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Theo, a prodigy of sword and an aspiring adventurer, lives in an RPG-like world where everyone has their own level and skill. However, his is a hardcore RPG world where more than half of its human never gets higher than level one.
Well, No. Theo is a man born in that world. An NPC you might say. Not only that, he wasn't even the true hero or the main protagonist of his own world. But he does have to meet all those people during his journey to accomplish his dream.
1 chapter every 2 or 3 days.
I don't claim the MC of my story to be not cliched. With so many stories on the internet right now, It's almost impossible if not outright impossible to make an original MC. The best I can do is pick the kind of cliched MC I like the most and give it a twist of my own.
English is not my first language, so there will be some mistakes in every chapter. Please notify me in the comment if you found one (Or some). I'm still an inexperienced writer, so feedbacks and reviews are very much appreciated.
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You know those novels, the ones you enjoy a lot while reading them but when you take a break for a few minutes and think about the things that had happened you realize there are quite some plot holes and annoying stuff that break the flow of the story? This is one of those.
Story has an interesting start. With a MC that is ambitious for all types of things (power, women, money etc.) and yet kinda laid back and lazy. He has a bit of a mysterious history(and a fucked up one which you slowly learn over time) and interesting personality that is both serious and jokester and he even has a harem at the start of the story.
So... While you're reading this, what you realize first is the style and grammar. They are both very simple. There are no "advanced" techniques or fancy words used. Because english isn't authors' first language. This is pretty obvious looking at the grammar. Not saying grammar is bad though, don't get me wrong. But if you read it carefully, you will notice quite a bit of small mistakes. Though since they are all small ones, they don't really affect the meaning of sentences so it's okay for the most part.
Then what you'll notice is the characters. A protagonist that is really cool and chill, a dream main character basically. It's soo fun reading about him. Then there is his girlfriend(s), they are all chill with him having other girls, since they already know about him having other girls before becoming lovers with him. They have good personalities as well, not complaining about every little thing, giving him support whenever he needs it, actually depending on him instead of hiding everything from him and trying to solve the problems by themselves. And stuff like that.
Characters are all good until then. Then slowly more and more characters are introduced(duh) and you realize, almost every single new character you are introduced after like 20th chapter or something, is annoying as f**k.(And MC expreciences quite a bit of a difference in personality around this point as well. For the worse, he becomes a bit annoying) They all have at least one trait that makes them unbearable for longer than a few pages. Some are just retarded people who act smart, some are sluts who annoy the shit out of you, some are people who have the power to change things for the better but just don't do anything, some are naive idiots who somehow survived in this harsh world etc. etc... I can count at least 3 more, but I won't. If it was just one or two of such characters, it wouldn't ruin the entire story but when they are all a part of the big plot going on in that arc and they all get pages and pages of "screen time", they actually make the novel unbearable for you.
Then there is the story, plot... Is there a plot, actually? I mean, I feel like there isn't really anything MC is trying to do. He has his ambitions sure, becoming strong and having a harem and stuff like that, but that is hardly a goal big enough to make it worth my time reading his story. Until chapter 45, MC just came across trouble that has nothing to do with him, randomly, just to risk his life to solve that trouble, even though there won't be any consequences whatsoever for him even if he just walks away. And all those random troubles made the plot so far. That is why it feels pointless for him to even go out of his home where his precious lover(s) and a happy evening/night wait for him to come back everyday.
And I don't know why but this story just made it difficult for me to breathe while I was reading it. It was tiring, almost. I think it has something to do with authors' lack of experience effecting his writing style. Maybe not though, like I said, I just couldn't understand why. I felt like I ran a few laps around the house in winter after I read this, if that makes any sense( yeah I know it doesn't shut up. I just don't know how to express it better)
I would be hard pressed to find a more apt title for this novel than God Blade. It sums up the main appeal and a great portion of the main issues to be found here in one neat little package. More on that later.
This is a harem/lit-rpg, one that bleeds its first genre rather heavily into its second. Blatantly sexual stories don’t get much love from me. I personally believe that they cut corners quite a bit and drown their character development arcs with so much fan service that consumers are better off switching to porn. With my own biases in mind, I tried my best to remove the metal bits from my metaphorical lash while reading.
I may have failed, but that’s for the thumbs to decide.
The grammar and style sits in a semi-comfortable spot for this site. There’s some odd phrasing here and there, some chewy paragraphs - you know, standard stuff, but the prose is eloquent enough to paint scenes beyond stick figure quality. Unfortunately, that’s all the praise I can offer it. It’s fuzzy, but readable. Enlisting an editor’s assistance would be a wise decision.
The world comes across as mildly interesting yet disappointingly standard, not due to the existence of staple lit-rpg tropes and events, but due to the lack of interaction depth with them. Much promise is displayed near the beginning, Ed’s story arc nabs quite a bit of interest when he unearths his destiny as a world-ordained hero while not being the main character. It hints at inroads that are not entirely dependent on Theo, it hints at a world that functions as a world. It’s dangled in front of the reader’s faces and thrown into a chasm, never spoken of again, save for in passing, until tens of chapters later.
In the meantime, we have a montage of Theo chopping up men and monsters, taking jobs on his way to and in the capital, and expanding his party roster a bit. All with middling stakes or stress. The first traveling stint serves us some minor exposition and some major feats of strength and skill on Theo’s part. The stretch doesn’t feel boring or overlong, but it loses a portion of the traction gained by the earlier chapters.
At its core, we have a power fantasy in a community that is saturated with power fantasies. While the volatility of the MC and the fanservice does a bit to make it stand out, God Blade feels otherwise forgettable, the plot seems more focused on amassing girls of every different breed than going for deeper changes of state. Admittedly, this is one of Theo’s goals; he wants the largest harem ever made, but the repercussions and emotional development of a young man with many intimate partners under his charge are sparsely explored at best.
With Mary, we have the opportunity for Theo to garner an appreciation for the simplistic things; a stable home, a grounded community etc, and empathize with those who suffer in silence under a system so much larger than themselves. With Layana, Theo could repair a heart shattered by grief, slowly helping another person come to terms with the pain wrought by seeing a loved one murdered in front of their eyes. With Cissy, we have the opportunity to explore one’s struggle for a sense of identity and belonging, issues that run parallel to his friend Ed. We don’t see much of this after Theo gives them the D.
Yes, I am frustrated by this.
Consider the fact that these prospects do bud before he has a roll in the hay with them, and you may understand why. Even the densest, most truly uncaring of peoples experience some degree of influence due to their companions and nemeses. The Harem genre doesn’t excuse this. Writers need to model their leads' development after those of Mahoromatic and Martian Successor Nedesco rather than To Love-Ru. It isn’t impossible to pull off.
Theo has a mixture of Ichigo’s brashness and Talon of the Silver Hawk’s lecherousness with only a fraction of their redeeming qualities from a moral standpoint. This is not a bad thing. Anti-heroes can be very interesting when portrayed correctly, and easily evades the monotonous pace and predictable actions of standard all-loving-heroes, but not when you place them in a development vacuum.
As a whole, the plot is fairly enjoyable, but riddled with logical gaffs that lean on the willing suspension of disbelief. Individual mileage may vary, but every time things occur in a manner that clearly shifts the image in a way that causes the glint of puppet strings to be clearly visible, my enthusiasm to read the next chapter wanes. Eventually, everything feels like it was made for Theo and Theo alone and nothing important can happen without the shadow of Theo looming overhead. Look at Mary’s side story chapter for example. Theo isn’t even present and his name is mentioned sixteen times…
I could go on, but this review is running quite long already. Just know that Theo is a blackhole from which precious little non-Theo related material can escape. When it does escape, you see what could have been, but will never be.
While it does a passible job (by RRL standards) of doing what it sets out to do, the clear potential to do much more, or do so in a way that seems less heavy handed, embitters me to an extent. If you like OP MCs, Harems, and lit-rpgs, read this. Just take the MC centric plot for what it is and never get tired of Theo sticking his dick into about half as many things as he sticks his sword into.
Again and again and again.
I do hope to see more of Ketu0 in the future, the groundwork is there, it just needs some sturdier bricks.
Okay, this is my first review and I don't really know how to make review, but I will try.
Don't really know what this mean because the guide says about the general feeling of the fiction. The POV is third person with the main focus being the MC(Duh!) Sometimes it changed focus to his companion and enemies, but still in third person.
The action scene is good. The story is pretty serious, but there are some humor and self-referential 4th wall break joke sprinkled around. The author integrate those 4th wall break joke pretty well into the story.
I like the story. The MC is strong but not so OP. He struggle with some enemies while steamrolled other. One of the thing that I like is that the MC actually get injured in a fight, and the wound last for some time, affecting his next few battle (Not in a major way though. Not yet atleast.). The MC also has a lot of hidden tricks up his sleeve.
The MC is born in RPG world. Screen, dungeon, skill, and level up is everyday things for him. There's also some nods to illogical game physics like how women's armor covered so little of their skin and still somehow works. It's a harem story with the MC already having a sizeable harem at the start of the story and he actively trying to expand his harem.
I like how there's prophecy, Demon King, and super powered system protagonist, but the MC is none of that. The MC best friend is kind of Dovahkin btw.
I like how in the succesion war, both faction are bad. And when the MC is given 3 choices, the choices are, bad, worse, and worse.
I might be biased in this section since I'm not that good in english. There are some mistake in each chapter, but nothing serious (For me at least). The author is quick at fixing mistake(s) once you tell him the mistake in the comment, so that's a plus.
The MC is not a good person while not evil. He do what he think is the best for him and his women. His action is usually more to the good side, but that because he care about his public image. When no one is watching, he is brutal and ruthless. He has a soft side and care for the women in his harem. I like how he act around Sir Arslan.
The rest of the characters are pretty fleshed out, though some have short screen time and haven't been explained properly yet.
Oh, and Ed. I like Ed. He's a more typical heroes with family problem and just recently found out he has a super power.
Great Story, I like it. There are a few criticism, however.
The author should give more hint about the MC secret tricks so that the readers aren't left in the dark. So when the MC reveal his secret tricks, it doesn't feel like plot armor or Deus Ex Machina.
Well, that's all I can think of right now. Might change or add some things after the story expand more.
as a fan, i can only support your story !
it's an enjoyable read.
but beware, the author dont know what tense sequencing means.
Why do you have to make the titles so good man? Come on... be a little low profile... I'm just pulling your leg... this is a good piece. I enjoy it a lot. Alright you win, it's awesome, great, beautiful, rainbowy....... I ran out of words.
This series starts off pretty strong, with a protag who would fit the arch rival archtype pretty well. He also is powerful, has a harem already and is keeping up a nice guy act while being a bit more wicked.
The problem comes when he starts just being dumb, which happens after he leaves the city around chapter 11. After that point he does various things which no logical person would do. It is however passable until chapter 17 in which case he goes full retard and only doesn't meet a horrible end because of plot armor. The MC is an idiot who puts himself in a huge risk for no reward. There are other flaws like how he doesn't actually have a concrete personality, not that he just switches between roles but that there doesn't appear to a true personality. His personality is what fits the authors whims for that scene.
Really is a shame because the start showed a lot of interesting promise with all the development but just threw it away for a random adventure so the MC could become stupid for some reason.
I've really enjoyed this story so far. The main character is OP and is dead set on his 3 goals (1 of them being hilarious). The story flows very well and I would like to see where it goes.
-Hope this gets a better ranking later!