characters, retarded. Second, he's suffered the loss of limbs and brain damage, he shouldn't be this cheery murderer. HE SHOULDN'T FUCKING SAY "coz it's cool"! EVER! And finally, he's also, a dumbass. He trusts the doctor, who he knows jack-shit about, to do surgery on him. WTF? He's a 'genius' and can turn one material into another, has so much expensive equipment, but he's poor?

-He slaughters many, many people without a care in the world and none of the uptight moral-upholding people who know about it give a shit. If the lunch woman knows about what he did, then why don't any of the other people in this stupid world know? 

-The author doesn't understand what a quantum computer is, which pisses me off.

-Now, this next point is not necessarily a bad point. There is magic, high tech shit, superpowers, and probably aliens too. Some of this stuff doesn't go with each other, but it's a common trope in comic books (DC and Marvel) which you drew inspiration from, probably, so it's not that big of a deal, but the worldbuilding is still non existent even when you count the fact that you didn't elaborate on how two things that shouldn't go together exist in this world.

-Most of the humor comes out as unfunny and stale. (This one's based around my tastes and isn't applicable to everyone)

-All the side characters are forgettable and have no personalities. For example the lunch lady: secret badass, who has a harem and was a mobsters daughter (I think), this is an important character and has no characterization aside from 2 joke qualities. He has a friend, whose name I don't remember who likes boys love manga... that's it. His other friend... exists? Ther's also that one, tabula rasa person who reads minds, and fought her own teammate for no reason at all... (Idk how else to describe her) is a girl... and has all the aforementioned qualities, which are all problems (being a tabula isn't one of them) in her characterization that I'm too tired to go into. I think I've gone through enough to show you how 2 dimensional the characters are and how they all fall flat.

Verdict: The Mc had Omni-gel to recover from brain damage, you don't! Don't read this...

G3cko
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A sociopath in the making

As the review title says, this novel perfectly describes a sociopath. The main character has a lack of empathy, and kills anyone as long as it doesn’t go against his beliefs: make the world a better place... by any means nesecassary! A good(?) example of a real life MC would be Anders Breivik, who killed those students because of his beliefs, not due to perverse malevolence like a psychopath.

 

He, apparently, has no feelings as seen in his first exchange with Juuno(?) where he drops his supposed mask of emotion, which faltered her. Though he seems really emotional, and he’s generally not very manipulative (yet), which is a common trait with people that has antisocial personality disorder (psycho and sociopathy), hence the title of my review being “A sociopath in the making”. And yes, I know, he does, in recent chapters, cause a massive gang fight and is quite pleased with himself, even going so far as to “smile in delight”, but he is still primarily driven by his beliefs, hence why I believe that MC is a sociopath, rather than him being a psychopath. Being a psychopath is also more biological compared to being a sociopath, for example, a psychopaths brain releases way more dopamine than a normal human brain would. And that’s dopamine released due to sadistic tendencies, by the by.

 

MC is also narcissistic which, again, is something that psycho and sociopaths have in common. He is proud of his ability to create, as seen in his exchange doctor at MCs secret layer, coupled with the fact that he is a hands on kinda guy, that would never leave his work to others, which is also why he decided to become the good bad buy.

 

But I have to agree, som of the MCs logic seems severely flawed, since he can quite literally make anything science related but he’s still poor, and had to accept the doctors suggestion of taking on a job, though the supposed magic that got implanted into MCs brain might be enough to explain that, and his original goal being making a flashy debut revealing his technomancer powers later.

 

Anywho, it’s a great novel with a lot of potential for further world and non Theo character building. And yes, you could argue that Theo (MC) is cardboard, did you skip my whole “MC is a belief driven sociopathic mass murderer”? We don’t know a lot of his background, besides him being from a 3rd world country and being used to seeing death, which again ties into him being a sociopath, and with his friend briefly being mentioned getting shot to deathway back when, just to have Theo kill the murderer himself, MOST LIKELY NETTING THEO A HEFTY TRAUMA WHEN IT COMES TO MAKINF FRIENDS, PROBABLY CAUSING HIM TO SLOWLY GET ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER, then Theo’s mentality is either really well thought out, or everything just happens to make sense and line up with MC being a sociopath.

 

I’ve said sociopath-esque a lot by the way. Psychology, hoot yeah.

Douglass69
  • Overall Score

Had potential but the character ruined it.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

The story had lots of potential but then I started to actually pay attention to the mc and all that potential was gone. This story has possibly one of the most f**king stupid mc I have ever had the misfortune to read about can’t even give you the parts that are bad because everything is BAD. I MEAN BAD!!!!. I would only recommend this if you like to read about stories of wasted potential and genius mc that are actually retarded, contradicting and have a mentality of a 3 year old at his ABSOLUTE BEST and that might even be insulting to 3 year olds!!!!!!!

Elorie
  • Overall Score

Just a few problems with this - how can a genius super inventor slash technopath be poor? 

Makes zero sense. 

Doesn't trust anyone - and invites an underground doc of dubious morality to his secret base + surgery on him while unconscious? Seriously?

infinity
  • Overall Score

This is one of those fictions where you know that at the first chapter this is gonna be good

Main characters is quite strong but has a clear weakness

I hope this stays good

jwright
  • Overall Score

This book is great! It sucks you in and despite having a few obvious flaws, they matter very little in comparison with the fun that this book provides. 

msmith189
  • Overall Score

Love the premise execution needs work

If the MC could step it back a bit or lead to a different mind set the "Priestess" that took his arm and eye he needs to kill to get over the loss and faiure of not being the hero. But supervillains as an archetype have minions knowledge and power all you have set up beautifully. Though there worse things then dieing/killing there living as the storyteller keep in mind lex lurhur is all ways ready to though down with supperman but he also employs many people and gives to charty  

BeetleJuice
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Reviewed at chapter 94

So like the title says, I really want to like this story. I love superhero stories set in the modern day times and adding magic and supernatural beings into the mix sounds like a recipe for amazing, imaginative plot points and world-building. There are so many things you can do with this premise, it's actually crazy.

Unfortunately this is a recipe that only chefs that actually know what they're doing can pull off. And this author is definitely not one of them.

The author seems to have a fetish for anything with a hole wanting the protagonist to fill them up and this is simply indicative that he/she are hormonal children that just want to get their rocks off and write their fantasies out on 'paper' for the all the world to see, with no plans on improving their style and general skill of writing as I have seen very little to no improvement from the first chapter onwards.

The characters in this story are all entirely one-dimensional and seem to revolve around the protagonist. Very few of them have their own personalities, none of them being actually realistic.

Like I said in the first paragraph, this story has a lot of potential for amazing world-building. However, since this world has so much potential, it will need an equally large amount of imagination, creativeness and planning to pull off. The author seems to have a good imagination but the latter two fall short.
We're ninety-four chapters in and some of the factions have been explained and their histories unveiled to the reader, but the world itself, the limitations on physics, what is possible and what isn't, the potential of super powers, where they come from, how the supernatural beings came to be, even the protagonist himself's powers, how he uses them, his limitations... All of this has been left in the dark.

I've tried not to spoil anything as most of the other reviewers have already done, and thus this is my five cents...

YesorNo
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Lump of cool, Emotional depth of a teaspoon

A wonderful page-turner with coherent story arcs that got me reading right through till the latest chapter.

The thing is - it was never meant to be anything more than a mass of cool concepts thrown together. Ergo, no emotional conflicts. At all.

The main heroine is madly in love. The other girls are all for a harem without any protest. Theodore himself is just an edgy murder-hobo from beginning to end.

So, half the score for characters. Half given because the character concepts are cool. Half deducted because of the lack of emotional range.

But, once again, if the one sentence paragraphs didn't tip you off, this is just a casual write. And it is worth it, just for the wonderfully crafted world and the cool powers.

Keep it up!