Shovels In Spades

by Lone

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

We all have dreams of becoming powerful, becoming the cool mage that rules the world, living as the dashing rogue who can steal a kingdom's entire royal treasury undetected, or perhaps, the valiant knight whose prowess on the battlefield is unmatched by all. 

However, when the apocalypse strikes, you can only use what you have at your disposal, be that guns, baseball bats, your fists, or maybe, just maybe, a shovel.

One young man who goes by the name of Darenzo has just had his world altered into one that is now the focal point of some sort of experiment.

Just at the end of his shift at the skip site, a worldwide announcement was made, that not only changed Darenzo's life, but also the lives of all of the Earth's inhabitants.

Can Darenzo survive and thrive in this changed world? Or will his growing madness best him? The answers to these questions can only be revealed with time.

[Goal of 2 chapters per week, the only exceptions being announced breaks or emergencies]


(The new cover art is a courtesy of the very kind and talented ssddx and was designed using the fanart cover of cthulupillar as the base.)


This novel is a participant in The Writer's Pledge

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 7,437,447
  • Average Views :
  • 19,368
  • Followers :
  • 4,467
  • Favorites :
  • 1,737
  • Ratings :
  • 1,489
  • Pages :
  • 2,699
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Lone

Lone

The Scottish Slothy Sloth

Achievements
Bug Report
Word Count (18)
4,000 Followers
5,000,000 Views
The Cake is out of the Oven
Purage
10,000 Comments
  Eithbannukbrella
Author Premium Beta Testers
Double Meaning for Sleeping Contest Winner
Resilient Support
QnA Winner
400 Review Upvotes
4th Anniversary
Bug Report
Advertisement
Remove
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Book 1 Prologue: Change and Shovel ago
B1: Chapter 1: Building and Fusion ago
B1: Chapter 2: Traps and Rage ago
B1: Chapter 3: Merits and Sleep ago
B1: Chapter 4: Base and Clothes ago
B1: Chapter 5: Status and Jewel ago
B1: Chapter 6: Rimmy and Robbing ago
B1: Chapter 7: Seal and Platinum ago
B1: Chapter 8: Temptress and Confusion ago
B1: Chapter 9: Faith and Offer ago
B1: Chapter 10: Poison and Charisma ago
B1: Chapter 11: Question and Return ago
B1: Chapter 12: Stupid and Restored ago
B1: Chapter 13: God and Crippled ago
B1: Chapter 14: Smash and Suspicion ago
B1: Chapter 15: Princess and Anacusis ago
B1: Chapter 16: Respect and Perks ago
B1: Chapter 17: Citizen and Buffer ago
B1: Chapter 18: Court and Motivation ago
B1: Chapter 19: Wall and Earthquake ago
B1: Chapter 20: Cabin and Lighthouse ago
B1: Chapter 21: Suggestions and Requirements ago
B1: Chapter 22: Upgrade and Charity ago
B1: Chapter 23: Exhaustion and Note ago
B1: Chapter 24: Box and Safe ago
B1: Chapter 25: Syringe and Return ago
B1: Chapter 26: Baseball and Event ago
B1: Chapter 27: Respect and Transfusion ago
B1: Chapter 28: Crocs and Rash ago
B1: Chapter 29: Ring and Mithril ago
B2: Chapter 30: Leader and Food ago
B1: Chapter 31: Conical and Enfield ago
B1: Chapter 32: Hamson and Return ago
B1: Chapter 33: Matt and Dorian ago
B1: Chapter 34: Consumption and Life ago
B1: Chapter 35: Rimmy and I ago
B1: Chapter 36: Choice and Changes ago
B1: Chapter 37: Jesters and Fort ago
B1: Chapter 38: Fiona and Villain ago
B1: Chapter 39: Fun and Crafting ago
B1: Chapter 40: Failure and Levels ago
B1: Chapter 41: Pride and Split ago
B1: Chapter 42: Cube and Table ago
B1: Chapter 43: Tome and Stress ago
B1: Chapter 44: Graveyard and Cecil ago
B1: Chapter 45: Pala and Gods ago
B1: Chapter 46: Candle and Reality ago
B1: Chapter 47: Jorden and Harvesting ago
B1: Chapter 48: Trench and Volunteers ago
B1: Chapter 49: Crusher and Plan ago
B1: Chapter 50: Og and Denied ago
B1: Chapter 51: Gravity and Tide ago
B1: Chapter 52: Illusion and Damage ago
B1: Chapter 53: Confidence and Cyanide ago
B1: Chapter 54: Fear and Danger ago
B1: Chapter 55: Wound and Vine ago
B1: Chapter 56: Towel and Smile ago
B1: Chapter 57: Mave and Dream ago
B1: Chapter 58: Crushed and Conclusion ago
B1: Chapter 59: Absolute and Return ago
B1: Chapter 60: Punishment and Thanks ago
B1: Chapter 61: Mini and Endearing ago
B1: Chapter 62: Questions and Luck ago
B1: Chapter 63: Design and Past ago
B1: Chapter 64: Rankings and Changes ago
B1: Chapter 65: Loyalty and Speech ago
B1: Chapter 66: Laws and Request ago
B1: Chapter 67: Agreements and Butterfly ago
B1: Chapter 68: Size and Walls ago
B1: Chapter 69: Upgrades and Guesses ago
B1: Chapter 70: Mayor and Miller ago
B1: Chapter 71: Girly and Knife ago
B1: Chapter 72: Departure and Condo ago
B1: Chapter 73: Survivors and Soldiers ago
B1: Chapter 74: Acquisition and Rearming ago
B1: Chapter 75: Kabatay and Demands ago
B1: Chapter 76: Shark and Snipers ago
B1: Chapter 77: Sentence and M939 ago
B1: Chapter 78: Shock and Thoughts ago
B1: Chapter 79: Ahab and Threat ago
B1: Chapter 80: Relationship and Exchange ago
B1: Chapter 81: Barrier and Gab ago
B1: Chapter 82: Gloves and Roger ago
B1: Chapter 83: Mansion and Rose ago
B1: Chapter 84: Warning and Information ago
B1: Chapter 85: Emotion and Hindsight ago
B1: Chapter 86: Stats and Resistances ago
B1: Chapter 87: Training and Database ago
B1: Chapter 88: Trust and Hug ago
B1: Chapter 89: Guilt and Pipes ago
B1: Chapter 90: Meeting and Four ago
B1: Chapter 91: Line and Lasers ago
B1: Chapter 92: Ease and Phases ago
B1: Chapter 93: Plan and Deadlift ago
B1: Chapter 94: Defeat and Slice ago
B1: Chapter 95: Tears and Hope ago
B1: Chapter 96: Struggle and Madison ago
Book 1 Epilogue: Puzzle and Dream ago
Book 2 Prologue: Aila and Punishment ago
B2: Chapter 1: Beater and Titan ago
B2: Chapter 2: Gestures and Broken ago
B2: Chapter 3: Watermelon and Whiskey ago
B2: Chapter 4: Cute and Tower ago
B2: Chapter 5: Lightning and Need ago
B2: Chapter 6: Rebuilding and Status ago
B2: Chapter 7: Barracks and Smithy ago
B2: Chapter 8: Quests and Announcements ago
B2: Chapter 9: Useless and Bullies ago
B2: Chapter 10: Dungeon and Medals ago
B2: Chapter 11: Pursuer and Replacement ago
B2: Chapter 12: Books and Bonus ago
B2: Chapter 13: Teens and Cages ago
B2: Chapter 14: Bravery and Captives ago
B2: Chapter 15: Rocky and Vincent ago
B2: Chapter 16: Storybooks and Deranged ago
B2: Chapter 17: Citizens and Peace ago
B2: Chapter 18: Passion and Underwhelmed ago
B2: Chapter 19: Reika and Hamson ago
B2: Chapter 20: Rankings and Moustache ago
B2: Chapter 21: Stats and Arrest ago
B2: Chapter 22: Changes and Chicken ago
B2: Chapter 23: Titan and Chips ago
B2: Chapter 24: Foot and Bank ago
B2: Chapter 25: Changes and Entertainer ago
B2: Chapter 26: Food and Concoction ago
B2: Chapter 27: Humvee and Smoke ago
B2: Chapter 28: Benjamin and Trench ago
B2: Chapter 29: Crater and Edward ago
B2: Chapter 30: Scouts and Bunker ago
B2: Chapter 31: M1 Abrams and Bonus ago
B2: Chapter 32: Rebirth and Hand-cannon ago
B2: Chapter 33: Snapping and Deal ago
B2: Chapter 34: Departure and Return ago
B2: Chapter 35: Sister and Parents ago
B2: Chapter 36: Barbarossa and Resolve ago
B2: Chapter 37: Brother and Anger ago
B2: Chapter 38: Evolution and Status ago
B2: Chapter 39: Chains and Rage ago
B2: Chapter 40: Bonfire and Friendship ago
B2: Chapter 41: Citizens and Growth ago
B2: Chapter 42: Vibrations and Feeling ago
B2: Chapter 43: One Monster and Bound ago
B2: Chapter 44: Hollow Victory and Great Loss ago
B2: Chapter 45: Newfound Grief and Warranted Guilt ago
B2: Chapter 46: Funeral and Phoenix Heart ago
B2: Chapter 47: Aila and Text ago
B2: Chapter 48: Pondside Talk and Lizardman Attack ago
B2: Chapter 49: Slap and Absorption ago
B2: Chapter 50: Terms and Distraction ago
B2: Chapter 51: Fusion and Voice ago
B2: Chapter 52: New Citizens and Bob ago
B2: Chapter 53: God Facts and Heat ago
B2: Chapter 54: City Lord and Rimmy's Core ago
B2: Chapter 55: Morte and Shen Mu ago
B2: Chapter 56: Magical Skills and Laughing Skull ago
B2: Chapter 57: Lovers Duel and Shovel Arts ago
B2: Chapter 58: Ellie Richie and The Watching Gods ago
B2: Chapter 59: Mountainous Eruption and Greater Telekinesis ago
B2: Chapter 60: Cleaning Up and Second Wave ago
B2: Chapter 61: Battle Plan and Death Magic ago
B2: Chapter 62: Multicoloured Skull and Diving Titan ago
B2: Chapter 63: Reinstated Advisor and Disgruntled Mu ago
B2: Chapter 64: Future Project and Useless City ago
B2: Chapter 65: Base Upgrades and Keep ago
B2: Chapter 66: System's Displeasure and Mu's Arrival ago
B2: Chapter 67: Negotiations and It's Not Over Yet ago
B2: Chapter 68: Rimmy's Fighting Resolve and Unbridled Rage ago
B2: Chapter 69: Morte's Will and Racial Adjustments ago
B2: Chapter 70: Teasing Maddy and Expedition to Middletown ago
B2: Chapter 71: Lich Stats and Daz's Beginning ago
B2: Chapter 72: Teleportation Relay and Ellie's Request ago
B2: Chapter 73: Advice and Golden Tickets ago
B2: Chapter 74: System's Attention and Esper Abilities ago
B2: Chapter 75: Daz's Abilities and Ho Ran ago
B2: Chapter 76: Big Bo and Golf Game ago
B2: Chapter 77: Charts and Daz's Counteroffer ago
B2: Chapter 78: Merit Points and Uriel ago
B2: Chapter 79: Fiona's Nerves and The Keep's Rooms ago
B2: Chapter 80: The Scottish Full-English and The Lottery Winner ago
Madison Artwork ago
B2: Chapter 81: System's Description Blockade and Bob's Growth ago
B2: Chapter 82: Bob's Words and Mu's Crimes ago
B2: Chapter 83: Daz's Crimes and A Clone's Worries ago
Book 2 Epilogue: A Thank You and First-time Lust ago
Book 3 Prologue: Venice and Plans ago
B3: Chapter 1: Grave Butchering and Completed Records ago
B3: Chapter 2: Rimmy's Fans and Sally ago
B3: Chapter 3: Steven's Approaches and Poor Timing ago
B3: Chapter 4: Private School and Racial Change ago
B3: Chapter 5: Holy Cross and Gambit's Signet ago
B3: Chapter 6: Alien Laptop and Dice Set ago
B3: Chapter 7: Translation Skill and Fighting Ring ago
B3: Chapter 8: Champion of Quarterstaves and Test of Strength ago
B3: Chapter 9: Mu's Cardboard and Madison's New Worries ago
B3: Chapter 10: Data Tracker and The General Auction's Start ago
B3: Chapter 11: Pheldorapod and A VR Capsule ago
B3: Chapter 12: Achievements and Cold Reunion ago
B3: Chapter 13: Red Lightning and Davido's Joy ago
B3: Chapter 14: Skill Cap and Successful Cracking ago
B3: Chapter 15: Class Upgrade Token and Larry Billard ago
B3: Chapter 16: Nearing Level Three and Merit Ranking ago
B3: Chapter 17: Slot Machine Shakedown and Split-consciousness ago
B3: Chapter 18: Winning Streak and Strange Family ago
B3: Chapter 19: A Request For Crusher and Hsiao-han ago
B3: Chapter 20: War and Total Evolvers ago
B3: Chapter 21: Ruler Auction and Final Item ago
B3: Chapter 22: Pheldorapod's Considerations and 25-Million ago
B3: Chapter 23: Class Change and Existing Skill Upgrades ago
B3: Chapter 24: Crystal and Rimmy Gets Some Upgrades ago
B3: Chapter 25: Upgraded Classes and Friends Fighting ago
B3: Chapter 26: Contracting Gems and Third King ago
B3: Chapter 27: Rimmy's Growing Fanbase and Flying Trial ago
B3: Chapter 28: Flying Results and Sword Mastery Challenge ago
B3: Chapter 29: New Promise and Weakness Trial ago
B3: Chapter 30: Krishan Ladakh and Updated Ranking ago
B3: Chapter 31: Worldeater and Maddy's Success ago
B3: Chapter 32: Mr Barrier and Secret Override ago
B3: Chapter 33: Pala's Determination and Hamson The Spade ago
B3: Chapter 34: Merit Star and Baggage ago
B3: Chapter 35: Tokens Galore and Merit Point Averages ago
B3: Chapter 36: Unfortunate Andre and The Second Lot ago
B3: Chapter 37: Crusher's Success and Xiao Meimei ago
B3: Chapter 38: Grand Proclamation and Headache ago
Daz Art + Rose Art ago
B3: Chapter 39: Champion of Cooking and Excruciating Pain ago
B3: Chapter 40: Battle Axe and Rose's Warning ago
B3: Chapter 41: A Father's Twisted Pride and The Auction's Conclusion ago
B3: Chapter 42: Shift Locking and Naming ago
B3: Chapter 43: Passives and Pouting Madison ago
B3: Chapter 44: William's Loyalty and Third Set of Walls ago
B3: Chapter 45: Welcome Speech and B-ranked Base ago
B3: Chapter 46: Different Universes and City Choosing ago
B3: Chapter 47: Fort Sky and GriD CrosS ago
Fort Sky Art + Crusher Art ago
B3: Chapter 48: Crusher's Threat and Rose's Visit to The Station ago
B3: Chapter 49: Visit to Turtle Island and Talks of Tea ago
B3: Chapter 50: Pool and Madison's Status ago
B3: Chapter 51: Alteration and Fiona's Struggle ago
B3: Chapter 52: Praying and Status Tweaking ago
B3: Chapter 53: New Quest and Choice Selections ago
B3: Chapter 54: Bei Fan and Secret Observers ago
Early Davido Hamilio Art + Minor Announcement ago
B3: Chapter 55: Scavengers and Jeremy ago
B3: Chapter 56: Mirroring and Soul Independence ago
B3: Chapter 57: Sovereigns and Candy ago
B3: Chapter 58: Daz's Solution and Useless Gloves ago
B3: Chapter 59: Amanda & Alek and Airship Engineer ago
B3: Chapter 60: Promises and The Loser Fool ago
B3: Chapter 61: Daz's Offer and Evil Ruffians ago
B3: Chapter 62: Resurrection and Spirit Formation ago
B3: Chapter 63: Soul Corrosion and First Official Complaint ago
B3: Chapter 64: Idris' Upset and Madison's Hug ago
B3: Chapter 65: Rose's Plans and Big Bo's Second Contract Offer ago
B3: Chapter 66: Talks of Loans and Bank Upgrades ago
B3: Chapter 67: Fighting Clones and Personalities ago
B3: Chapter 68: Cycle Three Starts and Goals ago
Hsiao-Han Artwork + Announcement Reminder ago
B3: Chapter 69: Crusher's Loyalty and Greg's Decision ago
B3: Chapter 70: SSS-ranked Item Token Usage and Tough Choice ago
B3: Chapter 71: Racing Ridomochi and Estranged Espers ago
B3: Chapter 72: Wheelchairs and Dormitory ago
B3: Chapter 73: Taxation Plans and Greg's First Orders ago
B3: Chapter 74: Waterford's New Buildings and Argument ago
B3: Chapter 75: Avulaway's Desperation and Mythical Cities ago
B3: Chapter 76: Alphorians and Explosive Surprise ago
B3: Chapter 77: Delve Into The Deep and Madison's Worries ago
B3: Chapter 78: Message From Rose and Illuminating Helmet ago
B3: Chapter 79: Tackling The Illusion and The Sword In The Sea ago
B3: Chapter 80: Genocidal Request and Hatred ago
B3: Chapter 81: Mofolo's Fate and The Sorry State of Atlantis ago
B3: Chapter 82: Fishy Smell and Return to Waterford ago
B3: Chapter 83: Unexpected Reunion and Accidents Happen ago
B3: Chapter 84: Accidents Definitely Happen and Early Negotiations Over Dinner ago
B3: Chapter 85: Questioning Lyle and Itchy Face ago
B3: Chapter 86: A Week of Progress and Visit to Tokyo ago
B3: Chapter 87: Meeting an Emperor and Duel of Threats ago
B3: Chapter 88: Councillor Rimmy and Aila's Change ago
B3: Chapter 89: Shovel Arts Ranks Up and Plans Are Moved Into Motion ago
B3: Chapter 90: Sleepy Maddy and Meeting Las Vegas' Mayor ago
B3: Chapter 91: Brother of Luck and Sandy's Intuition ago
B3: Chapter 92: At The Roll of a Dice and Who Among You? ago
B3: Chapter 93: Rose's Worry and Aston's Unheard Pleas ago
B3: Chapter 94: Firefighters and Lunatics ago
B3: Chapter 95: Ordering The Clones and Nuclear Threat ago
B3: Chapter 96: A Meeting of War Leaders and Terrorists ago
B3: Chapter 97: Lieutenant Anders' Honesty and A Last-ditch Effort ago
B3: Chapter 98: War Rewards and Mu's Disliking of Jim ago
B3: Chapter 99: California's Majority Citizen Ruler and Change of Future Plans ago
Book 3: Epilogue: Criminal Punishment and A Kingdom's True Founding ago
Book 4: Prologue: True Faith and Symbolic Departure ago
B4: Chapter 1: Prison Life and Onward to Gold ago
B4: Chapter 2: 20 Trials and Expedition Camp ago
B4: Chapter 3: Pala's Faith and The First Trial ago
B4: Chapter 4: Observers and Eyes ago
B4: Chapter 5: Trial Completion and Ak & Tek's Offer ago
B4: Chapter 6: First Permanence and Stars ago
B4: Chapter 7: Quest Completion and El Dorado's Temples ago
B4: Chapter 8: Alexandrite's Abilities and Singing Contest Winner ago
B4: Chapter 9: Mother and Kingdom-wide Progress ago
B4: Chapter 10: Scout Reports and The Ethics of Respect ago
B4: Chapter 11: Friendly Citizens and Crumbling New York ago
B4: Chapter 12: Crusher's Goal and Embers ago
B4: Chapter 13: Brother and Birthday Presents ago
B4: Chapter 14: Impending Awakening and Revisited Memory ago
B4: Chapter 15: Failure and Promised Reward ago
B4: Chapter 16: Oily Smell and A New Guild ago
B4: Chapter 17: Master Merit's Ambition and Quiz ago
B4: Chapter 18: Exam Results and Talks of Surnames ago
B4: Chapter 19: Silver and Visiting Mu ago
B4: Chapter 20: Duel of Reapers and Shúzuì's Development ago
B4: Chapter 21: Suffering and Discussing Godly Skills ago
B4: Chapter 22: A Week and Total Merit Sum ago
Book 4 Chapter 23: First Proper Permanence and Instinctual Alarm ago
B4: Chapter 24: Merciless Ruler and Eye-Opening ago
B4: Chapter 25: Leaving Las Vegas and Arriving at New York ago
El Dorado Artwork ago
B4: Chapter 26: Emma's Condition and The Fearless ago
B4: Chapter 27: Thoughts on Ranks and A 'Chat' With Master Sorola ago
B4: Chapter 28: Deceleration Deliberation and Truth Shines ago
B4: Chapter 29: Unclear Future and Regarding Tutors ago
B4: Chapter 30: City Life and Selfishness ago
B4: Chapter 31: A Clingy Maddy and Moustache Meets Tank ago
B4: Chapter 32: The King's Speech and Useful ago
B4: Chapter 33: First Demonstration and Summoning Price ago
B4: Chapter 34: Inclination and Dancing ago
B4: Chapter 35: Feeling Timeline and Unwavering Acceptance ago
B4: Chapter 36: Vanessa's Thoughts and Sandy's Request ago
B4: Chapter 37: Bloodline Experiments and A Father's Adoration ago
B4: Chapter 38: Earnest Hope and Bitter Resentment ago
B4: Chapter 39: A Week and Eastward Conquest ago
B4: Chapter 40: Hsiao-han's Weapon and Clarity ago
B4: Chapter 41: Promise to Hsiao-han and Diplomatic Arrival ago
B4: Chapter 42: Intentions Made Clear and Meeting The Monster ago
B4: Chapter 43: Pact and Russian Crusher ago
B4: Chapter 44: Aegles and Hugs Fix ago
B4: Chapter 45: Jasper Throne and Enemy ago
B4: Chapter 46: Specific and Par ago
B4: Chapter 47: Warning and Loyalty ago
B4: Chapter 48: Temple and Adya ago
B4: Chapter 49: Questions and Seed ago
B4: Chapter 50: Aren and 57-Pages ago
B4: Chapter 51: Killer Arrow and Tracker ago
B4: Chapter 52: Daz's Message and Mofolo's Sea ago
B4: Chapter 53: Training Internal Energy and Love ago
B4: Chapter 54: Request to Meet and Fighting Urges ago
B4: Chapter 55: Family Motives and City Collector ago
B4: Chapter 56: Surrounded and Bad Mood ago
B4: Chapter 57: The Emperor's Decision and Rebuilding Begins ago
B4: Chapter 58: Rimmy and Seizure ago
Madison Christmas Artwork ago
B4: Chapter 59: Cleared Debt and Sooner or Later ago
B4: Chapter 60: Growth and High King ago
B4: Chapter 61: Settling Kings and To Korea ago
B4: Chapter 62: Hunters and Grandparent ago
B4: Chapter 63: 39 Siblings and Future Vision Shenanigans ago
B4: Chapter 64: Contracting Silence and Date Plans ago
B4: Chapter 65: Dinner and Daryl Crowthorne ago
B4: Chapter 66: Stars and Mmm ago
B4: Chapter 67: News and Press Conference ago
B4: Chapter 68: Grandparents' Advice and Permanence Predicament ago
B4: Chapter 69: Ashborne and Unexpected 'Guest' ago
B4: Chapter 70: The Priest and Explaining To Do ago
B4: Chapter 71: Trial and Regrets ago
B4: Chapter 72: Semester Two Begins and Goals ago
B4: Chapter 73: Gag Order and Altros' New Letter ago
B4: Chapter 74: Muscle Density and North ago
B4: Chapter 75: Summons and Token Usage ago
B4: Chapter 76: War and Carrier ago
B4: Chapter 77: Gunshots and Gunshot ago
Book 4 Chapter 78: Cardinal and Confirmation ago
B4: Chapter 79: The King's Orders and Passing Souls ago
B4: Chapter 80: Contemplation and Press Conference ago
B4: Chapter 81: Mythical Exposure and Emperors Reacting ago
B4: Chapter 82: Tears and Empathy ago
B4: Chapter 83: Children and Gloomy ago
B4: Chapter 84: Wonderland Plans and Tamer Search ago
B4: Chapter 85: The Twins' Class and Mu's Counsel ago
B4: Chapter 86: Skill List and Telepathic Conversation ago
B4: Chapter 87: New Skills and Emotional Pressure ago
B4: Chapter 88: Mercenary Mission and A Door ago
B4: Chapter 89: Truth and Might ago
B4: Chapter 90: Victory and Trouble With The Trolley, Eh? ago
B4: Chapter 91: Observing a Monarch and Michiru ago
B4: Chapter 92: Riddle and Qunjara ago

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Setskar
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

My main issues with the novel are the MC's decisions on how to use his points, the way he acts, his personality, and the nonsense that goes throughout the whole story.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 I understood that you got quite offended by my review; it was never my intention to offend you, so I apologize for that. I tried to soften my message to be less offensive and added a few things I liked in the story, good luck.

Inferi
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

First off, the intent of this review is primarily to analyse what I did not like about the story as I enjoyed a good deal of it and would like to see the author improve. Also understand that my only credentials are a healthy addiction to books and my own views. I am on chapter 40. This review contains spoilers.

That said, what truly kills this story is character development and world balance. 

By 'WORLD BALANCE' I mean the degree that the rules of the story's world affect everyone else compared to the degree they affect the main character. I.e. How much plot armor the m.c. has. Mostly, this imbalance is displayed through the distribution of merit points. For example, the mc constantly attracts the attention of gods which nets him about 50k merit points every time. This is fine by itself, but he usually catches interest of said gods by doing very little. The god of madness, for example, is interested in him because he talks to a clearly intelligent and actively communicative golem. This is a problem because, as of ch.40 no one else has caught the attention of gods. One dude stabbed a wooden dummy until exhaustion and uses a syringe as his main weapon not to mention his fanatical loyalty and the god of madness doesn't care. 

Another issue along the same vein is that the 40 survivors lead by the red haired lady "just barely" had enough merit points to buy the zombie cure at a cost of 1500. As evidenced by Ger's merit screen, simply surviving for 12 hours is a reward of 3000. Not only had those survivors lasted 24 hours, but they had done so under constant strain and even successfully killed several of the monsters. The red haired lady alone should have had thousands of points simply from extended resistance of the zombie virus while fighting zombies AND leading survivors the entire time. 

The issue is that Dez's returns indicate that the system is incredibly generous with merit point and rewards basically everything, so it SHOULD be giving a lot of points to a lot of survivors. In a world where you can buy a permanent summon with enough strength to tear a bank vault door off its hinges for a paltry 7k, that means almost every survivor should be basically at Dez's level or at least close and have their own unique powers. They are not, and do not.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT is the other major failing of this story. It has many tie-ins with the issue of balance, but many characters have little to no depth. I think this is perfectly demonstrated by our main man Rimmy because he is actually VERY WELL DEVELOPED at this point in the story. RImmy is a huge crystal golem with a couple of slits for a face. Despite being completely unable to speak, Rimmy demonstrates through casual actions like giving the mic a thumbs up not only how he feels about complicated issues like murder, but also reveals that he both emphasizes with the mc's pain AND is familiar with social norms on how to cheer up a friend. It's brilliant. Add to that the novel idea of using identification to give characters a quick backstory and we basically know everything about a seven foot mute statue. If every side character was like that it'd be perfect.

Unfortunately, many of the other side characters feel forced. Ger, for example, at one point looks at his daughters interacting and says something along the lines of 'she likes to tease others but can't handle being teased herself'. This is a violation of that old adage 'show don't tell'. We'd already seen the daughter blushing at being teased so the information was useless. It would be like if Ger had seen Rimmy give Daz a thumbs up and monologued 'he is supportive of his friend'. 

As a quick last example of the issue with character depth is the scene with Daz throwing the red haired woman into a door. The woman later forgives Daz immediately after he apologizes with some line like who couldn't forgive you in this situation? I apologize for being blunt but that makes absolutely no sense. Imagine if you were thrown into a door hard enough to take half your health. In the real world that might be equivalent to being grabbed by the hair and thrown hard enough to break ribs and perhaps cause internal bleeding. Would you just hop up and say 'oh no worries it happens every Sunday can we all go stay at your place?' Of course not. This woman is in charge of not only her own saftey but also 40 other people. She wouldn't risk those lives for some clearly violent stranger simply because he killed some mons. Daz had shown his strength so maybe she wouldn't demand compensation but she would be far more likely to simply thank Daz for his help then attempt to find he own base with the other survivors, especially since they apparently had someone with a skill to reinforce barricades. Why risk their lives with some apparently insane, violent stranger? On top of that, why would 40 other people want to follow someone who introduced himself by nearly killing their leader? These aren't a bunch of goblins who only follow the strongest but a scared group of day to day citizens who already had some semblance of confidence they could defend themselves? 

overall I did like your story and especially in how thorough and creative you were with the system I was pleased, but I need more depth to my side characters yo.

 

EDIT:: I've read past chapter 40 a bit and was pleased to see that my review was somewhat premature. The author does much better on world balance than I thought.

jpat1988
Overall

When I read the first few chapters of this story it was pretty fun. And I was really looking forward to how it would develop and how Daz would adapt to his new world.

But as the story goes on I am starting to have the same issues with the MC that I do with the MC's of the other storys by this author. They dont react in a way that I feel a real person would in the same situation. And while it could just be that the MC is very unique.... I just dont see it.

Normally when reading a story of any kind I want to identify something with the MC. Have some kind of connection. And this story just doesnt have that connection.

A story to read while waiting for others to get updated but not something I would go out of my way to recommend to anyone. Definitely not something I would Patreon with how hard he seems to push it.

 

mdscorpazz
Overall

Fun world, with a illogical MC.

World building is good, characters are decent.

MC makes little sense, is inconsistant and illogical with little justification. He starts as a normal guy with social issues who is a bit unstable due to the stressful situation. He makes some illogical and foolish decisions afterwich the author explains he was a meglomeniacal sociopath bent on world domination all along.

Could be fixed with a rewrite to make the character more consistent.

Zethuron
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Annoying first book, but gets much better

Generally i would say the premise is not much different from the other Apocalyptic litRPG novels on this site, but it can hold on its own.

The story so far has been fine, through there were moments in book 1 and 2 that i did not like reading at all, and those books could be improved a lot, the later books have shown much improvement over the first 2, that it does even out. Through im waiting for the most likely incoming rewrite to form a final opinion on the first 2 books.

The characters, oh god, here we have the same problem as with the story. The MC at first is fine and quick at adapting to the Apocalypse and establishing his base, but later on his personality takes a large turn for the worse and near the end of book 1 the MC made a choice that really annoyed me. Took some time, but since then it got better, althrough that moment still remains as a problem for whoever is going to read this novel. The other characters are decent, but could be improved on althrough they are nowhere near as bad as the MC was near the end of book 1.

The writing of this story has been overall of a good quality, so no problems on that front althrough word choice could be better and some small mistakes fixed.

 

Keep writing like you are now, you have improved much since the start of this story, and please do keep improving since later chapters are so much better to read than the early ones.

 

MrHrulgin
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A great concept failed by poor character and plot.

I like the world, I like the way that the competition expands and the fight to protect the population while fighting your way higher in the rankings.

 

I can't stand the people. The personalities are one-note, never getting any deeper than a single character trait and shifting without any real explanation. 

 

There's never significant tension. Challenges arise only to be immediately crushed, and by a little bit into the second book (where the author said it would get better) the protagonist has mind control powers, the best base in the world, is super strong, has ladies falling over themselves around him, men worshipping him... it's wish fulfillment that never goes anywhere. "Oh, there's a dungeon? Let me just waltz in and crush it, no problems!" "Oh, there's a rival base nearby? Let me mind control the leader there!"

 

There is neither buildup nor payoff, and I'm done.

patlican
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Fun story, bad characters

The premise is good and the story is fun, but all of the characters feel half-assed and they don't feel like real people. Grammar is pretty good with few errors.

If you like litrpg, you're likely to enjoy this, just don't go into it expecting too much.

Evrin
Overall

Everyone likes apocalypse stories

Fun read, if still a bit short at this point.

I look forward to future chapters.

...

...

Even if the MC's name does make me feel like it should belong to a muppet.

Darenzooo~~ 

Not that I'm really criticizing. It's seriously hard to come up with names that are somewhat original.

I mean, I read this one story with a MC named Randidly.I couldn't help but think that the poor kid's school life must have been hell.  

*Stares hard at random space*

That's right, I'm talking about you Ghosthound.

The_Gentelman
Overall

Good story, but not for everyone

Trying to avoid spoilers

Alright there are two big reasons I stopped reading this story shortly after getting to book 2. Upfront this is a pretty good book, it has some rough edges however I have noticed an increase in quality. Firstly the military is just... wrong. While it’s probably not the authors fault since most civilians barely know anything about the military, but because I know a great deal about the military reading their parts is like having a migraine and a massive cringe along with wanting to strangle something all at once for me. Again not really the authors fault it’s just very far off the actual real world U.S. military. Secondly I despise the mc’s character. This is not due to bad writing or the mc being an idiot ( he made some mistakes but he ain’t stupid). It is because his character and actions make me genuinly disgusted with him. Many other readers really like the guy and that’s ok, but to me he is someone that once I understood what kind of person he is I would never to try to befriend. I won’t put any spoilers since the military one is already one to many but I just can’t root for the guy. I wish this story and its author good luck but I will not be sticking around to see how it goes.

OxenThunder
Overall

I really like the system/base building setup you have going on. Everything else is pretty bad

Spoiler: Spoiler