- Traumatising content
I'm rewriting this story!
I have taken down Arc 2 and Arc 3 already to avoid spoiling my new novel. The only reason I'm keeping the first 10 chapters is nostalgia; the writing is awkward and the story is not plotted out properly, but it's here if anyone wants to compare it to the new one.
If you'd like to read a more professionally written version of this story, I highly suggest checking out my Synergy.
Synopsis version too-many-to-count:
“I see,” Kiona said. “But . . . you’re changing once again, aren’t you?”
The entity considered her question, lifting a clawed hand towards the night sky. They observed the back of their hand idly, watching the glowing orange veins pulse alongside their pitch-black exoskeleton. The wind picked up right then, and Kiona shivered—just as much from the cold as from the savage grin on the creature's face.
“That’s right,” the entity said, clenching their hand slowly into a fist. They let out a quiet laugh, staring defiantly at the Moon as it rose from behind the clouds. “We are shades, yet not exactly. Not like the others. Here, in this world, we've become something more. We are the Shades of the Moon.”
There was a heartbeat of silence, during which Kiona joined the entity in their skygazing. The light-green Moon loomed over the city, shining like the entity's eyes. It promised otherworldly knowledge and terrible secrets. It promised progress. It promised change. In that moment, Kiona couldn't have imagined anything more beautiful.
“Shades of the Moon, huh?” she said, smiling a bit. It had a nice ring to it.
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Very surprised at the limited amount of followers. The writing is superb and better than the majority of works on this site. The basic premise is similar to some other stories out there, but I think the author has put their unique stamp on it, mixing some tried and true features with some original ideas.
I am honestly surprised that it isn't at least in the top 500(unless the author forgot to make his updated achievements visible, it has only gotten to top 2500), it is better than most other stories on this site, and the ones that are better than it are almost all in the top 20.
: After reading up until Ch 2.7 Close call :
Characters- Same old template for an MC with a dark side, broodier than an Uchiha but always have that annoying 'sugar-fizzed fairy' kind of character around him.
Except Imaya is just annoying as hell and there isn't much introspection to the MC's character as to why he tolerates her and introspection on why she is such an annoying naive pushy know-it-all. The rest of the humans are pretty much stereotypes, although I like the idea about Devi and Teva and how their Codex affects their interaction with each other.
Grammar- A few misfires here and there but the context is easily figured out.
Style- Its good. You see the flow of the story really adhere to the classic adventuring principle. The mechanics are simplified and the dialogues are not rapid-fire interchange or a block of text. The only bad thing about the story is just the characters really. The only likeable character was the MC, if he changes too much then you'll definitely lose a significant fan base.
Story- The story can definitely keep you entertained although the interest quickly drops whenever Imaya is around and when you suddenly introduced new characters outside the MC's current social relations.
All in all, its good. Just dont go wuxia or chuuni on his growth and you're all set.