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Lights flickered with an electric buzz, illuminating two armchairs. Giant white pillars held up the sky, and rows of empty shelves ran between them. The marble floor made cold shivers run up my legs.

The sight was familiar, not just because it reminded me of the House of Wisdom and the room at the back of the library of Fenbay. I’d been here before, and that experience had not ended pleasantly. I walked over to the armchair on the right but didn’t sit down. Instead, I glanced at the figure sitting in the other armchair.

It looked like a floating blob of white noise but something was different this time. The blob wasn’t completely shapeless, it branched out in five directions, making what may have been four limbs and a head.

Garbled noises came out of the figure, making the marble floor ripple, the pillars shake, and the lights flicker. The noises ended. I stared at the figure, trying to discern a pattern in its surface. However, staring at it made my head hurt.

One of its protrusions pointed to the armchair I was standing beside. I accepted the offer and sat down. The protrusion on top of the figure moved up and down, as if it was nodding. However, the movement left afterimages in its wake, and I averted my eyes because the sight made me queasy.

Doing so made me notice the shelf in front of the armchairs. It was my shelf, with the Cannon standing on it. However, the Tempest hovered above the shelf, the way it did when I had used it during the chaos in Chart. It was frozen in place on the first page, which had nothing but the title of the book, and the author’s name on it.

In the corner of my eye, I saw the figure move its arm. The air rippled and white noise flooded my ears. I grit my teeth but my eyes stayed locked onto the Tempest. The first page lifted a little, fell back, and then flipped. Then the next page flipped. And the next. Then the next.

Pages fluttered until the back cover hit the final page. The Tempest was closed and it slowly sank until it nestled next to the Cannon on my shelf.

I gasped as a weight I didn’t know I had been shouldering, was lifted off me. The figure pointed at me and my vision dissolved into tiny particles buzzing around erratically. Some areas began to attract more particles and became denser. Those areas formed a vague outline that loosely resembled the figure in the armchair.

Then all the particles that weren’t a part of the outline rushed into the protrusion that seemed like the figure’s face. They continued to gather until they formed a roiling mass of particles so dense, they made a tiny black line on the figure’s face. The black line parted in two.

The figure spoke but as the words reached my ears, I was struck by an intense feeling of vertigo, and the particles that made up the figure dispersed. My vision stabilized for a moment, and I glimpsed the armchairs, the shelves, and the room before sinking backwards into the depths of the chair.

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About the author

WhoCares

Bio: Hi, I'm Who Cares? I write webfictions all day! Isn't that great?
Check out my other project, which is a magazine for webfictions: http://royalroadl.com/fiction/9812
Are you tired of stories that get dropped? Check out The Pledge! http://forum.royalroadl.com/showthread.php?tid=97007

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Timeseer2 @Timeseer2 ago

Interesting but please explain the damn magic system i do not understand it at all and possibly explain the terms that are being used you really need to do this soon, in my opinion at least so that in future action sequences the reader has some clue of how the MC does what she does

    WhoCares
    Author

    WhoCares @WhoCares ago

    The system will come in bits and pieces, and a lot of terms will probably not be explicitly explained. I dislike exposition and would much rather set up the world gradually by implying things.

    If you have any explicit questions, I'd be happy to answer them, but I would much rather you read this story as something slightly different from what usually comes up on RRl, at least with regards to exposition.

    For a quick example of the stylistic choice I've picked for this story, notice how I never say that Elenor is blind, but it'd be very difficult to not arrive at that conclusion yourself, considering the glasses, the tapping, and the lack of 'looking' she does.

    Thanks for reading! ^_^

      madghost @madghost ago

      Youre building a story where there is only caracters . The world building it too flawed. Youre presenting the story like the world alredy exists and we all know about it. So youre trying to make a mystery out of it.

      But thats only works with fan fiction. Your previous work also like that . A flawed world where the readers dont know anything about it. And you think we all know what youre talking about . We fucking dont know . What the world you talk about is. How many cities or gods a world have dosent count as world building. Its so frustrating trying understand what youre writing about. And some point you have to give up and go on with the story and there will never will be any explanation on what the hell happened.

      In re:write it was at least bearable since it have views from multiple persons. But this one is just shit

      I have to read till this chapter to understand that something was wrong with others calling the mc 'milady' . So i have to check the tags again to realise that the mc is a girl. No point in the fucking time in this novel did the mc intruduce herself as girl or anybody in the the matter. Are you kidding me . How hard is that . I hade suspicion when they called her 'milady' and all of them can be counted by one hand. How bad is it.

      And the way the character presents itself fills like a male caracter. So out of place . The mc is always on the run so with the flawed way you present your world it just feels meaning less.

      Since the answer will be a meaning less in the end.

      He isnt asking for you to feed him the data . He is asking so to present them in a way so we can understand what the hell is happening aside from the mc always running and fainting.

      Youre writing a novel where you know about everything you know about the world and youre presenting it to us like

      Heres a caracter .he in this world. He is in this world . He always runs and faints. And somewhere along the line you realise the mc isnt he ita a she.

      Its frustrating to read your novel.

      Your novels are like a new language where you understand everything but we dont since we dont even get to know which alphabet is which. And which one exists which dont.

      WhoCares
      Author

      WhoCares @WhoCares ago

      I usually don't respond to criticism this way but I thought I'd mention that the misunderstanding of the MC's gender is clearly a misreading on your part. The MC's gender is mentioned several times and the pronouns used to refer to her are all she/her/hers pronouns. You are right that this is a character driven story, not one driven by setting (as is often the case with fantasy stories) but that's just how it is.

      And uh, there's no polite way to say this, but you need to read more non-webnovel stories because this stuff should not be this hard to follow, lol.