[FINISHED, AWAITING PUBLICATION] Xtreme Manly Man Force of Intense Badassery: The Fountain of Testosterone

by KellInkston

Original HIATUS Adventure Comedy Fantasy Satire Anti-Hero Lead Cyberpunk Grimdark High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Multiple Lead Characters Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Ring'a'ding'ding mother fucker. Did you ACTUALLY THINK we were done here?!

NEWSFLASH:

Men of the One Million Realms Unite!

A murderous duo of badasses, bound by the spilling of blood and seared in the fiery infernos of battle, angrily part company in search of man’s ultimate holy grail, The Fountain of Testosterone. Rick Durenor, a stoic mercenary, lives up to his nom de guerre– Ultra Death Graveman, while his former partner and kinda-but-not-really friend, Heart Tearer Outer, seeks revenge for a perceived slight that launches both men down a path that neither may return from.

The quest is noble; a crusade intended for only the manliest of men, set against the backdrop of evildoers, men with spiders for heads, crazy dudes with buzzsaws for arms, and those are the nicer guys! Allegiances are never sure on the road to absolute testosterone driven power. Just as Graveman forms a band of fierce followers, doubts are raised and trusts are questioned. The bottom line in this fantasy, sci-fi adventure is ‘cover your own ass’ – death is coming, and it's probably yours.

Lock and load, raise those fists and move over, bitch: Xtreme Force punts pussies to the curb and dispatches an all-out assault to deliver death, screaming, disgusting misogyny, and virile, ultra-erect audacity. Don't listen to your mom when she tells you to clean your awesome room, don't say "excuse me" when you leave the dinner table, and brush your teeth only once a day. This is the way of men.

Will our badass heroes reach the legendary FOUNTAIN OF TESTOSTERONE, or will they DIE?! Hell fuckin' yeah they will. They'll die AND they'll reach the fountain, because both of those things are manly as fuck. You doubtin' these boys? Shit, kid; you're trippin'.

Oh yeah, and it's definitely not satire, so don't come in expecting social commentary or any other form of meaningful metaphorical dialouge, ya' nerd-ass-dork-butt-wiener-face.

Updated every GOSHDARN MONDAY and every FRICKIN' FRIDAY.

(Also https://kellinkston.com/ is where you can get your hands on some more radical fictz. You best show up or I'm giving up your seat to Greg, and we both know you like spare ribs and beer more than that square, so get over there and have a radical cookout with your Crazy Uncle Kell.)

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 10,676
  • Average Views :
  • 334
  • Followers :
  • 17
  • Favorites :
  • 7
  • Ratings :
  • 6
  • Pages :
  • 317
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
KellInkston

KellInkston

Extra-dimensional Analyst

Achievements
2nd Anniversary
Word Smith (V)
Good Commenter (II)
Group Leader (III)
I Am Ascending (IV)
Advertisement
Remove
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
FIFTY-FIFTY (AKA: PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE, TO DEATH) ago
GET THE SHIT OUT OF MY WAY, YOU DICKS! ago
WE NEED A TEAM ago
FUCK THE POLICE ago
WELCOME TO THE WASTELAND. WE GOT FUN N' GAMES! ago
PUNCHING OLD FRIENDS IN THE FACE AND THEN PUNCHING NEW ONES IN THE FACE ago
XING THE XTREME XRIDGE OF XTREME XUNISHMENT (AKA: ODDVAR, THE FIRST) ago
THE SWAMP OF FIRE, PISS, AND HAVING ONE'S INTERNAL ORGANS LIQUIFIED BY SPIDER VENOM ago
YOU BREATHE FIRE? SHIT, DUDE. ago
DEEP DARK SWAMPY BLACKNESS ago
Cloak and AXE ago
A BUNCH OF SISSIES (AKA: MY LITTLE WEAKLING: FRIENDSHIP IS STUPID) ago
I FEEL AS THOUGH YOU WILL REGRET SUCH AN ACTION ago
NEEDLESTHROUGHYOURBLOODYGODDAMNEYES MOUNTAIN ago
THE XOST XTREME XIZARD (AKA: I’M THE REAL HIGH OVERLORD!) ago
"TEAMWORK" N Shiet ago
BUCKLE UP, YA’ DWEEBS! (AKA: THE UNLICENCED DRIVING OF MAGICAL FORTRESSES) ago
THE DOOM DRAGOONS: GET YOUR FACE READY FOR SOME ULTIMATE JUSTICE! (AKA: TRY HARDER, WEAKLINGS!) ago
ULTIMATE MANLY FRIENDSHIP FORCE ago
NAMES N' SHIT ago
THE BLOODLESS ONE ago
FUCKING FEELINGS ago
THE DROP ago
REVENGE AT LAST ago
THE PATH OF MANLY MANHOOD ago
THE MANLIEST OF FLUIDS ago
WIPING THE BLOOD OFF ago
XTREME MANLY MAN FORCE OF INTENSE PHILOSOPHY ago
ONLY COWARDS RUN ago
DEALING WITH THINGS LIKE A MAN... N-NO HOMO ago
GOOD BYES ARE NOT MANLY. STOP, DUDE, DON'T HUG ME. DUDE, STOP. STOP MY FRIENDS ARE H- DUDE, DUDE! ago
SCIENCE, MAGIC... SCIAGIC! ago
Reviews

Leave a review