The Gamer - Naruto World

The Gamer - Naruto World

by sigmarc

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

The Original Gamer Han-Jee Han lost his precious people in 'The Great War' against the Void King, The Cthulhu and The Great Magus Udivus. For his precious people, he, the Original gamer, closes his eye and hand over the thread.

In a world where ninja exists and use chakra to bring creation and destruction with a flick of a finger. A new journey begins with an unknown boy in the village of Konohagakure.

 

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  • Ratings :
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  • Pages :
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Author
sigmarc

sigmarc

Walking Disaster

Achievements
250,000 Views
100 Comments
Fledgling Reviewer (I)
5 Review Upvotes
Top List #2000
Word Count (14)
5th Anniversary
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue ago
Chapter 1 – Yoshizawa Raito [Edit] ago
Chapter 2 – Break in Reality [Edit] ago
Chapter 3 – Exploring the power [Edit] ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
Chapter 9 ago
Chapter 10 – New Cheat ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 : First time fighting as a team ago
Chapter 16: Damn it Anko-nee! ago
Chapter 17: We will get Strong Together ago
Chapter 18: New Jutsu ago
Chapter 19 - Genjutsu Hazard ago
Chapter 20 - Disappointment ago
Chapter 21- Naruto's first fuinjutsu ago
Chapter 22: Survival Exams Begins!! ago
Chapter 23 – First day on Survival Exams ago
Chapter 24 - Upgrade ago
Chapter 25 – A Women’s Anger ago
Chapter 26 – First Step, Beyond a Student ago
Chapter 27 – Anger or Tantrum ago
Chapter 28 – True Genin Test ago
Chapter 29 – Sword Drawing ago
Chapter 30 – D-Ranks and Binding Techniques ago
Chapter 31 – Gifts and Inheritance ago
Chapter 32 – C-Rank ago
Chapter 33 – Journey to Tea Country (1) ago
Chapter 34 – Journey to Tea Country (2) ago
Chapter 35 – Small Tea Village ago
Chapter 36 – Small Tea Ceremony ago
Chapter 37 – Rescue ago
Chapter 38 – Assassination and Abyss ago
Chapter 39 – Basic level ago
Chapter 40 – Power Up! ago
Chapter 41 – Calling from the Wave ago
Chapter 42 –Evil Evil ago
Chapter 43 – Doing Deeds ago
Chapter 44 – Doing Deeds 2 ago
Chapter 45 – Meeting Haku ago
Chapter 46 – Fights and Schemes ago
Chapter 47 - Back to Mist ago
Chapter 48 – Back Home ago
Chapter 49 – Challenger’s Stage ago
Chapter 50 – Purple Poison Refinement ago
Chapter 51 – Meeting ago
Chapter 52 – Chūnin Exams! Start! ago
Chapter 53 – Cheaters! ago
Chapter 54 – Uzumaki! ago
Chapter 55 – Forest of Death ago
Chapter 56 – Danger in the Forest! ago
Chapter 57– Orochimaru! ago
Chapter 58 – Team Dosu! ago
Chapter 59 – Evil Sealing! ago
Chapter 60 – Caught!! ago
Chapter 61 ago
Chapter 62 ago
Chapter 63 – Releasing a little bit ago
Chapter 64 – Fight, Genins!! ago
Chapter 65 - Series of Battles ago
Chapter 66 - End of Preliminary Exam ago
Chapter 67 – Detained ago
Chapter 68 – Jee Han and the Quest ago
Chapter 69 – Shukaku ago
Chapter 70 – Bunpuku ago
Chapter 71 – Training Begins ago
Chapter 72 – Reports ago
Chapter 73 – BB-Rank Mission ago
Chapter 74 – Southwestern Station ago
Chapter 75 - Execution ago
Chapter 76 – Erased ago
Chapter 77 - Parting Gift ago
Chapter 78 – Don’t Worry About Me ago
Chapter 79 – Start! ago
Chapter 80 – First Signs ago
Chapter 81 – Tricks and Failure ago

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Pixulior
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
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Story is too overrated

 I started to read this story and didn't like the beginning, so I went back to the fiction page and saw the stellar ratings and reviews. I decided to give it another try with hopes that the story might improve in later chapters, but I wasn't able to read past chapter six, before I wanted to continously slam my forehead into a wall.

My ratings are relative to other examples I have seen on this page, so 2 1/2 stars for style doesn't mean that the style is half as good as that of a professional writer.

Style: I don't know if it can even be called a style, the author just writes random bad dialogue and swearwords, mixed in with some basic descriptions of the surroundings and a few gamer screens.

Story: The story is basically the mc knowing everything and telling others what to do with everybody for some reason doing what he wants, no explaining of the happenings around, the story is rushed and superficial, the reader is supposed to know exactly what the author is thinking and of course there are the mentioned gamer screens. The source material (canon story) is at times altered so grotesquely I'd almost call it violated.

 Grammar: Every few sentences there is one you have to read multiple times in order to understand what the author wanted to say and the spelling is atrocious, even if the author isn't a native speaker he/she could at least have gotten a proof reader.

Character: Well, in this fiction there is exactly one character: the mc. The rest are just a bunch of plot devices to promote the mc. The mc knows everything without a proper explanation for his knowledge, it's almost like a reincarnation protagonist's knowledge of the show (this isn't a reincarnation story, so the mc's knowlege of secrets has to be built up and explained gradually). The OCs are unnecessary and bland, the canon characters are out of character. Character development is mostly nonexistent.

I know that the quality of this review is not much higher than the quality of this story, but I didn't want to waste too much effort, just wanted to save a few people from falling in the same trap as I have.

kaoxx287
Overall

 A Harsh title for a harsh reality. 

Usually, I don't like posting a negative review but this story is just too bad.

  • No plot.
  • No character other than the MC (who seems to know everything without any reasonable reason)
  • Bad grammar
  • Status screen everywhere 

I won't lose anymore time developing this review.

Seriously, I can't understand those rating this story with 5 stars. Maybe because they are hardcore fans of Naruto...

Even so, this story is just not worth it. 

Sorry about this review dear author. I usually prefer to encourage new author and their story but you have to put some effort to deserve that. 

A little less of useless status screen and a little more of proofreading would be a good start...

rconniving
Overall

This is to the author. Please get someone to Beta your story. I'm sure there are any number of people that would help you get the grammer to a point where it is actually readable. It has a lot of potential that is being squandered because the grammer renders your story almost unreadable. Like saying "paper" instead of "paperwork". It's small but still makes it painful to read.

Ankur_93
Overall

Everything Cliche that you can think of.

It started out nice; in the very first chapter the MC states that Naruto is the most annoying person and from there it seems something new, promising.

But then 4 chapters later the MC has invited naruto to live in his home and starts mothering him, all the while they are the same age!! And this happened out of nowhere, like what? Where did this come from?

It annoying. And disappinting.

lord bork
Overall

not much to say its got bad grammer bad style to many origanal characters that make no senense but i like it i dont know why but i do

 

Zygan
Overall

*Sigh* s is most likely never updating againfrown

iiLoki
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

good read but so fucking long update!! fix that!

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123123ze
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Yay, trending fictions ftw! Has a lot of potential considering the type of story it is and I feel this would do great in the future! Good grammar too with a unique style of writing. Lets see I guess.

 

Djablo
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This kind of cross-over has already been seen many times, on fanfiction.net and on RRL, but I have to say that the author did a good job.

Good points:

 - The system used isn't an info dump

 - The MC is likeable (and is an OC: original char), and not stupid

 - The story isn't a copy/paste from the original world and the future will probably be different from canon.

 - For now, this is a light-hearted story, no world domination plot, no Danzo etc.

 - Steady release, I hope you will continue for a long time

Advice:

 - Don't make the MC possess thousands of justus but will only use 10 or so of them.

 - Make sure that the MC is getting "smarter" as his INT and WIS increase. (Things he failed to notice in battle at the beginning of the story, will be seen later)

 - As long as it doesn't become a copy/paste from canon, it should be good enough

 

Know that everything I said comes from my own opinion, not everyone thinks the same, just like not everyone has the same taste.

Good luck and I hope you will go far!

 

flashmurder6666
Overall

This story is bloody epic i love it.        ................................................m...................................................................