Twilight over Arcania
- Traumatising content
A child dies in an alley, but it's not the end.
A mysterious entity known as Voice saves the child.
The child is reborn in a world named Arcania. A world where magic exists.
With a second chance at life, what will the child do in this strange new world?
Rebirth Arc (17 chapters - Complete)
Liara is reborn in the world of Arcania as a baby. She must grow, and learn of this strange new world.
Twilight Arc (Ongoing)
Liara makes a place of herself in the world and learns of Arcania and what will happen if she does not intervene.
What you can expect from this story
This novel is my take on the resurrection theme. I wanted to write a resurrection story with every element I liked about the theme, but without the elements I disliked. This is the story of Liara. MC's second go at life in a world where magic is real.
Arcania is not a nice place. It is my answer to the question "How would civilizations develop if powerful magic was real and widespread enough." I try hard to make a large consistent story in a large consistent world. There will be lots of characters and organizations built to various levels of depth. The story starts small and grows in size and scope.
I try to avoid plot armor as much as I can. You can expect at least MC to make it alive quite far in the story. It's the MC's story after all.
I spent time building the world before beginning with the writing itself. How continents are shaped, the evolutionary history of the species, the history of the world, the structure of the solar system, the rules of magic, etc... I have planned the whole overarching plot. I have a clear ending in mind.
There will be lots of battles and action. From large scale magic battles between immensely powerful beings to small skirmishes. Expect fights to be bloody. In Arcania, magic is just another set of law of physics. It's a natural phenomenon with clear rules to it. Gods exists, they are absolute being that see humanity like a human would see an ant. They are not just really powerful individuals. They act rarely, and indirectly.
What this story will not be
There will be no harem element and little to no romance or sex in this story.
There will be some comedy and comic relief, but Arcania in general is not a nice place.
Fights will be bloody, but I won't write gory descriptions.
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I like the story, it is interesting while not being totally over the top with some kind of evil demon lord or something like that.
The magic system is interesting, but we don't really get to know the details.
Which was a little disappointing especially since in the beginning when the MC started learning it was pretty well explained how she did it, but then she learned that her way of doing it is just the beginning/brute force way of doing it and then there is no follow-up explanation. I'm not sure if that is still to come but after that, the magic she uses is not explained only the effect that it has.
I really like the multiple personalities setup, is a good way to have a really smart and knowledgeable character without the ridiculous "he was a super genius before dying" setting.
The character is well made with the typical super smart toddler, but it still has some "she is still a little kid" moments that show the difference between her and own emotional development and all the theoretical knowledge she has from the multiple personalities.
The dialogues are great with the *actions* adding a whole lot of context and liveliness to interactions.
The grammar is ok with some mistakes in conjugation etc. but nothing major as well as a few typos (mixde lettres and missingspaces)
The only misgiving I have with the story is, that the progress of the MC has slowed down a whole lot in the second book of the story, with what feels like only about 1/4 to 1/3 of all chapters actually being of the MC.
And while I understand the desire to flesh out the world and show what else is happening I find most of these other character chapters very tiring and have started to just skim through them since I feel there is just a whole lot of unnecessary detail there and I would much rather see more of the development of the MC.
Which is going great in the few chapters where she is actually present.
Lastly, I would really like the author to fix the chapter list. I can understand that some people might like to be able to read up on certain things about the lore, especially when reading this periodically and not in one go like I just did.
But the fact that these lore chapters are last in the chapter list just messes everything up.
The fact that the latest chapter is in the middle of the list is very unintuitive, makes checking up on the progress of the fiction hard, and totally destroys the "continue reading" functionality as well as my own way of keeping track of "read" and "new" chapters.
So it would be really helpful if author could move those to the beginning of the chapter list (and maybe put them together a little bit so that they don't make up 1/3 of all chapters)
This is a very interesting story to read. There seem to be some complaints about the style, but I found that while it is a bit jarring initially, once I really got into the story, it wasn’t really difficult to follow the color scheme.
Style - This can be improved but in my opinion isn’t really detrimental to immersion once the story really gets going. 4/5
Story - The story itself is very interesting, it was one of those stories I couldn’t put down once I started, I sped through the whole thing in a few days. The plot is detailed and the setting is well developed. The author has definitely put in thought and effort into world-building. There are a few points that could be better imagined, but overall I would rate the story/plot 5/5.
Grammar - There are grammatical errors throughout but nothing significant enough to ruin it for me. Compared to other stories on this site, grammar is definitely well above average. 4/5
Characters - The characters are well fleshed out and are in general, realistic. The MC is a bit OP but the story doesn’t devolve into a power trip. She still has various significant challenges to overcome. The MC is also quite mature for her age, but there are very good reasons for this. Character progression is slow, realistic and well thought out. 4.5/5
The Author has a hard time with verb conjugation, but otherwise is quite good for having English as a second language.
The mc reincarnates into a baby girl with a plethora of archetypalc personalities to act as an encyclopedia of modern knowledge. As of chapter 41 she still only about 3 years old .Even so plot and story progression happens, with a surprising amount of intrigue and strong world building. And it feels like the author has a plan if the mc ever grows up.
I dropped this story because of the style of writting. With its form of presentation it is more a script than a novel. It makes it easier to simply write "*grabs hand* [...]" than "She grabbed his hand to feel his comforting warmth, fearing to loose herself in the waves of pain". The first describes the action but not the emotion in the action. If it were a scipt performed in a theater this would not matter because the actors would add this emotional component. In a novel it creates an emotional disconnect with the story for most readers.
A well done story.
The author have taken already known elements and somehow made them seem new, (by adding twists and stuff). ambiguous, i know, but this is one of thoose stories in wich it fits.
If you like reincranating stories, this is a good one.
It's also good if you're just neutral about reincarnation stories :)
I am not able to read this, my two primary reasons for this are horrible styling and more horrible styling. More specifically, every page is like an ugly color soup, and the format of dialogue is just... bad, it doesn't feel right. Let me give an example.
*weak voice* "I'm sorry, husband." (Mecabe)
"It's alright, my half. We have many long years ahead of us. You'll give birth to a boy." *hold hands* (Hivern)
"There is something else... The girl is Fair Skin." *hand over newborn* (Old Woman)
Those are just 4 lines from the second chapter, and although I can't display it, the first line would be red, the second one blue, and the third one purple. You can also see some grammar issues in there as well, expect more like it.
I quite like the premise but this styling and formatting is just god awful, it seems like the author talked about it on some forums and someone brought up logic for both the format and color coding, if I read the comments correctly, and they might be correct, if it were some kind of manuscript or audio/video recording transcribed to text. There are good reasons to color code things, but not for novels, and this style is also not good for novels.
The ugly mishmash of colors serves to break your focus and concentration, it's poorly applied and planned. Leave color to the artists and designers who know how to implement them in ways so that they do not have such a negative effect. Overall though, colors hardly have a place in writing unless used with extreme levels of tact.
And the styling, while it would be good if it was the transcript of an interview or something like that, it only serves to completely break reader immersion, there's no flow to this story because of it. Hell, if you just read the first chapter, the only chapter I've actually read, You will find half the conversations are just "***********.***********" and you will also find the description of the story to be inaccurate, it's not really about a child who died in an alley you see, it's about a soul that has lived several lives the latest one involving starving in an alley as a child. It seems to have little relevance to be honest. In other words, the author couldn't even write a proper description, it should be no wonder that he can't write a proper story either.
I do like the premise and may force myself to read a few more chapters to see if I can get used to this dreadful styling, but the most likely result is that I will only return here with more bad things to rant about.
I like it. I think the story is interesting and funny, I espesially like how you handle the other personalities. It's a novel way of doing it that I quite like :)
i came here . expecting a male lead.... dammit .... correct the f..... tag.
I tried, but nope. The style makes this unreadable. Vomit of colours for any dialogue or monologue and the terrible way of describing accompanying actions would have made this a pain to read even if everything else was exceptional. Given how average the characters and story are shaping up to be instead, this work is straight-up unreadable.
This novel has the dubious honour of having by far the worst presentation of dialogue out of everything I ever read, or tried to read.