Soulshard: Willbender

by pyrowind

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Real Fantasy Online. The flagship product for the latest generation neural-interface headset. Touting: "The Best NPC AIs", "Better than Life Realism" and "Total Immersion", RFO promises to be a virtual world like no other. But when the line between one's real self and one's digital identity becomes blurred, and the "Gods" have their own agenda, who is the player, and which is the game?

 

Marcus has played any number of VR games, beta-tested dangerous and unstable systems and lived to tell the tale. He even has a certain amount of fame and influence within...certain circles. He usually disdains the idea of pre-orders and their respective "perks" as blatent commerical exploitation, but this time the bonus is too tempting to pass up. The ability to craft your character's backstory and have it integrated into the game's lore is enough for him to sign up for the Early Access program. He isn't interested in being all-powerful. Frankly, he's been there and done that enough to be bored of the whole thing. Instead, he opts to make a character purely for the purpose of having fun. Things aren't quite what they seem however, and his "backstory" and character class have implications he never would have imagined.

 

Author Note: First time posting a story online, and I'd appreciate any feedback. Updates may be slow, as each "chapter" will likely be in the 10,000 word range and I tend to revise several times before being (tentatively) satisfied. If people seem to like this I'll try to establish a regular post schedule.

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pyrowind

pyrowind

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monkeymanwasd123
Overall

please continue this one if you plan to do a vr and realworld apocolipse speal it would be really helpful if i end up in a scientific job where this may end up as a serious subject as im one of those crazy people who wants to be the real world version of a dungen core as a spaceship biodome or synthetic planet god or similar creature and if i reincarnate it will also be helpful to explore the idea plus it will raise your skill level to write a parrelel story along with whatever else you deside to work on the horde hungers (rick and morty season 1 ep 10 multiverse filled with allyed and enemy ricks and mortys) 

echiro-oda-fan
Overall
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Story
Grammar
Character

This is my first actual review of a story on here, I normally just lurk and wait for releases, but damn the author did a really good job on this. The premise is excellent, the characters are great, and I found myself really engaged in the story. Hell, I came upon this story while I was bored tonight and ended up reading for nearly five hours straight. As of the seventh chapter, the author is doing an amazing job, the only gripes I have are just a few grammatical errors. Nothing major though so don't worry too much and thinking back on it, I believe it was just one line two words were separated by an "r" instead of a space. If you want more details, look at a review down/up. I'm sorry but I tend to be a bit succinct.

Bleh, I hope this isn't at the top of the reviews where people can see it. Anyway, the next bit is directed more towards the author. Have been trying to be in a sort of limbo between speaking to a potential reader and the author but eh.

So, pyrowind (if I am reading that right), your world building is phenominal. I love what you have done with the TA (left out the last letter of the abbreviation), it is a very interesting and unique approach that I see you taking towards how you approach their characters. I can't wait to see more of them in the future. I don't really have an constructive criticism, nor do I think this is a very good "review". Just gonna leave this here and let you know that, if you ever return (or if you left at all, I understand losing the confidence you might had had in releasing the first portion of your story), I look forward to what you write next. Even if your work with Soulshard: Willbender is finished and you have moved on.

Star13
Overall

I expected this to be like any other fantasy online game story, complete with monster bashing and the requisite warrior/crafter/blah blah overpowered MC who can wiggle out of any situation by being shameless and/or "plot lucky." Not judging, i like those too, but I am pleasently surprised to inform all potential readers that nothing is further from the truth. 

I'll try not to give any spoilers, but i would definately class this story as leaning towards the Si-Fi and psychological genres, which reveals itself the more chapters you read. I'm tentatively expecting the story will progress to 50/50 in game and real life storylines, but with a huge twist ;)

The characters themselves are satisfing, at least as much as can be expected by chapter seven. They are certainly not cardboard cutouts. The MC is realistic and reasonably grounded, steering clear of the juvenile persona some game stories prefer, which I for one appreciate. Just a warning though, he is half succubus, so things of that nature do occur occasionally, perhaps sadly with posibility of herem

Spoiler: Spoiler

It only has seven chapters at this point, but they are comendably long so you get a good chunk for your time. Spelling and grammer is wonderful by RoyalRoad standards, certainly nothing to ruin you read. Most of the story is in third-person focused solely on the MC, with snippets from other POV. 

I would really recommend this to anyone. Those of you who are a bit iffy, I suggest you read two or three chapters and you should be able to tell if this story is for you :) 

 

Tilazt
Overall
Spoiler: Spoiler

 

This is not an advanced review, simply because I cannot find anything to blame in this story. It is not perfect, mind you, and I am not saying it is, but it simply blew me away so hard I simply wish I could forward time to read the rest of it. 

Very good descriptions, points of view, internal speech, and extreme level of creativity and writing.

Powerful, Hard, Touching.

If you can, read this. Now.

Lapochka8
Overall

Best, Freaking, Story, Ever

Honestly, just pick it up and read. Pay attention to any and all details and imagine it inside your head and it will turn into a mind blowing experience.

idgetsxx
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Absolutely love the story! I love the references, the chapters are long (10k+ words), and while I can't say that all the science involved is correct it is a least a good attempt. The author does a great job of keeping the story serious yet relaxed, and as if chapter 7 they have done a great job letting the reader feel the sense of urgency the MC is feeling.

Kappa-sama
Overall

Read this novel. Way better than a lot of other novels on this site, and could even probably be sold on Amazon once it gets 300~ pages. 

Aran Archos
Overall

now.. I don't usually write comments or reviews, but I felt that I had with this one because this really gripped me. everything from the story twist to the worldbuilding and characters just felt believable and was entertaining. and it's one I would follow to the end.

You are missed pyrowind where ever you are.

Rune Ralmeceo
Overall

Don’t usually leave reviews but if you ever publish ur name and this book will go in my epic pile! Color me pastel impressed :)

Flinxie
Overall

Hope it's finished some day

This was really shaping up to be a good story. Good characters, great plot, especially at the end. But two years and nothing new? Yeah this one is dead.