Welcome to heaven.
The words spread out evenly on a large sign.
Without a single word in bold or written in a fancy way,the words seemed monotonous.
It was as if the person who wrote it had written this have been doing this for years while having sucidal tendencies.
“What in the hell is this?”Saigo Masamune mumbled.
He looked around.Aside from the sign,nothing else is in sight.It is all white.
“So…this is heaven?What happened to me…”Saigo's cloudy eyes slowly cleared.
“I…I was killed by an elf-like person?What…what was that technique she used?She chanted...so magic? But was that real?”
Saigo could not put two and two together,after all,the very idea of magic was absurd in the real world! The only reason Saigo knew about them was through reading his ‘textbook’ on how to be a hero,anime and manga.
“Well,I'm dead already so there is no point thinking about it,but if I see her again,I will kill regardless.”Saigo muttered.
Saigo sat down and leaned against the sign.
“I still don't know much about this ‘heaven’ yet,I guess I should just wait here for the next person to come by…maybe he or she will know more…”
Saigo closed his eyes and activated [instantaneous sleep],a skill he made to fall asleep immediately anywhere,anytime to recharge his energy from his late night out to ‘discipline’ criminals.
Just as Saigo's conscious was about to slip off to dreamland, “You already known about it haven't you?”a monotonous voice sounded out near him.
“You already known that you are not a hero haven't you?”it inquire,as though it did not need an answer,it diappeared.
Saigo jolted awake,he frantically looked around, looking for the source of the sound.
“You already know about it haven't you?”the voice reappeared and repeated.
“You already known that you are not a hero,haven't you?”the voice asked again.
“You are just a demon,aren't you?”the voice continued its chain of inquiries without regards to whatever Saigo said.
“Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.Shut up.”
“You know you are just a murderer,don't you?”
“You are a murderer”
“NO!I AM A HERO!!!I AM THE HERO WHO DISCIPLINES THE VILLIANS,THE ONE WHO BRING THEM TO JUSTICE!!!”Saigo threw up his head up and roared.
“Law imprisons minor criminals and executes major ones.What do you do?”
“…”Saigo's heard flashed around with a murderous glint in his clear blue eyes.
“Breaking into a private property,murder,slaughter,assassination regardless of dept of sin.Do you really think that you are a ‘hero’?”
Hearing that long statement,Saigo let out a laugh of ridicule. “Dept of sin?What’s that?”Saigo’s eyes turned red with fanaticism as he proclaimed “Dept of sin?What a joke,regardless of whether it's a small sin or a big sin,a sin is a sin isn't it?”
“…”the voice remained silent.
“Hey there voice,why are you silent?”
“Hm.No matter.Hey voice,just wait there until I come along.And when I do,it will be time to pay for your sin of angering me.”Saigo sneered as he sat back down.
In a room somewhere on the white plain,
“…how interesting…ku ku ku…”the voice whispered,but this time,in a somewhat women-like tone…
"I meant to break his mind a little...but it seems that he had brushed it off easily..." the owner of the voice let out a small chuckle.
"Fu fu fu, ha ha ha, mwa ha ha! This is so interesting! I can't wait to see what amusement you will bring me in the future!!!"
Of course this is a secret from Saigo.
An unknown number of days later,a shadow could be seen flickering about the ‘welcome to heaven’ sign.That figure was of course,Saigo Masamune.
“Fu~u.”Saigo let out a breath as he stopped moving to take a rest.
“I still can't believe it,training is so much easier in heaven!”He exclaimed.
“My physical prowess have already reached unprecedented heights when compared to even atheletes on Earth!In fact it's way higher?”
Saigo sighed in amazement as he inspected his own body. Despite his greatly increased physical ability,his size had not changed at all.
“Wow… at this rate I might become the next on* punc* ma*.”Saigo couldn't help but let out a laugh.
Despite saying it as a joke,Saigo's eyes glowed like a child’s .Although he had spent quite a long time in heaven training,he had not even gotten a bit hungry. At worst, he had only felt a little fatigue due to long training hours.
Just then, Saigo's eyes flashed about spotted a small silhouette a great distance away.
“Oh…finally,another person…”Saigo let out a sigh of relief as his clear blue eyes turned sharp.
Using his superhuman-like agility,Saigo’s body flickered and he appeared behind the signboard,out of the sight of the silhouette. He jumped and got onto the back of the signboard.
“Well then…let's have a look at who you are…”although delighted,Saigo didn't forget to remain vigilant.
Thus Saigo waited. Waited patiently for the figure to get closer .The silhouette was approaching slowly,however it could be seen that that figure was running at great speed…kinda fast…slowly...really slowly.
Saigo face turned dark as he waited.
“How long does he want to take to get here?!?!?!”
Saigo clenched his teeth,attempting to stop his temptation to get off the signboard to meet the slow fellow.
Saigo took a deep breath and calmed down,remaining in his awkward position behind the signboard.
Saigo waited and waited and waited and… “He is still not here yet?!?!?!?!?!?!”
Saigo's face turned red in anger and he jumped off the signboard.
“Where is that god darned fello… ah.”
Right in front of him appeared…the thief he had killed just before he died…
“It’s you!”Saigo's eyes widened in shock.However right after that his eyes turned sharp and darkened and he let out a ferocious grin.
“Kyaaaaaaa!!!!!!”the thief screeched,attempting to escape.
“Hold it right there…my friend.”Saigo grabbed the thief's shoulder and said with a smile.
“Fuck no!” the thief retorted. “I am finally in heaven,there is no way I will stay in the same place as a demon aka my murderer right?”
Saigo's perfect business smile cracked and became seemingly forced.
“Now now my friend,isn’t it rare that two people who knows each other will find each other here in heaven?Out of billions and billions of people we had found each other,don't you think that it's fate?Let’s put our past behind us and bury hatchet.” Saigo said with a dark-looking forced smile as he wrapped his arm around the thief's neck,putting him in an arm choke.
“Ndxiejijfgcytfjgv…I gi…I give up….ump.” foam flowed out from the thief's mouth as his body went limp.
“Hm,still as weak as ever huh.” Saigo sneered as he threw the thief's body on the ground and gave it a few kicks.
“Hey!Wake up!Oi!” Saigo called out.Upon receiving no response, Saigo knelt down and looked at the robber straight in the face. Saigo smiled. And gave the thief a smack.
*piak* “Hey you awake yet?” *piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak* *piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak* *piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak* *piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak**piak*
Saigo continuously slapped the thief on both sides of the face upon not receiving an answer.
“Huh,so people can die on heaven.”Saigo muttered.
Saigo leaned forward until he reached the thief's ears. “Hey,since you are dead,allow me to do some thing ni~ce to your bo~dy.”
The thief's eyes immediately spread wide open as he got into a prostrating position. “All hail the demon lord.I beg for your excellency to leave me alone.”the thief begged.
“Demon lord?”a vein appeared on Saigo's head.
“May the great demon lord have mercy.” the thief continued to beg,unbeknownst to the fate awaits him.
Saigo took a deep breath. The smile on his face disappeared. A cold glint flashed pass his eyes.
“It seems that you have yet to learn your lesson.”Saigo said in a monotonous tone.
“Eh?”the thief let out a confused voice.Just as the robber looked up,he realised that the world went dark.
*splat*the pure white world was dyed red.
“Tsk.Died so easily again.”Saigo turned around and went back to his own seat.
Saigo let out a sigh. “So I need to wait for the next person huh.”
Just when Saigo was about to drift off to dreamland,*swoop*,he heard a sound similar to a vacuum cleaner from the corpse…
Saigo opened his eyes and looked at the thief’s corpse,specifically the head.
The head was back in one piece.
Saigo whistled, “So we can't die in heaven huh.”he exclaimed.
“Puah!” The thief woke up with a jolt.
“I'm alive?I’m alive!!!” the thief let out a cry of delight.
“Oi.Shut the fuck up.”
The thief froze as he turned his head.
“Kyaaaaaaaaa!!!The demon is here!!!”
“You just don't learn do you.”Saigo cracked his fist as he walked towards the robber.
A scene of carnage appeared in heaven. Produced by the non-stop killing of a poor little thief.
At one point of time, “Oh god, please let me get me from this demon please!!!” the revived thief cried out.
“Ha...ha...,not bad even for a criminal scum like you.” Saigo panted as he let out a bitter smile.
Nonetheless,the thief got killed again,adding to another pool of blood to the already flooded area.
“Enough of this bullshit.” Saigo finally said as the robber revived again.
“Oi thief,we need to talk.” Saigo gritted his teeth in unwillingness as he approached the thief.
“What..what does the lord hero want?” the traumatised thief stuttered as he asked.
“Want to team up for a while?”Saigo asked.
The thief's jaw dropped. "Pardon?”
“I said,do you want to team up for a while?” Saigo asked again.
“Why does the lord hero need my help?”the thief inquired.
“YES or NO.”Saigo ignored his question and asked again.
“Yes yes,of course yes!!!”the traumatised thief answered.
“Good.Now lets go on to the introduction,I am Saigo Masamune,18 years old,student(great hero).Nice(puke) to meet you.”
“Oh,nice to meet you(eeekkkk),I am Akami Yozora,23 years old,thief(professional victim).”
“Akami?What a feminine name!”Saigo's eyes twitched just as he was about to laugh.
“How rude!”the thief retorted. “Akami is a great name my mother gave me!Besides I am a women!Whats so funny about that?”the thief complained as she(?) took off her ski cap.
Long hair overflowed,it was unknown how did that much a hair managed to fit in the small ski hat.
The ‘male’ thief transformed into a great beauty.
Now,it is Saigo’s turn to drop his jaw.
“You are really a girl?”Saigo couldn't help but ask.
“Of course I am!What else do I look like?”
“Huh?How rude!Even for a demon like you,how can you mistake a women for a man?”
At that instant,the world went silent.
“Ah.” Akamai realised what she just said and covered her mouth.
Saigo’s shocked eyes turned dark as he looked at Akami.
“Uh,can't we talk this out partner?” Akami asked as she took a step back.
In reply to that question,Saigo merely smiled as he took a step towards Akami.
Akami’s screech sounded throughout the white world as another pool of blood was created.