Shovels In Spades

My main issue with the novel is the MC's decisions of how to use his points, the way he acts, his personality and the nonsense that goes throughout the whole story.

 I understood that you got quite offended by my review, it was never my intention to offend you so i apologize for that. I tried to soften my message to be less offensive and added a few things I actually liked in the story, good luck.

When I read the first few chapters of this story it was pretty fun. And I was really looking forward to how it would develop and how Daz would adapt to his new world.

But as the story goes on I am starting to have the same issues with the MC that I do with the MC's of the other storys by this author. They dont react in a way that I feel a real person would in the same situation. And while it could just be that the MC is very unique.... I just dont see it.

Normally when reading a story of any kind I want to identify something with the MC. Have some kind of connection. And this story just doesnt have that connection.

A story to read while waiting for others to get updated but not something I would go out of my way to recommend to anyone. Definitely not something I would Patreon with how hard he seems to push it.

Fun read, if still a bit short at this point.

I look forward to future chapters.

...

...

Even if the MC's name does make me feel like it should belong to a muppet.

Darenzooo~~ 

Not that I'm really criticizing. It's seriously hard to come up with names that are somewhat original.

I mean, I read this one story with a MC named Randidly.I couldn't help but think that the poor kid's school life must have been hell.  

*Stares hard at random space*

That's right, I'm talking about you Ghosthound.

First off, the intent of this review is primarily to analyse what I did not like about the story as I enjoyed a good deal of it and would like to see the author improve. Also understand that my only credentials are a healthy addiction to books and my own views. I am on chapter 40. This review contains spoilers.

That said, what truly kills this story is character development and world balance. 

By 'WORLD BALANCE' I mean the degree that the rules of the story's world affect everyone else compared to the degree they affect the main character. I.e. How much plot armor the m.c. has. Mostly, this imbalance is displayed through the distribution of merit points. For example, the mc constantly attracts the attention of gods which nets him about 50k merit points every time. This is fine by itself, but he usually catches interest of said gods by doing very little. The god of madness, for example, is interested in him because he talks to a clearly intelligent and actively communicative golem. This is a problem because, as of ch.40 no one else has caught the attention of gods. One dude stabbed a wooden dummy until exhaustion and uses a syringe as his main weapon not to mention his fanatical loyalty and the god of madness doesn't care. 

Another issue along the same vein is that the 40 survivors lead by the red haired lady "just barely" had enough merit points to buy the zombie cure at a cost of 1500. As evidenced by Ger's merit screen, simply surviving for 12 hours is a reward of 3000. Not only had those survivors lasted 24 hours, but they had done so under constant strain and even successfully killed several of the monsters. The red haired lady alone should have had thousands of points simply from extended resistance of the zombie virus while fighting zombies AND leading survivors the entire time. 

The issue is that Dez's returns indicate that the system is incredibly generous with merit point and rewards basically everything, so it SHOULD be giving a lot of points to a lot of survivors. In a world where you can buy a permanent summon with enough strength to tear a bank vault door off its hinges for a paltry 7k, that means almost every survivor should be basically at Dez's level or at least close and have their own unique powers. They are not, and do not.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT is the other major failing of this story. It has many tie-ins with the issue of balance, but many characters have little to no depth. I think this is perfectly demonstrated by our main man Rimmy because he is actually VERY WELL DEVELOPED at this point in the story. RImmy is a huge crystal golem with a couple of slits for a face. Despite being completely unable to speak, Rimmy demonstrates through casual actions like giving the mic a thumbs up not only how he feels about complicated issues like murder, but also reveals that he both emphasizes with the mc's pain AND is familiar with social norms on how to cheer up a friend. It's brilliant. Add to that the novel idea of using identification to give characters a quick backstory and we basically know everything about a seven foot mute statue. If every side character was like that it'd be perfect.

Unfortunately, many of the other side characters feel forced. Ger, for example, at one point looks at his daughters interacting and says something along the lines of 'she likes to tease others but can't handle being teased herself'. This is a violation of that old adage 'show don't tell'. We'd already seen the daughter blushing at being teased so the information was useless. It would be like if Ger had seen Rimmy give Daz a thumbs up and monologued 'he is supportive of his friend'. 

As a quick last example of the issue with character depth is the scene with Daz throwing the red haired woman into a door. The woman later forgives Daz immediately after he apologizes with some line like who couldn't forgive you in this situation? I apologize for being blunt but that makes absolutely no sense. Imagine if you were thrown into a door hard enough to take half your health. In the real world that might be equivalent to being grabbed by the hair and thrown hard enough to break ribs and perhaps cause internal bleeding. Would you just hop up and say 'oh no worries it happens every Sunday can we all go stay at your place?' Of course not. This woman is in charge of not only her own saftey but also 40 other people. She wouldn't risk those lives for some clearly violent stranger simply because he killed some mons. Daz had shown his strength so maybe she wouldn't demand compensation but she would be far more likely to simply thank Daz for his help then attempt to find he own base with the other survivors, especially since they apparently had someone with a skill to reinforce barricades. Why risk their lives with some apparently insane, violent stranger? On top of that, why would 40 other people want to follow someone who introduced himself by nearly killing their leader? These aren't a bunch of goblins who only follow the strongest but a scared group of day to day citizens who already had some semblance of confidence they could defend themselves? 

overall I did like your story and especially in how thorough and creative you were with the system I was pleased, but I need more depth to my side characters yo.

EDIT:: I've read past chapter 40 a bit and was pleased to see that my review was somewhat premature. The author does much better on world balance than I thought.

Enjoyable and a monumental improvement over his other works.

The premise is good and the story is fun, but all of the characters feel half-assed and they don't feel like real people. Grammar is pretty good with few errors.

If you like litrpg, you're likely to enjoy this, just don't go into it expecting too much.

Grammar: It is good but could use some polish. 

Style: The writing style is good but the dialogue is subpar so far and could be improved.

Story: Has a good premise and works well enough. (Gods' interest might be a little OP but that is what story requires.)

Character: Some characters feel like a papercut. Two dimensional if you will and could be improved.

Overall: It is a good story that could be enjoyed on boring nights or days. 

Review title says it all.  Sometimes you just want to read some brain candy.  The real world is filled with complications and mirky grey areas.  You don't always want the same thing in your entertainment.

Thankyou for providing some pure unadulterated entertainment.  This has been added to my book shelf and I wil read it as you write it.  You seem to have a good grasp of the genre. THanks for your effort.

I'll be honest, I'm no English major so my take on things is just that...my opinion with no "hard knowledge" other than being addicted to reading for over 40 years. That said, I really enjoy this story.  The main character and major supporting characters are not what you'd expect from the "standard template" of MC's. Just like everyone IRL has their own quirks and faults so too do these characters though they seem magnified if you will because of the situation and the focus being on them. Think of how you would react if you were placed in the same situation, would you calmly rationalize your way through an apocalypse or would you sometimes go with your "gut" or first impulse due to shock and having to adopt a whole new world view?

Others have complained about the pacing, my view is ... so what? I'm not reading this story in a race to get to the next part. As long as the story interests me and keeps my attention I don't care if it covers a few days or a few years. I'm not cramming for a final here, I'm being entertained. If the story stops entertaining me then I'll simply stop following it and move on to something else.

We are getting hours of entertainment here for free and these authors are spending their own time putting their work out there to see if we like it. I'm all for encouraging them to continue. If you don't like something make a comment on the chapter that contained it. It's actually surprising to me how many authors personally address just about all their comments and this author is one of them.

Anyway that's my two cents. It's an interesting story with a "fun" take on the system, good main characters with quirks and hang-ups like any of us (but magnified) which will likely get better fleshed out as the story progresses, a cool mix of genres (fantasy, current Earth, sci/fi) that surprisingly works well and an author that responds to their readers.

Pros:

Story is an interesting concept.

Characters tend to be relatively plausible. MC is interesting. Author is attempting to add more nuance to other characters, including their motivations and thoughts.

Grammar and spelling are good. Overall I applaud the author for actually ensuring the sentences are readable and polished, something lacking in many others.

Cons:

Story has at least one plot-hole I spotted. Although, it is possible that hole may end up being a plot point later on.

The author has been trying to convey side character thoughts in order to add addition frames of reference to the plot as well as to flesh out their personalities. Unfortunately these internal monologues are a bit exaggerated, like an anime character. An example would be how the military grunts think or speak about their general. I think the author had the right idea to attempt this, but this dialogue / monologue needs a little attention.

Below addresses the perceived plot-hole, potentially spoiler issues, as well as addressing another review’s issues.