13th Soul- Book 1 The God Slayer

by church13

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Drama Fantasy Female Lead Magic School Life Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

13th Soul

        In the beginning, there was nothing but darkness. Through someone's hands that all changed and the universe began. Fate was going as planned and the first twelve souls of the universe were given their paths to be followed and set free into the universe. Before the other normal souls could be set free as well something or someone interfered. A soul different from all the rest was set free. It was a soul free from fate and free from anyone's plans. This little soul was The Thirteenth Soul.

 


Book 1 The God Slayer

        In a young world in the young universe, there was the Lemuria kingdom. On one day the first princess was born but had lifeless eyes and was not breathing. Her parents were about to give up when she started to breathe again. This is the story of a little soul that took its first journey as Eva Lemuria The God Slayer.

 


Hi everyone I am an amateur writer who's been reading multiple stories on RoyalRoad for awhile now. My story is something I've thought of for awhile now so I've finally decided to actually put my ideas down. I'm fully open to constructive criticism. Grammar is not my best point so go easy on me there. 

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church13

church13

Secret ruler of the world

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InsaneChemist
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I do not like writing reviews, but this story has none. It deserves better, so I am going to do my best. Spoilers in spoiler tags.

Overall, I enjoyed the story. I read the whole thing (250ish pages) in 3 hours. I don't really want to compare it to the AAA titles on this site, but it is certainly better than 90% of the stories. Give it a shot. I reserve a 5/5 for stories I cannot find a single flaw, but it's good enough that a 4/5 is too low. 

Story:

So far, the story is interesting. It flows fairly well, and avoids the trap of getting bogged down in the young years.

Spoiler: Story

This is not a happy story. It has very effectively kept my interest though, and I binge-read the entire thing in a few hours, so I give it a 4/5. 

 Style:

This story is primarily first person, with occasional viewpoints from other characters. It flows well, and has a consistent pace. I don't know that it is NYT bestseller quality, and I am not an English Lit. professor, but I didn't notice any flaws. 5/5

Grammar:

I cannot stand spelling and grammar mistakes. It drives me crazy. Luckily, this story is well written. Few, if any mis-spelled words, no subsituted homonyms/homophones, capitalization/punctuation are on point. 5/5

Character:

Right now, the characters are kinda flat. The main character has depth, but pretty much everyone else is a cardboard cutout.

Spoiler: Character

I give it a 3.5/5.  

 

 

Ruxel
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I like the world and the situations

 

I really, really, like the idea of the story, I just wish you may sometime fix the execution. Please break down your paragraphs to a more readable lenght. Maybe try third person?. I like the world builing and the variety of characters, as well as the situations: I think writing first person on many characters is difficult as it’s hard to give them all their own personalities and voices. Still, I like the story.

qtru
  • Overall Score

The writing got better over the course of the novel, but all the characters are so lacking in maturity. It doesn't help that the mc is a hate filled person full of self-loathing with an unhealthy obsession with family. 

All in all, the novel doesn't make for an enjoyable read.

GriefTG
  • Overall Score

I have no words for this

haaaa.... fuck this mc im so done.

Their has been absolutly no character develpoment at all in these 51 chapter and i have pointed this out before but finally I... give up. This mc is the most evil and uncaring person I have ever seen and their have been plenty of chances to have her grow as a character but no at this point her personality is akin to a clitche bully in an otome game. Their is ZERO reson why she should be liked by anyone and she wonders why people dont like her or a afraid of her? It because she's a massive bitch theirs no other way to put it. You make it seem like shes the victim because of shes an outcast but no! if I was a mob character in this story I would never in a million years be friends with her and its not because of her hair or her eyes or anything else its because she is a horrible person who does not deserve redemption or sympathy in anyway. The only reasons anyone talks to her is because they have to or their part of her crazy yandere family. Hell the dragon girl probably wouldn't want to deal with her if it wasn't for her deep sense of regret and her actually being a decent person.

And for all you "edgy" people out their jumping to her defence. SHE IS NOT NORMAL. Killing people without a second thought is the definition of crazy and a psychopath.

I have nothing against a evil main character but this author trys to play it off that the main character is the victim(What a joke). The people close to her act like shes the victim and not like what she really is, so forgive me with agreeing with the brother as he seems like the only sensible person in that family and god knows how they've ran the kingdom without it crashing and burning into mindless chaos by now

So I think i'm officially dropping this its just not my cup of tea.